Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!
Summary: Ste finds out that Brendan killed Danny with surprising results.
A/N: Just to warn people this gets quite steamy so if you don't like that kind of thing then it's best not to read : )
Discovered
It was a quiet day at the club. Stephen was rearranging empty glasses, Cheryl was propped up by the bar, reading a hair magazine. I was slightly to the side, just watching. Watching him. He didn't seem to realise, or perhaps he was too scared to look at me. I wasn't sure that I liked that. Cheryl looked over in my direction and smiled.
"Bren, why are you skulking around in the shadows for? Come over here, I need hair advice"
I sighed, moving closer to Cheryl's side. I could feel Stephen's eyes on me, searching for something.
"And you really think I'm the guy to ask?" I asked Cheryl, raising my eyebrows.
She chuckled and patted my arm. "Good point, love. I need a more feminine opinion" She straightened up and walked towards the door before turning back suddenly, a contemplative look on her face. "Have you heard from Danny lately, Brendan?"
I froze. I must not panic. I must not flinch. I could feel Stephen looking at me. Stop looking, please.
"No..." I said, hoping to sound casual. "Haven't heard from him since he gave up the club". I was being truthful, technically. I wasn't exactly going to say 'No I haven't heard from him since I bashed his brains in with a chisel'. I shuddered. Out the corner of my eye I saw Stephen frown. Now was not the time for him to start getting observant.
"Oh right" Cheryl said, not seeming too phased. "I just wondered really"
"Better off without him, sis" I smiled and she grinned and nodded.
"True, see you later, hun" And then she was gone.
"Bit weird, innit?" Stephen asked from next to me.
I turned around slowly. "What is?" I asked, hoping to sound indifferent.
"That Danny just disappeared like that"
I grunted. "Well, he was never that bothered about the place"
"Still… he didn't strike me as the type to just walk away"
I swallowed, hard. "Like I said, he didn't care about this place. Now, keep your nose out and do what I'm paying you to do" I said gruffly, wincing at my tone. Stephen frowned again and opened his mouth as though about to say something but closed it again, apparently thinking better of it. Good.
I stayed in the office for a while, avoiding him. Eventually though I heard a knock on the door and sighed.
"Come in"
Stephen entered, looking uncomfortable. I gave him my best dangerous glare, hoping he'd get the hint. He didn't.
"Brendan, can I speak to you a minute?" He asked timidly.
I sighed and walked over to the door, shutting it and locking it for good measure.
Stephen's eyes widened. "Um, no that's not what I meant…" He trailed off, looking at me as though I was about to eat him or something.
"Relax, Stephen. I just want a bit of privacy. Judging by the look on your face, this isn't gonna be something pedantic is it?"
"Pedantic?" Stephen asked, looking puzzled.
I sighed again. "Go on, ask away" I crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive position and leaned back onto my desk.
"It's probably nothing…" Stephen trailed off. The boy looked nervous.
"Well, spit it out then" I was beginning to lose my patience.
"Were you…did you have something to do with Danny disappearing?"
I stiffened. I made my expression look blank.
"Now, what would make you think a thing like that, Stephen?"
"It's just… with Cheryl earlier you seemed…edgy when she mentioned Danny. And you said only last week that you did something that Warren saw…" Stephen trailed off, apparently in contemplation of that day. I couldn't resist thinking back to it as well and smiled in spite of myself.
Stephen remained silent, awaiting my answer. "It's got nothing to do with me, Stephen" I couldn't quite look him in the eye. Of all the bad things I'd done to him, I found it difficult to lie to him. Last time I tried, when I told him I was using him, he hadn't believed me. Today seemed to be going that same way.
"I don't believe you"
"Oh don't you now?" I said, moving off the desk and positioning myself very close in front of him. He looked scared and if I wasn't much mistaken, aroused. I could use that, if I wanted to. Make him forget about this whole conversation. I raised my hand and faltered. I couldn't do it. Maybe a few months ago I could have, when I didn't feel anything for him. But now…
"It just doesn't add up" He said bravely.
I chuckled shortly and took a step back from him. "Just leave it alone, yer?"
"So there is something" Stephen sounded triumphant.
"I didn't say that, did I?" I said, starting to become angry.
"Well no. But I know you, Brendan. You're hiding something"
"Oh you know me, do yer?" I got right in his face now, trying to intimidate him with my scariest glare. For once it didn't work. Shit, the boy was getting tougher.
"Yeah, I do. You might not want to admit it to yourself, but we have something special. I'm a simple guy, me. But you… you're complicated. You try to hide it from people but you can't hide it from me. You're scared"
His words had an effect on me that I never could have anticipated. My breathing started to hitch; I could feel dampness in my eyes, threatening to steal down my cheeks. Normally I'd hit him for that but I didn't want to. I couldn't bring myself to. Instead I stepped further back, towards the desk and sat there again, head bowed, face unmistakably disconsolate. I could barely compose myself. It was all getting to be too much. I couldn't take much more of it.
Stephen stayed fixed where he was but I could sense his indecision.
"Brendan…" his voice wavered. He sounded sorry.
"Just leave it, Stephen. It's nothing you need to worry about"
"You said that before. But I do worry; I worry about you, Brendan. You know I do… I-" I cut him off by springing off the desk and pushing him against the wall, placing my hand not too roughly against his mouth.
"Don't say it" I warned, the tears once again threatening to escape from my eyes. I was a man, for fucks sake.
Stephen's eyes widened. I took my hand away from his mouth, breathing heavily. Stephen stared back at me, aghast.
"You killed him, didn't you?"
His words shook me to the core. "You…what?" I was stunned, trying to retain my composure.
"I can see it in your eyes. I felt that change in you, that final line you crossed…You killed him!" Stephen was starting to move towards the door in horror. I stepped quickly behind him and barred his escape.
"You're just jumping to ridiculous accusations now, Stephen!" My face was wet with tears, more with anger than anything else.
"No, I'm not! You can't lie to me! I've been running it over in my head for ages. I'm not as stupid as you think. God, Brendan, just tell me you didn't" Stephen's eyes were starting to glisten. I kept my head bowed, unable to look him in the eye. "Look at me, please. Bren…" his voice was starting to shake. I raised my head, slowly and just looked at him, conveying all I felt in that one look. It was all the confirmation he needed.
"Fuck!" He cursed loudly and I was infinitely grateful that I'd closed the club for lunch.
"Stephen…" My voice trailed off as he attempted to make a break for the door again. I grabbed his shoulders and kept him there. "Just listen to me, I had my reasons"
"Reasons? What reason could you possibly have to kill someone?" Stephen was panting; tears were flowing unencumbered down his face. I brushed one away with my hand, he flinched at my touch.
"I won't hurt you"
"How can I believe that? You killed a man. What was it, Brendan? Did he find out your secret? Was that it?" Stephen was really goading me now. He was a lot braver than I remembered.
"No, it wasn't that… Danny's known for years"
That stopped him in his tracks. "Really?"
"Yes"
"Then why?"
I hesitated. "Does it matter? I did it, didn't I? Now can you see why I said what I said?"
Stephen paused for a moment, confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"I didn't just stop this because of Rae and that baby"
Stephen looked at me blankly. I groaned in annoyance.
"I did it to protect you"
"From what?"
"From me! I'm bad news, Stephen. Simple as"
Stephen contemplated that for a minute but couldn't resist continuing. "But you still haven't told me why, why did you kill him?"
I remained silent.
"Tell me, Brendan!" Stephen shoved at me, not enough to have much of an impact but it rattled me. I got in his face again.
"Wanna try that again?" I threatened menacingly.
"Not until you tell me! Now!"
"Because he fucking threatened you! He was going to kill you"
Stephen didn't seem to process my words properly. "Why the fuck do you care? What am I to you? Just your plaything, pick me up and throw me down whenever you feel like it"
"Shut up, you idiot! You're…" I trailed off.
"I'm what? What the fuck am I? I'm nothing, I'm-"
"You're fucking everything!"
Stephen pressed his lips together firmly. "I don't believe you"
I laughed manically, right in his face. "I killed a man, for yer! What more can you want?"
"I want you to tell me the truth!" Stephen fumed.
I ran a hand through my hair. The boy was really pushing me. "Fine, you want the truth? I hit him over the head with a chisel because he threatened to kill you, and in that moment I lost control. You of all people should understand that!"
That shut him up. His face screwed up in concentration. He opened his mouth to speak again but I didn't let him, I needed to get this out.
"It was wrong, I know it was. But I can't take it back, I never can. I only did it because I love you! You hear me, Stephen? I love the bones of you". I swallowed thickly; did I really just say that?
Stephen was in complete shock. His mouth opened and closed comically a few times as he considered the best thing to do. I expected him to run, or to hit me right there and then. But he didn't. What he did next completely caught me off guard. He kissed me. I let him kiss me, I never did that without telling him so first but I was so exhausted with emotion that I simply let him.
He pulled back after the first initial kiss and hesitated; probably unsure of whether he'd gone too far. I needed this though, I needed him. I kissed him fiercely, my fingers tangling in his hair, bringing him closer to me. My groin pushed against his, I could feel his erection through his jeans.
I pushed him against the wall, my tongue still in his mouth, exploring, wanting to taste every inch of him. I fumbled with his belt and he with mine. We stripped each other to our boxers and I pushed my hand through the waistline of his boxers and grabbed him in my hand. He groaned in my mouth but I merely kissed him harder. It wasn't long before we were preparing ourselves for the inevitable. Exploring fingers, saliva smeared, found my way to behind him. I was desperate in my need, urging him to open up for me quickly. He obliged as best he could.
Soon enough I pushed him against the desk and made him sit on top of it, pushing myself into him and pumping him hard and frantic, as though it was the end of the world and he was all I had left to hold onto. Normally it would be mechanical, pure desire. But after this, after everything that had happened, I needed to be close to him. I pulled him towards me as I thrust into him; my arms were wrapped around him in a vice-like grip that I wasn't intending to loosen any time soon.
With a few more thrusts I felt myself shudder and release. After removing myself and discarding the condom, I took him in my mouth and brought him to climax. He moaned my name in his release and I smiled with him still wrapped around my mouth.
We both panted afterwards, neither one of us wanting to break the silence. Stephen seemed unsure of whether he should leave or not. That was normally the case after one of our sessions like that. I slowly put my trousers back on and Stephen followed suit. We just stared at each other after that, unsure of what to say.
"Should I, um, go then?" Stephen asked, his voice sounded croaky.
"No" I found myself saying. I sat down for a minute in my chair. "Come here"
Stephen walked towards me, unsure. I patted my lap. Stephen looked at me in confusion. I smiled to show that it was okay. He settled himself comfortably onto my lap. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he placed his head onto my shoulder, his nose touching the crook of my neck. It was a pleasant sensation after what we'd just done.
"Are you sorry you told me?" Stephen asked quietly.
I sighed. "No, it was going to come out eventually. Bad things like that don't stay secret for long; I just hope Warren keeps his mouth shut"
Stephen giggled nervously. "I meant um, when you said you loved me"
I laughed. "Oh, that…" I felt Stephen tense in my arms. "No, I'm not sorry"
Stephen relaxed. "Good. Because you know I love you too?"
"Yes, Stephen" I sighed in defeat but couldn't help smiling at him.
He smiled back and leaned in close. I wasn't going to let him make the first move twice in one day so I closed the distance between us with a sweet kiss. God, I must be going soft. What was this boy doing to me?