A/N: I started this one shot about two months ago. I've always been a fan of the thought of this AU coupling and thought that the writers might have done it back in the day. Alas, they did not. This takes place in alternate universe Season Six. Basically, alternate universe after Here Comes Your Man part one. This was a nice break from A Murder of Silhouette and Ashes to Ashes, both of which I hope to update sometime soon. I hope you enjoy!
Rated T for mild sexuality and language.
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It all started out with a carton of chocolate milk.
You were sitting on the wooden bench during lunch with your hair in your face, backpack on the ground, and brown paper bag in your lap. Your cell phone was on as you held it delicately in your hands, the fact that you had no messages. Nothing. Nada. Nothing at all. There was a knot in your stomach that churned and flopped. Craig hadn't given you a call in god knows how long. You'd given him one. Or two. Or three. Or seven. Even though he was still on the cusp of being some hot shot rock star, he was still your boyfriend. Boyfriends call their girlfriends to tell them that they love them and that they miss them and that they can't stand being apart from them, even if they're off to pursue their dreams. Time and time again, you'd get sick thinking about the fact that there could be another girl with her hands all over him and his hands were all over her. Craig was capable of that, after all. You were the poster child for that. It was on the list of the things that were unwillingly coming into the front of your mind that day. It was just one of those days where you didn't want to sit with Peter and Emma, being the traditional third wheel. You still weren't used to their relationship. Sure, Peter had helped Emma through her bout of anorexia but he was still scum, through and through. He just hid it better.
"Manny?"
You looked up, seeing the scruffy and muscular Sean Cameron in front of you. Sean Cameron was the hurricane that had barreled into Degrassi without so much as a warning. He'd looked good. Really good. You knew that Emma noticed too and you knew that Emma had toyed with the thought of getting back together with her first love. In the end, Peter had won out though. You felt for him, in a way. However, you didn't want Emma getting off track and all of her progress being reduced to nothing more than rubble. That was something you couldn't do and you wouldn't stand for, no matter what your disdain for Peter was.
"Hey, Cameron," You greeted him, sliding over. He sat, the two of you basking in the orange September sun. "What, not in the mood to rough it with the kiddies in the cafeteria?"
He laughed, "Yeah, something like that. I'll trade you a chocolate milk for whatever you got."
"Um, I have a turkey sandwich with way too much mayonnaise," You offered, rummaging through the bag to offer the partner slice of the sandwich before the two of you ultimately make the transaction. You cracked open the milk carton and he stuffed his mouth with the sandwich.
"You know you like chocolate milk too much when you'll drink it even if---"
"It tastes like the carton," Sean finished, his mouth stuffed with the sandwich that Spike lovingly prepared for you. The Nelson family was there for you when your own parents shut you out. Sometimes, you can't help but be jealous of Emma. Unlike you, she has a loving family whom accepts her entirely, faults and all. Unlike you, she's not lonely. Unlike you, her heart doesn't ache for the fact that her boyfriend is hundreds of miles away, holding a guitar instead of you. There's one degree of separation between you and Sean Cameron, that being Emma Nelson. The girl that has what you don't and the girl that Sean wants but can't have. She's an intangible puzzle piece.
The two of you sat in silence minus the sounds of slurping and eating. You were alone but together. Sean's face was solemn but neutral. You knew that it must've been a huge blow to him to see the girl that he wanted desperately to win back in the arms of some scummy little kid that didn't know Emma like he did. He knew what it was like to long. He knew what it was like to feel isolated even when you were in a room full of people. You liked that.
"Got something on your mind?"
You swallowed a bite of the sandwich, "Craig hasn't called me. My rock star boyfriend can pick up a guitar and rock out but he can't pick up a phone and call his adoring girlfriend. Messed up, am I right?"
"Wait, Craig's on tour," Sean asked, bewildered. You nodded. Things had changed since he had decided to stay with his parents. Of course, Sean Cameron knew that things changing was a simple fact of life but he was allowed to have his moment of confusion and shock to not coming back to the same old Degrassi. "Wow, I miss everything. Look, Craig's on tour. The guy's busy. Cut him some slack or go find him and ream his ass out."
You looked up at him, "Yeah, things have changed since you went to Wasega, Sean." It was than that, as if on cue, Peter and Emma departed the front doors of Degrassi, his arm around her as her smile beams and they look just so damn happy together. The two of you hurt for different reasons.
"You got that right," Sean mused, bitterly. You could tell he wanted to wring Peter's neck. That's what Sean Cameron would've done in the early years but he's abstaining from that. "I think the two of us should stick together."
You smiled. "Only because you hooked me up with some chocolate milk."
0 0 0 0 0
Weeks passed and the two of you found excuses to hang out when you could. Sean helped you with your science homework. You helped Sean learn how to cook things he didn't just have to add water to and stick in a microwave. You liked all of the stolen moments that the two of you shared together. You liked how when Craig was missing in action and Emma was concerning herself more with Peter than you that you had Sean. The two of you would just let the hours slide by when the two of you were in his and Jay's humble little abode where Sean was crashing. You rented old obscure movies that you'd seen in your childhood but had lone forgotten about. Hanging out with Sean was like coming up for air when you were drowning. It was refreshing. The two of you were the loneliest people in the world but you were lonely together.
"I can't believe your mom never taught you how to make chocolate chip cookies," You mused as the two of you stood side by side in the cramped kitchen. This particular night, you had rented Bowfinger. Sean had enjoyed watching Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors when he was little. He also thought that Heather Graham wasn't too bad on the eyes. You had bashfully admitted to a crush on Eddie Murphy after seeing Dr. Doolittle when you were little. So, the movie had been nothing short of a perfect fit. Two things that meshed together by chance but somehow worked. That was what the two of you were like.
Sean laughed almost sullenly, "Yeah, mom wasn't really up for the whole Suzy Homemaker bit." He glanced at you while you mixed all of the contents in a big bowl. There you were, a sight for sore eyes. Sure, he had Jay and Alex to chill with from time to time but it was the same bullshit day in and day out. While he had remained friendly with Emma, it was just too painful to look at her and now that she belonged to someone else. He smiled as he looked at you, hair in a not so neat ponytail and an old apron you had snagged from Spike adorning you, giving you the whole Suzy Maker vibe. It was cute in a chuckle inducing way.
"Well, Cameron, prepare to get schooled in Cooking 101. Emerill and Julia Child will be your bitches by the time I'm done with you," You laughed while churning the mixture of flour, butter, baking soda, milk, chocolate chips, and the such in the bowl. "I think you can manage finishing this up." You handed him the spoon.
"Glad to see you can trust me with such a great responsibility," Sean chimed in his dry and sarcastic way. You had learned to appreciate Sean's way of joking and had even picked up on it yourself in a way. It was weird, the two of you had gathered pieces of the other and held them close and made them your own. Once Sean was done with the stirring, he stuck the spoon in his mouth.
"Sean!"
"What," He asked, his voice muffled by the gooey cookie dough that he had jammed into his mouth.
You glanced at him, eyebrows arched and mouth open slightly. "Hello, you're going to get food poisoning from the raw egg, dummy! You're not ready yet."
"Oh, I'm not ready yet?"
"No, you're not."
Before you knew it, Sean had tossed a hunk of cookie dough in your direction. You squealed, both in amusement and in the fact that it was a little bit on the gross side. Your face turned red after you wiped the cookie dough off your face. Your bangs hang in your eyes, as you give Sean a death glare which makes you look pretty ridiculous between your messy hair do and your "Kiss the Cook!" apron that's clinging to your body. Sean found the situation equally amusing as he stood there in hysterics.
"It's totally fine, Sean. Because you know what," You reached to the sink before ultimately grabbing the hose. "Payback's a total bitch." With that warning, you sprayed him with the hose before he chased after you, drenched in water, and you sprinted away from him like a thoroughbred on a race track. He finally caught up with you, grabbing you by the waist as you laughed hysterically, the laughter shot out of your mouth and bounced against the walls. For some reason, being in Sean's arms made you feel comfortable in a way you hadn't felt in a while. You had longed for Craig being around; holding you, kissing you, loving you. Sean probably longed for holding Emma in his arms but it wasn't like holding you meant anything to him. It wasn't like you wanted it to mean anything.
The front door opened, a darkly clad Jay entered as he eyed the two of you suspiciously. He laughed, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "What, did I interrupt play time?" He scanned the both of you. You were both innocently guilty as Sean loosened his grip on you and let you go. There was no crime.
"You know what? I should go change," Sean noted before scampering off, leaving you alone with Jay. Jay Hogart: the man, the legend, the infamous sleaze. You crossed your arms, challenging him. You were indestructible when it came to any callous remark he had probably been thinking of. It was Jay. He schemed as he breathed. His only form of communication was smart aleck remarks and insult.
"Well, well, going after your best friend's leftovers," Jay remarked, almost amused. Surely, he was getting a kick out of it. "Wow, they always said you were a classy one, Manny."
You scoffed. You were a scrappy little fighter, whether it was with words or pulling hard. "Really? You're one to talk about class. And besides, I have a boyfriend."
"Yeah but you're lonely, Sean's lonely. You've got a reputation, he'll pretend you're Greenpeace the entire time. It really works out for the two of you."
You sneered at him, flipping your hair over your shoulder. "You know what'll work out for you? Sterilization." You stomped off to go back to the kitchen, feeling guilty yet knowing there was no crime to be guilty of.
0 0 0 0 0
It had been the call. The call you had been dreading. Ten o'clock one night, you had been in Emma's room with her, doing your homework and trying to balance equations. Your cell phone rang. You excused yourself as you happily answered your phone, desperate to hear the voice on the other end. Finally, Craig had managed to call you back. Finally, you could hear his silky voice. Finally, that lonely hole in the pit of your stomach could be filled. Your mouth curled into a smile as you walked up the basement stairs.
The smile faded as Craig talked. He didn't sound like the dead sexy rock star you had loved, hated it, and been perplexed by. There was something off about him. About ten minutes into the conversation, he let it slip. He hadn't been being faithful to you. There has been girls. Girls that he had slept with. Girls that he had touched. Girls that had a piece of him when he was supposed to be yours and yours alone. He muttered some bullshit apology as you wondered if he hadn't been taking his meds or if he were drunk or if he were…on drugs. You didn't know. Frankly, you were too busy feeling your heart just carelessly shatter into pieces inside of your chest. You wanted to hold it together and piece it together. But once again, Craig had let you down. He'd given into temptation. You'd been blind but in a way, you had seen this coming for a long time. He had this knack for picking you up, dusting you off, and then eventually just letting you slip through his fingers until you fell and shattered. The worst part was that this had happened before. The worst part was that you had let it happen again. Tears rolled down your face before you ultimately screamed at him. How could he? How dare he? You had been waiting for him. You hung up after you had promptly told him to go fuck himself and you let the phone drop before you ran out of the house.
It was all a blur. You didn't know how you managed to take a bus to the other side of town and get to your exact destination. But there you were, on Sean Cameron's door step. He answered, in a wife beater and boxers as he looked at you. You surely didn't look like your perky self. You surely looked like a mess with running mascara, tears, and swollen bloodshot eyes.
"Manny? What's wrong?"
You sobbed, "Craig…Craig and I broke up. He didn't even care…he slept with all of these girls. He…I…" Your words are indecipherable as sobs overpower them. You were speaking the language of having your heart totally and completely broken. All Sean could do was wrap his arms around you, in an effort to comfort you. You sobbed into his chest. You were truly alone. But at least you had him.
"Manny, it's gonna be fine," He assured you. For a fleeting moment, you believed him. The world may have been spinning so fast that you couldn't stop it but the arms of Sean Cameron made you feel safe. The world felt safe. And that was alright. You were alright.
0 0 0 0 0
The aftermath of your break up with Craig was something you didn't deal with well. There you were, always with the tears. There you were, always with the depression. Emma had tried to lift you out of it with her sugar coated words and pats on the shoulder. You weren't fine like Sean said you were going to be but that was just an after thought. Now the loneliness you had experienced day in and day out was magnified. Your life felt like a daze. Sometimes, it felt like it was a movie that you were watching as opposed to real life. Everything was far away yet close. You felt so detached from everything but the pain that weighed down on your heart, day in and day out, caused your heart to just ache. Old wounds that Craig Manning had inflicted were ripped apart at the seams. It was a double shot of betrayal past and betrayal present. You had never been the first choice for Craig. First, you had been overlooked because of Ashley Kerwin. Then, you had been overlooked for Vancouver as you played the role of the dream supporting girlfriend. You were never what he had been looking for, just what he had accepted.
Sean Cameron was the clear spot in a blurry world. Your lunch time rituals and meetings were the high points of your days. Shared lunches and conversations made you feel close to someone when you couldn't quite grasp at anyone in your world. You two did your homework together at his apartment. You helped him with Science and he helped you with the dates and places in History that sometimes you just couldn't place. But as time passed and the homework assignments were written up and finished, there were finger grazes. There were glances. You'd feel your heart almost freeze in your chest and stop moving for that fleeting second. It was inappropriate. It was as if you were trespassing on private property. But Sean Cameron's god damn smile lit up the fire inside of you that had been slowly dying since Craig Manning had selfishly exited your life.
Maybe Sean Cameron was slowly fitting into the rules of your life more than you liked. Liking boys that were off limits and property of other girls. Doing things for yourself rather than others. Compromising your values for a dose of popularity. Pursuing your dreams at the expense of your parents' respect, love, and a place to live. It was almost uncanny.
"So, I think we're set for that ungodly test Mr. Perino's throwing our way," You remarked, sitting Indian style on the living room floor with your back up against the couch.
Sean nodded before leaning his back up against the couch too after detaching himself from the history textbooks the two of you had been slaving over. You could feel the heat of his body next to yours. You could feel your throat almost close up. You never sat down and tried to decipher it all. You knew what crushes felt like. You knew what it felt like to be attracted to someone. You knew what love was. But you had no idea what this feeling was. It was new. Maybe it was the burning need to be close to someone when you felt so isolated. Sean protected you. Sean listened to you on the phone. Sean was your soundboard. Sean seemed to be at the center of everything. It felt good to be close to him. It felt right. But it was so taboo. He was Emma's ex-boyfriend. Sure, you had no qualms in the past about taking what wasn't yours but it was different than being Craig Manning's behind closed doors girl. It was different than lighting the fire that burned down the relationship between Spinner and Paige. Nowadays, even if she was currently residing in the Universe of Peter Stone, Emma was your family. Emma's mom was yours. Emma's step dad was yours. Emma's half brother was yours. In a world where your family had just cast you aside so easily, you had to hold onto what you could.
However, there was no denying the heat that you felt building up day in and day out between the two of you.
You leaned into Sean, slowly but surely latching your lips onto his. It was a release, to finally act on something that had been building and building. You weren't sure if Sean was going to respond but he did. He deepened the kiss you had sprung on him and before you knew it, you felt his hands on you. It was then that you knew that this had been what you had been wanting for some time, even if it did involve Sean Cameron on top of you with your back on his not so spic and span living room carpet. The feeling of just being needed and wanted and just being close to someone again covered up all of the hurt that you had been feeling. For this moment, you had someone that couldn't be taken away from you.
But Sean broke it apart, his face painted with a confused and bewildered look "Manny, what are we…what are we doing?" He hovered above you as you managed to meet his eyes with your hopeful brown ones.
"I'm just really tired of being lonely. I can't…I can't do it anymore," You admitted, quite vulnerably.
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
And with that, he kissed you back. Suddenly, the two of you weren't so overlooked anymore.