I didn't realize how much it would hurt. The witch cursed me, so that kissing Emma, my true love, would drain all of her power. The cynical voice in my mind laughed. Like there was any possibility that Emma wanted to kiss me anyway...

I walked around for a bit after that. In my mind, I ran through different conversations I could have with Emma. To warn her or prepare her. In the end, I didn't know what to do. So I went to the only ones whose advice I knew I could trust. David and Mary Margaret. They werre the epitome of good, and would know exactly what to do.

Imagine my surprise when Emma herself opened the door. I should have told her then. I should have warned her some how, but with Regina there...

And then came that moment. That moment I had been longing for since the day I met her. She finally gave in. She revealed her trust in me, and brushed away any and all secrets I might be hiding. She invited me into a private part of her life. To relax and enjoy time with her family. Her good, gracious, accepting and forgiving family.

It would have been so easy to accept. To pretend, for just a moment that she and I might actually have a future together. I wonder if she'll ever know just how hard it was for me to leave her then. To finally get that welcome invitation that I had been praying for, for so long now. And to have to turn it down.

I had to turn it down because if I had gone, and the night ended with her wanting a kiss, I wouldn't have been capable of denying her. Or rather, I wouldn't have denied myself.. At least, I'm not certain that I would have. So I had to turn her down then, while I still knew that I could.

Some might think that it is because I am a good man. I don't think that that is what I am. But then, I'm not exactly the best judge at that sort of thing.

Since the witch laid her curse on my lips I have never had a stronger desire to kiss anyone in my life. They burn with longing. I only thought I desired her before, but now... and I know that with one kiss I would lose her forever. Luckily for everyone, I love her enough to resist.

And yet, there is that still, small voice in my mind that reminds me that true love's kiss will break any curse. Perhaps the witch has forgotten this? Perhaps I shall kiss Emma, and nothing evil will happen. Is our love that strong?

My kiss did not awaken her memories when I tried it in New York a few weeks ago, but David assured me that the same thing had happened with him and Snow White when her memories were taken from her.

Emma remembers me now. She doesn't hate or despise me, and I can only conclude that she trusts me given the many times she has had me look after Henry.

But is it true love? Dare I be bold and kiss her with all the love in my heart? If only I knew for sure that she recognizes our love as true...

For now, I will keep my distance. Hopefully, I will get the opportunity to discuss things with David soon. Until then, I will use my trusty spyglass, and watch over her from afar. I will watch and allow my love for her to grow so much more than I ever dreamed possible.

End