It's official. Violence is everywhere. From school shootings to gangs to murders, violence is just an everyday part of our lives. Let's face it, violence cannot be contained, so we should just learn to live with it, and even accept it. We should ask the government to supply us with guns, knifes, and any other weaponry, even though they'll probably whine about it, since they are attempting to try and stop the fun, the strict villains they are. They need to loosen up and join the party; it's not like we're committing a really heinous crime such as espionage or treason.

We live in the United States, land of the free. We have rights guaranteed to us by the Constitution. So why can't we just go into a store or bank and rob money. The money could be going to something worthwhile, like to a drug dealer. It isn't like we're interfering with others rights; we're just asserting ours. The silly government just doesn't understand that, and is that a surprise? Considering how bright our government is, not really. As for the drug dealers, they make money with that, and it's a way of life for them. Hey, they might need to use that money to care for their family, the ones who aren't dead or in rehab, anyways. If it were up to me, I would make a law that declares that all forms of violence be allowed. Never mind the fact that the woman that get raped every year and suffer from post-traumatic stress and get pregnant, never mind the fact that the people in Africa are committing genocide, and never mind the fact that torture plays a big part in this world. The women who get raped will eventually get over it and move on with their lives, even if the police fail to protect them fully. The genocide in Africa is perfectly acceptable; it's not any of our business anyways. If they feel like their group is the most superior, which shows that they've got big egos, then let them kill. It'll rid the world of the weak, something that totalitarian dictators and governments around the world despise.
As for school shootings, it's perfectly ok to do it, as long as the shooter(s) have a good reason for it. If you're going to shoot up a school, I say go for it. It's not like the police, who still haven't learned any better after the Columbine and Virginia Tech massacres, will go in and help the poor souls getting shot at. They'll probably just stand outside and play "shoot-at-the-windows-and-hope-we-shoot-the-killer." The students that shot up a school either were picked on by bullies, or had a mental problem. A lot of the victims did nothing to them, and that's just not acceptable. How would you feel if someone did nothing to you? Yeah, you'd be hurt and angry. Now the kids who "bullied" the shooters do not deserve to get shot. After all, all they did was bully, and schools seem to welcome that kind of behavior, as they don't intervene until they realize they're getting shot at. Then they plead for their worthless lives, even though it's their fault for not getting help for those kids. Actually, the ones who deserve the most praise are the parents of those kids. Congratulations parents, kudos to you for not giving your child the proper attention and help that they craved! Thanks to you, those fine young people are committing their "dream" of slaughtering students and staff. I'm sure they'll grow up to be successful workers, if they haven't committed suicide already, wouldn't you agree?
I know that some of you would be "horrified" by this paper, and don't pretend you aren't reading this right now, I know you are. Now, I know a lot of this may sound extreme, but it's for the good of the world. Besides, who would stop it? The United States government and its courts are too preoccupied with more important matters, like firing a senator for using lewd gestures in a bathroom stall. Come on, they don't have time to fix the violence when they have a matter as serious as this. So, since no one is going to bother fixing it, I say just relax and join the party. Who knows, in time you may come to like the fact of committing a crime or killing someone while the police just sit and watch. Also, the policemen that get too rough deserve some respect. After all, they are just asserting their authority. It just isn't fair that they get fired, they worked hard, and so what if they get rough? I'm sure the next president will be smart and not interfere, since that's what a lot of the murderers, rapists, and robbers want. Well, I say give them what they want. It's their right, no matter how unconstitutional that may sound. I'm only speaking what many of the accused feel. I'd like to see their reaction when they see this. I'm sure they'd be very pleased, since it'll bring justice to the world.

So all in all, violence is the only way to go in this world. Those who believe there are better solutions and are trying to make the world safer need to just give up. Realists like me know that this is the only way to go in this world. It's the only way to survive, and you know it's true. You can yell at me, threaten me, or even try to disfigure my face. I'm just speaking the truth, and as everyone knows, the truth hurts.

This is a satire, none of it is true whatsoever! I wrote this in summer school, and the teacher liked it a lot. I really want to be a writer, so this was good practice for me.