A/N Based on the song 'Pale' by 'Within Temptation'
Pale
He had always loved her. He remembered her auburn hair catching in the sunlight, blazing like liquid copper and the way her eyes lit up when she laughed. He loved the whimsical twist of her mouth and the faint blush across her cheek bones. She always looked so innocent and untouched in her beauty but he knew the pain in her eyes. Years of being torn down by her father festered, sleeping quietly, nested in her low self-esteem, waiting to stir and awake and dig in its claws at the earliest opportunity should the prey stray too close.
He had been there for her when they were younger, so when he lost his memory he slipped easily back into his role as caring, concerned friend. He wanted to be there for her so badly he slipped the layers over the top of his feelings, burying them so deep that she couldn't possibly notice and so she would draw close to him without feeling uncomfortable.
The afternoon she came to him, lonely and abandoned, by her so-called boyfriend of all people (he did not judge, Pete was his best friend too), he did everything he could to cheer up MJ as if she were his to cheer. He made her smile and laugh as a friend would but each glance he cast at her he feared would betray him and Pete's trust.
When she leaned in to kiss him his loyalty shattered into a thousand pieces. He had forgotten what it was like to kiss her. It was unexpected but so right as an ending to their afternoon together, until she pulled away, guilt-ridden and repentant and he realised just him lonely she must have felt.
Bitterness filled him again as she fled. He felt annoyance at himself for allowing the slip up to ruin the friendship, and hatred towards Peter for not treating her right. The flush of hatred triggered something and as a bodiless voice spoke to him he remembered everything.
None of it seemed to matter now as he lay dying on the ruins of some shattered building, from the same wound that had inflicted and killed his father. Ah, irony, but Harry had no son to blame Spiderman for the death. He clung to life as he looked up through slowly darkening eyes at his beautiful angel. MJ. Her eyes shone with tears and her hair shimmered in the light. Despite everything and even now, he loved her so fiercely it ached. He held onto life till Pete came so that she would not have to be alone with him when he died. He wished he had the energy to reach out and brush away the tears but even breathing had become an effort. He wished he could stay a while longer so he could stay with his forbidden angel, but life was fading and he had to let go.
But for her to still be there when he died it had been worth it.