Pina Colada, King Arthur, and Prince Albert

The Crown Prince Has a Nice Head!

A NaruSasu Oneshot

Composed by: iKoffeeholic

iKoffeeholic's Word: I'm a little lazy today, so this may be a three-shot fic. #6 in the count—10 more days until b-day time! And guys, if you have a prince albert, (and girls who know guys with them), please take care of them and use proper hygiene. Ebola's not an STD, but Koffeeholic cares about you.

March 27: I'm just going back through earlier chapters to do some grammar cleaning. The plot's not going to change, just cleaning and details. And dear Guest, I took your review into consideration. I didn't plan for this story to be longer than a one shot, so things may not fall into place. I'll fix it though.

Pina Colada, King Arthur, and Prince Albert The Crown Prince Has a Nice Head!

Sasuke had graduated University in June and got himself a well-paying job. After months of hard work, his internship was over and done. To reward himself, he decided to go on a Hawaiian vacation with his girlfriend, Sakura. Unfortunately, that extra plane ticket and that beach-view, four-star hotel room would go to waste. The Uchiha caught her sleeping around with Suigetsu, his ex-boyfriend.

Sasuke came out as gay in his third year of high school when he was dating that white-haired guy. But when they went to separate universities, they broke up, freeing Sasuke to explore his sexuality. Catching Suigetsu pounding his (ex)-girlfriend's backside in her dorm room was a deathly blow to Sasuke's heart, and because of that, he vowed to never give his heart to a woman again.

Why not keep his heart from men too? Sasuke knew Suigetsu wasn't going to be with him forever, and he couldn't resist the call of rock-hard abs and cocks. Breasts were just…"eh" to him. He became completely indifferent to all parts female.

The breakup tore him down to the soul. He took out his anger on nearly everyone, even on the neighbour's dog. No one wanted to be around him much, so the isolated vacation could continue even after he returned home.

His flight would be leaving in the morning, and he had no one he could give the ticket to. His brother Itatchi was booked for business conferences and wouldn't be able to spare an ounce of time. His other and almost equally successful friends were also busy. Shikamaru had to give physics lectures that week. Neji had to start his medical residency. Kiba was already vacationing in California with Hinata, leaving Akamaru with Ino and Sai. And he definitely didn't want to sit twelve hours on a flight with Lee.

That left his old roommate, Naruto. It had been a few months since they last talked, hung out, or even looked at each other's faces. Sasuke especially thought that it would be awkward to invite a person you haven't seen in such a long time on vacation.

In the final months of his relationship with Sakura, he felt an emotional distance growing between them. She no longer—or ever did—satisfy him. He craved the hugs and kisses of another man. No one really knew about him being gay, and he never bothered about coming out. It was by pure chance that Sakura landed Suigetsu. Most likely, if the bastard even cared, Suigetsu would've probably explained Sasuke's reaction to her.

When they first came to Konoha University, Naruto and Sasuke weren't exactly the closest of roommates. Naruto immediately caught Sasuke's eye, but he wasn't the social type at first. Sasuke took the imitative to help Naruto with his English studies a few times and even offered to take him out to eat, go swimming, just simple things that would build a friendship. Eventually, the blonde came out of his shell and warmed up to Sasuke. Kiba always teased him about their newly-formed bromance. Sakura barely approved, as Sasuke seemed to devote all his time into nurturing Naruto instead of her.

He often called Itachi whenever the stress of tests, deadlines, and Sakura got to him. Naruto was always a conversation topic for them.

"Is he cute, Sasuke?" Itachi cooed over the phone.

Still feeling some allegiance to Sakura, he couldn't answer. "He's blonde. Kind of like that guy you dated a while back."

"Even though I'm done with Deidara, I will never call his anyone in family ugly. You'd have to be blind to be able to say that."

But the thought of dumping Sakura to make both of their lives easier became an itch that yearned to be scratched. Sasuke was scared of her in away, so he held on a while longer. Then Sasuke began to see Naruto in a light other than friendship.

Naruto wasn't a bad looking guy; he was just strange in Sasuke's eyes. His first impression of him was nearly a mental scar—nightmarish tattoos. He had whiskers tattooed on his cheeks and a trail of paw prints on his neck. And since the blond liked to air dry after showers sans towel, Sasuke discovered even more. The trail of paw prints led to a fox, a toad with teeth like a shark's, various lines of kanji, and a swirl over his belly button. Others graced his tan skin in places someone would only know about if they got intimate with him.

Because Naruto often left a certain region that could've used a bit of covering out in the open after a shower, Sasuke's eyes trailed to his tanned little fellow. It wasn't little to Sasuke even though he had encountered bigger, but it was a decent size. The thing that stood out was a strange fold on its head. Sasuke had heard Naruto talk about a piercing called a "prince albert" once, but he didn't want to seem rude, so he never asked him to explain.

Itachi warned Sasuke to "come out" with caution. "Not every man respects men that like men. Don't spill your guts to just anyone. Study Naruto a little more," he told him.

Their bromance hit a snag the day Sasuke let Naruto in on his deepest, darkest secret. Sasuke didn't say it directly. Naruto just put two-and-two together to get four when Sasuke let the phrase "my ex-boyfriend" slip from his lips. It was then that Sasuke found out that Naruto had a phobia that would ultimately sever their friendship. He trusted him enough to disregard Itachi's warning, but he regretted not heeding it instead.

They weren't close anymore, neither as friends or roommates. They simply grew apart. And the blonde even started using towels after showers. Being betrayed by men and women, he grew to silently hate himself along with other gay men. The world was just too cruel.

That night, after he got home from work, Sasuke dug through his old planners to find Naruto's number. Hopefully, it hadn't changed since the last time they talked.

He sat down on the sofa and dialled the digits with a shaky finger. Every ring grew his anticipation. Then at last, someone picked up the other end.

"Hello?"

Sasuke could barely form words. "N-Naruto?"

"Teme! It's you! How've you been?" Naruto asked him cheerfully. It was as if their bad blow had never happened. Getting called "teme" was a complete throwback for Sasuke.

"I'm good. How about you?" Sasuke tried his best to steer the conversation away from himself.

"Same as always. Still working at the pool," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But I've got a week off since their doing work on it."

Sasuke couldn't be any luckier, but he decided not to rush it. "Got anything planned?"

"Nah. Just some old anime DVDs."

"Well, if that's all you're doing, would you like to go on a Hawaiian vacation with me?" Sasuke asked coolly, propping his feet on his coffee table.

"Really? You want me to fly to Hawaii with you?" Naruto asked him, unsure if Sasuke was serious.

"Yeah. For five days and four nights."

The way Naruto talked made Sasuke imagined his whiskers sinking into an adorable blush. "Is there just one bed? If so, you wanna share it with me, teme?" the blonde said in what could be considered a flirty voice.

"Ughhh. You'll get the couch," Sasuke sighed, blushing too. He didn't want to seem as if he was coming onto him. "Listen, if you wanna go, you better start packing. Our flight leaves at ten and I'll pick you up at seven." He could feel the blonde smiling brightly on the other end. "Where do you live now?"

He gave his address and punctuated it with a bubbly giggle. "M'kay, teme. I'll pack a bunch of Speedos!"

Sasuke sighed and even deeper sigh that seemed to be the hybrid of a groan. "You do have a passport, don't you?"

But the call ended with a click before Naruto answered. Sasuke was overjoyed that Naruto's grudge dissolved, but frightened that he seemed to have had a change of heart about his inner feelings. Deep-down, Sasuke felt that he was going to regret this vacation just that soon.