I am so sorry, I have no idea what drove me to write this. All I know is that it was 1am and the computer was right in front of me. I am very sorry for any mistakes.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own any of the Avengers (though it would be cool to)

Enjoy!

It is a particularly cloudy Tuesday after noon when Tony Stark and his AI accidentally take over the world.

Tony swears his day started out normal, he clearly remembers waking up at Fuck-No in the morning in his lab, covered in a warm blanket he knew wasn't there when he passed out on the couch with the faint smell of Steve on it. He remembers grouchily getting off the couch, stretching his stiff muscles, and deciding he needs coffee immediately.

His trek up to his kitchen (rarely used by himself for anything other than his morning fuel) is slow and full of tired grumbling. Jarvis keeps the lights at the perfect dim balance, which Tony is grateful for as he has no wish to deal with too-bright, glaring lights.

Not nearly soon enough, there's an oversized cup of coffee in his hands and he's making his way back to his lab.

Tony is tinkering now because he can't go back to sleep (what with coffee and nightmares, but we're going to say it's mostly the coffee because thinking about nightmares isn't a good idea) and he's not really paying attention to what his hands are doing or what his mouth is saying. At some point, he thinks he hears himself say something about electronic waffles, but that's not important because suddenly Steve is beside him looking panicked and shaking him and the Goddamn coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

"… Dammit Tony, what did you do?" Tony's brain is still a little addled so he can be excused for being a little late to react.

"What do you mean, 'What did I do?'" Tony asks, confusion causing his face to scrunch up.

Steve sighs in exasperation.

"Tony, Jarvis has taken over the world."

At that, Tony is instantly alert, chocolate brown eyes blown wide in surprise.

"How the hell did that happen?!" Tony squawks (it's a manly squaw, mind), tugging at his hair with frantic hands.

"Well, according to Jarvis, it was on your orders", Steve answers carefully, gently taking Tony's hands away from his hair and awaiting a reaction.

"I think I remember saying something about that this morning", Tony says faintly, not quite sure what to do with himself anymore. It's far too early for this kind of shit.

Steve silently leads him to the solitary couch and allows him to lean on him. Tony's breath is soft and warm on his neck and even at this angle, the blond super soldier can see the dazed incomprehension on Tony's face. He sighs again, this time more in defeat, and begins to card his fingers through Tony's soft, dark hair, waiting for some sort of response (any response at this point).

"I think I accidently became ruler of the world", Tony murmurs.

Any other time he would be ecstatic, proud of what his AI had accomplished, but right now it's far too early ("What do you mean it's two in the afternoon, Steve? It's clearly only nine") for him to give much of a response. Also, there might be a nightmare still fresh in his mind and unintentionally conquering the world is not the way to deal, Pepper's told him that millions of times before. Tony winces, thinking of the scolding he'll receive later.

"Jarvis?" he calls uncertainly, wondering if the AI will still listen to him.

"Yes, sir?" comes the immediate, posh response.

"Did I tell you to take over the world?"

"Indead you did, sir." If he were a little less tired Tony would have sworn there was amusement in Jarvis' otherwise robotic voice.

"Can you please stop?" Tony requests tiredly, not having the energy to really give the order.

"Sorry, sir, that would be impossible. If you would like, we can rule from the sadows and be very subtle about it", Jarvis suggests and Tony, not caring enough to argue (or hear the snark), readily agrees.

"Can you make Steve, Pepper and, and Bruce our co-rulers? We need responsible people with common sense here."

"Of course, sir."

Tony can feel Steve's disapproving glare burning holes on his head, but he doesn't really give a fuck. Later they can have a big party to celebrate and he can make it up to Steve for being a naughty boy (even if it totally wasn't his fault).

With that thought in mind, Tony manages to slip back to sleep, head resting on Steve's shoulder, the other not having the heart to wake him again.

And thus, the story of how Tony Stark took over the world half asleep in his boxers and with only one cup of coffee.

Okay guys, it would be cool if you told me what you think. I need to know if I should stop writing stuff at one in the morning.