This takes place after the dark place in The Last Jedi. I will go on an alternative story line after this first chapter. Please be advised there will be mature content in future. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Bonds

Step after step, her shaky legs carried her. It was raining again, porgs scurried from the grassy hills to their warm, dry nests. The cold droplets fell on her skin but for now she couldn't feel a thing. Her eyes tired and red from her most recent harrowing experience, there was deep disappointment and hurt in her mind where her spirit used to be. No longer was she the bright eyed girl from Jakku. She was nobody and the steps beneath her, the wind that lashed at her face, the rain that soaked her skin, was nothing.

She couldn't remember climbing the final steps to the hut she'd made a temporary home. She couldn't remember lighting the fire or sitting down. She was consumed by the aching hole in her chest. The raw edges partially healed by her new friends, future and fickle idea of purpose in this universe were now bloody, angry wounds. She wrapped her arms around her aching body and shook. No words escaped her lips only that quiet voice in her head whispered, "you are no one, they didn't love you, they left you, they'll never come back".

She felt her sorrow vibrate the air, her feelings no longer her own – she projected them out until the air was heavy with despair. She closed her eyes and while absorbing the blackness of her eyelids she felt him approach. Her raw heart and tired mind attempted to gather itself to detect and respond to the inevitable hostility that came with him, but the air did not change.

There was sadness, but there was a strange calm as well.

Rey opened her eyes and saw sitting opposite her a very gentle looking Kylo Ren. His tall, muscular body was relaxed, legs crossed and arms resting gently on his thighs. His face was softened into a neutral expression as he took in her appearance. She felt too tired to yell, too desperately sad to fight him, so she sat and stared into his dark eyes letting him glimpse into her worried mind. His eyes were soft and almost concerned. Rey felt her stomach twist in disgust as he surveyed her but before she could open her mouth to tell him to go away he spoke.

"Are you…" he started and his eyes searched hers. Her tears dribbled down her cheeks. That concern she had detected before now shone brightly under his furrowed brows. He looked as though he was having trouble choosing what to say. Rey's eyes left his and she looked at her shaky hands.

"Rey…" he said quietly and she jumped, a little startled at the tenderness with which he had said her name.

"I'm not here to hurt you," his eyes gleamed earnestly and she felt him radiate more warmth towards her than the fire beside them.

"Rey…" he whispered, softly prompting her to confide in him. Rey opened her mouth and swallowed back her last few tears. Shaking her hair from her face and patting her eyes dry with the backs of her hands she began to tell him the story of the dark place. The cold, terrible place she had just come from. The confusion, the hope and the desperate search for answers only to find the final tragic outcome when she reached the end. It held no secrets, it revealed no answers, it just let her know that at the end of everything – she was alone. She spoke of how the cold dread had seeped into her bones and how this overwhelming sense of loneliness consumed her.

While she recounted her tale, he sat silently, nodding his head occasionally but never changing his expression from quiet concern.

The logical part of Rey's mind called out for her to be quiet, to not trust him – but she felt so worn, so vulnerable and so desperate for another humans attention and affection that her heart didn't seem to mind that the one she confided in was a murderous monster. She softly reasoned with herself, if his eyes could hold so much kindness towards her – how could she help unravelling so completely?

"And I just felt so completely alone," she finished quietly, the tears falling down her face once more though she wished they would stop. Unable to meet his gaze and a little shocked at her self for revealing so much, she wrapped her arms tighter around her small chest and stared at the simple, black cloth that covered his knees. One of his hands tensed into a fist and she bore her gaze into his knuckles.

"Rey…" he said her name again, yet this time firmly and she shivered. She looked up slowly to meet his gaze and was surprised to see it so fierce. There was an anger there, but not one she had seen before. This anger held no malicious intent, no hatred, but the kind of anger one has when seeing injustice.

"You, are not alone," he said forcefully. Each word escaping his mouth emphatically. His eyes stared into hers with such deep intensity of feeling that her mind went quiet for the first time in months. She looked into his dark eyes, her hope and spark creeping back into her heart. How strange it was to be sitting, almost touching, with a man she hated so deeply but in this moment clinging to his words so tightly. His face changed to one full of conflict and against her will she felt her heart pull inside her chest, her mind sensing his uncertainty. His hand twitched on his thigh. She felt the walls in his mind fall away and she raised an eyebrow. He shrugged and she felt her curiosity overwhelm her. She closed her eyes and slipped into his mind. A display of beautiful fireworks explode into a cold and very dark sky. The fireworks were faint and irregular but in the darkness they reached almost every corner. She opened her eyes and saw that tears had formed in his. His lip trembled and in a quiet voice he said huskily, "I am here with you."

Rey's mind raced, the light he had sparked was now flooding her body. She felt warm, she felt hopeful and for the first time in her life, she smiled at him.

Where were they she wondered. It was evident that they were 'here' together but 'here' seemed to be an island away from everything else. There was no First Order, there was no Luke, no past and no future. At least not yet.

Suddenly it was just them, both tortured in their own way, both struggling with the power that rippled within them. Both betrayed by those who they loved. The pull between them, if it wasn't strangely intense before was now almost like a magnet. Her arm seemed to lift itself. She felt her body hum with peace and excitement. His eyes and his mind spoke of the loneliness and confusion that only she thought she knew. His hand rose gently and without letting his gaze leave hers, he reached out until they were barely millimetres apart.

Had anyone experienced this, wondered Rey. How the force had bonded them so strongly that whilst light years apart they were together almost touching was beyond her capabilities of understanding. He seemed to be just as curious and driven as she was to make this connection, to bond them that his hands trembled.

The past would mean nothing now that they understood each other. She could feel the electricity of the force dance around their finger tips as they closed the gap. Her whole body felt alight, warm and buzzing, a part of the earth, the sky, the water crashing against the cliffs.

She was everything and he was all around her.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity their fingers touched. She had expected his hand to be course and cold but it was soft and incredibly warm. He felt like a small flame she balanced gently on her fingertips. And as they touched the room clouded and then shone around them. Everything was moving so fast but she couldn't break away from his burning eyes. It felt like they were moving through time. Galaxies rushed past them; laughter, love, pain, death, grass, water, beast, man…

Suns and moons circled them in her periphery and her breath caught. The light of a thousand suns and moons danced around them filling their hearts with warmth and coolness simultaneously. The water felt balanced beneath the rocks. Pain felt kind and love crude. Then with a whisper of the wind they would change again. Soft voices of those who came before them caressed their ears with mutterings of lore and of song. Kylo's eyes filled with tears and they cascaded down his face but his expression remained amazed.

She felt the suns and the moons collectively stream through them, no longer circling but pouring into their hearts and tying with ribbons of light Kylo's chest to hers. The knot was almost complete and Rey savoured the moment. In this instant she felt she would never be alone again. In this instant, she felt that she understood and that she would never want for anything more than for this moment to never end.

Then everything fell. The door slammed open and Rey's eyes fell on a Luke so angry he looked like he might murder her.

"You don't understand" she started, and felt Kylo's hand drop from hers.

"You conspire with a murderer!" Luke spat, the contempt in his voice freezing the air around them.

"You don't understand, he is conflicted, I can bring him back!" She cried and looked frantically from the livid Jedi master to her fading new friend. Kylo's warmth disappeared as did he and she was left cold, the fire waning.

"You cannot change him. He is dark to the core," Luke yelled, and the hut shook. Rey stood up defiantly, "he is not, I have seen the light in him!"

"The light within him died years ago, have you forgotten the ones we have lost to his hand?" he yelled and kicked a loose stone on the floor.

She had nearly forgotten, but what had just happened had transcended any past events. What she had just experienced had meant so much more. Or at least she thought so, the memory was now gliding out of her mind becoming cloudy and unreachable.

"Then help me! Return and give us the hope we so desperately need!" She cried and thrust his lightsaber towards him in a final, futile attempt. He recoiled and shut his mouth, glowering at it like she was handing him the keys to hell.

"Then I have no choice" she said quietly, "Ben Solo, is our only hope."