It'd Be a New Day
Summary: "Well let me summarize for you: you're a dick."
And he was.
So that night when she silently cried herself to sleep, that night all she did was think of him and what he'd put her through, all of the bad and the good, how much she loved him, how much she hated him.
In the end, it'd all be okay - right?
Rating: T
Pairing: Steroline [Stefan Salvatore and Caroline Forbes]
AN: FIRST Steroline thing - ever. And it's from Care's point of view generally. I thought I did a decent job. Okay, so the thing is I'm ATTEMPTING THIS for my friend. I'm STERN on trying to be his PERFECT Caroline, because he deserves nothing but that at this point.
He got me into TVD, afterall.
And I can't fuck this up - I really can't. I don't WANT to. I've been studying and watching and TRYING - TRYING SO DAMN HARD to figure Care out. And I finally feel like I've done something right with her, even if this is my first attempt.
My main is Jade West - from Victorious, if any of you are familiar. And Caroline and Jade are on such different tangents - it's different, for me. I know Jade West inside and out, and that's how I want it to be with Caroline.
So if ANYONE thinks there is something wrong with how I'm doing so far - DO NOT hesitate to kindly remind me of my mistake or give me tips on how to fix it. I CANNOT get this wrong, for him.
Bare in my mind this is a FIRST attempt. Go easy, but don't coddle, please 3
To AllOfMeHatesYou: You better like this 3
[OoOoOoO]
"Why don't you care? You're the one who always cared; it's what I liked about you."
Caroline's conversation with Stefan continued to echo in her head through out the night - an unforgiving mantra. It was like her mind was convinced that repeating one of the worst moments of her life was going to fix things - was going to solve the damage that was done to her friendship with him.
Sure, everything had gone to hell; no one could say it hadn't.
Bonnie and Damon were still dead.
No one had found that magic loophole quite yet, but Caroline would. She knew that. She had to, for everyone: for Stefan, for Elena, for Jeremy, for Matt, for Alaric, for her.
Moving on wasn't a permanent fix.
"I had to move on. I didn't have a choice. I had to erase everything."
It was so dismal, the idea of starting over, the idea of moving on. So what, what was Stefan planning on doing? Throwing a white sheet over the entire situation and just pretending like it didn't happen?
If it were that easy, didn't he think she would have tried that? Did he think it was easy to carry the burden of always holding the optimism? She couldn't be the only one trying - she couldn't. She couldn't do this alone.
She had - she'd tried - she'd been exhausting every trick in the book for days!
Caroline yearned for normalcy. She missed Mystic Falls! She missed her friends! She missed Stefan.
Those times where she could have just simple conversations with him. When he would come to her with what was troubling him and she'd be the save all, end all to fix it?
They had been friends - best friends.
Could he really just forget it all?
"Why don't you care? You're the one who always cared, it's what I liked about you."
It was true. Caroline may have always been the optimistic one, but Stefan had always cared.
He picked up everyone and fixed them.
Who was always the one helping Elena when she'd fallen? Stefan.
Who promised Caroline - swore to her, that he wouldn't let anything happen to her? Stefan
And what was he doing by this? Was /this/ making sure that nothing happened to her?!
"I mean, you couldn't hear in all those messages that I left you, you couldn't hear that I was completely falling apart without you?"
It wasn't a 'want' problem. It was a need.
Up until this point, she'd had his back and he'd had hers - it's always been that way since she'd turned.
She could have helped him carry the pain - she could have helped him deal with it. He could have told her anything and she would have never thought any less of him.
He could have voiced to her everything that he wanted.
He could have told her he wanted to move on, start over.
He could have told her that he wished the pain would end.
They all did. They all wanted Bonnie and Damon back.
"Cause I thought we were closer than that."
God, she wanted nothing more to do than just scream at him! Scream at him for all of the grief he'd put her through!
Everything would have been easier for everyone if he'd been around!
They'd lost two; how come he had to make it feel like three?
Sure, her and Damon hadn't been best buds, but she was still affected. Bonnie was her best friend. Stefan was her best friend.
Who else was she going to lose now? Elena? Jeremy? Matt?
When did it stop?
Was this what she had to look forward to, for eternity? Losing and cruising along like she was just supposed to piece herself together at the end of today?
At the end of the day there was no silver lining. There wasn't.
"Well let me summarize for you: you're a dick."
And he was.
So that night when she silently cried herself to sleep, that night all she did was think of him and what he'd put her through, all of the bad and the good, how much she loved him, how much she hated him.
In the end, it'd all be okay - right?
She'd still have that lick of Caroline optimism; cling to the hope that Stefan would realize what he was doing, how he was destroying everyone, how he was destroying her, and he'd change it - right?
She'd wake up tomorrow and it'd be a new day.
…
"You are at a kegger, full of hot girls. And you're single.. And you're well, you're you."
"So what am I supposed to do? Grab some girl, throw her over my shoulder, take her out onto the dance floor?"
"Just take your own advice. Have fun! You know, we deserve a little bit of fun."
" - I didn't mean me!"
[OoOoOoO]
AN: My first shot at Caroline's thoughts EVER. Thoughts? It's obviously from last week's episode - but it was an intense episode, for me. My baby's heart was n.
Now Stefan just has to swoop back in and fix it, and quite being a dick.
Reviews are my life; don't kill me! Especially not now - this is a first.
- Nat