A Second Chance

Author's Note: Hello everyone~ I am still busy writing Tangled, but I needed to relieve some stress by starting another story, different genre, different style…kind of. Anyway, I hope you'll give this fic a chance :D This is my first shot at writing something with so much angst. I want to see what you guys think of it and I would appreciate it so much if you would tell me how I'm doing. I think I'll update in about a week (maybe sooner if the response is good). Thank you!

Warnings: This fic is rated M for a reason. My lemony/smutty scenes might suck a lot. T.T Very angsty. AU

Chapter 1: Anxiety

4:00 A.M.

Dear God, couldn't time go a little faster?

4:01 A.M.

It was quite annoying how the digital clock refused to change its numbers. A minute couldn't possibly be this long. Maybe it was broken or something. The blond paced back and forth in agitation, unsure of what to do with himself. It wasn't like he could start cooking or cleaning or really do anything without the risk of irritating all of his neighbors. He could already imagine the coolly composed Marco's scathing insults and the cold, sarcastic remarks from Law. Perhaps a harsh punch to the arm from Kidd, who always wore those damned brass knuckles for no particular reason. Now that he thought about it, he had some really strange neighbors.

4:02 A.M.

His fingers began shaking from the lack of activity. Swearing, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it quickly, sucking on it as if his life depended on it. Clearly, thinking wasn't distracting enough.

Shit. Just how the hell was he supposed to wait eight more hours? He didn't know why the fuck he set noon as the meeting time, the time they would all head over to the airport together. He should have set it for 6 A.M. or something. Too late to change it now. Besides, there was no point in waiting at the airport when the estimated arrival time was sometime in the late afternoon.

He hadn't been able to sleep at all, tossing and turning in his bed as if that was going to help him. He'd tried counting sheep, reading dull material, surfing on the net on his laptop. Nothing worked. He was only rewarded with dark bags under bloodshot eyes.

He probably looked like shit.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

The sound of the phone ringing jarred his nerves, and he snatched it compulsively, fumbling for a second. "Hello?"

"You couldn't sleep either?" Nami's voice was filled with weariness. "I figured you'd pick up."

"We both know I tend to worry too much," Sanji tried to say lightly, "but nothing's going to go wrong. They're all being dispatched today and they'll all return home safely."

"That's right," Robin's voice interjected into their conversation casually. Sanji laughed, a small, reluctant smile forming on his face.

"Good morning to you as well, Robin-chan. Are you Nami-san's place right now?"

" 're waiting together," she said quietly, "hoping for the best. After all, they don't report injuries or anything until tomorrow-"

"Anyway," Nami interrupted and Sanji was grateful. He didn't want to think at all about anything like that, since Robin had a tendency to talk morbidly when she was trying to cope with her own stress. "Welcome home dinner party at your house, right? What should we bring?"

"Anything you can spare," Sanji grinned. "Some of the worst gluttons are coming home, remember?"

Nami and Robin both laughed. "Good point. We'll see you at noon, then."

"Bye, ladies."

"Try to relax, Sanji-kun," Nami said, concern only slightly noticeable in her evenly spoken words. "He'll be fine."

"Thanks, Nami-san. I'll see you later." He hung up the phone after hearing the click from Nami disconnecting.

What was this uncomfortable feeling? Nothing, nothing, was going to go wrong. Everything was fine. So why did he feel like there was something he was missing? He shivered, despite the fact that it happened to be quite sunny and warm, even at this time of day – or was it morning? A frown pulled the muscles in his forehead and he sighed.

4:10 A.M.

"Oh, fuck, I give up," Sanji muttered wearily, pulling out another cigarette and his lighter.

Such a weak flame.

It didn't even begin compare to the heat, the fire, the warmth, the love that Ace had overwhelmed him with a year ago.

Fuck, he missed him. He had told himself he would never admit it, not even to himself, mentally or verbally. Because all it did was make the loneliness, the longing, that much worse. Self-pity was something he didn't allow himself to feel, but every time he thought about the freckled smile, he wanted to scream, wanted to tell him he couldn't possibly make it through a year without him. Wanted…

But he had made it. One fucking torturous, agonizing year. He couldn't take much more than this and he didn't have to.

He plopped down on to the plush bed, curling into a fetus position. What was he going to say to him anyway? Would Ace be the same Ace he had known before? He knew that wars often changed people, haunted them even after they ended. Of course, none of this mattered to him, since he'd stay at Ace's side regardless.

Would Ace still love him? Would he be capable of it?

Sanji stared blankly at the wall, when his vision began to blur. Holy shit, that was not a tear. He had come this far, a whole year, without crying. After all, he had promised Ace that even if he wouldn't fake a smile, he wouldn't cry. So why did his eyes refuse to listen to him? One teardrop after another escaped, streaking down his face. Was he really that pathetic? He didn't know anymore. It was too difficult to be logical.

[~ * ~]

"Z-Zoro…" Sanji panted, gasping for breath.

Zoro smirked humorlessly, his lips and tongue blazing a wet trail down the blond's jaw, down the delicate throat, to find the sensitive spot where his pulse could be felt. He sucked hard enough to leave a mark. A mark that would brand Sanji as his. He knew nothing lasted forever, but he wanted to claim Sanji, own him, possess him. Even for just a moment.

Sanji's hot breath hit his ear, and Zoro shuddered, almost incapable of controlling his desire.

Questing fingers easily flicked open the buttons of the blue striped shirt, finding the rosy, erect nipples. Without hesitation, Zoro kissed his way further down the blond's collarbone to arrive at the left one, as he began licking the pointed tip, pinching the other.

"F-fuck, Zoro…hurry…hurry up…" the blond cried out, his hips arching reflexively.

Wordlessly, he drifted his hand lower to unzip the pants, yanked them off along with his boxers, to the leaking erection begging for attention. His fingers firmly traced over the various veins, the wet head, stroking.

"Stop teasing me…" Sanji breathed. "Nnnnn! Come inside me already…"

Zoro pumped harder, the friction driving both of them insane. It was killing him to see Sanji's aroused expression, the glazed gray-blue eyes, the parted, full lips.

"It'll hurt," Zoro finally said. "No condom, no lube-"

"I don't care."

Zoro's eyes widened, but he said nothing in response as he put a finger to Sanji's mouth for him to lick.

Fuck, he had been waiting for this for so long, he didn't know if he could last.

He found Sanji's entrance and slowly thrust in a finger. As expected, Sanji was tight. He pulled out and thrust back in, finding the sweet spot that caused Sanji to scream out in pleasure.

"Zoro, Zoro, Zoro…" Sanji flung his arms around Zoro's neck, breathing in his ear, chanting his name.

He slipped in another finger, feeling Sanji tighten around him. He scissored his fingers inside the blond, making him cry out.

"I don't want to come without you," Sanji whispered, clutching at him desperately. "But…"

"Come," Zoro murmured, voice even more gruff and low than usual.

"Nnnnn…Zoro!"

RING! RING RING!

With a gasp, Roronoa Zoro's eyes flew open, taking in the brightness of the room with difficulty. For a brief second, he struggled to understand what had happened, when a blinding headache made him wince. Fuck. He must have had a little too much to drink last night. Various bottles of alcohol littered the floor near his bed, some still half full, some spilling on to the floor. What a mess. But what was even worse was his current condition.

He had come in his bed all because of that fucking vivid dream, which was more like a nightmare to him than anything else. Why the hell did he dream about his best friend like that? It didn't happen often but it was a common enough occurrence to freak him out every single time. And even more than that, it disgusted him. He was still half-hard. Tasting bile in his mouth, he cleaned himself up with the blanket, hating how he smelled of sex that he didn't have.

It wasn't like he was gay, because he really wasn't. He had never had these kinds of dreams or thoughts about anyone, man or woman, until a year ago. Which made him feel even more revolted with himself…because he knew exactly why he had become this way.

Fuck, he was so repulsive he horrified himself.

RING! RING! RING!

Wearily and rather frazzled, he picked up the obnoxiously loud phone. Maybe it was because his head was feeling sensitive, but it felt like the usually quiet phone was shouting in his ear. He responded flatly and groggily, "What."

"Oi, shitty marimo, are you kidding me right now?" The voice was so shrill that Zoro couldn't even discern the words or who was talking. Then his eyes widened at the nickname registering in his sluggish brain.

"Curly?" he rasped, eyes widening. "What the hell…"

He choked back his surprise, dry throat making a motion to swallow. Mustering the strength to yank himself out of bed, he shoved on boxers and a pair of sweatpants, ignoring his raging headache and nausea.

"Do you know what time it is? I told you over and over again, specifically, that you had to be here by noon, asshole. We're leaving for the airport a half an hour later just for you, so no excuses! Get your ass over here!"

"It's already noon?" Zoro mumbled, glancing quickly at the clock. 12:00 P.M. "Sorry."

"Why am I not surprised you have a hangover? Just how much did you drink yesterday? You must be retarded." Sanji's voice softened. "You worried?"

Not for the same reason you are.

"Um…just feeling a lot of…stress…" Zoro said slowly, pulling a shirt over his head. "I'll be there in five."

"Brush your damned teeth and try to wear something decent, will you?" Sanji sighed. "You don't need to be here in such a rush if you're going to show up like a schlub."

"What the fuck is a schlub?" Zoro found himself chuckling.

"You. So get your ass over here after cleaning yourself up." Click.

Fuck, this was torture. Was he a fool or was he just naïve? Zoro didn't know anymore. Nothing good could ever come out of being so insanely attracted to, in such extreme lust with, a friend, especially one who was so happy with his own lover that he couldn't possibly spare a glance for anyone else.

He rubbed a cold, sweaty palm across his face, feeling like he had come back from one of his intense workout sessions. But it felt infinitely worse. He headed over to his bathroom, splashing water onto his face and rubbing it so harshly with a towel that it turned pink. Absentmindedly, he began brushing his teeth, looking at himself in the mirror.

Shit, he looked awful.

The frown that had settled over his eyebrows seemed permanently set above his nose bridge. His eyes were more red than white and the skin under them was an entirely different color than the rest of his unusually pale – though somewhat strangely pink – face. His green hair was haphazardly matted in some areas, spiky in others, frizzy in general.

12:10 P.M.

Which meant there was no time for a shower, knowing how impatient Sanji was going to get. Instead, he cupped water into his hands and poured it on his bowed head. When he looked up, his hair dripped with excess water. At least after he dried it, it looked almost presentable. Leaving the bathroom, he grabbed a pair of acceptable black pants, deciding to leave his graphic t-shirt on.

He hated this. He hated that he didn't want Ace to come back. He hated that he couldn't just be happy for them. He hated himself for hanging so close around Sanji even when he knew it would just make it so much worse in the long run. And above all, he hated that he lived in an apartment right below Sanji and Ace's but couldn't bring himself to move.

Taking a deep breath, he left his apartment space to walk up the stairs one floor to where Sanji and Ace lived. Forcing a smirk, he knocked on the door. "Dartboard brow, open the door-"

To his surprise – though he should have expected it, since they were headed for the airport together – it was Nami who opened the door, face unnaturally panicked. "Come in, come in."

"What the hell is going on-"

"The plane's 'official' arrival time has finally been announced. Sorry, Sanji's freaked out and you know what that means," Nami said wryly, speaking faster than usual.

"So everyone's like that now," Zoro said flatly, sighing. Sanji's penchant to worry was unbelievably contagious. "I got it. He wants to leave as soon as possible, I'm guessing."

He and Nami quickly walked into the family room, and he sighed again at the sight. Robin seemed to be calm, sitting on the couch as always, but she was slowly wringing her hands with such force they were losing blood circulation. Marco was a tense, still figure, leaning casually against the wall in the shadows, while Law and Kidd sat on the opposite sides of the room on the floor. As expected, Brook sat on the piano bench while Usopp stood awkwardly by the windowsill.

And of course, Sanji. He was sitting in the couch next to Robin so stiffly that it almost hurt just to look at him. His face was pulled taut, emotionless, though his eyes gave everything away as he stared vacantly at Zoro's entrance.

"Everyone's here, huh," Zoro muttered.

A laptop on the coffee table was hooked up to the flatscreen TV, showing the plane's planned arrival time and the military's progress in returning. Each person was tracked in order to make sure they had safely gone home.

The tension in the air was so thick it was like it couldn't even be cut by a knife. No one bothered talking, no one bothered eating. They all pretended to be calm, even as they stole glances at the unrelenting sight of the digital table on the screen. A brief moment later, a loud beeping noise broke the silence and everyone turned to stare at the TV.

Portgas D. Ace – N/A. Monkey D. Luffy – N/A. Cutty Flam – N/A.

"What the hell?" Sanji finally spoke, voice raspy from the lack of talking. "What the hell is going on?"

"Calm down, curly. Just wait. Have faith," Zoro said softly. Next to him, Nami bit her lip as if she was trying not to cry. Why were the three of them the only ones with statuses like that?

With a growl at Sanji's stricken face, Zoro walked over to the coffee table and slammed the laptop closed, which made it promptly hibernate. The TV turned black as the connection was lost.

"What are you doing, shitty marimo!" Sanji demanded. "Open it."

What was he supposed to say? He had reacted without thinking, not wanting to see Sanji agonize over every little thing when nothing was for certain.

"Zoro's right," Nami said, crossing her arms. "We should try to eat something. Let's just stay patient. It's been a year. After we eat, we can go to the airport. And Sanji, don't bring your laptop."

Sanji looked as though he wanted to argue, but he eventually nodded. "You're right, Nami-swan. Let's go to the dining room. I set up some food there."

As everyone began to shuffle around and head over to the nearby room, Zoro found himself Sanji's arm to make him stay behind. When everyone had gone, he was at a loss for words.

"What do you want. If you're going to ask if I'm okay, then I'm fine. Let go," Sanji said flatly.

"That's not what I wanted to say. If you want to go to the bathroom, I'll cover you," Zoro muttered. "You should just let it all out."

"That sounds disgusting, marimo." But Sanji chuckled softly. "No, I'm fine."

They both knew what Zoro really meant. If Sanji needed to cry, needed some time alone…

Zoro's hands clenched into fists. Why did it have to hurt so much to see him that way? Sanji's shoulders were still stiff and squared as if he was preparing for something terrible to happen. And the dark bags under the grayish blue eyes rivaled his own.

I'm here for you…

Zoro didn't dare speak the words aloud and instead chose to clap his hand on Sanji's tense shoulder. "Go eat."

[~ * ~]

5:06 P.M.

If Sanji had brought his laptop, he would have probably broken it trying to refresh the page where the statuses were being updated. Thank God for Nami.

Instead, he chewed on what felt like his millionth cigarette, watching the other families worry just like his large group of friends was. Some were crying, some were praying, and others just looked blankly in front of them hopelessly. He could see a woman with two little children, pretending like everything was okay, though he could see the strain in her eyes. Maybe the kids' father was someone they had never met before or remembered and she was nervous about that too. An elderly couple seemed to wait for, perhaps, a grandson or son. Everyone was waiting, patiently or not. They had to.

The military was late. Or maybe it was the plane. No one was exiting the terminal doors at all.

He grimaced. The air fairly crackled with the anxiety that everyone in the waiting room was feeling so acutely. After all, it was only natural that they would all be feeling this way; a person that was close or precious to them was involved.

The whole lot of people that had waited at his place had piled into several cars and had headed for the airport as soon as they had finished eating what little they could.

Dammit.

Sanji was running out of cigarettes, the ashtray filled and almost overflowing with butts. Even this much of a nicotine rush didn't distract him, didn't take his mind off the doubts. What doubts? He didn't even quite understand it himself. Just a feeling. A feeling that things weren't going as they should. His intuition, or whatever it really was, was screaming at him, but there was nothing he could do.

Dammit.

"Oh my God," Nami barely breathed out, beginning to hyperventilate. Her shaking finger pointed to the figure running behind the translucent glass doors ahead of everyone else. She was seeing something that the others couldn't quite follow, though from her shock, they assumed it couldn't be anyone but Luffy.

"Nami…?" Robin said softly. "Are you alright?"

She screamed instead of replying.

"LUFFY!"

When the teen finally burst out of the doors, he didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't do anything but run straight towards Sanji as if he were crazed, completely ignoring Nami. He looked battered and tired, wounded in more than one place from the bandages that could be seen.

Sanji heard the people begin to cheer as they could see the rest of the military exiting on one side and Nami crying in disbelief and confusion on the other. Chaos.

"What's going on, Luffy-"

"SANJI!" Luffy roared, falling to his knees in defeat in front of the blond, clutching at the signature black pants with unrestrained strength. "Sanji…I'm sorry…"

"What?" Sanji yelled, not understanding why tears were forming in his eyes. It can't be…

He shook his head, refusing to think about it. "Talk!"

"Ace…he…hospital…"

"Tell me clearly, Luffy," Sanji said, not recognizing that voice filled with a killing intent, that deadly calm voice that seemed detached from him, even as he knew that it was he himself that was talking.

"He…He was taken to the ICU to Chopper's hospital yesterday by a helicopter. He's…in critical condition…and it's all my fault…"

[~ * ~]

Author's Note (Continued…?): Dear StrawHatsXD, if you see this, I'm also working on the first chapter of Beauty and the Geek, so don't worry! I don't know why this one came out first…

I have a terrible lack of knowledge about war, and I'm doing my best to research it, though you can probably tell that I'm taking a lot of liberties with it, especially the fact that the WG escorts people home and you can't pick them up. I know that probably doesn't happen in real life, but

If I make any awful mistakes, please feel free to let me know. Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask; if you have comments, feel free to do so. I love and appreciate all feedback. Thank you very much for your time *hearts*