If you only knew Chapter 1, a ncis fanfic

"Ziva" Tony yelled as she finished rambling and ran out. All he could think about was all the time they had spent together and now it had come down to all this. The screaming, the fighting and the hate. It was all to much. Ziva words could not stop replaying in his head. "You don't care about me" , "What am I Just a game?", "Do I mean anything to you" and the worst "you really truley hate me, Don't you". Oh if she had only known how Tony really felt about her. He wanted them to be more then just an item, he wanted them to get married and have kids. It was ten o'clock and Tony had to go to sleep. He had fallen alseep just moments before he heard a voice say to him.

If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
I swear I've lived and learned

Was it ziva? As he heard the voice it got closer until he saw her face and her reaching for his hand. As he graped her hand all felt right. As they sat and talked he poured out his feelings to her. He told how everyday he wakes up afraid that he would suffer the same fate kate did for the team. He explained that everytime he holds the gun and hears shots he thinks of her. He told her of how she ment everything to him. How the only thing that gets himthrough the sleepless nights is how looks to the left and sees the picture of him holding her that summer night on the beach.

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I still believe
In is you, if you only knew

Tony enjoed having someone with Ziva to talk to when he was upset. Ziva was the only thing that kept him doing what he was. The thought of losing her forever at that very second was never thought of. He would die if that happend. He wanted her to be his forever and ever but how. After all that he had said to her. The days events replayed in his head as he tried to figure out where everything went wrong.

If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that wen't wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days I
Spent, nights we shared,
Or letters that I sent

Tony contiued to think of the things that made Ziva as wonderful as she was. He was ready to give up all of his ways if she would give him her hand in marriage. He had plaaned out a way to do it and everything. Tommrow would be the day that he got down on one knee and said the words that he thought he would never say. "Would you marry me"? to Ziva. He was ready and hopefully so was she.

Ziva's phone was ringing and it was tony and he was not letting her miss this call. He wanted everything to be good between those two for the big day. Who he heard on the other line was the last person he wanted to.

If you only knew
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
You help me live and learn

It was Gibbs. As he heard the tone of gibbs voice he knew somthing as wrong. As he heard the words that was coming out of gibb's mouth he wasn't paying any attenion all he could hear was the first few words he said "She's been shot Toney, Ziva's been shot".