Okay guys, here's the lay down.

Number 1: I love Naruto. The anime and the character guys .

Number 2: Yaoi is my religion. And to be quite honest, I don't give a flipping fuck about what you think. Have a problem? Contact me and we'll have a nice little chat yeah? ^-^

Aaaaaaaand Number 3: I like to write, daydream and anyway I have to use up all these note-books I got O__O

Sooooo my story???

Angst? Check -

Smexy stuff? Double check XD

Lots of love? Yuppers! =3

Will you enjoy it? I don't read minds darling O__o

But I would if I could ^-^

My chapters are short, I know, but there will be lots of them =D

Anywhoo…enjoy the story and review if you could be so kind XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. Now, with that out of the way, I can make them do whatever I like ^0^ Mwahahahaha!!!

-Chapter 1-

Naruto sat alone in the darkness of his room. He ignored the fact that sitting on his bed or on a chair would be more comfortable and stayed curled up on the floor, leaning against the cold wall. His knees were drawn up to his chest, his arms wound around them. Silent tears streamed down his face and dripped onto his clothes. His face was scrunched up in terrible pain, his shoulders trembling as he choked back sobs.

What was the point in sobbing when no-one would hear? When, no matter how loudly you screamed or cried? What was the point in doing it in the first place?

Loneliness clawed at Naruto and he curled up even smaller, as if by doing so, he could escape it. This was the side of him that he locked within himself, and only let loose when he was alone. The side of him that was buried out of reach and he pretended didn't exist until the pain became unbearable and his emotions demanded release.

He was all alone, and the absolution of that statement haunted the blonde with each minute that ticked by. Sure he had friends like Kakashi-sensei, Sakura and Sasuke. Iruka too, but they didn't really know or understand him.

Kakashi never took the time to see the sadness that always lurked in Naruto's eyes. He only accepted the surface image and dismissed Naruto as an inevitable annoyance.

To Sakura, he was just a loud-mouthed idiot. An obstacle that stood between her and Sasuke. She didn't care that he was desperate for her attention. Didn't care that everytime she pushed him away, he retreated a little more into himself, into his heart that was slowly withering away.

And to Sasuke, he was nothing even worth noticing. He wasn't strong enough to be a rival. He wasn't cool enough to be a friend. He wasn't smart enough to even be respected by him in some form or another.

Then there was Iruka.

His relationship with Iruka was a combination of a son and a little brother. He hugged him, smiled at him, gave advice when needed and bought him ramen. This, Naruto knew, was Iruka's way of showing affection. He knew it, but it did nothing to help him.

Although Iruka was definitely the closet person to him, there was still a level of distrust between the two of them and everyone else. No-one, not even Iruka, could forget that he was the Kyuubi, a beast.

For years, the villagers had told him what a monster he was, but he had never allowed himself to believe it. But here, alone and lost in the blackness of his room, it was so easy to be persuaded otherwise. A vision of the nine-tailed fox flashed across his mind. The fox was smiling with delight as he killed the pitiful beings below him. The fox's fur was bright orange, and the bloodthirsty eyes were a sparkling blue.

Naruto shuddered.

He curled up onto himself, wishing he could make this horror go away. The horrible feeling came in the form of an invisible hole. As he became more upset, it tore further at Naruto's will, his happiness and his self control, sucking it into the oblivion known only by the most miserable.

Any happy memories or thoughts seemed fake, making Naruto doubt the intentions of everyone around him. The faces flashed before him, before sliding away slowly. Kiba, Shino, Neji, Lee, Chouji, Shikamaru, Hinata.

Are they really my friends? Naruto wondered to himself. Will they only betray me in the end? It's probably best not to care for them. If I don't care for them, then they can't hurt me….

Naruto became more confused as he thought through things. His mind was a riot of pain, isolation and fear. He was desperate to end this pain. It was tearing him apart from the inside-out.

Naruto, being a shinobi, knew pain well, but this was different. Flesh wounds at least, could be seen and touched and treated. This pain wasn't the same at all; it didn't concentrate on one point, no. This pain flowed through his veins in sharp, cold cuts, making him feel strangled. Causing his body to feel as if it was being stabbed at. It moved at the speed of light, leaving nowhere untouched.

Gradually, after much crying and trembling, it became an ache. Naruto sighed wearily into his lap, the force of defeat leaning heavily on his broken mind.

Just as he became accustomed to the dull throbbing that vibrated through his body and gagged him slightly, he felt the darkness within himself expand. Now his misery had entered the third stage.

The hole he felt was not a "pain" per say, but an even more terrifying feeling now. It wasn't so much a "feeling" but the "opposite" completely; it was nothingness. It washed over him, causing him to shudder in disgust, and he was ended up numb with no feeling. The numbness spread from his fingertips to his toes, and everywhere in between.

All thoughts had vanished and were replaced by a deafening silence. He was, in essence, nothing. He couldn't feel or think. He hunched in the corner of his bedroom, in the darkness, living through his own personal hell.

If the pain had been unbearable before, this was a whole new level of suffering. Utter insignificance was his existence. This was what the boy had now come to believe.