"Games?" I mused out loud. I was leaning against Ellis' shoulder on our favorite spot on the roof, enjoying the light breeze. "Let's see…anything like Grand Theft Auto, I'm always up for…although I don't seem to have enough of an attention span for the missions…" Ellis snorted,
"If ya never finished the game, it don't count."
"Hey, I finished!" I said indignantly. "I just…took three times as long because I kept shooting hookers…" Ellis laughed.
"Ain't that the whole point?"
"Hell yes! Whenever I was about to quit for the night, I'd save, then stockpile all the weapons I could get my hands on and go on a rampage until the cops shot me. I could usually get two or three choppers down before anyone touched me!"
"What, no tanks?"
"Well, yeah…but you had to cheat to get those."
"And I take it you're above all that?" I snorted.
"Of course not. But hey, what's the point of only cheating to get a tank?" Ellis frowned.
"The hell 'r ya talkin' about? That thing was badass! You could blow up anything!" I scoffed.
"Amateur. No, why drive a tank when you can have a flying nitro tractor of death?" He craned his neck around and raised an eyebrow at me.
"Okay…what the fuck?" I sighed and faced him more completely, ticking items off on my fingers.
"You cheat to get a tractor. You cheat to give all vehicles nitro. You cheat to make all vehicles able to fly. Then you cheat to give it the same run-over-and-blow-up-whatever-the-hell-you-want capabilities of a tank. And if you want, you can make the damn thing drive on water."
"Hoooooly shit."
"What? You can't seriously tell me you never tried it!" Ellis was silent. "What about the jet pack?"
"Well, 'course I had that…"
"Yeah, you did. And it's boring. No weapons capabilities whatsoever. I had a flying golf cart. Did you have a flying golf cart? Didn't think so." We grinned and were silent for half a second.
"So…any video games where you weren't terrorizin' the population?" I rolled my eyes.
"Well, of course. What do you take me for?"
"A little psychotic?" I pushed him.
"Ellis! I am not…well, okay…fine…but there were other games like…um…let's see. Well, that doesn't count. I shot everyone's horse all the time. And zombies. Those things were the legitimate have-to-get-them-in-the-head-before-they'll-stop-trying-to-eat-your-brains type too…and there was that badass gun where you could shoot their body parts at them and make them explode…" I noticed the look Ellis was giving me, grinned wickedly, and shook my head. "Anyway…Portal! There we go!" I grinned challengingly. "Find something psychotic in that!" He unsuccessfully tried to hide a laugh with a cough.
"Aw man…that's even worse!"
"Oh, come on, what now?" He snickered behind his hand. "What?"
"You're…such…a nerd…" he choked out. I crossed my arms and smirked.
"Oh, no…the math major is terribly offended!" Ellis rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah…I suppose that means the nerd thing and the psychotic thing are kinda required for somethin' like that…" I smacked him again.
"You really are an ass, you know that?" He grinned.
"An ass who's right." I rolled my eyes and leaned back on the roof.
"Yeah, yeah, I know…what do you have against Portal anyway?"
"It's hard." I snorted.
"Well, no shit!"
"I was constantly fallin' in acid pits…and that little son-of-a-bitch—"
"Wheatley?"
"Yeah. Him. Annoying little bugger…"
"Just annoying? He tries to kill you!"
"What? You've gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!" I laughed loudly.
"You didn't even make it past the first section?" He reddened.
"Well…no…" I laughed harder. "Oh, c'mon, it ain't that funny." I calmed myself down.
"Okay, okay…sorry…guess we can't all be psychotic nerdy geniuses…"
"I don't recall ever sayin' 'genius'."
"You implied it. Make your peace with it."
A/N: I may or may not expand this with further one shots (more like drabbles). In case anyone's wondering, this takes place in between Swamp Fever and Hard Rain on Virgil's boat. If you enjoyed this, make sure to check out my other L4D stories on my page (oh, and review…I make awesome virtual cookies.)