Disclaimer: Lord of the Flies was a cool book. I mock it cause I like it. It's very crackish, and gets worse as it goes on. Fear my insanity.
"OMG IT BE A SHIPPY," said Piggy the intellectual symbol of society and intelligence. Seeing as he was using chatspeak, you can tell how far everyone had degenerated.
"FIRE!" screamed Ralph, who got two sticks and started rubbing them together really really fast. "Must make fire must make fire must make fire..."
"PIGS!" screamed Jack, who started running around with a spear. "Must kill pigs must kill pigs must kill pigs..."
"You guys are crazy," said Simon's ghost, who had come back to help his former friends. But seeing how stupid they were acting he turned back and sank the rescue ship that was coming. Then he replaced it with a pirate ship.
"The ship changed!" said Samneric.
"No it didn't! Don't be stupid!" said Piggy, and he sat on Samneric and killed him.
Then the pirates arrived. Seeing nothing but a bunch of boys they proceeded to loot them of everything they had. In other words, the conch, Piggy's glasses, spears, and the pig's head.
"Hey, I has a pig's head!" said one of the pirates.
"Let's eat it!" said another one.
So they did. Then they ate the conch and Piggy's glasses and the spears. Then they massacred all the boys.
And they all lived happily ever after. Especially Simon who continued wandering the world dealing out punishment and rewards to those who deserved it.
Piggy also became a ghost, and in the end he went and joined a ghostly freakshow. Samneric was also there as conjoined twins. Jack became a ghost and went around singing C sharp. Ralph became a ghost and ended up carrying the ghost of the conch everywhere and muttering about how it symbolized authority.
And everyone else faded into the background.