Authors Note: Right, so this was originally (and still is) a chapter in my other fic, 'Harry Potter And The Sarcastic Author,' but after many compliments I decided to post it as a new fic!  Basically, pick a word out of those in bold and make your own story!  Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, Hp does not belong to me and sadly I am making no money from this…sniff.

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Hermione's Diary

13th Oct

Dear Diary….

Oh how I love Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree!  Today, I uncharacteristically bunked of Potions and went and met/groped/gave a pumpkin pastry to them by the pond/3rd floor lavatory, gosh it was fun.  But the problem is now I have mixed feeling about them and don't know how to act when they're around!  Help!

 14th Oct

Dearest Diary….

I just had the strangest dream!

Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry transfigured into Lord Voldemort!  This is odd because they lack much/any magical talent!  What does it mean?

15th Oct

My closest, bestest diary friend….

Oh my, you'll never guess what Harry just told me!  He realised that Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry has been brainwashed/eaten by Lord Voldemort!  I must go to the library to research/act smart/eat a pumpkin pastry/kill the librarian immediately!

Also, my feelings for Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree are getting worse!  Today they hugged Ginny/picked their nose/hit a first year and my heart lept!  Please diary, tell me what to do!

16th Oct

Oh dearest diary…

I have just realised I am obsessed with Neville/Hagrid/Harry's Aunt/A pumpkin pastry!!!  This goes beyond my admiration for Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/

Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree! 

I went to the library and found that Harry's right about Voldemort!  My question is Why?/When?/Where?/How does he eat without a face?/Do ants have cable?  Shall have to discuss this tomorrow with Harry.

17th Oct

Diary, fairest of them all….

While in lunch/the common room/the Whomping willow tree/A pumpkin pastry talking to Harry, I saw Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Victor/Umbridge/Scabbers/the Whomping Willow Tree with Pansy/Dumbledore/Snape/Cho and I'm so jealous.  The angst/lunch is rising inside of me.  I'm on my way up to the owlery to write home/kill myself/convert to Islam….. I may be some time.

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Harry's Diary

Dear diary….

It has been 3 days since Sirius died/Cho kissed me/My name got mentioned in assembly/I ate a pumpkin pastry and the sadness is unbearable. Why did I do what I did?  Why?

Hermione has been acting oddly, the other day she bunked out of Potions.  I have a odd feeling she is eating pumpkin pastries/worshipping the grapefruit god/kissing Ron/romping behind the Whomping Willow tree/being possessed by Voldemort and I don't know what to do!  Ron isn't helping the matter by being obsessed by Quiddich/Scabbers/Neville. Help!

Diary…

I feel like I'm being watched/possessed/subconsciously trodden on/eaten and it's scaring me.  Cho/Dumbledore/Hermione/Neville always seems to be around…. I think they want to kiss me/give me a medal/eat me and I don't know what to do! 

Sometimes being a boy hero/15/a geek/subconsciously trodden on is painful and I just want to die/kiss Cho/eat a pumpkin pastry/become heir of Gryffindor/find out what heir of Gryffindor is!

Harry.

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Ok that's it!  What do you think?  Good reviews will earn a place on my thanks list!

Thanks.

The Social Leper :op