Title: Tequila Philosophy
Author: Duck
Summary: "Weiss, do you believe in fate?"
Genre: Angst
Timeline: Post "Reunion", I think. The one where Sydney and Weiss get plastered together.
A/N: This was inspired by a discussion I had today in my English class [which ended up turning into a nasty debate, but I enjoyed it]. Thanks to Kyle for the beta/title help, and for also telling me his opinions on the matter. Mr. Spiziri had to get me all curious about this.
Soundtrack Suggestions: Fallen, The World is On Fire, and Answer by Sarah Mclachlan.
Tequila Philosophy
"Weiss,
do you believe in fate?"
The question catches him off guard; after all, their
drinking-until-you-can't-see-straight sessions were never one to inspire any
philosophical questions. He guesses that she's feeling insightful, and tries to
play along.
He ponders this, stroking his chin exaggeratedly. It is a loaded question, he
realizes, one that could lead to discussions of religion, destiny, and the god
he's not sure exists. His drunken mind can't handle that kind of talk, not
right now. But he also has a feeling that he's not going to be the one doing
the speaking.
"I guess, in moderation," he remembers his days in the hospital,
having nothing to do but think about religion, destiny, and the god he's not
sure exists. "Maybe it was fate for me to get shot that day in Barcelona,
and maybe I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why?"
She sighs and slides her finger around the rim of the shot glass slowly,
pursing her lips. "I used to believe. Before SD-6, I lived my life around
the idea that I was doing what Fate had intended for me to do, and that no
matter how badly I screwed up, I wouldn't be completely to blame. When that man
approached me with his business card, I didn't think it meant anything, but
later, when it continued to cross my mind repeatedly, I knew that I was
supposed to call that man back."
He takes the shot glass from under her hand and pours another shot into it.
Their poison tonight is tequila, and they're just getting started, the bottle
barely a third diminished. She ignores him at first when he slides it
over to her, still staring across the room at a painting he purchased for her
as an apartment warming gift, claiming that it made the room seem bigger.
"I believed as I continued to work for SD-6, because I was protecting my
country from terrorists and other evils. I was so certain that it was my
destiny to save my country." She laughs bitterly, raising the shot to him
in mock toast, and then tilting her head back to receive the stinging liquid.
She slams the shot glass back on the table forcefully, nearly cracking it.
"Would you believe," she whispers, "I held on to that even after
I found out the truth? As much as it hurt, I began to believe that I wasn't supposed
to be with Danny. I guess that began to reiterate when I started to fall for
Vaughn. Suddenly, I was thinking, 'this is what I'm supposed to do. This is why
I was brought to SD-6, so I could take them down." She pauses, as if
unsure she wants to continue, but closes her eyes and finishes the thought.
"I was brought to SD-6 so I could meet Vaughn."
She's beginning to scare him, but he just pours her another shot, which she
downs as soon as he hands it to her, relishing the burning numbness that follows.
"It makes sense, Syd. Sometimes all you have left to hold on to is
fate."
Shaking her head, she tips the tequila bottle precariously towards her glass.
"No." Miraculously she doesn't spill, but her dexterity skills are
far advanced, even when she is plastered. "I realize how stupid that all
was now. It wasn't fate or destiny, or anything else. It just was. End of
story."
He watches her down two more shots in a row, and wonders how long she can go.
The bottle is halfway gone now, most of the contents in her body, contaminating
her organs and mind. He can't seem to come up with a response, so he just nods.
She takes it, and stares off at the picture again.
Suddenly, she's curling up next to him, head on his shoulder, and he puts his
arm around her, holding her steady. The tequila is taking its toll, and it's
not long before she's out cold, still in his embrace. He holds her to him
tightly, knowing exactly why she's given up fate and destiny.
She can't handle the thought that he's destined to be with someone else. She
has to reject her former beliefs, because if everything is determined by fate,
then the universe and every deity known to man hate her. Her life has never
been easy, and it never will be, but right now she's lost everything. Even her beliefs.
So he holds her, hoping that she's right, that everything just is, and
that there is no fate.
Because he hates to think of what Fate will do to her next.