A/N- Well, here's my first attempt at something like this, so here goes nothing. Plus, since it's Eric, there's some really strong language.
Oh! By the way, if somehow I offend anyone over this, I am so sorry. I'm not sure if this could be considered offensive, but I'm really sorry if I stereotype this and it offends.
During initiation, the only time Eric and I ever really talked was to exchange insults and cruel comments and then there were the many fights we had but that was about it. He was that over confident bastard of an Erudite transfer, but thinking back, I have to admit that I felt some sort of... attraction to him even then. I know it's wrong, and if my father had found out he would've surely beat me for it, even though it was out of my control. Hell, if I had known, I'd have beaten the crap out of myself. But I didn't, and things kinda just escalated from there.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"How the hell did he beat me!? He's just a fucking Stiff!"
We just got our final rankings and I got first and Eric got second. Suffice it to say he's not taking it well.
"Well he isn't a Stiff anymore." Zeke argues. He's the closest thing I have to a friend, and he's trustworthy too. But I can't tell him about Marcus, no one can know about him.
And then Eric turns on me with a snarl. "You. You had better watch your fucking back Four, because you will regret this." And with that he storms away.
I watch him storm off and I feel a vague sense of foreboding because I know, it's not a hollow threat.
I regret it already.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Control room? What the hell Four! You could've been a leader!" Lauren yells as we walk out of the room where we just chose our jobs.
"Exactly. And now the freaking sadist is one. You can't really expect me to listen to him." Zeke agrees.
I say nothing. What I don't say is that I'm kinda happy for Eric. He got the job he wanted. And again, I know that that's wrong and he'll do something awful and sadistic as a leader, but I can't find it in myself to care much.
As I turn the corner and split up from Lauren and Zeke, I walk down the hallway to my apartment trying to ignore the confused half-glare from Eric that follows me even after I turn the next corner.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Why?"
I turn around in my chair in the control room to face Eric standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. I knew he was coming this way, I saw it on the monitors. But I had hoped he was just going to go see Max or something and just pass by. I guess I was wrong.
Over the past few weeks since initiation ended, I've noticed things about Eric that I never thought I ever would or even could. We haven't talked much except for him to boss me around, but the few times we've been one together, I noticed things like the fact that he really is quite good looking. His hair is long, and frames his face perfectly. His piercings draw attention to his face and eyes, eyes that are always bright with an almost sadistic glint that should scare me, but instead I find extremely attractive. I snap myself out of my reverie and sigh, turning back around to face the computer monitors. "Why what Eric?"
"Don't just turn around on me Four. I am your leader so face me." He says. I can almost hear the grin in his voice; he loves being able to boss people, especially me, around.
So I don't face him. But my reason for that is because I can't face him without worrying that he might see that I actually care about him. "Why what Eric?" I repeat.
I hear him huff before answering. "Why did you choose this shity job when you could've been a Dauntless leader?"
I didn't expect that. "Why do you care?"
Even with my back turned, I can hear him shuffling around, taking his sweet time about answer the question. It almost makes me want to turn around to face him. "Because I do, ok."
I frown at the screen in front of me. "That's not much of an answer, oh great and mighty leader Eric." I say sarcastically.
I didn't even hear him move, but all of a sudden, my chair is whipped around and Eric's arms are on either side of my head with his face just inches from my own.
"Because I fucking care, ok Four? Or does your great prodigy brain not understand?" He hisses, but I can't stop staring at his lips. Lips I have been thinking about kissing for way too long now.
I bite the inside of my lip hard enough that I taste blood and I look away. He cares? "Yeah, ok. Now get out of my face Eric."
He doesn't budge though. He stays only inches away and it takes everything in me to not close the last few inches and kiss him. "Eric," I growl. "Move." The temptation is killing me. I add silently.
"Nah," He says smirking. "I think I'll stay right here."
I glare at him and shove him in the chest hard enough for him to stumble away from me, but not hard enough to really hurt. "Now, now. No need to get violent."
I say nothing and turn back around to face the monitors. "You still haven't answered my question you know."
"And which question was that again?" I ask typing away to try to keep busy.
"Why didn't you choose to be a Dauntless leader?" He asks quietly.
"Because I didn't want to be a Dauntless leader." I answer simply.
"But why? You could have all this power-"
"Well maybe I'm not power hungry like you!" I almost yell, being at the end of my patience. I spin the chair around to face him and am about to yell some more crap when all of a sudden his lips are on mine and it feels so right, but so wrong. Because is it actually right to care about someone of the same gender this way? Marcus would probably say yes, but I say you don't have control over who you care about, so I'll believe that even though Eric can be a sadistic SOB, this is right.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Wait, wait, wait." Zeke says sitting at the bar beside me. "You and Eric!?"
"Not so loud, would you?" I snap at him. "I don't need the whole compound to know."
"What 'chu talkin 'bout Four? Most of the people here are too drunk to remember where they are, let alone hear that you're gay." He says taking a swig from his beer. "But don't get me wrong, I'm totally fine with that, but really? Eric? Never saw that coming."
"Yeah well we both agreed it'd be for the best if no one knew." I tell him before taking a drink from my beer.
"True, true. Wait, then have you ever thought of e that way?" He asks sounding amused.
I almost choke. "What? No!"
"Oh, damn." Zeke says and he almost looks disappointed. I burst out laughing.
I was so afraid that Zeke wouldn't understand. Lauren and Shauna are my friends I guess, but their acceptance means nowhere near as much as Zeke's does. He's like a brother to me. So when I told him and he seemed perfectly fine with it, I couldn't believe my ears. My father... let's just say he'd try to beat me into being straight. I've been a coward camouflaged in black since I got here, but at least I can be partially me now.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Eric and I have been together for almost a full year now. A new set of initiates are here and according to Lauren and Zeke they're nothing special. Eric and I have kept our relationship a secret. I'm not sure who, if anyone, he's told, but I've only told Zeke.
I've been worried though. One of the initiates turned out to be gay and a couple others were harassing him about it. They repeatedly told him loving another of your own gender was wrong and disturbing. A week after everyone found out he wrote a letter saying that he wasn't sorry about being who he was, but that he was sorry that no one could take it before he left the compound and joined the factionless.
Is loving someone of your own gender wrong? Even... disturbing? I... I'm not sure. But I have to agree with the kid; you shouldn't be sorry for who you love. So if being gay is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
A/N- So what'd you think? This is my first attempt at anything like this, and my good friend Midnight-Solace will also be making a Four/Eric fic, so watch out for that if you liked the idea! Now, I can understand that this might not be your cup o' tea, but to all you 'homophobes' out there, I have one thing to say to you, and it's in the wise words of Morgan Freeman, one of my favourite people in the world, 'It's not homophobia. You're not afraid. You're an asshole.' With that in mind, LOVE YA, NO MATTER WHAT, BYE-BYE!
P.S. On an unrelated note, can you guys check out 'Divergent Thinking' by FantasyWisher? Ok, I'm done.