A/N: I wrote this right after Dan & Blair's first kiss when they showed the promo for the next episode, but never really finished it, so it may seem disjointed. I was very pessimistic at the time and decided to interpret what would happen if the "life-changing kiss" in the promo actually meant Blair did not want to be with Dan (which unfortunately turned out to be what would happen). Well, even in the worst-case scenario, I still think Dair belongs together. Please enjoy and keep in mind that reviews are my drug of choice :)
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
"Ahem, well . . ." the awkward silence ballooned between them.
"Well that's that then," Blair said stepping back.
"So . . ."
"So . . ."
"That settles it," she said quietly.
"I guess it does," Dan agreed, though he wasn't sure what he was agreeing with.
Then the elevator dinged, announcing the arrival of two unwelcome guests.
Quickly, Dan and Blair took three steps away from each other as Chuck and Serena entered the penthouse.
"Blair, we need to talk," Chuck said, taking no notice of a slightly dazed Dan Humphrey standing by the stairway.
"Of course," Blair said, hurriedly taking Chuck's hand and bringing him into the other room.
"Dan?" Serena asked, seeing him standing quietly by the wayside. "I didn't know you were coming over."
Yes! Serena was a perfect excuse for his presence in the Waldorf residence. "I, um, heard about Lily. Is she okay?"
And so began a long speech about the latest dramatically tragic turn in the life of Serena Van der Woodsen.
THAT NIGHT
Dan never thought people actually tossed and turned when they couldn't sleep, but there he was with his sheets knotted around his legs, his body bruised by his struggles to fall asleep. What did Blair mean? Did she feel anything? Did he simply imagine the way her fingers ran up the base of his neck and twisted in between the curls of his hair? His skin still tingled from where she had touched him, still in shock that she had been the one to pull him into the kiss. While she didn't linger long, the feeling she sparked in him was still there.
THE DAY AFTER
Dan and Blair were outside their favorite coffee shop, standing uncomfortably exactly 3 feet away from each other. Blair spoke first. "I kissed someone, it was truly a life-changing experience. That one kiss changed me."
Dan braced for the inevitable follow-up.
"Ours didn't," she stated calmly. "There were no fireworks, the earth didn't move, there are no lingering butterflies, it was just . . . nice."
Dan awkwardly nodded. Anything he said would do him no good. She wanted to dismiss what happened and how could he blame her? She was Blair Waldorf and he was just a boy from Brooklyn.
Yet when he looked at her, he saw the determination in her eyes, a sort of challenge. He straightened his back, realizing that retreating now was not an option. "What's wrong with 'nice'?" he pressed.
Blair gave him a look of exasperation. "You're the writer! Who writes books about a 'nice' kiss? Or sonnets about a so-so peck on the lips? Mediocrity is not the thing most people strive for."
Rubbing his temples with his hand, he sighed. The more he stood there, the more he was being downgraded. "People also write about murder. Just because it's exciting, doesn't mean it's right."
Blair's lips formed a thin line. Her patience was quickly wearing down. Why couldn't he just let it go?
Dan took a step towards her and decided that honesty was the best approach. "We all know that one day you and Chuck will be stuck in an elevator and the claustrophobia will force you to admit your feelings . . . Maybe Chuck will get in a terrible accident and by the mere touch of your hand or the sound of your voice will wake him up from his coma . . . it could be any number of cliché events . . . either way, some day you'll realize you're soulmates, destiny, whatever you want to call it, and this will be over," Dan said, gesturing between them. "So what's the harm in enjoying it while it lasts?"
Before she could interrupt him, and he could tell she wanted to, he quickly added, "Worst case scenario, Blair, we're not friends anymore. Would that be so bad? We weren't friends before and we were fine. Why not take a chance?"
Somewhere along the way, Dan Humphrey had become a confidant, a shoulder to fall asleep on, her banter buddy . . . and dare she say, a friend. Blair didn't want to admit it, but she was not willing to just throw that away. "Waldorfs don't take chances, Humphrey. Chances are for those who have no control over their destiny," Blair huffed, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to work."
LATER THAT AFTERNOON
Blair spent the morning in a foul mood, angry at Dan for making her question herself. Grabbing her phone, she quickly dialed his number. He picked up on the first ring.
"Change your mind?" he asked.
"Not on your life, Humphrey," she growled. "I will have you know that because of you, I was late to my meeting with corporate and now my whole day is off schedule. You have a real gift for ruining my day."
"I try," he smiled, just happy to hear her voice.
"You've been trying to confuse me, make me do things I don't want to do and making me feel like I actually wanted to do them," Blair hissed.
"So you did want to kiss me?" Dan smirked.
Blair's cheeks flamed. "Absolutely not! Stop twisting my words, Humphrey."
Dan sighed. "So we're back to this again?"
"There's nothing there, Humphrey. I mean look at your so-called stories. Where's the drama? The conflict? The push and pull?" she demanded.
"I am pretty sure you're doing enough pushing for the both of us," Dan replied. With that, the conversation was over.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Dan entered the penthouse, summoned by one Blair Cornelia Waldorf for yet another dressing down or her latest evil genius scheme. It had to be one of the two since Dan had long given up hope for another secret rendezvous at the latest museum exhibit.
"Blair?" he called out as he entered the foyer. He ignored the wistful memory of what had last happened in that very spot. Hearing no response he took the stairs up to Blair's room. Seeing the door slightly ajar, he knocked and opened it. To his surprise, Blair was still in her bed despite the fact that it was 11 in the morning and no Waldorf would be caught dead sleeping in. "You called, your highness?" Dan teased her.
Blair looked up and Dan was taken aback by the moist glisten in her eyes. "It took you long enough," she said, though the annoyance in her voice was only half-hearted. She quickly brushed away the remnants of her emotional morning.
"Are you okay?" Dan asked, clearly concerned.
"I'm fine, Humphrey. It's just that time of the month," she lied.
Dan stood uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets. "So why did you call? I was just in the middle of reading the latest review on the-"
"We don't work," Blair blurted out, interrupting the beginnings of a classic Humphrey run-on sentence. Dan felt like he was joining in the middle of this conversation. "You're Brooklyn and I am Upper East Side . . . we can't work."
"Why? Because you're a snob?" Dan said, mostly teasing. Her frustration with the realization that there might be something there clearly amused him.
"No, because you're poor . . . well poorer," Blair replied.
"That's ridiculous, Blair. That's not a reason."
"I hate you, Humphrey, for doing this to me. Everything was fine; we had our secret field trips and our movie nights . . . why couldn't that be enough?" she demanded.
"I didn't choose this, Blair," Dan sighed. "Neither of us did. It just—"
"No, it didn't just happen. You with your black and white films and strangely sophisticated taste in art seduced me!" Blair shouted.
"I—what? I don't think I even know what that means."
"Ever since Thanksgiving, you've been practically stalking me, waiting like some scarf-wearing snake devil, for me to . . ."
"To what, Blair? Lose that high and mighty façade that you love to wear so much?"
"This is me, Humphrey, what you see is what you get." Blair sighed.
"We both know that's not true," Dan insisted. "You are more than just the Queen B of the Upper East Side." He took a step towards her. "You are witty, passionate and driven. You are brutally honest but also the best liar I have ever met. When I am around you, I keep asking myself how someone so beautiful can also be so damn brilliant. You also feel more than you want to admit. You care about people, even when they don't deserve it, sometimes especially those that don't deserve it."
"Stop it!" she cried out, feeling her hands shaking. "You can't say things like that!" She wasn't sure if she was angry, sad, or both. He couldn't do this to her, it wasn't fair. She was not supposed to feel this way . . . she couldn't.
"Why?" he demanded. "This is how I feel about you. Why should I have to pretend otherwise?"
"Do you know what scares me more than anything? What hurts worse than anything?"
He looked at her, wondering where she was going with this.
"Feeling like I am not enough . . . and Serena, even though she's my best friend in the whole world and doesn't mean to, makes me feel that way. If I let you in, if I give you even a little piece of me, I know you will trade it for Serena in a heartbeat." Blair never wanted to say this out loud but if it would stop the madness that was Dan's feelings for her, she had to say it. "Why would I do that to myself? I may be crazy for feeling something for you, but not crazy enough to guarantee my own heartbreak, Humphrey."
"I won't do that to you, Blair," he reassured her. "I could never do that."
"Is that a promise? Can you swear you'll never be stuck in an elevator with her or that she'll never be in a coma or some other randomly clichéd situation where you have to come to the rescue?" Blair questioned. Her hand placed over her chest, she said defeatedly, "I am so tired of being left behind . . . "
Dan could see the battle scars being held bare for him to see. He sat down on the bed beside her and spoke softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't know." He took her hand in his. "Don't you think I'm scared too? You and Chuck are practically a single entity, bound by fate or whatever higher power there is that decides these things. I don't want to get my heart broken either."
Blair stared at their fingers intertwined. It was a strange sensation, this comfort she felt whenever she was near him. "So why do you keep pushing me?"
"Because I am happy—truly happy—when I am around you. I didn't want this, didn't go looking for it, but it is what it is," he confessed. "I like who I am when I am with you. I don't even remember what it was like before we were friends. How could I not see this amazing contradiction that was right in front of me?"
Blair bit her lower lip, unsure of herself and of his words. She couldn't admit that she felt the same. "So why can't we just stay the way we are? Friends is good, friends is safe."
"Then I'll never know, and being the curious writer that I am, I have to know the ending to this story."
"The ending is you and me . . . back with Chuck and Serena."
"Maybe, maybe not." He squeezed her hand and said quickly, "All I know is that this feels right, right now. If we aren't meant to be, so be it."
Blair shook her head. "No." Pulling back her hand, she felt a panic rise in her chest. "You're the only one who gets it, who sees everything. When everything is falling apart, even when it's my fault, you always seem to be there. You don't bring out the worst in me, you keep me from going there. Somewhere along the way, you became the person that balances the crazy in my world. I used to know exactly what I wanted and how to get it. I don't know how that got lost, but when I am around you, it's like everything comes back into focus again."
Dan felt his heart skip a beat, so happy that he could give her that.
Blair closed her eyes tightly almost wanting to hide from what she wanted—no, needed—to say. "Whatever it is between us right now, it's not worth the worst-case scenario." She looked up at him and finally confessed what she had been trying so hard to fight. "I can't lose you."
Dan realized then that he had come to mean to her what she mean to him. She was his complementary piece, his other half. "You won't," he said. "We do work as friends but I think we could work as more than that. I believe in you. You're Blair Waldorf. If this is something you want, it will happen."
Blair leaned against her pillow, feeling her body and her heart give into what her mind warned her away from.
"But if it's not-"
"It is," she realized. Deep down, she had known this since they first started at NYU. Dan was her equal, her other half. He pushed her yet protected her at the same time. He made her remember that she mattered. "I want this. I want to be happy. I want to feel good about who I am. I want all the things that I feel when you're with me. I don't want it to go away."
"No matter what happens, I'm here for you," he said, kissing her forehead. "Even if this goes terribly and it turns out we're no good at it, I am not going anywhere. Do you trust me?"
She finally let herself smile. "Do I have a choice?"
He smiled back. "Not really."
FOUR MONTHS LATER
Blair and Dan were back in her bedroom, lazily planning out their Sunday afternoon.
"I always thought I'd end up married to royalty, or at least be one-half of a couple that was headed towards world-domination," Blair sighed.
"Leaving death and destruction in your wake?" Dan smiled.
"Exactly."
"Sorry to ruin your dream, but we're not that kind of couple," Dan smirked.
"Couple? We're a couple now?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Well at least your dream came true."
"And what dream was that?"
"You're that boy on the other side of the tracks who always dreams of finding that perfect girl . . . you know what happens to boys like that," Blair replied. "But does anyone think maybe that perfect girl might also want a perfect boy?"
Dan shook his head. "Boys from the other side of the tracks usually end up with the girl next door with a white picket fence, not the future Editor-in-Chief of Vogue."
Blair smiled, gazing up at him. Seeing the adoration in his eyes, she couldn't help but confess, "I'm happy. Really happy."
Dan couldn't smile any brighter at that. "So are you admitting I was right about us?"
Blair smirked. "Fine, you were right. But just this once, Humphrey."