This is my first fanfic ever! I've been reading them for years and I finally decided to publish my own
Please review and critique! Thank you
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. (I wish I did)
The song is Lullaby in Blue by Bette Midler- I don't own it!
Enjoy! And please give me feedback!
Lullaby in Blue
Quinn Fabray was back. She could feel the stares on her back as she walked down the hallway, people parting for her. It felt good to be back on top of the school and the cheerleading pyramid. She adjusted her skirt and tightened her ponytail when she stopped at her locker. She loved being back in her Cheerio's uniform. An arm snaked around her waist, squeezing her hip gently.
She smiled up at her boyfriend, Sam Evans. "Hey," he grinned, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
Quinn's cheeks smiled against his large lips. Sam took the books away from her and grabbed her hand. They headed towards glee club.
Quinn couldn't help but notice the jealous glares of her fellow peers. She understood why they were jealous. How could they not be? she thought, smiling to herself. She nodded at Sam, he was jabbering on about football practice. Her mind couldn't help but wander off into distance thoughts. Sam talked too much, and she could only listen for so long. She smiled at him again, and gently touched her own cheek with her free hand. Sometimes she felt like she was smiling so much it hurt. All of her smiles were real though, she often told herself. So it was alright to smile that much. As long as they were true smiles. And of course hers were, she often thought. Why wouldn't they be?
Quinn saw her former best friend, Santana Lopez, leaning against a locker. She had her hands on her hips, she always had an attitude. She was talking to someone around the corner. Santana didn't look happy. As Quinn and Sam walked past, however, she smirked at Quinn. Her eyes remained on Quinn as she said hello to Sam and turned her attention back towards whoever she was talking to.
Quinn and Sam turned the corner, and she saw him. He was the only one who could make her perfect smile falter and brighten at the same time. She couldn't look at him. Just one look at his face would flood her mind with memories. Memories of a childhood friendship. Memories of a mohawk. Memories of wine coolers. Memories of a secret kept hidden from their friends. Memories of feelings she tried to repress. But most importantly, memories of a beautiful baby girl. Memories Quinn so desperately tried to forget.
Quinn tried to shake these thoughts as she entered Glee club hand-in hand with Sam. They took their usual seats in the middle row, still holding hands as Mr. Schuester strolled in happily. Artie, Kurt, Mike, and Tina were already seated in their normal chairs, Kurt twiddling his thumbs. Rachel stormed in, yelping something about Barbra Streisand, Finn trailing behind her like a tall, gangly puppy. Mercedes walked in, rolling her eyes at Rachel. Brittany and Santana skipped in, pinkies linked. As Santana passed Quinn, her lips curled into a slick grin. Finally, he walked in. Quinn averted her eyes away from him and she felt his eyes beating down on her as he took his seat in the back row.
After everyone was settled in, and Rachel stopped complaining, Mr. Schuester clapped his hands and asked if anyone had a song prepared. They all looked at Rachel, waiting for her to leap up. Surprisingly, Santana stood up, slowly. "Mr. Schuester," she said, smirking, "I've got one ready."
Mr. Shuester nodded excitedly, eager to see her enthusiasm. "Let's hear it, Santana. Take it away."
Santana positioned herself in the front of everyone, and smiled. Brittany let out a small "woo" and Santana winked at her. As she opened her mouth, she shot Quinn one last death stare. She began to sing:
I know that I'm no saint.
My head is in the clouds.
They called you a mistake,
but I still, I still say your name out loud.
They called me a stupid girl,
just like my mom.
Too many men passed through my arms.
At seventeen I looked into your eyes,
knew I could never comfort your cries.
Every April still reminds me of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.
It all goes by so fast.
How lovely you must be.
Why you've reached the age at last
that I was when your daddy lived with me.
How I wish we could meet somewhere,
talk it through.
There is so much I would say to you.
There are others, I'm not alone.
A younger brother you've never known,
and a baby girl who so reminds me of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.
As the years go by,
try not to think of us sadly.
Believe it if you can,
I wanna see you so badly.
On your birthday, Mama's thinking of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.
My lullaby in blue.
My lullaby . . .
Quinn could not believe her ears. She sat in horror as Santana happily belted out the song. As if answering her silent prayer, Mr. Schuester silenced Santana. Quinn stared at the floor tiles, counting them, trying to think of anything besides what was happening. She finally looked up and immediately she wished she hadn't.
Santana had a smug smirk on her face, hands on her hip. Her eyes narrowed as Quinn looked at her. Quinn turned away from her and her eyes examined Sam's puzzled expression, although he was not meeting her glance. She looked around the room; no one seemed to want to make eye contact with her, except Santana's unwavering glare. She wanted to leave but her feet seemed rooted to the ground.
The silence in the room was becoming overwhelming. She blinked hard and turned her head again. She saw him. He was sitting in the back row, his fists clenched. His eyes immediately locked onto hers. She couldn't bear it. She ran out of the room and into the nearest bathroom.
It wasn't until she had slunk down against the wall of a stall that she realized that warm salty tears were streaming down her face. Everything hurt. She couldn't catch her breath and every time she tried she just swallowed tears.
It was only about a minute later when Quinn heard the bathroom door open. She heard footsteps coming towards the stall. She tried to stop crying, but the tears kept coming. His voice stopped the tears. "Quinn?" he asked, his voice nearly a whisper.
She unlocked the stall and looked up at him. She thought about the last words he had spoken to her 'Yes, especially now.' She had tried to forget.
Quinn wiped her eyes and pushed past him, washing her hands and face. She looked in the mirror, her mascara running and cheeks tear stained. Her puffy eyes looked past her own reflection at him. He was looking at her, hands shoved in his pockets. She saw him open his mouth to speak and she whirled around quickly to face him.
It was the first time she had really looked into his eyes again since that fateful afternoon in the hospital. She tried to ignore his look, begging her to speak to him. Finally, she obliged. "What?" she hissed.
He took a step back, obviously hurt by her tone. "I wanted to check on you. Santana's a bitch. That was-"
"I'm fine," she piped, cutting him off.
He hung his head, and barely audibly whispered, "You didn't look it, Quinn."
She turned back to the mirror and tightened her ponytail. She wiped away the makeup smeared by her tears. Quinn headed for the door, not looking at him. When her fingers curled around the door handle, he spoke again, this time loud enough for her to hear.
"You don't have to be fine. I'm not fine."
Quinn closed her eyes firmly and tightened her grip on the handle as he continued.
"I don't know about you," he started to slowly walk towards her, "But I feel pretty shitty...all the time."
Quinn couldn't bring herself to pull open the door handle or to turn around.
"I miss her, Quinn. I miss our daughter. Our Beth."
Quinn dropped her hand from the door handle and slowly turned around facing him. His eyes were glossy and red. She lifted her hand to brush aside a piece of hair only to feel her own damp cheeks and eyes.
"I miss her so much. And if it's even possible, I miss you even more."
Quinn stepped towards him, tears softly falling from both of their eyes. She slowly reached one hand out towards him and put it on his cheek, wiping away a tear.
"I wanted to talk to you, Quinn. But-but that blonde fruitcake suddenly appeared."
Quinn let out a soft chuckle as she stroked his cheek.
"I love Beth and miss her so much. And let's be serious, babe, I'm broken. You're broken. And that big mouth beach bum can't fix you. But me? I can. And you can fix me. And, Quinn, I'm in love with you."
Quinn bit her lip and her hands on his forearms. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, nuzzling his face in her hair.
All of the memories from last year swamped back to her. Not thinking about Beth was torture. Not talking or looking at him was even worse. She felt like she could breathe again in his arms. Just saying his name put pieces of her shattered heart back together.
"I love you too, Puck."