Sirius Black Is Manly! (And The One Time He Wasn't.)
by TimeAndLife21
Sirius usually doesn't need help for things sometimes. He knows he's plenty smart. He just chooses not to study sometimes. Yeah sure, he would forget his pants every once in a while trying to get to class when he wakes up late (Thanks a lot James!), and he would do his homework at the very last minute, and stay up most of the night planning pranks on Snape. But he can do it on his own when he really puts his mind to it.
He was also egotistical sometimes. But hey, a good looking man like him deserves to have his ego stroked. Especially if it's a cute curvy Hufflepuff girl he was snogging with in a broom closet. He played quidditch and was a beater. The muscles he had from hitting the bludgers gained him many swooning fangirls. Being an athlete really does pay off. He was very much aware how attractive he was; being a member of the Black family, he was aristocratic, with a handsome face, black hair, and eyes the color of silver. On top of that, he was a man. Yup. He was a definite manly man.
Unfortunately tonight was not the night that he could pull of the manly man act. It was late at night when he finally went to bed and was trying to fall asleep. Next thing he knew, something was skittering around on his bed sheets. He opened up his eyes and looked down and noticed that there was a spider on his bed. Now, normally he wouldn't care for spiders, but ever since he saw that muggle movie thing with James last summer about giant spiders terrorizing cities…he became wary of them.
This spider looked huge. Probably about the size of half his index finger. Hesitantly he spoke up, hope that at least Remus was awake at this time night.
"Remus…" He said quietly.
No answer.
He tried again.
"Remus!" He said louder.
"What, Siri?" Remus said groggily.
"Are you awake?" Sirius said as the spider was doing a stare down at him.
He was starting to get anxious as the spider was not. freaking. moving. It was staring into his soul.
"I'm awake now. What?" Remus said as he turned over in his bed, not wanting to get up and move, as it had been two days since his 'Furry Little Problem".
"Will you kill this spider for me?" Sirius managed to squeak out.
Was it coming closer? It looked like it was coming closer.
"Is it trying to hurt you, Siri?" Remus asked tiredly.
"It's on my bed and it's coming towards me." He blurted out.
Why was it MOVING TOWARDS HIS FACE?!
Sirius never heard the small voice that came from James Potter.
"Engorgio."It was spoken softly, but the spider suddenly tripled in size.
Next thing that happened should never be spoken of again.
Shrieks of Horror echoed throughout the castle.
Those who were snogging in broom closets were pulled apart in fright, prefects thought that there was a banshees dwelling in Hogwarts halls, a few teachers and students who were light sleepers shot up in their beds at the sounds, wondering where it came from. Even the animals and Centaurs in the Forbidden forest suddenly looked in the direction of the shrieking screams that came from the ever illustrious Hogwarts.
"SWEET MERLIN! GET IT OFF OF ME! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"
Sirius was running around the dorm room shaking his body and rolling on the ground trying to get the spider off of him.
James Potter was practically on the floor laughing so hard, tears fell from his eyes. Remus was trying to calm down Sirius, which wasn't working because he too was laughing...just not as hard. Seeing that the spider was actually a fake spider that James had transfigured from a Bertie Bott's card, it was practically harmless. But that didn't stop Sirius from freaking out even more.
Peter slept through the entire fiasco.
Finally Sirius grabbed the transfigured spider and threw it into James' face. It shut him up real quick.
"WHAT THE HELL JAMES?" Sirius was red with part anger and part mortified.
"I wanted to see how you reacted, and might I say Siri, that you reacted beautifully."James laughed as he reversed the spell on the transfigured card.
The next day in the Great Hall there were rumors about a banshee that was probably sneaking around in the halls. Sirius thanked Merlin that the rumors were all about Banshees instead of him. His reputation was on the line. He had screamed like a little girl and it was embarrassing. James Potter was sporting a black eye, but he was snickering all the while.
"Now, now Sirius, at least we know the prank worked." Remus said cheerfully.
"Shut up Mooney." Sirius said as he tiredly ate his food.
"Well, on the bright side, we can refer you as 'Banshee' now." James chuckled.
From then on, Sirius warded his bed from spiders and other creepy crawlies that move in the night.
So he lost his manlyness for one night, it wasn't a big deal… he got even with James when he put an actual scorpion in James' bed. Revenge has never been so sweet.
TAL21: Well, Here is another Tumblr inspired oneshot featuring the Marauders. This time Sirius get's pranked by James by using a fake spider. Actually It was also inspired by my nephew as well, surprisingly. My Sister in law had a fake spider and she tossed it over to him freaking him out a little but all that came out was small horrified noises that came from him which i call 'Controlled Panic'. I was laughing so hard. XD So, here you go! Enjoy this little one shot! Please leave reviews and opinion please! :D I'll see you in the next one shot! :D
KEEP ON READING AND WRITING! :D