~*RIVENDELL*~
"You nine shall be 'The Fellowship of the Ring'!" says Elrond.
"Right!" says Pippin, contently. "Where are we going?"
~*MORIA*~ (sorry, I skipped a bit)
"Gandalf, I think there's someone following us!" says Eloijah.
"It's Gollum!" says Gandalf, lighting his pipe. "He's been following us for three days!"
"You know, you should really stop smoking- it's bad for you!"
Gandalf got up and walked away.
"HEY!" shouts Eloijah. "I WAS TALKING TO YOU!" Gandalf doesn't answer. Then there are noises.
"Orcs!" gasps Legolas. Eloijah takes out his sword, Sting, but it isn't blue.
"It can't be!" says Eloijah. "My sword isn't blue!"
"Then what is it?" says Aragorn.
Eight figures slowly come into view.
Gandalf turns around. "I'm sorry, Frodo," he says, putting his hand on one of their shoulders. "I just have a mad obsession with tobacco."
"I'm not Frodo!" says the creature. It's a human, Helen T.
"You're not??" says Gandalf. "But... but the hair! And the eyes!"
"Frodo is over there," says Helen T, pointing at Eloijah. "I'm Helen T by the way, but you can call me Smellen or Smelly or Eloijah or Frodo or Lil Nicky or Lil Helen or Lil Imi or Thommy or Tommy or Stultus or Stultissimus or just Helen if you want."
"Right..." says Gandalf slowly. "Who are these, then?" he asks, gesturing to the other creatures.
"Oh, these are Mariam, Helen M, Melissa, Juliet, Ceara, Annalise, Maria and Clare!"
Gandalf looks at Clare. "It's Legolas!" he gasps.
Legolas turns around, at the mention of his name. "Whadda you want?!" he shouts.
"Over here, quick!" says Gandalf, and Legolas does a Matrix and lands in front of him. Gandalf makes him stand next to Clare and everyone gasps.
"They're identical!" says Gimli.
Gandalf looks at Gimli and then at Ceara. "So are you two!" he says.
He then says to Helen T, "Are you the master of these creatures?"
"Er... Sure, why not!" says Helen T.
Gandalf bends down to talk to Helen M. "So, little Hobbit," he begins.
"Hang on!" says Helen M, indignantly. "I'm not a Hobbit! I'm just a bit small! I hate you, Gaygolf!"
"Er, sorry about her," says Mariam, quietly. "She's just a little conscientious about her height!"
"And... Gaygolf?" Gandalf prompts.
"Oh yeah, that," says Ceara. "It's just a little joke in a one-word story that me and Helen T wrote."
"OK," says Gandalf, and he walks over to Helen M who is sulking in a corner. "I'm sorry, Helen M. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He holds out his hand to shake hers. "Friends?"
"OK, whatever," says Helen M, grumpily.
"Good," says Gandalf and he stands up.
Meanwhile, Helen T and Juliet are talking to Eloijah. Eloijah is offering an acting job in LOTR to Helen.
"Yeah, I'd love to!" says Helen.
"But what about school," interjects Juliet.
"Oh yeah," says Helen. "If I go to New Zealand, I won't be able to give Latin Insults to Patty."
"Who's Patty?" asks Eloijah.
Suddenly there's a big bang and screaming as two creatures run past them and jump on Boromir.
"THAT'S Patty," says Helen T. "The one in the pink top."
Eloijah looks over to the two women hugging and trying to kiss Boromir.
"Why are they so obsessed with Boromir?"
"Oh, they fancy Sean Bean," says Juliet.
"I don't think they do anymore," says Helen T to Juliet. "They're more into Colin Firth now."
"Oh," says Juliet. "Then why are they hugging and kissing Sean Bean?"
"Dunno," says Helen T. "Let's go and ask them."
They walk over to them. "Hey, Patty," says Helen T. She doesn't respond. "Patty!!... Foy!... HEY, STULTISSIMUS!" She pulls Patty's hair.
"Ow!" says Patty, responding at last. "What was that for?"
Helen T shrugs. "You weren't listening." She says.
"How come you're all over Sean Bean if you like Colin Firth now?" asks Juliet.
The other woman looks up. It's Maxy! "That's old news," she says. "It was sooooo last week."
"Yeah," agrees Patty. "Now we're back on Seany!"
Helen T and Juliet's mouths are wide open. "You're acting like such teenagers!" says Juliet.
"Well, we were teenagers ten years ago," sighs Patty. "HEY! HE'S GETTING AWAY!"
She points at Boromir, who is quietly walking to the exit. Patty and Maxy run after him and he starts running as well, but as he's not wearing running gear, and as Patty and Maxy volunteer for the staff netball match every time there is one, they catch him easily.
"You're not getting away that easily!" says Maxy.
Annalise, Ceara and Mariam are meanwhile talking to Gandalf about the quest.
"Wow!" says Annalise, when Gandalf is finished. "Can I join the fellowship?"
"And me!" says Ceara.
"And me!" says Mariam.
Gandalf calls everyone together, apart from Boromir, who can't get away from Patty and Maxy.
"I would like to invite all these eight humans to join 'The Fellowship of the Ring'!"
They all have a little mini meeting and then Helen T says to Gandalf, "We have conversed and decided to join the Fellowship!"
Everyone cheers.
"Sorry, but Patty and Maxy have to join if we're joining," says Juliet.
Boromir groans.
"Well, looks like we're going to have to go and destroy the ring!" says Gandalf. They make their way to the bridge, but the orcs start chasing them and trying to shoot them. Legolas keeps shooting his arrows at them and miracously getting perfect aim .
Finally, everyone is over the bridge but Gandalf. Fire Breathing Thingy (aka FBT) is trying to get over, but Gandalf is yelling "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Eloijah is looking real bad because Gandalf is going to die and everyone else is biting their nails.
At last, after about 5 "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"es, Gandalf gets rid of FBT and sighed. He's about to walk off to the others, but then he gets thrown off the bridge by FBT's whip.
As he's hanging off by his fingertips, he looks at them all and said, "Fly, you fools!" And is gone.
Eloijah shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Mariam says, "Hey, how dare he call me a fool!" They all make for the exit. Eloijah has to be carried cos he's crying to much (baby...).
According to Aragorn, the hilltop will be swarming with orcs by nightfall and they must get to Lothlorien a.s.a.p.
"Give them a minute, for pity's sake!" shouts Boromir.
But Aragorn will not.
Eloijah has walked off. Helen T shouts, "Hey, Eloijah! Get your arse over here!" She walks up to him. "You know, I heard that in the next movie, Gandalf comes back!"
"Really?!" says Eloijah, brightening. "Wow!"
"Oh hurry up!" says Aragorn, who has taken the role of Gandalf. "We have to go and destroy the ring!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
"You nine shall be 'The Fellowship of the Ring'!" says Elrond.
"Right!" says Pippin, contently. "Where are we going?"
~*MORIA*~ (sorry, I skipped a bit)
"Gandalf, I think there's someone following us!" says Eloijah.
"It's Gollum!" says Gandalf, lighting his pipe. "He's been following us for three days!"
"You know, you should really stop smoking- it's bad for you!"
Gandalf got up and walked away.
"HEY!" shouts Eloijah. "I WAS TALKING TO YOU!" Gandalf doesn't answer. Then there are noises.
"Orcs!" gasps Legolas. Eloijah takes out his sword, Sting, but it isn't blue.
"It can't be!" says Eloijah. "My sword isn't blue!"
"Then what is it?" says Aragorn.
Eight figures slowly come into view.
Gandalf turns around. "I'm sorry, Frodo," he says, putting his hand on one of their shoulders. "I just have a mad obsession with tobacco."
"I'm not Frodo!" says the creature. It's a human, Helen T.
"You're not??" says Gandalf. "But... but the hair! And the eyes!"
"Frodo is over there," says Helen T, pointing at Eloijah. "I'm Helen T by the way, but you can call me Smellen or Smelly or Eloijah or Frodo or Lil Nicky or Lil Helen or Lil Imi or Thommy or Tommy or Stultus or Stultissimus or just Helen if you want."
"Right..." says Gandalf slowly. "Who are these, then?" he asks, gesturing to the other creatures.
"Oh, these are Mariam, Helen M, Melissa, Juliet, Ceara, Annalise, Maria and Clare!"
Gandalf looks at Clare. "It's Legolas!" he gasps.
Legolas turns around, at the mention of his name. "Whadda you want?!" he shouts.
"Over here, quick!" says Gandalf, and Legolas does a Matrix and lands in front of him. Gandalf makes him stand next to Clare and everyone gasps.
"They're identical!" says Gimli.
Gandalf looks at Gimli and then at Ceara. "So are you two!" he says.
He then says to Helen T, "Are you the master of these creatures?"
"Er... Sure, why not!" says Helen T.
Gandalf bends down to talk to Helen M. "So, little Hobbit," he begins.
"Hang on!" says Helen M, indignantly. "I'm not a Hobbit! I'm just a bit small! I hate you, Gaygolf!"
"Er, sorry about her," says Mariam, quietly. "She's just a little conscientious about her height!"
"And... Gaygolf?" Gandalf prompts.
"Oh yeah, that," says Ceara. "It's just a little joke in a one-word story that me and Helen T wrote."
"OK," says Gandalf, and he walks over to Helen M who is sulking in a corner. "I'm sorry, Helen M. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He holds out his hand to shake hers. "Friends?"
"OK, whatever," says Helen M, grumpily.
"Good," says Gandalf and he stands up.
Meanwhile, Helen T and Juliet are talking to Eloijah. Eloijah is offering an acting job in LOTR to Helen.
"Yeah, I'd love to!" says Helen.
"But what about school," interjects Juliet.
"Oh yeah," says Helen. "If I go to New Zealand, I won't be able to give Latin Insults to Patty."
"Who's Patty?" asks Eloijah.
Suddenly there's a big bang and screaming as two creatures run past them and jump on Boromir.
"THAT'S Patty," says Helen T. "The one in the pink top."
Eloijah looks over to the two women hugging and trying to kiss Boromir.
"Why are they so obsessed with Boromir?"
"Oh, they fancy Sean Bean," says Juliet.
"I don't think they do anymore," says Helen T to Juliet. "They're more into Colin Firth now."
"Oh," says Juliet. "Then why are they hugging and kissing Sean Bean?"
"Dunno," says Helen T. "Let's go and ask them."
They walk over to them. "Hey, Patty," says Helen T. She doesn't respond. "Patty!!... Foy!... HEY, STULTISSIMUS!" She pulls Patty's hair.
"Ow!" says Patty, responding at last. "What was that for?"
Helen T shrugs. "You weren't listening." She says.
"How come you're all over Sean Bean if you like Colin Firth now?" asks Juliet.
The other woman looks up. It's Maxy! "That's old news," she says. "It was sooooo last week."
"Yeah," agrees Patty. "Now we're back on Seany!"
Helen T and Juliet's mouths are wide open. "You're acting like such teenagers!" says Juliet.
"Well, we were teenagers ten years ago," sighs Patty. "HEY! HE'S GETTING AWAY!"
She points at Boromir, who is quietly walking to the exit. Patty and Maxy run after him and he starts running as well, but as he's not wearing running gear, and as Patty and Maxy volunteer for the staff netball match every time there is one, they catch him easily.
"You're not getting away that easily!" says Maxy.
Annalise, Ceara and Mariam are meanwhile talking to Gandalf about the quest.
"Wow!" says Annalise, when Gandalf is finished. "Can I join the fellowship?"
"And me!" says Ceara.
"And me!" says Mariam.
Gandalf calls everyone together, apart from Boromir, who can't get away from Patty and Maxy.
"I would like to invite all these eight humans to join 'The Fellowship of the Ring'!"
They all have a little mini meeting and then Helen T says to Gandalf, "We have conversed and decided to join the Fellowship!"
Everyone cheers.
"Sorry, but Patty and Maxy have to join if we're joining," says Juliet.
Boromir groans.
"Well, looks like we're going to have to go and destroy the ring!" says Gandalf. They make their way to the bridge, but the orcs start chasing them and trying to shoot them. Legolas keeps shooting his arrows at them and miracously getting perfect aim .
Finally, everyone is over the bridge but Gandalf. Fire Breathing Thingy (aka FBT) is trying to get over, but Gandalf is yelling "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Eloijah is looking real bad because Gandalf is going to die and everyone else is biting their nails.
At last, after about 5 "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"es, Gandalf gets rid of FBT and sighed. He's about to walk off to the others, but then he gets thrown off the bridge by FBT's whip.
As he's hanging off by his fingertips, he looks at them all and said, "Fly, you fools!" And is gone.
Eloijah shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Mariam says, "Hey, how dare he call me a fool!" They all make for the exit. Eloijah has to be carried cos he's crying to much (baby...).
According to Aragorn, the hilltop will be swarming with orcs by nightfall and they must get to Lothlorien a.s.a.p.
"Give them a minute, for pity's sake!" shouts Boromir.
But Aragorn will not.
Eloijah has walked off. Helen T shouts, "Hey, Eloijah! Get your arse over here!" She walks up to him. "You know, I heard that in the next movie, Gandalf comes back!"
"Really?!" says Eloijah, brightening. "Wow!"
"Oh hurry up!" says Aragorn, who has taken the role of Gandalf. "We have to go and destroy the ring!"
TO BE CONTINUED...