The characters belong to Takanaga Hinako.

chapter 5 of volume 7 made me pissed. Souichi hurt Morinaga so much. Morinaga finally got the message of what Souichi was saying the whole time. i feel like the only person who actually had it together was Masaki! Gah! SO as a result of my anger, i wrote this. Its kinda a quick overview of what happened in Morinaga's eyes.

Senpai wasn't jealous—never was.

He wasn't angry at the thought of Masaki stealing him away; he just didn't want him to get tangled in that crap again. But it wasn't like he could just leave Masaki alone when they never really had the chance to say goodbye.

Senpai never wanted sex, nor did he want Morinaga's heart, despite the fact that he already had both.

It wasn't fair. Why did he lead him on? When their bodies were joined together it was like nothing else. And Senpai did everything he could to keep Morinaga by his side. Didn't that mean something? Why did he have to fall for this so persistently straight man? Why was he forced to feign this friendship for so long when friendship wasn't even close to what he wanted?

And what about the job offer? He had told the professor that he wanted the job, but still needed a little more time to think about it. He needed more time to ask Senpai's opinion. But suddenly, Senpai was screaming in his face about it, so angry about keeping it from him, angry about having to find out from someone else. It wasn't like he had intentionally hid it from him! But Senpai didn't listen, didn't want the extra support because he could handle it himself. All Morinaga wanted was something to connect them, but Senpai had made it sound so ugly…

And when he had admitted to wanting to be life partners—something he could only dream of telling him before—Senpai threw that back in his face too! Did real partners lie? Did real partners keep important information from each other? No! And while Morinaga should have been nearly ecstatic about the fact that Senpai wasn't yelling about how he wasn't a homo, he was way too distracted by the sound of his heart breaking.

It sounded a lot like Senpai's voice.

The final straw broke when he told him that he never wanted the sex. That wasn't true, was it? Sure, he forced him in the beginning, but it grew into something else didn't it? Senpai need him that way, didn't he? What about love hotel, or after the fire, or just a few nights ago when a simple kiss led to a morning of pleasure? He wanted it those times didn't he?

The proof was in those semi-healed scratches etched into his back. They were a reminder that Senpai was perfectly capable of holding him, wanting him... Truthfully, they were a lot like the man who gave them—painful, but he wanted them there.

"Get a hold of your love filled brain" he had said.

The scream had echoed throughout the apartment as he remained silent. His chest hurt, his chin trembled, and there was that huge lump of something terrible lodged in his throat. He wasn't going to cry in front of Senpai, wasn't going to give him that satisfaction—or any more satisfaction at all. With the pain finally seeping in, he turned and left to find Masaki's shocked face only a few feet away. But he couldn't handle that right now. It was already too much.

Finding an empty park, he slumped down onto a bench and let the tears fall and the sobs rattle his body. The illusion was shattered. There was no love in Senpai's heart. He had made it all up. Maybe he really did need to get a hold of his love filled brain.

He had made the same mistake. He had fallen in love with someone who never loved him back.

Well, he wasn't going to make that mistake again.

"Why bother with love and all that jazz?" It only hurt. It always hurt.

Living with Senpai was painful before, only because he constantly had to hold back—but it was what he wanted. It was better than any other option. But living there now, when he knew he would never win his heart? That would be unbearable. He could not stay. He would leave tomorrow.

As the decision solidified in his head, he heard the steady footsteps, the broken breath. He looked up into that familiar face, heard that familiar voice call his name. It wasn't who he expected.

"There you are..."