"Here it comes
The unavoidable sun weighs my head,
And what the hell have I done,
And you know,
I don't remember a thing
I don't remember
A thing"
-"The Sun", The Naked and Famous
After (Part I)
60 hrs
"Honestly, this is most demoralizing thing that has ever happened to me," Harvey said, as he watched his brother cut up his food.
"Seriously?" Marcus chuckled, and then stole bite of Harvey's eggs. "Big brother, for someone so self-important such as yourself, I believe you."
Harvey mock glared at Marcus.
"Give me the fork," he demanded as he held his hand out. Marcus wordlessly handed him the fork as Harvey snatched it from him.
Silently, Harvey struggled to eat with his left hand as his brother watched him. He put down his fork, to pick up his toast, then put that down to drink his juice, and then sat that down to put his fork back up. Luckily, Marcus cut his food into small pieces or eating food would've been a challenge that he doubted he'd won.
"What," he snapped at his younger brother. "Why are you staring at me?"
"Why'd you break your hand," he asked directly.
"I don't want to talk about it," he dismissed. In frustration, Harvey stabbed the sausage on his plate, and then put it in his mouth.
Marcus shrugged. "I don't care, big bro," he declared. "You broke your hand and now I've gotta help take care of you for six weeks. That takes me away from valuable time with my wife and kids."
"Well, don't let me impose," he said. "I'll just hire someone since I'm such a burden."
At this, Marcus glared at his brother. "Cut the bullshit, Reginald." Harvey flinched at the use of his middle name. He knew Marcus said it to piss him off. "I don't mind helping of you, but I want to know why you broke your own hand. We don't see each other as often as we should, but I sure as hell know that you don't just punch shit for no reason."
Harvey glanced at his plaster cast, which rested in a sling.
"And you must've been really upset to break your fucking right hand," he stated. "So tell me, why'd you break it?"
Stubbornly, Harvey remained silent as he continued eating his food. He did the math on how much it'd take to hire a nurse to come in the morning and help him get ready for work. Money was nothing for him, but he'd rather think about that than talk to Marcus about what happened with Donna.
"Hell, why am I even bothering," Marcus said. "I'll just call Donna and ask."
No," Harvey basically shouted. Panic radiated from his eyes, but anger was also present on his face. After a moment, he admitted, "Donna left me."
"What?" Marcus tried to process what he just heard. "She…quit?"
That didn't sound like Donna. Although he saw Donna less than he did his brother, from what he's seen and even what he's heard about her, Donna was loyal to his Harvey to a fault. She'd do anything for him and put no one above him. It was a fact that she was unapologetic about.
"Yes and no," he said. "She left me to work for Louis."
Marcus raised an eyebrow. "As in Louis Litt?"
"Yes," Harvey confirmed.
"The same Louis Litt whose been dying for your approval and respect," he questioned.
"Yes," Harvey confirmed again. "The one and only."
"The same Louis Litt who is jealous of you and wants what you have," he asked.
"Yes," Harvey answered, this time in annoyance. "No matter how many questions you ask me—it'll still be the same Louis Litt."
Marcus leaned back in his chair as the words finally hit him. "But, Louis, of all people; her quitting altogether is a better alternative than her leaving to work for Louis." With concerned, he asked his brother, "Did she say why she left?"
Harvey looked down at the table. "I'm not talking about it. You asked me why I broke my hand answered you. Let's leave it at that."
"Fine," Marcus said as he ate off of his own plate. "But, if you keep bottling up all of your emotions, one day you're going to burst."
"Thanks, Dr. Phil." Harvey gave a tight lipped smile, and then sipped his juice.
Marcus groaned. "I'm serious, Harvey. All this repression shit—compartmentalizing everything so you don't have to deal with it isn't good for you." He gestured to Harvey's hand as he spoke, "You broke your fucking hand for Christ sakes all because you don't know how to express yourself."
"Like I said, I'm not talking about this." Harvey ignored his brother as he continued eating.
"Don't you have work today," Harvey asked his brother as he channel surfed.
"Don't you," he shot back.
Harvey nodded at Marcus as if to say, 'Touché.'
"I called Jessica and told her I wasn't coming in to," Harvey explained.
"Was she surprised?" Jessica was a Grade-A workaholic like Harvey and it wasn't often when he took off work. Even Marcus was surprised that Harvey decided to stay at his home instead of going to work.
Harvey smiled. "Yeah," he confirmed. "She's used to me coming in late, but not completely taking the day off unless it's to see dad."
"When's the last time you saw him?"
Although Gordon Specter's death was pretty devastating for the two siblings, Harvey took it the hardest. Harvey went from keeping his emotions guarded to bottling them up completely. He used to be somewhat carefree and would smile frequently. Now, the weight of the world seemed to be on his shoulders and his face gave away nothing.
"A while ago, he said. "Actually, I was planning to visit him soon."
Marcus nodded.
"How about we go see him today," the younger sibling offered.
"Now?"
"Yeah," he confirmed. "Why not?"
Harvey gave the idea some thought, and then looked at Marcus. "Okay," he said slowly.
Twenty minutes later, they were on the road.
As Marcus drove, Marvin Gaye's What's Going On softly played throughout the car.
"So, how'd you break ya hand," Marcus asked, as he looked at the road.
Harvey groaned. "Marcus, let it go," he warned.
Marcus looked at Harvey's arm, and then back at the road. "Harvey, you have two options: the quick and painless way or the hard way. Either tell me now and get it out of the way OR tell me later, but after I pester you nonstop."
Harvey was quiet for so long that Marcus that his brother ignored him. "The night that Donna left…I got drunk at a bar. I don't know how long I was there. All I remember is getting kicked out after punching a guy. At the time, I didn't realize I broke my hand. I thought I just hurt it or some shit. I kinda wandered around Manhattan aimlessly for a while and to clear my head, but I couldn't stop thinking about Donna. I couldn't get her out of my head. And I was so angry—at her, at myself that something snapped in me and I punched a brick wall."
"Oww," Marcus mouthed, as he visibly flinched. "I can't even imagine…"
"Are you sure about that," he chuckled. "I know you didn't forget how you broke your leg."
Marcus guffawed. "Not that I think about it, I can imagine it. Thanks for reminding me, asshole."
Harvey grinned.
"That night was pretty hazy," Harvey admitted. "I was drunk off my ass, but I sobered up quickly after punching that wall."
"I bet," Marcus said. "But, it sure as hell took your mind off of Donna, didn't it?"
Intently, Harvey stared at the road ahead as he involuntarily rubbed his cast, and then his fingers.
"No, not at all."
Harvey watched a Marcus took his scotch glass and poured some MaCallan in it. Silently, he grabbed the glass from his brother and took a few small sips. For a moment, he stared at the grass as he rested his back against Gordon Specter's headstone.
As usual, visiting his father's grave was a somber affair. It was rare when Harvey and Marcus visited at the same time, but when they did, there weren't many words exchanged between them. There wasn't much they wanted to say anyways. But, every once in a while, they'd converse about their dad. The two brothers would reminisce on the past and the kind of man their father was. Sometimes it made the grieving easier, other times, it made it worse.
Harvey finished his drink and gestured to Marcus to refill his cup.
"What'cha thinking bout?" Marcus looked at his brother intently as he poured.
In thought, Harvey stared at his glass. "It's all bullshit," he said in a quiet tone. "People tell you it'll get better or that the person who died is in a better place, but its just bullshit."
Marcus sipped his drink as he contemplated his response. "Well, telling the grieving that it's all darkness after death isn't all that comforting," he rationalized.
Harvey scoffed. "I'm not talking about whether or not there's an afterlife. People just tell you uplifting, cliché bullshit because either they don't want to deal with a person's grief or they don't know how. So, they tell you whatever they think may bring you comfort, but rather than actually doing it. They think they can fix grief with a few quick words or that you'll get over it with some positive words."
"It's not that, Harvey," Marcus dismissed. "They just want you to know that things get better is all."
"What gets better," Harvey inquired. "Did life get better with dad's death?"
"Wha—Harvey, that's not what I meant and you know it," Marcus said, defensively. "They just mean that grief doesn't last forever—life goes on."
"And that's supposed to be comforting," Harvey said, incredulously. "I'd rather tell someone tell me straight up that death is hard than try to sugarcoat it to lessen the blow. It doesn't get better. Not even a little bit."
"I know you process emotions differently meaning you like to pretend you don't have any," Marcus said. "But, people say it because it helps others. Hearing shit like that feels good and people aren't as devastated."
Harvey looked at Marcus and pointedly asked him, "Did it help you?"
"It's not that simple," Marcus argued.
"Actually, it is. It's a simple yes or no question: did it help you?" Harvey took another sip out of his glass and stared expectantly at Marcus. Marcus bit his thumb as he thought over his response
""I…it—fuck, Harvey! At times, it helped at times," he said, finally. "It didn't help at first, but it did eventually."
"But, did it," Harvey challenged. "Some days are better than others, but did your grief really get better? There are days I can talk about dad, and then there are others like now, where it's hard to talk about him, let alone think about him. And when I look at you sometimes, your grief looks just as fresh as the day he died. That everyday you have to live with the reality that he's never coming back—how does that get easier to deal with?"
"I don't know. I guess they just don't want people consumed by grief," Marcus speculated. "Even though someone you loved died, you can still have a fulfilling life."
"I get that, but lying to me doesn't change that there's a very big gap in my life or—or someone else's life that can never be filled," Harvey explained. "Dad's death, my pain is very real as the moment I found out, but my life still went on. I became a senior partner and now I'm a named partner. You're married, have kids, and own your. So, it's bullshit. You never stop grieving. Never. You just accept it and learn how to live your life without that person."
"So, what inspired this…train of thought," Marcus inquired, as he topped of Harvey's drink.
Harvey sniffed. "Aunt Jackie. During his funeral, I recalled her saying how would shouldn't cry and feel sad about losing dad—we're supposed to celebrate his life. Just the thought of her saying that pisses me off."
"I don't even remember you crying when he died," Marcus admitted.
Harvey gave a small smile. "I remember you being pissed off at me about that too." Marcus chuckled. "I tried not to, but I did—I have. There was one time in front of Donna when she first broke the news: before the funeral…after the funeral. Just never around anyone else."
"I wish you would've cried around me," Marcus admitted. "We could've grieved together."
"We did," Harvey contradicted.
Marcus shook his head in disagreement. "No, I did. I grieved around you and you did it in private. You were so focused on being strong for me that you didn't realized that I didn't need your strength, I just needed you."
Firmly, Harvey pressed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.
"I'm sorry, Marcus," Harvey apologized.
"For what?" Marcus bit his lip. "It took me a while to understand that people cope differently and you did the best you could. I didn't appreciate it back then, but despite my feelings about mom during that time, she did try to be there for us."
At this, Harvey's jaw tightened. "Please don't bring that woman up—she's not worth wasting any breath over."
"I don't hate her, you know," Marcus admitted. "I don't think I ever did; I just thought I was supposed to because dad was heartbroken and you hated her."
"She broke dad's heart, Marcus," Harvey reminded. "She cheated with that professor guy for two years."
Marcus sighed. "Harvey, I know that; you don't need to remind me."
"Clearly, I do," he disputed. "She didn't care that she broke dad's heart or that it crushed him when she left. And she sure as hell didn't care about the fallout from her leaving not just him, but you too."
"And you," Marcus added. "She left you too. But, she wasn't the only one to leave."
"Marcus," Harvey said in a voice that sounded like a warning. "Are you going to hold that over my head for the rest of my life?"
"Are you going to hold it over her head for the rest of her life," he shot back.
Angrily, Harvey glared at his brother as he used his father's headstone as support to help him up. Once Harvey got up, he paced back and forth in front of Marcus.
"I was just a kid—she wasn't," Harvey said. "For two years, I lived with her secret and when dad found out, I felt like shit. I felt like I disappointed him and I didn't know how to deal with it. I came back, she didn't."
Marcus looked at up Harvey as he spoke, "Can you blame her? We hated her."
"She'd made her bed," Harvey retorted. "You can't hurt people, leave, and then expect them not to hate you. She hurt dad—he did nothing to deserve that."
"She hurt you," Marcus corrected.
"No, she hurt dad," Harvey said vehemently. "You know that. You had to live with that, which you never let me forget."
As if to even the playing field, Marcus stood up. He looked at his brother for a moment, and then the ground.
"Dad was the one who was cheated on, but he took it way better than you ever did." Harvey mentally recoiled at Marcus' words. "Like you said, I was there, you weren't. So, don't go extrapolating to me about the fallout in wake of her departure. It was hard, okay? I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But, I'm older now and that life seems like another life—I've gained perspective. Your anger at mom wasn't just about dad, it was also about her disappointing you."
"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Harvey spat.
Marcus sadly smiled. "But, don't I? Second from Donna, I'm the one who knows you best. Even then, she only knows the product that you've molded yourself into. But, me, I was right there by your side as the shit went down and watched how you changed before my eyes. So yeah, I know what the fuck I'm talking about."
Unlike other people, Marcus was there to see the evolution of his brother from a young child to a grown man. He knew who Harvey was before the cockiness and bravado; before the swagger and the girls; before the guardedness and the fears; before the compartmentalization and suppressed emotions. Marcus knew him before all of this.
Harvey fooled other people, but he couldn't fool someone who'd been there since the beginning.
"I overheard mom and dad talking once and you know what she said," Marcus asked, as he walked closer to Harvey. "As cold as it sounds, if I'd known Harvey would spend the rest of his life hating me, I never would've cheated."
"Is this supposed to make me sympathetic for her?" Harvey stared at Marcus incredulously. "She didn't cheat on me, she cheated on him!"
"No, you don't get it, do you," Marcus yelled. "For someone so goddamn smart, you're so goddamn dense. You have these impossible standards, Harvey—even when you were younger—and if someone failed live up to them, that meant that they failed you. I love you, brother, but it's not easy being on the opposite side; your love is tough love. With mom, you shut her out once she disappointed you for the last time. With me, it was the quiet disappointment. I could read your thoughts and how you thought I could be doing so much more with my life. With dad, you made him feel like he failed you as a parent because he didn't handle mom leaving very well."
"I made dad feel like he failed me," Harvey said in disbelief. "Now, you're just pulling shit out of your ass."
"Harvey, YOU. WEREN'T. THERE. I was!" Marcus pointed to himself as he spoke. "Dad loved mom—she was his world and he was devastated when she left and, although it wasn't pretty; you don't get to use his devastation as an example of weakness. You took that one moment in his life and molded yourself into being everything he wasn't. You loved him, but you couldn't be weak like him. How do you think that made him feel, huh? Even though mom was the one who cheated and left, for one nanosecond, you managed to make dad feel worse than she ever did—you made like shit for daring to be heartbroken."
"You know what, fuck you," Harvey spat as he jabbed a finger at Marcus. "Don't try to use dad as some way of getting back at me for leaving. I thought that we were past that, but if you have something to me, then say it—just don't hide behind dad to do it."
Marcus sighed in frustration as he ran a hand through his hair.
"It's time we forgive her, Harvey," Marcus whispered. "Haven't we punished her enough? Not only was the villain in the story, which you made sure of, she lost her kids as well. We didn't see her. We didn't talk to her. We barely even acknowledged that she existed. We still do. For two and a half decades, we've punished her—enough is enough."
Appalled, Harvey wordlessly stared at his brother.
"Forgive her? Are you listening to yourself right now," Harvey asked pointedly. "Marcus, it wasn't just the adultery. When she didn't want to be a stay at home mom anymore, she became an alcoholic; when she couldn't be that anymore, she begged dad to fund her college education to escape her life; when that wasn't enough, she fucked her professor for two goddamn years. Mom was selfish—it was all about her wants and needs the rest of us be damned. People who reward loyalty like that aren't worth my time."
Harvey snatched the MaCallan from Marcus and gulped deeply.
Silently, Marcus stared at Harvey for a long time, and then reached for the bottle. Harvey waved him away and drank out of the bottle again. Marcus understood Harvey's anger, but it was to the detriment of his own personal life. They needed to talk about their mother in a productive way. This talk was a long time coming, but he didn't know how to get through to Harvey. His older brother had so much hate built up inside him for their mother that Marcus was discouraged from being it up for a long time, but not anymore. He knew for a fact that it'd be beneficial for them to actually discuss their mom as well as extend a hand to her. Besides, she was their only living parent and, although she made some mistakes, they weren't anything that couldn't be forgiven. Ultimately, Marcus couldn't hate her for the rest of his life nor could he pretend to. He wanted to a relationship with his mom, which he didn't need Harvey to do, but he'd wanted Harvey to have one with her as well.
But, Harvey's stubbornness wouldn't allow it. He'd rather suffer than allow their mother back into his life. Before Jessica funded his Harvard education, their mother offered. By the time Harvey graduated from NYU, despite still being heartbroken, Gordon forgave his ex-wife Lily for her infidelity. Since Harvey refused to see her, and Marcus followed his older brother's lead, Lily didn't have any contact with her kids. Gordon, being the kindhearted and sympathetic man that he was, kept her in the loop. He updated her on current events and sent her pictures of holidays, birthdays, and graduations. It was after Lily inquired about Harvey's application status for Harvard that she found out Harvey got in, but couldn't attend.
Immediately, grief hit her. Not only did she and Gordon use their savings to fund her education, he gave up his music career to work two jobs to support her as well as took out loans. The plan was for her to help fund Marcus and Harvey's college education once she graduated, but by the end of Harvey's senior year in high school, they'd separated and her kids wanted nothing to do with her, especially Harvey.
Harvey worked and saved up all throughout college, so he could help his father with the payments once he got accepted to Harvard. Harvey worked his ass off since he knew he wouldn't be able to keep any real paying job and be a full time student there. But then, Gordon got incredibly sick and left work due to disability, which meant he couldn't help fund Harvey's law education. This news brought huge distress to Lily and she argued night and day with her boyfriend, Walter Beckford, the man who she cheated on Gordon with, to fund Harvey's schooling. She'd cried and pleaded and said she'd pay Walter back even if it took the rest of her life.
When she offered Harvey the money, he told her to keep the check—he didn't want her money and would find another way to get it. Harvey told her he didn't need her help and to stay out of his life.
Harvey knew he should've postponed school back then and been there for his father and brother, but he went to school as scheduled. He didn't know how to help his brother and couldn't face his dad. Occasionally, he'd call and visited every once and a while, but they all knew that he'd left to escape. Harvey could've come around more, but he didn't.
By the time he did, the transition he started his junior year in high school, was completed his sophomore year in college: he'd became the Harvey Specter as people knew and loved today. It was then that he started to come home more and sort through the rubble to find a sense of normalcy.
"Will you give this loyalty bullshit a rest," Marcus said in disgust. "You can't even reach the fucking standard you hold everyone else to, but yet; you're upset when people can't meet your expectations."
Harvey froze for a moment, and then slowly approached his brother. "This loyalty bullshit," he asked in a low voice. "You mean that same loyalty bullshit you hold over my head because I left home after I graduated—that loyalty bullshit?"
"No, the loyalty bullshit where no one can fuck up or you'll cut them off," Marcus said. "You left when dad was at his worst and when I needed someone the most; where's the loyalty in that? By your standards neither dad nor I should've ever forgiven you. But, we did. You came back and we forgave you. It's not too much to ask that, after over two decades, you forgive our mother for not being perfect."
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Marcus," Harvey said incredulously. "You're honestly comparing me going away to college and not wanting to deal with the fallout from HER actions to mom abandoning the family after she cheated on dad as a reason why I should forgive her? Very compelling argument—a sound one too. Maybe you should've gone to law school instead."
"So, cheating is an unforgivable act," Marcus asked. "That's something that can't be forgiven, right?"
Harvey sighed. "Marcus…"
"Right," Marcus interrupted Harvey.
"Look, I didn't come here to argue—"
"Francie isn't mine," Marcus admitted.
Harvey snapped his neck to look at Marcus. "What did you just say?"
"My little girl isn't mine, Harvey," his voice cracked, as he scratched the back of his head. "Trina cheated on me. I hate it—I hate that another guy had my wife and—and—and that he put a child in her. My daughter. But, I hate myself even more because I wasn't there for her. I neglected my duty as her husband to gamble away our money. So, even if the signs had been there, I wasn't around to witness any of it. I was so out of control, Harvey, so out of control; it was worse than I led you to believe." Tears welled in his eyes as he thought about his wife's infidelity.
"She told me that before I got my shit together, she thought about leaving. It wasn't to be with that other guy, but that she was unhappy and hated herself for letting another man touch her. She was lonely and emotionally weak and it was the only attention that she'd received. Coincidentally, I quit gambling and opened the restaurant to prove that I didn't want to lose her due to the gambling and she kept quiet about her infidelity and stayed: we were happy again. In the back of her mind, she suspected I wasn't Francie's father; she just didn't want it to be true. But, after a while, she couldn't deal with the uncertainty and how she could've been lying to me about our daughter's paternity, so she got the test, then told me everything. She told me that, for four years, I raised a child that DNA tests said wasn't mine. I was so angry and lost—I hated Trina. I stayed with dad for a few weeks, but visited the kid's everyday. Although a part of my questioned Michael and Haley's paternity, I treated them the same, but I didn't know how to act around Francine.
"Then one day dad said, 'Forgive the woman already.' I looked at him like he was crazy because, well, Trina cheated on me and Francie wasn't mine. My only real choice was for me to leave, which dad and I already spoke about. But, dad wasn't having that, he said that he knew I idolized you, but that you didn't always have the answers and weren't always right. I didn't want to leave Trina because there wasn't any hope for our marriage; I was leaving her because that's what you'd tell you to do. But, that it was MY life not yours. MINE. And if I was really going to leave Trina, then why didn't I tell you about her infidelity? And it was because I didn't want to leave Trina. If I told you, our divorce would've been real. Dad said he knew he didn't handle mom leaving well, but he forgave her. He said, 'I wish I 'd taught Harvey that love and emotions aren't weaknesses; I wish I 'd taught him that forgiveness isn't weakness either. You can't measure strength by lack of vulnerability.' He forgave mom not for her, but for himself. He knew that needed to move on even though he wasn't a hundred percent over her. So, although Trina messed up, he knew I still loved her and that I shouldn't give up on my marriage because of what you thought.
"And it's taken me years to see it, but you don't know how to love someone if they've hurt you. You think that if a person loves you, they'll never hurt you and that's why you don't know how to forgive, which is why you can't forgive mom. Because either she you never loved you, which she proved by when she tore our family apart by cheating on dad, or you have to accept that sometimes the people we love are the very same people capable of hurting us the most. Since you can't accept that, you've avoided any meaningful relationships because the idea of someone you loving and caring for potentially hurting you isn't something you can handle. And that's why you harp on loyalty as if it's going out of style: it's all or nothing. You can't be a little bit loyal—it's either you are or you aren't and it's a very black and white thing, which is how you deal with relationships. But, if dad and I can forgive mom and Trina, despite our hurt, why can't you forgive anyone? Why can't you forgive mom?"
Overwhelmed, Harvey blankly stared at Marcus as he tried to process his brother's thoughts, feelings, and accusations.
As he turned over Marcus' words in his head, he felt anger build within him. In Harvey's mind, he felt attacked and blamed for what happened to their family. Their mother tore their family apart, but yet; he seemed to be at fault for wanting nothing to do with her. Whether she left because felt unwanted or because she wanted to be with her lover, no one prevented her from coming back. It didn't matter how angry Harvey was, if she loved them, she could've returned and fought for them. But, she didn't. She chose to stay out of their lives for 25 years.
He came back and dealt with the consequences of his actions, she didn't.
He came back.
But, all dad and Marcus saw was that he didn't want her around because he couldn't forgive her.
"Marcus, if you want to forgive her, that's your business," Harvey began. "But, let's not forget: she was a serial cheater. Mom cheated on her boyfriend at the time with dad, and then cheated on dad with that professor. It's in her nature to hurt people for her own benefit, so pontificate all you want, but the evidence speaks for itself."
"No, the evidence states that she was a serial cheater, the rest is speculative bullshit," Marcus argued.
"Look, Marcus, I've done just fine without her in my life these past 25 years—that's not changing anytime soon."
Marcus groaned. "Harvey…"
"I'm ready to go," he said in a clipped tone.
Marcus wanted to protest again, but knew it was futile. He tried; the best he could hope was that it'd eventually resonate with his brother.
In boredom, Marcus dipped his fry in ketchup and slowly circled it around in the sauce.
Since Marcus had a few drinks at the cemetery and Harvey couldn't even drive if he wanted to, they decided to get something to eat as they sobered up. More like, Marcus decided to eat and Harvey silently went along with it. Since he told his brother he wanted to leave, Harvey hadn't said a word to him.
"Ignore me all you want, Harvey, but I'm not sorry," Marcus said, as he leaned back into his seat. "I just can't live my life like this: a world where you always feel the need to protect yourself from hurt and disappointment. You say you want to feel real things like grief, but you won't allow yourself to feel those other things."
Harvey stopped chewing his hotdog and clenched his jaw.
"You changed after mom left, but it wasn't until sometime after dad died that you refused to let others in." Marcus dropped the fry and took a sip of his coffee. "And I could never pinpoint just exactly what triggered it. I couldn't figure out what happened to you."
"What's to figure out," Harvey said suddenly. "Emotions make you weak."
"Like dad," Marcus supplied.
Harvey narrowed his eyes at Marcus. "No, not like dad," he said sternly. "You and dad always assumed I broke up with Kirsten because of the family drama surrounding mom's infidelity, but that's not what happened," Harvey explained. "I confided in Kirsten about what was going on at home and how it made me feel. For a while she was there for me, and then one day she said it was all too much and that she needed to focus on herself. But, what it really was was that she no longer wanted to deal with my shit and told her new fucking boyfriend about my personal business. Before I knew it, the whole school was whispering about Harvey Specter's slut of a mom. And it got to me—it always did. So, no, I don't think emotions makes a person weak because dad got his heartbroken; I think it makes a person weak because it leaves them vulnerable."
Suddenly, Harvey's running away to college all made sense: Harvey didn't just leave because he felt guilty about keeping quiet about their mother's infidelity; he left for himself as well. Harvey had suffered a major blow with his career ending injury, but he was being whispered about and taunted at school as well about a very serious personal matter. During that time, home reminded of him of nothing but bad memories and he needed to escape and deal with his demons somewhere else.
Harvey being Harvey, he didn't want to burden his brother or dad about his own personal problems. Besides, it wasn't as if any of them could really do anything to prevent teens from being cruel. Harvey's only option was to leave.
"And dad's death left you vulnerable," Marcus concluded.
"People think that lawyers are the scum of the earth because either we're seen as heartless or like giant assholes," Harvey began. "But, that's the nature of the beast. No successful lawyer isn't a little bit of both at any given time and that's not just with the client, that's with other attorneys as well."
Marcus looked at Harvey in confusion.
"I had my grief used against me," he admitted. "Someone used my emotions to manipulate me to gain an advantage."
"That was a shitty thing to do," Marcus said.
Harvey shrugged. "It's a regular business practice for some."
"Doesn't make it right," Marcus argued.
"I didn't say that," Harvey said. "I can't control how people function, but I can control how I react to them."
"By pretending you don't feel shit," Marcus, said incredulously. "I can tell you right now, it ain't working."
"Marcus…"
"Harvey," his brother interrupted. "Pretending you don't have emotions is one way to deal, but it's not healthy."
"I know you call yourself looking out for me," Harvey began. "But, I'm fine."
"No, you aren't Harvey," Marcus said adamantly. He insecurely leaned forward towards Harvey when people turned their heads to the table, and then lowered his voice. "You aren't. You devote yourself to your job than actually have and explore relationships that are worthwhile because you're afraid of someone taking advantage of your emotions. But, I promise you, it's worth it."
"So, Trina cheating on you was worth it?" Harvey looked Marcus square in the eyes as he wiped his mouth. "Is that what you're telling me?"
Marcus balled his hand into a fist. "You know what, fuck you, Harvey," he spat. "Don't you dare use my pain as ammunition against me to support your bullshit outlook on life."
"I just asked a simple question," Harvey said innocently.
"Why are you being an ass when I'm just trying to help," Marcus asked. "Yeah, Trina cheated, but our marriage is now stronger than ever. But, what do you have—no wait, who do you have?"
Harvey scratched his beard, and then stared at his younger brother. "What you think because you have someone that you're somehow in a better position than me? You're wife fucked another man, and then had you raise that man's child. You didn't stay because you loved Trina, you stayed because you're weak."
Marcus was infuriated. "I asked who do you have? Is it Scottie? Hold on a minute, that's over, but anyone with two eyes knew that that relationship wasn't going to work," he said with an indifferent shrug. "That Zoe woman? Oh yeah, the timing was off with her. Now that I think about it, the last serious relationship you had before Scottie was back when you were an ADA, which was over a decade ago. Am I right?"
"I don't know," Harvey lied.
"You don't know," Marcus scoffed. "You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth—everything you are is because you don't want to end up like dad. Sure, it's part Kirsten and parts all of that other bullshit, but it's also part of you being afraid of loving someone like dad loved mom. You're afraid of being 'weak', but guest what: you're already there."
In response to this, Harvey laughed. "Whatever you say, Marcus."
"Whatever you say, Marcus," he mocked. "You got drunk, broke your arm, took a very expensive taxi ride to my home, and then skipped work all because Donna left you. If you ask me, that math is pretty simple, but you aren't even using the right formula to solve a basic problem that everyone else has figured out."
"Oh yeah, and what is that," Harvey asked in mock interest.
Marcus sardonically chuckled. "Do you really need for me to spell it out?"
"Come on, Marcus, you were doing so well—keep your metaphors together: are we doing math or language?"
"You've paid Donna out of pocket for years even when you no longer had to, she's privy to all of your personal even when it's unrelated to work, you buy her expensive purses and let her parents use your condo that one time, and beat that guy Stephen's ass for making her cry. And that's just everything I can think of off of the top of my head. If emotions make you weak, Harvey, you're pretty fucking weak right now. I want to see how weak you become; I want to see how long it takes before you fall apart at the seams and grovel at her feet. Because it's obvious that you'd give her the world if she asked and it's not because of her fantastic secretarial skills—it's because you're in love with her."
Without missing a beat, Harvey said, "No shit, Sherlock. You think you're telling me something I don't already know?" He looked at his watch, and then threw a couple singles on the counter. "Come on, we've got to get going."
For most of the ride they rode in silence on the way to Marcus' home.
As much as Marcus was surprised at Harvey's revelation and wanted to hear more, he was upset at his brother. There was a reason why he kept Trina's infidelity a secret for years and he didn't appreciate it being used against him when all he was trying to do was help.
After giving their diner discussion some thought, Harvey concluded that he'd been an asshole to Marcus. Well, he knew it even during the time, but he crossed a line he shouldn't have. Harvey knew that his brother loved his wife and that it had to be a big thing for him to keep her infidelity a secret him, and then eventually tell him as a way to understand the power of forgiveness even with a huge betrayal.
"I'm sorry," Harvey apologized. "What I said was…out of line."
"Yeah, it was," Marcus, agreed.
"Like I said, lawyers can be assholes and, sometimes, we don't know how to turn it off or just leave it at work," he explained.
"To be fair," Marcus began. "You were an asshole even before you became a lawyer."
Harvey laughed. "And it's landed me the title of best closer in Manhattan."
At this, Marcus smiled. Although he wanted Harvey to have more out of life than just his job, being a lawyer truly made him happy. He worked his ass off to get where he was and Marcus was proud of his older brother. Harvey missed plenty of birthdays, holidays, and family functions, but he was really passionate about the law and building his career. Even though this upset Marcus at times, he knew that not many things made Harvey happy like the law other than Donna.
"Did you tell her," Marcus inquired.
Harvey stared at Marcus in confusion for a moment before catching his drift.
"Yes," he tightly replied.
In disbelief, Marcus momentarily took his eyes off of the road and looked at Harvey. "You've got to be shitting me. What did she say?"
"She said that 'this wasn't working for her anymore' and that she didn't want my pity," he said, as he stared out of the window.
"Harvey," Marcus said to get his brother's attention. The older man ignored him. "Harvey, what happened?"
Tightly, Harvey shut his eyes and clenched his jaw. Very slowly, he shook his head before he looked at his brother. "As smart as Donna is, she can make some really fucking stupid decisions," he began. "A few days ago, she got into some very serious trouble and all I knew was that I needed to fix it—I didn't care how just as long as I did it. I didn't want to think about what would happen if I couldn't. I didn't even want to consider it. Donna was scared and—and I couldn't process it; I didn't know how. All I knew was that I just needed it fixed, so that everything could go back to normal. And that's what I did."
"Then, what's the issue? Why does she think you pity her," Marcus asked.
"The hell if I know," he said angrily. Marcus gave him a knowing look. "Fine. Because I told her that I loved her to make her feel better."
"Harvey," Marcus said, appalled. "Did you literally say that to her?"
"Yes," he replied.
"No wonder she left." Marcus looked at Harvey as if he was crazy.
Harvey glared at brother. "What in the fuck did you just say?"
"Harvey, you don't tell people you love them to make them feel better," Marcus explained. "It's fucked up."
"I didn't tell Donna that I loved her to make her feel better," Harvey said defensively. "I said it to comfort her, which I tried to clarify."
At Harvey's statement, Marcus looked at his brother incredulously. "What's the fucking difference? I know you're a hotshot lawyer and you all have a way with words, but bullshit is bullshit, brother."
"You want to know the fucking difference," Harvey spat out. "Intent. What purpose would it serve for me to tell Donna that I loved her after I got her off? What would I be making her feel better about, Marcus? Explain to me how in the hell that makes sense?" Harvey ran a hand through his hair as he spoke. "Before I got her case dismissed, Donna asked me to comfort her and I didn't have the time. But, after the case, I wanted her to know—I told her that she never has to feel scared of anything. Because I'll—I'll always be there to protect her and that… her faith in me mattered because she was different," Harvey said as vulnerability laced his voice.
Marcus softened at the explanation. "Then you told her you loved her to comfort her."
For a moment, Harvey thought about it. "Yes…no. I was on my way out the door and she asked why she was different. I—I don't even know why she asked because Donna knows how I feel about her—she knows and I told her that. But, she nodded her head no and I told her that she knew I loved her." He sighed, and looked at his cast. "But, maybe she didn't. Its just…Donna knows everything; she knows me. But, then she came into my office and began making accusations and I misspoke. After that, I couldn't say shit because she was furious with me. I…I thought we wanted the same thing, but then she told me that it wasn't working for her anymore and that she was going to work for Louis." Tiredly, Harvey rubbed his face. "I really don't feel like talking about this."
"Are you in the mood for debating," Marcus asked with a slight grin. "Because we still haven't settled the Isley Brother versus the Temptations."
At this, Harvey smiled.
"I don't even understand how this is a debate," he said in disbelief. "I won't deny the Temptations their credit as well as influence, but the Isley Brothers are the clear cut winners."
Unbelievingly, Marcus stared at his brother. "Clear cut? Not only did the Temptations chart better back then, they were the more popular group. They had hits for days and you'd find more people who could name their songs than you could for the Isley Brothers."
"Sure, if we're just talking about popularity," he argued. "But, the Temptations were signed with Motown who was known as Hitsville during its heyday. Berry Gordy refused to put out a song if he believed that it wouldn't chart well. Because of this, I'd argue that since the Temptations didn't write most of their songs, but Smokey Robinson as well as other on staff writers at Motown, their success was created rather than something that was authentic to them as a group like the Isley brothers."
"That is such bullshit, Harvey," Marcus stated.
"Admit it," Harvey said. "The Temptations were just another pop act and had a difficult time sustaining that success after Motown's golden age ended. Although the Isley Brothers weren't as nearly successful as the Temptations, their success centered around their own creative output, also, many of their songs are sampled today…
87 hrs
"I've never cared for Twilight Zone," Jessica began as she stared pointedly at Harvey. "But, I can't shake the feeling that I'm in the newest episode."
Harvey raised an eyebrow at her statement as he stared back at the older woman.
"I've never cared for it either," he replied. "I'm a Star Trek man myself."
Jessica slowly nodded at his remark as if he provided insightful commentary. For a moment, she remained silent as she looked at the named partner, and then raised an eyebrow at his arm.
"So, I take it that this is bad," she surmised. Slowly, she walked towards Harvey as she tried to feel out the situation: Donna left Harvey to work for Louis. Jessica sat on the couch opposite of Harvey.
Although Jessica liked Donna, she wasn't enamored with her like Harvey and Louis were. The managing partner believed that Donna was incredibly good at her job and, perhaps even, the best secretary in Manhattan. Despite this, she didn't understand the worship Harvey and Louis constantly gave her. It baffled her. Donna did what most people do who are successful at their jobs: she networked. Donna observed her environment around her; met and befriended all of the right people; did and asked for favors at the right time. She made herself invaluable and sought after, but she was the one who chose who she worked for not the other way around.
It was admirable, but that's it.
Although the fascination with Donna baffled Jessica, she understood the secretary leaving Harvey had very real consequences that didn't just extend to Harvey. Jessica wasn't one to meddle in small things like a secretary leaving to go to greener pastures, but Donna's departure influenced the relationship between two of the three named partners and potentially office politics at large. If this were a contained situation, she'd try to make Harvey see perspective and deal with his emotions in a productive way (as productive for Harvey Specter as he could get). But, it wasn't: Louis and Harvey's relationship couldn't be described as smooth sailing and she only saw it getting worse with the recent development.
Harvey was an asshole; yes, that's right, even SHE, Jessica Pearson thought that Harvey was an asshole, but Louis loved to antagonize people. As much as Jessica believed that Donna might have a calming influence on him, Louis was who he was. He antagonized to celebrate. He antagonized to punish. He antagonized just because.
Louis' constant need of acceptance not only defined him as a person, but his career as well. He didn't understand the nuisances of human interaction or office politics and how to play the game. This lack of understanding, which robbed him of foresight, was the reason his reputation and career wasn't where he wanted it to be. His constant need of approval was why he never was going to get the respect he felt he deserved, especially from Harvey—most importantly from Harvey.
Louis didn't take Donna—she willingly went to him. Although Jessica didn't know the specifics, she did know that Louis tried for years to poach her, which never yielded any results, until recently. Even then, Donna left because she because she wanted to.
Again, she didn't like to meddle: they were all fucking adults and should know how to handle their own shit.
But, this was different.
Way different.
A dangerous game was being played, which she doubted that any of the major players knew the rules.
Louis thought he won because Donna worked for him, but he only saw the situation as black and white; he didn't understand the grey area. He didn't understand the complexities of Harvey and Donna. There were layers and unexplored areas and carefully drawn lines that all stood out in vibrant colors. Louis wasn't able to process this—he couldn't because his world was about acceptance NOT about understanding other perceptions besides his own.
So, he couldn't understand them because he couldn't see their world. And Jessica didn't completely understand it herself, but she saw it and knew that all wasn't what it seemed. Louis saw a man who didn't appreciate a secretary/friend he coveted; Jessica saw an unconventional and co-dependent relationship between a boss and his secretary that neither wanted to acknowledge, but thrived because of it.
And now something's changed in a major way.
Since Donna left opposed to being fired, it'd be easier to blame Harvey for whatever went wrong, but knowing them, it wasn't that cut and dry.
Jessica wouldn't be in Harvey's apartment if it were.
"Jessica," he said in a low voice. "I'm not talking about this."
"Yes, you are," she said. "We've already had enough shit happen at this law firm in addition to that other situation that keeps giving and I'm sick and tired of it; we're going to deal this right here and right now."
Perhaps it was her recent break up with Jeff or the fact that her law firm had focused more time and energy on fighting off hostile takeovers, keeping Mike's secret a secret, and going to jail, which prevented her from waiting a few days and having a gentler touch, but Jessica had enough of it. They were going to address the elephant in the room and they were going to move on because her law firm was having a fresh start. Regardless of how Pearson Specter Litt came to be, it wasn't going to implode because of a secretary, no, it was going to grow stronger due to Harvey's closing abilities, Louis' trial expertise, and her strategizing. They were stronger together than they were separately and Jessica needed to get Harvey to see that. She was going to talk to Louis as well, but Harvey was the rational one of the two and needed to be dealt with first.
"I know you and Donna have a long, complicated history," Jessica began as she crossed her legs. As if trying to escape, Harvey got up and walked to the opposite side of his place. "But, I need to know that this isn't going to affect the firm."
"You mean that you need to know that I'm not going to act out or lash out at Louis and bring the wrong kind of attention on the firm," he deduced.
Jessica nodded. "I remember when I used to have to spell it out for you."
"Ha ha," Harvey said. "You see, that's not funny because I said 'ha ha' rather than actually laughing."
Jessica silently laughed as she shook her head. "Your insistence on explaining your jokes as if they're as clever as you like to believe never cease to amuse me."
"As clever is still clever," he countered.
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day," she replied.
Harvey ignored her jab. "Is that all you came here for?"
"No," she stated. "As a named partner, you already know that comes with different and bigger responsibilities. I've repeatedly explained that I need you to care about people other than yourself as well as the firm."
"Is this going anywhere because I know all of this?" Harvey sat back down on the couch across from Jessica.
"Harvey," Jessica said slowly. "I know you think you've got this, but I need you to have your shit together," she stressed. "You're not only one of the faces of Pearson Specter Litt, you're a leader as well. Even though some of our lawyers may not like you, they respect you and they follow your lead. I let you get away with being your own little island for a long time, but your actions have far larger consequences as a named partner. Now I need you to show me you care about the firm you fought to have your name on."
"Meaning?" Harvey leaned forward and rested his left arm on his left knee.
"There is a difference between saying you'll have your shit together and actually having your shit together," she explained. "Now more than ever, your actions aren't just reflective of yourself, but your fellow named partners and the firm at large. Understand?"
Harvey nodded, and then leaned back into the couch. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Although he'd been partner for a while, it was one thing to fight an external, professional conflict and another to fight an internal, personal conflict, especially when it came to Donna. She was his professional and personal wrapped into one and it was obvious to anyone who knew them that she was his constant. Whenever something compromised their relationship, Harvey acted out in various ways, but this time, she left.
She left.
How was he going to deal?
"Take a day," she suggested
"I've taken two," Harvey refuted.
"Then take a week," she insisted.
Harvey opened his eyes and looked at Jessica. "I could take 365 days and that wouldn't be enough," he countered.
"Then, what is," she inquired, as she looked at him.
Harvey shrugged. "I don't know."
"Then find out," Jessica said in an authoritative tone. "I know—I KNOW—that she's important to you, Harvey, but I've worked way too hard and way too long to get where I am that I shouldn't have to constantly worry about bullshit like my firm on the verge of imploding every few months, especially over a secretary. Fix it."
Silently, Harvey stared at Jessica as he clenched his jaw.
Jessica inwardly screamed, and then closed her eyes to calm herself. Why does he have to be so damn stubborn?
She narrowed her eyes as she looked at her partner. "I don't know who's to blame and, quite frankly, I don't give a damn. But, you and Donna better work your shit out and, if you can't, then you better keep it professional. This is a law firm not a goddamn soap opera, constant drama won't entertain our clients and it sure as hell doesn't pay."
Harvey nodded his head. "Noted."
"Take care of it, Harvey," Jessica warned one last time, before she turned and exited his apartment.
108 hrs
As soon as Harvey stepped off of the elevator, eyes instantly gravitated to him.
The lawyers, paralegals, and secretaries noticed not only his broken hand in a sling, but his bearded face as well, which he hadn't shaved since Saturday. Harvey planned to shave it that morning, but he woke up late and didn't want to rush his hired help with something like that.
Next to him stood his temporary typist until he was able to use his hand again. The man was an out of work stenographer looking to make some quick cash. Luckily for him, Harvey also paid well and offered to pay even better based of his accuracy and note taking skills.
Harvey walked past his desk and saw a temp secretary sitting at Donna's desk. His stomach turned at the site, but he went to his office and got to work. Although he was distracted, Harvey separated his work into manageable pieces. He returned the necessary phone calls and went over the cases that needed immediate attention. He wasn't due in court or negotiating sessions soon, but he had a system he liked to stick to in order to ensure that he was on top of his game.
People talked and said a lot about him, but they didn't know how hard Harvey worked to get where he was; they didn't know how hard he worked to make everything he did look effortless.
Being a lawyer wasn't just about billable hours; it was about understanding the clients' needs, knowing the intricacies of those specific laws that you were trying to apply, negotiating, and so forth. It was about knowing how to bring clients in and keep them. It was about knowing when to talk law and knowing when to woo them. Harvey understood this.
"Mr. Specter," the temp stood in the doorway.
Harvey signaled for the stenographer to stop.
"Yes," he replied.
"Ms. Pearson would like to see you in her office now," he said.
Automatically, Harvey's hand rubbed his face as he mentally prepared himself for their discussion. He took a deep breath, and then went to her office.
"I heard that you made an appearance at the office, but I wanted to see if it was true," Jessica said, as she crossed her hands and looked at Harvey. "I see you didn't take that week like a suggested."
"It was either let the work pile up or have some other lawyers look over my work for the week," he explained. "I value my reputation too much to do either one to them, so I came in."
Jessica chuckled. "I see. I also see that your beard's here to stay."
Involuntarily, Harvey rubbed his face. "Will that be a problem?"
"No," Jessica shook her head. "It just reminds me of…Hardman."
Harvey smiled. "He may have worn it first, but he sure as he didn't wear it as good," Harvey argued.
"True," Jessica agreed. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"Jessica, my shit is together," he promised.
"So, you say," she said cryptically. "Let me determine that for myself."
Harvey rolled his eyes, and then said, "Until the doctor gives me the go ahead to use my hand, I've hired a stenographer to take notes for me."
"Makes sense," she replied. "I'd imagine that work would be pretty difficult with such limited use of your hands."
"And just so you know," He began. "I'm firing that temp before lunch."
"Harvey," Jessica said in disbelief. "You've barely worked with Victor."
Harvey grinned. "It's the principle of the matter. I have a standard to uphold."
"Now you sound like Louis," she remarked.
Immediately, Harvey glared at Jessica. "I'm right here," he explained as he gestured with one hand. "And Louis is right here." His succeeding gesture was beneath his previous one. "Not even in Louis' wildest dreams can he reach my standards."
As promised, Harvey fired Victor by lunch and had his stenographer, Bernie, type both his notes and work as his secretary from his office at the same time. The arrangement was a one-day only thing because doing both positions weren't sustainable. Sure, Donna could do it, but Donna was working her secretarial magic with Louis, of all people.
As hard as he tried, Harvey couldn't push his thoughts about Donna out of his head. He was unsure if he didn't think about her as much when they worked together because she was right outside his office for years or if her constant presence 'masked how much he thought about her. But, now that she wasn't his secretary, Harvey was aware of just how much he was thinking about Donna.
A thought that currently plagued him was that Donna knew everything. She's always known everything even before he knew her. He's never told her anything—she's always just known, but she didn't know that he knew he was in love with her. Hell, even Marcus thought Harvey was unaware of his own feelings. For Harvey, this was a big deal. He'd made many decisions based upon the belief that he and Donna had an implicit agreement about their feelings for each other, but he was flat out wrong about that.
Harvey was confused: one moment she was shocked by his words, the next she was angry, then she was content he supposed, and then finally she left him.
He needed to get to the bottom of her reason for leaving.
Donna said she couldn't do this anymore, but Harvey had no clue what she meant and, before she left, she told him that she loved him.
"Uhh…" Harvey said as he got up. "I'm going to step out for a moment, but I'll be in the office.
Bernie shrugged. "Okay."
He made his way to Donna's desk as he tried to think of what to say. He didn't know how to begin, but he needed to get to the bottom of her departure. He had to understand because this didn't make any sense. Why would she leave?
When Harvey finally approached her desk, Donna wasn't there. He considered his options: he could wait for her or he could leave a note. Upon further thought, he couldn't really leave a note. He could try, but he wondered how much of it would be legible and decided against it.
Nervously, he straightened his suit, and then touched his hair as he stood by her desk. As he waited, a few people curiously looked at him, which weirded Harvey out. Usually, Harvey didn't mind, but he felt vulnerable with a cast on. It sounded odd, but his cast was a symbol of his loss of control. And he wasn't used to waiting for anyone—people waited for him.
"Harvey, what are you doing here," Louis demanded to know as he approached his fellow named partner.
"Waiting for Donna," he replied, as he stood up straight in front of Louis. Even if he had Donna, he wasn't going to let a man wearing lifts get the best of him.
"Oh, trying to intimidate me with your height, huh," he asked. "Well, it doesn't matter because I'm not falling for it; you're not getting Donna back."
Harvey rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to talk to her is all," he explained. "And what makes you so sure that I can't get her back? I've known Donna far longer than you have. I'd say with a hundred percent certainty that I have the upper hand here."
Louis snorted. "You used to have the upper hand," he stated. "Before, I couldn't even get Donna to consider leaving you. But, once I told her that you didn't deserve her and that you took her for granted, she left you to come work for me. ME. And that's because she realized that I cared about her not you. So, you can do all the begging and pleading you want, Donna's not coming back."
Harvey froze. "What did you say?"
"I said Donna's not coming back," Louis proudly repeated.
"No, to convince her to work for you," he explained.
"That you don't deserve her because, well, you don't and that you take her for granted because, well, you do." Louis shrugged as if to say 'Deal with it.'
Harvey began to walk away, and then abruptly stopped. With an expressionless face, he said, "Don't tell Donna I was here."
"Don't worry," he said. "I wasn't going to tell her anyway."
Harvey mindlessly nodded before he walked away.
Although he didn't lie to Louis when he said he was just there to talk to Donna, he did plan to eventually woo her to come and work as his secretary again. But, now…Harvey didn't know what to think. He was confused and felt betrayed even more so than when she first left.
If she wanted to be Louis' secretary, she could be Louis' secretary. As far as Harvey was concerned, their work relationship was never to be revisited again.
TBC...
A/N: This is a Darvey story, but Donna's not in the first chapter because I edited her out at the last minute (she really was only in the last scene too) and I wanted to focus on Harvey's reaction before getting into how they function without working together and the story at large.
A/N 2: I didn't mean to make this dialogue heavy, that's just how this worked out. And Harvey is somewhat different character wise, but that is because he is more open with his brother, which the series supports. I mean, I don't know how open (and relaxed) because we only saw like a scene (back in season 3, I believe), but I'm just creating their interaction from that.