Heh, my first attempt at humor…well, I hope it's funny! Just to all of you know, this is NOT to be taken seriously, as I said in the summary. Characters might (heck, they probably are) OOC, but it's just for fun. Flamers please do not take this seriously. If you don't laugh, then that's fine. But don't leave flames saying you didn't laugh! My humor probably stinks, so just bear with me, okay?

Botta: I think you did a good job.

Of course you do. Oh yeah, things are going to be done a little differently in this story; only Botta and I will be here. I disclaim; then give the reins to Botta, who is your Mother Goose.

Botta: Mother Goose! (Looks annoyed)

Fine fine, Father Gander.

Botta: Thank you.

I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any of the fairy tales. Okay Father Gander, take it away.

Botta: Thank you, RoyalFanatic. Now, for our first story, Little Red Riding Hood. (Opens book of Fairy Tales) (A/N: The Italic is Botta reading/speaking)

Once upon a time, there was a blond haired klutz who tripped a lot. Her name was Little Red Riding Hood—

"But I'm wearing white," Colette…umm…Little Red Riding Hood said.

Hey! No interrupting the narrator!

"I'm sorry Mr. Botta…"

You're forgiven. Anyway, her name was Little Red Riding—

"I'm sorry, but I'm still wearing white. And I'm kinda tall too…"

Fine. Her name was Not-so-little White Walking Hood.

"I'm not wearing a hood."

You're wearing one now!

"I'm sorry!"

Her name was Not-so-little White Walking Hood, and she was on a mission. Her grandmother, who lived in the nearby forest, was sick from lack of nutrients. Makes you wonder what she did to deserve such abuse. Anyway, Not-so-little White Walking Hood, or NWWH, as we shall call her, was given a basket of food to take to Grandmo—

"But my grandmother has a name," Col…NWWH said. "It's Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane! Brunel."

Okay…well, since her name is so long, we'll call her Granny.

"Okay!"

And so Little Red…umm…I mean NWWH began skipping—

"I can't skip…"

Why not?

"I trip a lot…"

Fine. NWWH began walking towards Granny's house. As she enters the forest, she tripped over a wolf—

"Inferior being!" Yggdrasill…errrr…the wolf shouted. Yggy was dressed in a wolf costume.

Hey! I'm a half-elf too!

"Ermm…well, I'm not going to be a wolf!"

Fine. Then NWWH tripped over a dead sexy lady—

"NO! I'm NOT being a dead sexy lady!" Now he was in his Cruxis Leader outfit.

It's that or the wolf.

"Fine! I'll be the stupid wolf!"

Better…NOW STOP INTERUPTING ME! Anyway, NWWH trips over the wolf, and begins apologizing.

"Oh no!" NWWH said, getting up. "I'm sorry Mr. Wolf!"

"Inferior beings…ah, I mean uh…hello, not-so-little girl!" the wolf, now in proper costume, said.

The wolf noticed NWWH's basket, and went into Mithos mode…umm…I mean…got excited.

"You have food? I want food! Give me that basket!" the wolf shouted.

"I can't!" NWWH shrieked.

She clutched the basket close to her. Pointless sentence, I know…

"This is for my sick grandmother, who's dying of lack of nutrients!"

"Fine," The wolf said. "But your grandma lives around here, right?"

"Yup! Just looked for the mailbox that has the name 'Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane! Brunel' on it. Now I must be on my way."

"Why don't you take that long path that goes around a mountain that doesn't exist?" The wolf asked.

He pointed to a sign that said 'Long path around a mountain that doesn't exist to Granny's house' on it. Now NWWH, being the blond klutz she is, nodded and started forward. She took two steps and tripped over a rock.

"Oh no! I'm sorry Mr. Rock!" NWWH cried.

She gets up, and trips over another rock.

"I'm sorry Mr. Rocky!" she cried.

"Yeah, I have PLENTY of time," The wolf said.

He took the shortcut to Granny's house. Now how do we know its Granny's house? Well, on the mailbox on the front lawn, the name "Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane! Brunel" on it.

"Man! That not-so-little girl's great-grandma must've had some serious issues."

30 minuets later…

"Where is that not-so-little girl?" the wolf asked

He's already dressed in Granny's nightgown and cap and in the bed. Granny answers from the closet.

"You mean my granddaughter? She's always like this; apologizing to everything that she trips on, and she trips a lot!"

"I know," the wolf said.

Then, they heard a loud "I'm sorry Mr. Steps!"

"Positions! She's here!" the wolf shouted.

"I'm already in position!" Granny shrieked.

The wolf, once again in Mithos mode…umm…I'm mean excited, somehow calmed himself. NWWH tripped through the door.

"Sorry Mr. Door!" she cried. "And hi Grandmother! I have nutrients!"

She put the basket on a table and walked up to the bed.

"Grandmother!" NWWH shouted. "What big eyes you have!"

"Umm…well, the better to see you with, dear," the wolf said.

"Grandmother! What big ears you have!"

"The better to hear you with, my dear."

"Grandmother! What big teeth you have!"

"INFERIOR BEING!" The "wolf" cried.

He jumped off the bed. Yeah, another pointless sentence, I know. But I'm the narrator.

"How dare you reveal my most inner secret? DIE!" he continued.

The door flung open, despite the fact that there was none, since NWWH broke it tripping over it, and a woodsman…dude…entered the house.

"Woodsman…dude?" Regal…umm…the woodsman dude asked. "Didn't he have a name?"

NO HE DIDN'T! NOW STOP INTERUPTING ME!

"Fine," the woodsman dude said.

He turned to the "wolf", and his eyes grew wide.

"Holy cow!" he said. "What a dead sexy lady!"

"WHAT?" the "wolf" cried.

He looked at himself, only to see he accidentally switched back to his Cruxis Leader outfit. He let out a yell and flew away.

"What the heck?" the woodsman dude asked.

Yggy decided to be the wolf.

"Oh…" The woodsman dude muttered. "So, not-so-little girl, where's you grandmother?"

The closet, dumb head.

"Oh," The woodsman dude said again.

He released Granny. A third pointless sentence for you all. I narrate; it's my job.

"Now let's eat!" he said.

And so, Not-so-little White Walking Hood, Granny Phaidra Lynda Inda Banana-Nana-Fo-Fana OMGlookoutahurricane, and the Woodsman Dude all ate lunch and lived happily ever after.

Botta: THE END (Closes book). Now please review.