Title: Four Days, 96 Hours (Chapter 1)
Pairing/Characters: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A look into the four days Arizona and the others spent in the woods, and how Callie and Arizona cope with the aftermath.
Disclaimer: All characters, majority of dialogue, and the original storyline that inspired this piece of fiction belong to ABC, Shonda Rhimes, and all the creators/writers of Grey's Anatomy.
Day 1
Blue eyes shot open. Green leaves dangled from the trees above, and little bits of blue peaked out in between them. Widened eyes, full of fear, glanced around frantically, struggling to take in their surroundings.
Smoke filled her nostrils along with the strong, sickening scent of fuel and burning rubber. She heard faint high-pitched screams in the distance that seemed to be getting closer, and she tried to turn her head in the direction of the screams, unaware they were coming from her.
(6 hours earlier)
"You son of a bitch!" Arizona yelled, marching up to Karev, who was all dressed and ready in his blue jacket and scrubs to get on the plane to Boise. "I had to hear it from Hunt. What? You couldn't even be man enough to tell me yourself?"
She knew she was overreacting, but after the events that had played out throughout the day, she was too pissed to even care. All the pain she'd felt and dealt with had converted into white-hot anger. Another person she cared about deeply was leaving her. Another man she cared about deeply. Thus making three. Her Brother. Nick. And now Karev, her most promising PED's fellow, and someone she's grown to love and care for deeply, no matter how hard he made it to do so.
"Sweetie, she's had a horrible day. I'm so s-," Her wife's words went through one ear and out the other.
"No. You ungrateful crapdog!" Arizona shouted. She was inches away from Karev's face, fury raging in her abnormally dark eyes.
Karev was taken aback, shoving himself up against the wall at his mentor's uncharacteristic outburst. Startled and confused, his eyes flickered to Torres, hoping for some sort of answer as to why Robbins' was acting like a crazy bitch, but from the stunned look on her face, it was clear she was almost just as taken back as he was.
"It's Hopkins!" Karev exclaimed, a bit of frustration lacing his tone along with his shock and confusion. "You went there. You of all people should know that!"
"You are a miserable, miserable bastard."
"Robbins they want me. Alright? They really want me." Karev tried to reason with her. Despite her current selfishness, she was the only person who ever truly believed in him and he wanted her to understand why he had to go.
"Oh," Arizona's mouth dropped open in disbelief as the feeling of betrayal within her grew. "You're actually going?" She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe him, and the nerve he had. She was the reason why Hopkins even wanted him. She helped him become the incredible surgeon he is. And now he's just going to ditch her for some other program? Not to mention he wasn't even planning on telling her about it until the very last minute.
Alex scoffed. "Can we talk about this when I get back?" He wasn't going to do this, at least not now. He had better things to do than argue with his mentor. He was going to Hopkins; with or without her approval.
"No!" Arizona spat, her blood boiling, and without thought she snatched the twins' chart out of Karev's hands.
"What are you doing?"
"No. You are not going to Boise because you no longer represent this hospital!" Arizona raged.
Arizona screamed, in terror. She screamed, hoping against all odds someone would hear her.
She wanted to get up, but she couldn't move. She felt paralyzed in fear, in horror, in terror. So she just screamed. She screamed bloody murder, and watched the leaves above her blowing in the breeze.
She couldn't feel anything, but it was the adrenaline. That she knew. Soon she would feel every movement, every little twitch. And she did – sooner than she thought.
Arizona could feel the adrenaline beginning to wear off, and the stabbing, shooting, throbbing pain in her left leg hit her like a ton of bricks, occupying a large portion of her mind. Her screams became louder, and even louder as the sharp pains in her ribs, and general aching all over her entire body were registered.
Over her screams she heard shouting in the distance from what sounded like two different, female voices. She strained her ears, trying to make out the words.
"Plane crashed…that's…happened…were...in plane…it crashed," Voice one.
"Where…Derek?" Voice two.
Derek.
"He…sucked…out…side…when…hit…trees…back…plane…off…came off," Voice one.
"Lexie was…in…back…plane," Voice two.
Lexie.
"I went…looked…all…see…fricking sky," Voice one.
"Where…she?" Voice two.
"Don't know…only…one shoe!" Voice one.
Derek. Lexie. Who else was on the plane? Arizona couldn't remember. Ignoring the pain in her head, she forced her neck to turn towards the voices. Through her squinted eyes and blurry vision she made out two figures. Both seemed to be wearing light blue scrubs. Residents.
As her vision cleared she realized one of them had dirty blonde hair, and the other – curly, black hair. Arizona shut her eyes, trying to visualize the inside of the plane before it crashed.
There had been a girl in light blue scrubs with blonde hair sitting with Derek – Meredith.
And another girl in light blue scrubs with curly black hair sitting behind Arizona – Cristina.
Lexie, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, and – there was another one, wasn't there?
Arizona squeezed her eyes shut tighter.
Yang was sitting in the seat behind me, Shepherd and Grey were in the seats across from her, Little Grey was behind them in the back, so that leaves…who was sitting next to me?
Glimpses of dark blue scrubs and brownish-greyish hair in the seat next to her flashed through Arizona's mental picture of the plane. Then came snippets of small chats about food, Callie, and Sofia – Mark! Oh, god. Mark.
(7 hours earlier)
Arizona stood outside underneath the overhang in the ambulance bay, watching the rain fall from the sky and splat onto the concrete. The air was humid, and there was a small breeze blowing. The darkness of the night sky, the gloominess of the humidity and rain, and the mood standing in an ambulance bay of a hospital where many people die created matched perfectly with how she was feeling. All she could think about was death. How her brother died, and the pain and guilt she felt for years after; the pain and guilt she still feels to this day. How Nick is going to die, and the pain and guilt from his death that will follow her around for the rest of her life. How, if maybe she hadn't been so preoccupied with herself and her career, and had just picked up the freaking phone more often, Nick wouldn't have waited six goddamn years to get treated.
Arizona's guilt about Tim's death was something she couldn't shake even though she knew there was nothing she could have done to help him, but she could have helped Nick, her best friend. But she didn't. That was on her, and that guilt would haunt her for the rest of her life. But no one would ever know. They didn't need to. To everyone at this hospital she was Arizona Robbins, the confident, smiley, perky, heely wearing head of Pediatrics. They didn't need to know about her dark side.
Arizona stood there, thinking about all the men in her life she'd let down. Tim. Nick. Alex Karev. Her father; she was no longer who he raised her to be.
Tears stung her eyes, and she bit down on her bottom lip. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and took a few deep breaths as she felt panic well up in her chest. The tears she was protesting against tried to fight their way down her cheeks which only made her bite her lip harder and squeeze her eyes shut tighter. She wouldn't allow herself to cry.
Crying was a sign of weakness. That's what Arizona was taught growing up, being a daughter of a marine, but Arizona wasn't weak. She had weak moments, but no one ever saw them. She had never let herself cry in front of others, and when she did, it was rare. Calliope, her beautiful Calliope, was the only person who had ever made her feel safe enough to let her walls down, and she had. Rarely, but she had.
Arizona sniffled, the bay of tears she was holding back becoming too much, too heavy. 'Just a few tears,' she thought. 'Then you stop. You can pass off a few tears as raindrops. You can't pass off a river of them.'
Arizona let a few tears fall, warm as they cascaded down her face. Her lips quivered and her eyes burned, and suddenly there was a river of tears falling from her eyes, much like the rain falling from the sky. The sudden loss of control sent of a wave of panic through her. Her chest tightened, and she let out a tiny whimper as she bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to leave a mark. Before she had time to stop them, she heard footsteps coming up behind her followed by her favorite sound in the world.
"Hey, I just checked in on him, and his vitals are stable. He's sleeping," The combination of her wife's sudden presence at such a vulnerable time, and the mention of her dying best friend sent her emotions running wild. She turned around to face her wife, still biting down on her lip and a couple tears still falling here and there as she tried desperately to control them. Part of her just wanted to give in and collapse into her wife's warm and comforting embrace, but the other part refused to let her see her as weak, broken, or helpless, and that part was the biggest. But somewhere in the middle of grasping control and wanting to give it up, her biggest fear slipped out of her mouth.
"Don't ever leave," she choked out, her voice wavering with the tears of pain she was desperately trying to regain control over.
Her wife's face softened, and a mix of surprise, disbelief, and concern took over. "What?" She asked, her voice was quiet and soft, but the disbelief that her wife could ever think she would leave her was evident.
Arizona looked down as her throat tightened, and she swallowed back a sob before she spoke again. "Don't ever leave," A look of realization came over Callie's face as she put her hands on Arizona's shoulders, and opened her mouth to reassure her anxious and scared partner. "Promise me that right now."
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," Callie assured her, looking right into her wife's unusually dull and pain-filled eyes making sure she heard every word and that they sunk in.
What Arizona didn't know is that Callie could see right through her. She knew when she was upset or when something was bothering her. She always had. Ever since they met. But she knew how much Arizona felt like she needed to be in control, so she never brought up what she thought was wrong or when she thought something was wrong. What she learned is that with Arizona, you need to wait for her to come to you because if you go to her, she'll bite your head off. Callie had learned that the hard way.
"After my brother, I thought 'I can't do this ever again. I won't do this again'. And now, here I am." Looking into Callie's soft and welcoming brown orbs, she felt her need for control fade slightly, as it always did. Oddly, this time, she didn't want, nor feel the need, to regain it. More tears fell from her eyes, and her voice broke with almost every word. What she needed in that moment was her wife to reassure her that she was there, and that she always would be. Even though she felt unbelievably guilty and weak for putting her wife in that position, it's what she needed. She'd have plenty of time to feel guilty about it later.
Arizona felt Callie's grip on her shoulders tighten, and a tingling sensation ripped through her spine. "Okay, whatever you can't do, I will. I'm here -," Arizona let out a whimper, partially in relief and partially still trying to keep hold on some control. "And that's how this works. Okay?" Callie stared into Arizona's eyes for the longest time, waiting for her words to sink in. She wouldn't let go of her until they did. She saw the control in Arizona's eyes fade away, and softly whispered to her, "come here." She wrapped her arms around Arizona's body for support as she collapsed into her.
Letting go of her last bit of control, Arizona melted into Callie as her words sunk in, gripping her tightly, and her body shook as she sobbed onto her shoulder. Her wife's hand rubbing up and down her back and her comforting embrace making her feel much more at ease.
Callie held her tight and close, concern and worry for the woman she loved settling in. She'd never seen her in so much pain, and she honestly had no idea what to do. She had never been the comforter, but she couldn't stand to see Arizona this way, so she just did the only thing she knew to do. She held her, and rubbed her hand up and down her back, whispering soothing nothings in her wife's ear.
Callie and Arizona stood there for some time. Arizona trying to regain control, and Callie comforting her hurting wife and thanking God this would all blow over soon.
Oh, how life turns on a dime.
