12 Days of JayTim
Title: Get It Right
Day 1: Snow
Pairing: JayTim
Rating: T
Warnings: Jason, Language, possible violence
Word Count: 1190
Snippet:
"Do you think we'll ever get this right?" Tim asks quietly though his voice sounds loud as it cuts through the silence that hangs above them.
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"Do you think we'll ever get this right?" Tim asks quietly though his voice sounds loud as it cuts through the silence that hangs above them. He has a busted lip, the deep red a strong contrast on his pale skin as blood dripped down the side of his chin. He could feel the wet cold of the snow seeping through his uniform, chilling his bones and numbing the aching bruises on his back. His pulse had slowly declined after the adrenaline was just a small flame that pumped through his veins, and the need to be up and moving had long passed as the cold embraced him and pulled him down into the icy concrete of the rooftop. He was fairly certain that their blood was staining the snow, and he could only be grateful that it was still snowing.
Tim turned his head to look at his companion, lips slightly parted as puffs of air escaped passed his lips. His blue eyes seemed strangely warm against the icy snow, and they never failed to make Jason's stomach flip. The older man just huffed at him and rolled his eyes.
"It was pretty much guaranteed that we wouldn't from the beginning," he muttered. There was no use sugar-coating it. They didn't fit. Well, at first they had fit together enough in order for the hope to become better was born. But that was false hope. They only got worse from there. Jason sure as hell misses those days that he could just wake up with Tim in his arms and there wouldn't be tension between them at all. Where he could watch him and admire him without worrying about the younger man waking up because he knew they'd get in a fight about something later that day. He missed the days where he could just hold a conversation with Tim and it wouldn't end badly at all.
It seemed that those days were gone.
Tim still tried so hard to make Jason happy, though. God knows how much the kid is head over heels in love with him. He probably loved him when he was dead, and Tim still had the audacity to love him while Jason was beating the shit out of him for the cowl. He could see it in his eyes; dim, but there. Now if that's not dedication, then Jason didn't know what was.
And here he was again, looking at Jason with love clearly in his eyes as he stared at him. Jason guessed that Tim wanted to reach out and touch him, but he didn't, and Jason didn't make a move to indulge him in that wish. They had gotten in a fight before patrol, and there issues transferred out onto the field, which earned them more wounds than were necessary. Hell, Jason even through the punched that split Tim's lower lip in two. He didn't really like looking at him because of that blatant reminder that he had abused Tim. Again. Jason didn't really like to dwell on those events. They just make him angry again, only this time at himself.
"But I still think we can work," Tim spoke quietly, the snow falling from the sky sticking to his hair and dampening the silky strands. Always the trooper.
"Well, that's one of us then," Jason grunted as he looked up into the dark sky, grimacing as the falling crystals fell on his face. Damn things are cold. He's glad he looked away because Tim's tone changed slightly, and Jason didn't want to see the look on his face. He's sure it would make him break and give in to the vicious cycle once more.
"What? You can't tell me you've given up," he said with a hint of defensiveness in his voice. But as he stared at Jason, he received no reply. "Jason, no. You can't just decide this. We can still make this work. We can–"
"Do what? Go back to us yelling at each other every fucking night? Dance around each other like we're a damned motion sensor bomb? Have me beat you again? How many times has it been now, Tim? Huh? No kiss will ever make that shit better, and you know it," he bit out as the cold nipped at his skin. He finally turned his head to look at Tim, his eyes and tone softening a bit, but in defeat. "The pieces don't fit together anymore, Tim. Nothing we can offer each other is worthwhile anymore." Tim shook his head, wincing at the sharp motion because he had hit his head earlier.
"You're wrong. We're just rough around the edges," he tried to persuade.
"Yeah. It's called our personalities. Tim, we. Don't. Work." Jason tried to enunciate every word to get through Tim's skull, but he knew that would be easier said than done because he's certain the kid has a concussion.
"But we–"
"We're done," Jason stated firmly. "You're no longer mine, and I'm no longer yours. I'll be out of your apartment in two days at the latest."
He could see the pain on Tim's face briefly before he masked it, and Jason felt sick to his stomach knowing that he did this to him again. He's leaving. And that was the end of that.
But Tim jerked his arms out and gripped Jason's sleeve when he sat up and made a move to leave.
"Tim, it's a done deal," he sighed.
"No, not that. Just…" Tim licked his lower lip, tasting the copper tang of blood. "Stay and watch the snow with me?" Jason paused and stared down at him.
"… Tim, you have a concussion."
"Doesn't matter. Just… please? Just this once?" he asked hopefully, readjusting his grip on Jason's jacket. Jason stared down at him for a while before he sighed and sat back down next to him.
"Fine," he said, and he looked straight ahead over the city. And Tim, he just curled against the older man's arm and whispered a soft "thank you" as he let his cheek rest on the man's shoulder.
Jason wasn't sure how long they stared at the snow as it slowly made its descent upon the city. Couldn't have been more than an hour. But he let Tim lie against his shoulder the entire time. He could only think of what would happen now.
Tim would overwork himself, make sure that he had more than he could handle in a stressful week, and he would practically live in WE. He'd probably start to forget how to eat so Dick would most likely keep an eye on him if Jason asked 'nicely'. And Tim would just work himself to a breakdown because he'd try and figure out what exactly went wrong because he knew "it could work out somewhere and somehow," and he'll be devastated because he somehow miscalculated.
But Jason also knew that Tim could watch the snowfall in peace. Watch as the white blankets the ground all around at a gradual pace. Without having to worry about where Jason is and when he'll be back. Because Jason's never coming back.