The base for this story is "what would have happened if Fitz never joined the field with Simmons?" Originally, it was supposed to be a one shot but as I started working on it, I realized there was too much I wanted to tell so in the end I think it will be at least twelve chapters :D I have the whole story laid out, I just need to write more chapters and I'll try to keep them coming as often as possible :) The whole thing is an AU set around the end of season 1 and even though other characters will be a bit more present than in my previous stories, it will still be centered on FitzSimmons! It is labelled Romance and hurt/comfort but it will also have a good dose of fun (at least I hope you'll find it fun !
Hope you'll enjoy it and as always reviews are most welcome :)
Of course all characters belong to Marvel !

"We looked so young in this picture" Jemma thought as she stopped on what probably was her favorite one of her and Fitz while swiping across the photo gallery on her phone. It's been taken only a year ago but so much had happened since then that somehow it felt like it's been an eternity. Jemma had taken it during a conference where they went to back when they were both working at Sci-Ops. Fitz didn't even look at the camera, instead he was looking at her with that really soft expression he seemed to reserve for her. She had never been able to capture that before and she missed it so much that it almost hurt to look at the picture now.

Two months after the photo was taken, they received the proposition to go work on the field and join Coulson's team. Jemma immediately thought it was a fantastic opportunity. Being on a mobile team with legends such as Phil Coulson and Melinda May was a huge honor for any SHIELD agent, especially for the two young scientists they were. But a few weeks after that, when they were due to give their answer, Fitz told her he wouldn't go and they had the biggest worst fight they've ever had in seven years of friendship. She always knew he wasn't as adventurous as she was and he never liked the idea of going to the field but she never thought he'd turn down such an opportunity, especially when it meant they weren't going to work together anymore. Since they were paired up during their first year at the academy, they became inseparable. They worked so well together that everyone ended up calling them FitzSimmons like they were both just one half of the same individual, and it often felt like it was true.

So when he gave her the news, it took her breath away. There was a lot of shouting and there was some crying but in the end, none of them changed their mind. Fitz kept repeating that they were scientists, that they didn't even pass their physical evaluation and that the field was just too dangerous for them. And Jemma just couldn't let that opportunity pass. And as sad and miserable as they were at the idea of being separated, they went to the sci-ops director together and told him that Jemma would go and Fitz would stay. Like everyone who knew them, he was incredibly surprised by the news.

When the day of Jemma's departure came, they were both smart enough to know that it was too late to change the other's mind and that they should just enjoy how little time they had left before they were separated, knowing perfectly well that they probably wouldn't see each other again for a long time.

FitzSimmons' apartment, Boston, 8 months ago

"So do you have everything ?" Fitz asked, hovering awkwardly around her as she was making her way towards the door of their shared apartment for what probably was the last time.

"Yeah I think so. And I don't think I can add a single thing to my suitcases anyway." She said with a small smile, pointing towards the three really big wheeled suitcases she was carrying.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you to the airport?" He asked with what she thought was an hopeful smile. And as tempting as it was, she knew that the longer they delayed their goodbyes, the harder it would get.

"No that's alright. And anyway it's not a public airport, I don't think they'll let anyone in that's not supposed to be here." She said and there was a flicker of something in his eyes, sadness or guilt she couldn't be sure, but it was soon replaced by a happier expression, even though it was obviously a little forced.

"Oh by the way, I packed a little something extra in one of those suitcases." He said with a small mischievous smile.

"Oh?" She said, curious.

"Yeah, I've been working on it for the last few weeks and I managed to finish just in time for your departure." He started and whatever it was, she smiled at the idea that he actually spent weeks working on something for her even if it still felt like he was mad at her some days. "I made you a full set of dwarves with all the latest modifications." He finished and she felt her eyes starting to sting but she fought the tears that threatened to fall.

"Oh Fitz" She said, like she had said thousands of time since they met. Sometimes it was in exasperation or annoyance, sometimes it was in amusement but this time it was definitely in absolute fondness. The dwarves were a set of seven miniature drones Fitz had created to be used in the field and that Jemma had helped him modify to add new features. "It must have taken you so much time. You didn't have to do that." She said, letting go of her suitcases for a moment to get closer to him.

"Oh that's nothing, and they were created for the field anyway, it's only logical that you should use them." He said, looking down a little shyly. "And anyway, you're gonna need cool toys if you wanna make friends at your new job!" He said with a mischievous smile and they both laughed good-hearteadly.

"Also, that'll give you something to remember me by when you're busy acting all badass on the field." He added and even though he meant it half as a joke, the tears threatened to fall again and she felt such a wave of tenderness for him at this moment that she couldn't help taking him in her arms for a tight hug. She had promised herself that she wouldn't get too emotional but there had always been something in his eyes that had the power to make her tear up so easily, even in moments that were a lot less emotional than this one. For a moment, he went a little rigid and she feared that the hug was too much but then he returned it and held her even closer.

"Fitz, I won't need anything to remember you. You know I'll think of you all the time." She said, her voice a little muffled by the fact that her face was all snuggled against his sweater.

"Yeah ..." He said, his voice as shaky with emotion as hers.

"I'm going to miss you so much but we'll write to each other all the time and call each other and I'm sure I'll manage to come see you at sci-ops once in a while." She said and they both knew it was wishful thinking but he still nodded positively. She would have gladly stayed that way for the rest of the day. Fitz's hugs weren't a frequent thing but they were always the best because when he hugged you, he really meant it. But then her phone biped, alerting her that her taxi was waiting for her outside. Reality was calling. So he let her go but not before gently kissing her on the forehead and telling her he'd miss her too. In seven years of being her best friend, he'd never done that and it was such a tender gesture that it was almost enough for her to change her mind altogether. But she knew she couldn't do that so she gave him the happier smile she could muster, dried her eyes and picked up her suitcase again. He came down with her to help her put her suitcases in the boot of the taxi and gave her one last short hug before she went into the car. As the car was driving away and she looked back to wave at him, she forced herself not to cry again, she couldn't start her new assignment looking like she's been crying all day!

A few days later, when she unpacked the dwarves to use them on the field for the first time, she realized that the fifth dwarf, the one that was Grumpy in the original set, had been named Fitz. And she was glad that she was alone at the time because it made her laugh aloud and cry at the same time and she must have looked like a crazy woman.

-0-0-0-

The first few weeks on the Bus -as they called the plane that was her new home- were a little hard on Jemma. May and Ward were a bit cold but them being specialists, it was to be expected. Mack, the engineer slash mechanic they had recruited to replace Fitz was a good one and a nice man too, but she soon realized that he was nowhere near as smart as Fitz was and they just didn't click like she did with Fitz. Coulson was a nice friendly man and he was really impressed by her. Skye was new to SHIELD and she wasn't even an official agent then but she was the closest to her age and it was hard not to like her with her fun and easy going personality. But she still felt terribly lonely. Fitz's emails and phone calls were like a balm to her heart and once after an especially long and hard day, she even considered asking to leave the team to go back to sci-ops to work with him.

But as time went, she got to know her team better and became friends with most of them. She adjusted to life on the field and she had to admit that their missions were as fascinating as she thought they would be. Months went by and as bad she missed Fitz, their emails and phone calls became less frequent. Things became more complicated and her missions more dangerous and as Fitz got more responsibilities at sci-ops, they just didn't have the time to get in touch as often anymore. Still, there wasn't a day where she didn't think of him, wether it was a joke she said that only him would have understood or a technical problem she knew he could have fixed in no time. But the worst were the few times she really needed a hug, like when Skye was badly injured, and she knew he would have been the only one able to make her feel better.

And then, there was Hydra.

When it all went down, Jemma was with agent Triplett at the Hub. The team had met him and Garrett during a mission not long ago. Once she was reunited with her team and they all discovered that Garrett was Hydra all along and that they could apparently trust agent Triplett, her mind went to Fitz. They soon learned that Sci-ops was controlled by Hydra. A few scientists were lucky enough to escape during the attack or just not be there at the time and had retreated to the Hub once they knew it was under the control of SHIELD and Victoria Hand. The others were either prisoner, had declared their loyalty to Hydra or were dead. Jemma refused to consider the last possibility and even though Coulson told her that she had to at least consider the possibility of him being Hydra, she knew it just couldn't be. Fitz was the most loyal person she ever knew and he was also incredibly smart and resourceful so she had to believe that he found a way to survive.

Jemma pleaded Coulson to go to Sci-Ops for a rescue mission but they just didn't have the men and resources for that at the time. Then, like they didn't suffer enough, they took another blow when they realized that Ward was Hydra and working with Garrett all along. Things were as bad as they could be for a time but then, the team, with the addition of agent Triplett, managed to stop them both and with Fury's toolbox and the Playground, they were starting to rebuild SHIELD.

As she stood in the briefing room waiting for the rest of the team, Jemma reflected upon everything that's happened and she couldn't quite believe that it's only been three weeks since Hydra revealed itself. But on the other hand, three weeks was a terribly long time if Fitz was their prisoner. In the months prior to the attack, they've stayed longer than that without giving each other's news but at least, she always knew he was safe. Who knows what they could have done to him during all this time. Now, the worry was eating her up from the inside and she's barely been able to eat or sleep in the last few days.

So she had taken a decision.

Coulson said no to a rescue mission at Sci-ops several times, each time telling her they didn't have the resources and she understood that. But whatever today's briefing was about, she would go to Coulson after it and ask him again one more time, hoping that things were different now that they had the Playground and a few more agents. And if he still said no, she would leave SHIELD and try to find him on her own. She could go undercover, declare her "loyalty" to Hydra and find a way to get him out. She would do anything humanly possible to get him back, he was the best friend she ever had and it just wasn't possible for her to abandon him.

As she heard the voices of the others approaching, she put her phone away, dried the tear that she didn't even know had fallen as she was looking at the picture, and put a smile on her face just in time to welcome her friends.

A few minutes later, Coulson joined them and the briefing began.

"Everyone, we have a new mission." He started, talking to everyone present but looking especially at Jemma. "It's going to be especially dangerous so I will not order anyone to come. I will brief you and then everyone else at the base and you'll be free to volunteer for it but there'll be no hard feeling if you don't." He continued and they all looked at each other with wide eyes, even May. It really was not regular to do such a thing within SHIELD but then again, things weren't really normal these days.

After a few seconds, May was the one to talk first.

"So what's the mission?" She asked in her usual neutral tone.

"We're getting Sci-Ops back"