The Past's Haunting

Pairing: Eren x Mikasa, EreMika, MikaEre, call it what you want but it's love.

Setting: Canon-verse, after the happenings of the current chappies

Summary: Eren relives through a nightmare the hell he experienced six years ago – only this time it wasn't his mother, but someone equally if not more beloved. It was Mikasa, raised in the arms of a Titan, death inevitable as fear petrified Eren like it did when he was a child.

…

The world in red of flames and blood.

That was the world Eren Jaeger's eyes flutter open to - flickers of smoke slithering through the air, reaching up to the crimson sky, but never really quite making it; homes in rubble and ruin; fire ravaging, a gluttonous monster devouring everything in its path, leaving only ash in its wake. Most unbearable were the screams, a madman orchestra of cries of help, pain, anguish, and pure terror.

For a moment, Eren thought he'd died and this – this must've been hell.

But if hell can only be found in the afterlife, this couldn't have been it, for he had really lived this scene and memorized it in his nightmares, though he lived it only once. Once was more than enough.

Eren remembered fully well the fear that petrified his entire body. The perishing world looked so much bigger, so much less tameable. He looked at his hands and found them small and gentle, untainted by the rigors of training. He was his ten-year-old self again, helpless and afraid.

He was surrounded by the chaos that rattled the streets, the stone paths of the reluctantly abandoned home he thought he'd never get to see again. Whilst everyone else ran the opposite direction, feet willed to carry them to safety in one last leap of desperation, Eren couldn't find the courage to control his body.

Before him was a scene like poison in his thoughts, the sting able to course through his entire body, reverberating in his soul. He never wanted to forget it; it drove him on to pursue the path of a soldier. But he just wanted to remember that it happened, not relive the scene over and over again.

He knew exactly what was going to happen.

The Smiling Titan would come, its heavy footsteps making the earth shudder, the smile on its face an insult to the destruction it was about to disseminate. And under the debris of his fallen home, with crushed feet and paralysis making an easy target for the malevolent giant, was someone Eren treasured dearly, loved as much as his young heart could, it was –

"Eren!" Mikasa screamed from under the rubble, her uniform stained, Maneuver Gear crushed along with her legs. She reached her arms out, and he realized they were the only things she could move at the moment. Tears rimmed her dark eyes.

Eren's chest constricted a little tighter, his body almost complete stone in paralysis. Her constant pleading was like stabs of ice shards on his chest, every 'please,' every 'help,' one painful, cold, stab at a time. And yet he could do nothing.

Just stand in fear, the pounding of his heart drowning out every whimper, every scream his consciousness could muster.

This is a nightmare, he finally thought, a sick and cruel nightmare. But he remembered how the same Titan actually did come back for another round of devouring someone he held dear, and for a moment he thought it had finally gone back for Mikasa.

It almost happened then, how impossible was it for it to happen again?

And he was helpless, so utterly helpless and afraid, watching the giant hands grasp Mikasa from under the rubble, being eased gently to a morbid death. Eren was practically blinded with tears, but he could still watch the look on her face, finally calm and wistful, smiling even. She mouthed a goodbye before the titan slowly but surely closed his mouth and –

Darkness.

Eren's eyes flutter open to reality, and it was darkness. His green eyes widen and adjust until he could finally recognize the dim outlines of the room, the intersections of wood that made it up and dead light of the candle beside him.

His heart really was pounding as bad as in his dream – no, his nightmare, and he was heaving, drenched in sweat all over. He rose to sitting position and wiped the sweat that trickled down his temples and tried to relax his breathing.

It was still in the middle of the night and his companions in the room – Armin, Connie and Jean, were all sound asleep. He hoped that nightmares didn't come visit them.

It was a strange sudden sense of desire, but he got up to his feet, body trembling, and relit the half fire-eaten candle. He just knew he wouldn't ease the sudden emptiness that dwelled in his chest, so he stealthily made his way out of the room, the slight creaking of the door the only sound made.

Out in the corridors there was a slight draft, and in his sweat soaked shirt Eren shivered, relishing the slight heat the candle gave off. A few steps more and he was in front of the door to the girls' room, and with suppressed hesitation he grabs the knob and eases the door ajar, just enough for him to see Mikasa.

From the very little light the moon let slip through their open window, Eren could see Mikasa's outline, the fray of her ebony hair against the pillow, the rising and falling of her chest under the cotton covers. The peaceful look in her face drove his anxiety away, and he had to smile.

She was safe now. Nothing to worry about.

He gently shut the door and made his way back to his room, back to a dreamless sleep, unbeknownst to him that she had sensed him, and with slightly opened eyes saw his face glowing in the timid candlelight. And like how the candle was the source of warmth for Eren, he was the source of warmth for her, that night.

He laid back in bed, still a little haunted and unnerved, but his vow ever stronger. He tried to suppress the new fears that started to bubble up from his guts and tried to welcome the lull of sleep. Now he was afraid more than ever to be weak, not strong enough to protect the people he loved, specially Mikasa. He knew he wouldn't be able to stand it, the scene that could've been shown to him before he shuddered awake.

Her death, painful, her blood like rain trickling in the air.

He had never felt this strongly for Mikasa before, and he began to regret every ounce of annoyance he ever felt, every incidence he pushed her away, irritated at her seeming invincibility. But she wasn't invincible, the latest course of events proof enough.

She could as easily break, if she wasn't careful, if he was too incompetent.

So before he close his to sleep's embrace, he knew he couldn't be incompetent. He had to be strong and dauntless, for the fear the future presents otherwise was unbearable.

They were going to stay together, he was going to make sure of that.

...

Thanks for reading and I hope you guys liked it. I've been itching real bad to make EreMika fics because I freakin' love this ship. I also have to remember that Chapter 50 did happen, and it wasn't fanmade. We're getting to close to canonization! So cheers to us, but for now, let's enjoy these fanfics, shall we?

Lemme me know what you think, a review would be appreciated!