HIT THE DECK!
This story takes place in Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts. Let's see what's happening:
In the Great Hall of Hogwarts, there was a LOT of commotion. "Hit the deck! Hit the deck! There's a bomb!" someone cried. A pureblood, who didn't understand what they meatn, said, "What deck?!" Finally, someone said something they all could understand. "Take cover!" Just then, Cedric Diggory walked in and questioned, "What bomb? It's just a little bouncy ball." He picked it up and as his girlfriend, Cho Chang, screamed, "NO!" the small bomb blew up in his hand and gave him a third-degree burn. "OUCH! MY HAND!" Cho ran to take Cedric to the Hospital Wing on the fourth floor. Since Cedric had dropped the bomb, everyone was going ballistic, and the bomb had landed at Snape's feet, and he had given a very high-pitched girlish scream. Harry covered the bomb with someone's purse and took shelter. Madame Maxime, Beauxbaton's headmistress, strolled in, looked at the purse, and there was a small pop. She then yelled, "Zat wuz zee bomb?! Eet merely blew up a purse!" Next, she put the purse aside, picked up the bomb, held it up to her face, and there was a huge BOOM. With a blackened face and her hair standing on end, (literally), she shouted, "HIT ZE DECK!" The bomb was on the floor again, and ther5e was huge pandemonium. Again, Harry ran to cover up the bomb with the purse, but this time, he laid flat on his stomach, put his head on his arms, and just watched the bomb. "Harry, I think you'd better get out of there," Hermione said nervously. Harry replied, "Don't worry, I'm a professionaul at this." At that exact second, Hermione ran, and the bomb blew up in Harry's face, giving him the same look as MAdame Maxime. Harry was stiff as a board and was unable to get up or walk. Hermione walke dto him and was about to say, "I told you," but Harry cut her off and said, "Don't you say anything." And Hermione tried not to. Harry lifted the top part of his body with his arms and hands and half crawled, half dragged himself towards Dumbledore's office, bomb in hand. About halfway there, he saw Malfoy, his mortal enemy. Malfoy gaped at him and managed to shout in amusement, "POTTER?!" Harry Snarled at him and warned him menacingly, "Don't you do anything, Malfoy, I've got the bomb right here." Malfoy doubled over and howled with laughter and Harry threw the bomb at him, and it burned an enormous hole in Malfoy's shirt. Malfoy was filled with anger and depression. "POTTER," he said in a whiney way, "my mymmy made me that shirt!" Harry couldn't believe his ears and out of incredible shock said, "Mummy?" Malfoy, who was very embarrassed, thought up a quick reply. "That's what I call my... grandmother, yeah." Smiling and bursting to tell this to Hermione and Ron, he finally made it to Dumbledore's office. The headmaster was surprised to see him in this way. "Harry! What happened?" Harry told him everything and finished with, "I've got the bomb right here, Professor." Dumbledore, with a bit of worry in his expression said, "Oh, could you get it out of here?" Harry threw it down the staircase and it hit Snape (who was going to see Dumbledore) squarely in the face, and made him look as if he had been painted in black. "PO-POTTER!" he yelled in rage. "Oh dear, get down Harry," said Dumbledore. "I'd hate for you to get in trouble with Severus." Harry laid flat on his stumach and Dumbledore covered him with one of the many rugs in his office and just then, Snape wlaked in. "How may I assist you, Severus? And, I hope you don't mind me asking, um, what happened to your face?" asked Dumbledore as politely as he could. Snape answered, "I was just coming up to see you to ask you a question about the tournament." Dumbledore replied questioningly, "And what would that be?" But Snape had just noticed the lumy rug that hid Harry. "My, that is quite a rug you have sur, do you mind if I sit down?" And, he sat down on Harry, who was not thinking: Snape REALLY needs to go on a diet, because he weighs about 300 pounds! "I'd rather you not do that," said Dumbledore, and snape got up and strode out of the room. Dumbledore lifted the rug to find Harry completely flattened by Professor Snape. "I'll go now, sir," said Harry, but Dumbledore stopped him and returned him to walking state. (Since Snape had gotten the worse BOOM, the bomb is gone.)
The next day, everything changed, "HIT THE DECK! HIT THE DECK! THERE'S ANOTHER BOMB!" Ron, who was in the showers at the time bustled out, in fear of being bloan to smithereens, with his hair sopping wet, and still smelling like soap, pulling up his pants so high that they were practically up to his neck and yelling, "HIT THE DECK! HIT THE DECK!" About 10 seconds afterward, somebody yelled, "Fals alarm!" Ron, who was both angry and embarrased said in an annoyed tone, "I was fixing my hair!" and he ran his fingers through his hair girlishly. "Well, Ron, you fix your hair in an oddway then, because I fix mine like this," said Hermione, and she poffed it up from the bottom. That night in the gryffindor common room, Hermione and ron were the only ones in, and Hermione was having a fun time teasing Ron about the "bath incident". Hermione, whose backside was facing the portrait hole, pulled down her pajama pants to reveal her underwear. "HERMIONE! SHOW SOME DECENCY!" said Ron in a very shocked way. "Well, I'm imitating you." At that very second, Harry walked in and stared at Hermione's rear end. "HARRY!" shouted Ron. "What?" Harry asked. Hermione pretended that she hadn't noticed, though she had a touch of embarrassment in her expression and pulled her pajama pants up very, very, VERY high and in her highest voice said, "HIT THE DECK! HIT THE DECK! AHHH!" in a mocking way and she threw herself on the couch as if she was jumping out of the way of something. Harry and Hermione howled and doubled over with laughter, as Ron just laughed, and they all went to bed.
The End