1.

"I heard she failed her NEWTs."

"Are you kidding me? She got two scholarships for higher order magical education."

"I heard it was three; one in France. Merlin only knows why she's still here. If I were given a free portkey to live in Paris…"

"Someone said she didn't receive enough NEWTs for the courses she wanted."

"So she came back to resit them?"

"How do you suppose she got scholarships if she didn't get O's in everything, dimwit? I reckon she's on the staff."

"That could be true; she was top student last year, remember? Brilliant mind."

"Brilliant mind? Talking about me again, ladies?"

With a cocky sort of smirk, Sirius Black invited himself along with his best friend James Potter into the group of girls at the Griffindor table. The crowd parted willingly for them as they took their places on the bench between two girls who looked as though Christmas had come early. Most the girls simpered and giggled at Sirius's remark, others casting jealous glances at the girls on either side of the two boys, although one girl snorted derisively.

"Hardly, Black."

"Nice to see you too, Jacobs," Sirius replied, coolly as ever.

The girl, Carlotta Jacobs, merely smirked, turning her sights to his companion. "Oi Potter, got them Quidditch drafts up yet?"

James lounged casually in his seat, observing the girl beside him as she rubbed her self against him almost scandalously. "Give me time, Jacobs," he muttered. "It's the first bloody day back… What's your name?" he added smoothly, now speaking to the girl with her hand on his thigh.

"You," Carlotta spat at the female in question. "Bugger off to your own table. All of you, piss off," she added harshly.

The girls pouted woefully bit did as they were asked, the remaining Griffindor girls scooting further down the table so as not to face the wrath of Carlotta Jacobs.

"Nice," Sirius muttered, watching over his shoulder as the girl from beside him returned to the Hufflepuff table. "Real nice, Jacobs."

James looked equally unimpressed, fixing her with a deadly glare.

"Ah, bugger off yourselves," she grunted.

Carlotta Jacobs; sixth year prefect and beater for the Griffindor Quidditch team. Carlotta remained the only girl in the school that seemed to be immune to the charms of Sirius Black and James Potter and for that reason they had never paid her much attention. At this time Quidditch remained a highly male dominated spot, even at school, but the day she had requested a try out from James was the day he would remember as the one he almost wet himself from laughing too much. In fact, not that he would ever tell anyone, he did actually leak a bit of wee.

Carlotta Jacobs was a squat, brad shouldered, red faced, frizzy haired brunette who looked as though she couldn't tell one end of a broom from the other. James had turned her away without so much as a second glance. In retaliation Carlotta had sent three successive bludgers at his head from the stands during practice that afternoon, leaving him unconscious in the hospital wing for five days. On the sixth she requested another try out. How could he refuse? She was brilliant.

"So," Sirius tried being friendly this time. "How were your holiday's, Jacobs?"

"Like you give a shit," she replied nonchalantly before turning to James again. "You checked out the teachers table, Potter? Pilfering Felix Felicis from the potions room again? Merlin only knows how you got so lucky."

James gave her a curious stare before glancing to his left in the direction of the long table at the far end of the hall. The same teachers he had been taught by last year were present, all except two. McGonagall would be obviously tending to the first years, but as for the other- "Flitwick's gone. So what?"

She scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Better get your prescription updated specky," she taunted. "See who's replacing him?"

James and Sirius both turned toward the teacher's table this time. A slender figure stood talking to Dumbledore; James could have easily mistaken her for a student with her plain black robes and youthful appearance. The formal pointed hat she wore gave her away as a Professor however, though it hid her face and hair, which was either very short or tied back.

Still, he didn't see what the fuss was about, and was about to voice this to Carlotta when suddenly the hall fell silent and James whipped his head around to see that Professor McGonagall was entering the hall, two lines of petrified looking first years in her wake. Movement further down the table caught his attention and James spotted Remus waving to him, with Peter by his side. They must have arrived just in time (Peter had missed the train and Remus had offered to wait for him in the entrance hall).

The opening ceremony proceeded as normal and James clapped with the rest of the school as each new student was appointed his or her house. He tried to see who the new Professor was but McGonagall had positioned herself right in his line of sight. He tried craning his neck as much as he could but found that he almost slipped off the bench and so gave up rather quickly. It wasn't until half way though Dumbledore's formal address that James finally discovered the identity of the new teacher.

"…Students, staff, may I introduce to you your new Charms Professor; Miss Lily Evans…"

And James finally slipped off the bench.