This was written as the result of insomnia and depression.
So I made Reid suffer. :'D
This is set after Reid and Morgan got together in my mentality, just fyi.
May be slightly AU, idk.
Anyway.
Disclaimer: I don't own CM.
"Derek, can I come over?" Derek heard a low, slow voice at the other end of the phone.
"Bad day?" Derek asked.
"Really bad day." The voice croaked.
"Can you drive yourself?" Derek asked, honestly concerned.
"I'm walking over right now."
"In the rain?"
"It's not sunny out, is it?"
"Good point. Want me to order something?"
"I'm really not hungry. Some coffee would be nice, though."
"Already on the pot. I'll see you in a bit baby."
Click.
There was a knock at the door. Derek quickly moved to answer it.
Standing in the doorway wasn't Spencer Reid, it wasn't that happy-go-lucky genius with big brown eyes and a goofy grin. Brown orbs were replaced with dark, swollen, black shadows. A goofy grin replaced with a quivering stone-cold frown. Jokes and statistics replaced with mumbles and depressing drawls. Good hours of sleep replaced with insomnia. Great memories and happy dreams replaced with horrible, unforgotten memories and nightmares. A wrinkly sweater-vest and black pants replaced with a worn out sweatshirt and baggy jeans.
Well, at least his socks weren't matching.
These were Spencer's really bad days. Days that he couldn't be trusted to sit through himself. Days that if are to happen, he is to call his trusty "knight in shining armor." the second the depression hits. Days where "talking about it." rarely helps. The only prescription was a few cups of coffee, a warm blanket, and a shoulder to cry on.
It wasn't the 'manly' thing to do. The 'manly' thing to do would be to go work it off at the gym. The 'manly' thing to do would be to drink the undying pain away until he slipped into a drunken rage, not caring about whom he hurt in the process, not even himself.
No, it wasn't the 'manly' thing to do. It was the 'sane' thing to do. Everyone needs quiet, coffee drinking, warm-blanket wielding, crying-on-someone's-shoulder days, Rossi had told Spencer. No matter how 'manly' or 'tough' someone was.
The first time Spencer had experienced a deep, melancholy depression such as ones like these, happened not too long after the Tobias incident. It was after Spencer had mostly gotten over Dilaudid, but not quite enough. Back then, Spencer and Derek were far from together. Spencer had endured his first, and worst, episode of depression by himself, barely making it out alive. The episode had lasted about two weeks, and he finally found comfort in JJ, who forced him to stay with her until he felt better. After the episode, he went back to his house. He was told strictly that, if he was to feel this way again, he is to call JJ right away.
When JJ got pregnant, though, Spencer's occasional episodes of depression were left to be monitored by Garcia. In her care, the depression episodes length decreased greatly, only lasting a couple of days. Kevin understood, and actually thought of Spencer as 'A really cool guy' and trusted him. But when Derek and Spencer got together, Derek insisted he take over Depression Duty.
Now, the episodes only lasted one to two days at the most, and only showed up about once every three months. But they felt horribly long, the minutes felt like hours, days felt like weeks.
There was a major difference between Spencer's 'bad days' and 'really bad days'. On bad days, Spencer still laughed or smiled when a joke was made or a compliment was given. On really bad days, smiling seemed to be strictly off-limits, let alone laughing. On bad days, food was still eaten. Coffee wasn't the only source of hydration. On really bad days, it was quite the opposite. On bad days, Spencer could still get up, make himself look halfway as decent, and drive to the store to pick up a gallon of Ben and Jerry's. On really bad days, when Spencer got up, it was only to go to Derek's. Looking decent wasn't even on his mind. On bad days, Spencer talked. Even if it was just a little. On really bad days, well, you get the idea.
They had been sitting on Derek's couch, Clooney at Spencer's feet, for five hours, watching whatever was on. Derek stayed away from things that could provoke emotion. Eventually, Derek found a science show, and looked back at Spencer for any recognition. Nothing, his eyes didn't even move. It secretly broke Derek's heart, but he would never let Spencer know that.
This was usually the middle of the episode, Derek gauged. He had broken up the episodes into three stages. Stage One, which was entering the episode, when Spencer would still talk when he had to. He still moved, usually only to get coffee or go to the bathroom, or to readjust his sitting position.
Stage Two, the Middle Stage, when the depression was the deepest. No physical contact is made. You can forget about verbal. He stays in one position, never moving. It could be comparable to a Petit-Mal seizure, but he still reacted to things like door slamming, the phone ringing, or Clooney barking. Not anything big, just usually some type of recognition, like his eyes twitching or small body movements. He was just deep in his own thoughts, Derek figured. This stage seemed to be, undoubtedly, the longest.
Stage Three, The Final Stage, exiting the episode. It is much like the first stage, but it's usually slept into. Spencer would fall asleep at the end of Stage Two, and wake up into Stage Three. This depression was more of a Bad Day sort of depression. He shows emotion, moves, recognizes things, does things on his own.
Spencer Reid was not an extremely dependent person, not at all. But near the end of Stage One, doing things on his own seemed to be near impossible.
After awhile, Derek noticed pressure on his arm, which was a burned out, fast asleep Spencer. Derek laughed, and Clooney looked up at him. In about fifteen minutes, Spencer would wake up and smile at Derek, and/or make a comment about what was on TV. Spencer would get up, make a remark about how dark it was, turn on the lights, and open the curtains. Derek would flinch, and Spencer would laugh. Clooney would get up and sit by his food bowl, and Derek would get up and feed him. Spencer would rummage through the cupboards and fix a ginormous bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats or Ramen Noodles. Derek would have the same thing, and then they would sit back on the couch and talk about what was on, or when they thought Rossi was going to divorce his current wife next. Derek would send Garcia the two-hour-clearance-text, (just so she wouldn't barge in while Spencer was asleep or something of that matter,) and she would rush over with some type of treat for Spencer to obliviously devour. They would talk and laugh and smile, as if the past twenty-eight hours just didn't happen. Spencer might stay the night, or leave awhile later. He usually stayed.
Derek really liked to think that this was a normal thing. He really did.
But there was always that thought at the back of his mind.
What if next time Spencer doesn't call?
What if next time, Spencer forgets about his job, his mom, and all the people that love him? What if next time, Spencer doesn't show up at work, and Derek, being the worried boyfriend he is, goes to Spencer's house to see what's up, only to find...
"Derreeeeek." Spencer sang and waved his hand in front on Derek's face. "Come back to Earth, it's not too bad down here." Spencer said and grinned. Derek was forced out of his thought. He laughed.
"Shut up, Pretty Boy." Derek said and grinned.
The thought always stuck in the back of Derek's mind, but he liked to brush it off. After all, the episodes were normal. Spencer would always call Derek if the depression hit.
Right?
Okay, sorry if you got depressed.
I actually liked this a lot. I never can write a acceptable story without a ton of dialogue in it, and this actually worked out.
Reviews are looooooooved as usual! :DDDD