First up this is our first stories so please don't burn my house down with your flames and please review.
Disclaimer: Naruto and everything related to it belongs to masashi kishimoto, we only own the ocs.
Erolyin - im lyin the batshit crazy one
Hichisan – and im hichi ask your momma who I am.
Erolyin – so who's the idiot and who's sadistic?
Hichisan – read and find out dammit.
Erolyin – review and screw u hichi!
…
(Strangling sounds)
…
Chapter 1
LYINS P.O.V
I was having one weird ass dream; I was dreaming I was pissing. I mean how the fuck did I end up dreaming I was pissing? What was even crazier was the fact that the dream felt so life like. I actually felt like I was pissing and oddly enough I felt something wet trickling down my leg. Ok hold up a moment…what the fuck was that clicking sound and who the hell was laughing. Ignoring all of this cause I was sleepy as a motherfucker.
"Stop changing channels I'm tryna sleep" I muttered stupidly, assuming the noise was coming from the TV in my room.
Wait a minute…my eyes flew open revealing my eldest brother Bakaru standing there laughing his ass off camera and all. Why was my sheet soggy? Again ignoring this, I shouted at the top of my lungs:
"Dude what the fuck are you doing in my room?
"…."
"Why the fuck do you have a camera?"
"…."
"Why the fuck is my hand in warm water?" I mean really? Really? I'm noticing this now? Anyways.
"You're dead you blonde haired motherfucker"(ignoring the fact that I was blonde as well )
"You gotta catch me first lyinny boy"
"No need" I said pointing at the door cause at that moment my twin, Hichi, came in his face contorted with rage. At first I thought he came in just to find out what the commotion was about, he's not a morning person and if I was the reason he woke up the fact that he was the younger and more calm of the two of us wouldn't matter when he was beating the living crap outta me. Luckily his pants were wet too so I wasn't the only one bakaru pranked. We were 17 and he was 23 but that wasn't gonna change the fact that he was gonna get his ass kicked. He tried to run but we cornered him near the stairs and beat him to a pulp. I did a feint and he screamed, very loudly I might add. Hichi took the camera , went through the pictures yanked the memory card out and broke it no one needed to know about this. We got up leaving bakaru looking like he was just in a traffic accident. We went into our rooms showered , changed and went downstairs for breakfast passing bakaru on the stairs it looked like he had passed out from the pain at some point, the dumbass.
END P.O.V
"Morning mom, dad." Hichi and Lyin chorused together.
"Good morning boys where's your brother?" Misato and Kagura Namikaze asked their sons.
"He's momentarily incapacitated. "They said sharing a look.
"Okay, but before you eat I want to know who was screaming out curse words about 20 minutes ago?" their dad Misato asked, he asked but his eyes were affixed on Lyin, he already knew he just needed confirmation.
"It was Lyin" Hichi pointed out.
"Snitch"
"How many times have I told you, you need to carry yourself in an appropriate manner? You are a Namikaze one of the most prestigious Japanese families in the world, but instead you… "
Lyin was rolling his eyes and his mother hit him in the head with a slice of toast.
"Insist on being a smart ass" Misato finished for her.
".. it with me a merry ca. "
"Do you want me to reach over this table and smack the respect into you?" Misato asked.
"No"
"Good you're grounded 2 weeks."
Lyin just sighed.
"By the way why was Bakaru screaming like a baby" their mother Kagura inquired.
Lyin quickly spotted a way to get some payback on Hichi for snitching on him.
"Because Hichi beat him up"
"Why"
"For no reason at all"
"I'm sure there was a reason"
"Nope none at all" Lyin said determined to let Hichi take the fall.
Hichi just sat there eating his breakfast.
"Well I doesn't matter you guys fight all the time and nobody ever gets really hurt."
Lyin's jaw dropped and Hichi sent a smirk his way.
"Unfreaking believable he says a couple swear words it's a big deal but beating up his brother is okay?"
Lyin thought to himself.
"By the way who named him Bakaru isn't baka Japanese for idiot?" Hichi asked.
"Since it's your fault I believe you should tell them." their mom told their dad giving him a stern look.
"okay "he said smiling sheepishly. "It all started a couple of years back" their dad began in a type of storyish voice.
Flashback
A 21 year old Misato and his younger brother a 20 year old Minato were having drinks. They were rowdy
young men and used to get into squabbles very often. That night they had decided to write a contract and neither of them wanted to sign first.
So they began engaging each other in small talk.
"Yo, Minato, that Uzumaki girl was checking you out, the Kushina one." Misato said referring to the party they had just come from.
"Her cousin Kagura was checking you out too." Minato replied
"yea I got her number."
"I got Kushina's already"
"No one can say you ain't my brother." at this they high fived and started laughing.
"Okay back to the contract, the first one who has a son will have to name him…."
"Name him what?"
"Quiet, I'm thinking, baka"
"I got it!" they both exclaimed together.
"BAKARU!" they shouted
"So how about you sign first"
"No you"
"No you"
END FLASHBACK
"Eventually we both signed it." Misato finished his story.
"Okay not that that makes sense but what were the terms? Just to name your son bakaru?" Lyin inquired.
"The terms were if I didn't hold up my end I'd forfeit my share of the inheritance."
"Oh" the twins mouthed.
"Then why didn't you just wait for uncle minato to have a son first?"hichi asked.
"Simple I thought my first child would have been a girl. Oh and did I mention we were drunk of our asses
when we made that contract." the last part he mumbled under his breath.
"You were right." lyin muttered so only hichi heard.
Hichi started snickering.
"Now I have something important to tell you guys" misato said with a serious expression.
"Shoot" lyin said.
"You're going to japan." He said this with some hesitation.
"When" they asked surprised.
"Today at 6"he answerd
"What! How can you just spring something like that on us? Its summer vacation we had plans, I mean…"
Lyin trailed off.
''I know, that's why I waited till today to tell you if I had told you sooner you would've found a way to
miss the plane by sleeping over at someone's house or something along those lines."
They nodded in agreement, this was a common occurrence.
"So why won't you let us finish our senior year here." Lyin began.
"Wait. Does that mean lyins grounding is called off?" hichi asked
Both lyin and his dad had completely forgotten.
"Oh yeah, I'll have to call minato and make sure lyin serves his grounding."
Lyin turned to hichi his temple throbbing, anger written all over his face. He mouthed the words" I'll
Get you for that."
Hichi wasn't a man who was easily scared and when he was he wouldn't show it but there was one give
away for when he was and that was the slight twitching his right eye was doing right now.
"Oh yeah lyin I didn't say you'd be spending senior year in Japan." their dad said.
Hichi stopped twitching to say" even lyin noticed we would be staying there for a while"
"Yeah even I noticed….wait, was that an insult?"
"No." hichi said sarcastically.
"You guys are more clever than I give you credit for, you'll be staying with your uncle minato for a while
So I suggest you start packing and contact your friends. Oh and please make the best of this. "with this he got up and left. The twins noticed that sometime during their talk their mom must have left.
"The plane leaves at 6 and the drive is about an hour long so we should leave around 4:30."hichi told lyin
"Yeah"
"By the way how are we gonna break the news to kizuku."
Kizuku was the twins best friend, he too was from japan and from a very respectable family,the tsukira family. They had been friends since they were 5 and had become like brothers.
Lyin didn't get to answer that question because his phone started ringing.
You're a dime
So beautiful
Top of the line
So unusual
Words can't define
Running through my mind all day day
"Dude its kizuku" lyin said throwing the phone at hichi.
Hichi put the phone on speaker and put his hand over it so kizuku couldn't hear.
"Your ringtone is gay by the way"
Lyin ignored this.
Hichi answered and proceeded to say as bluntly as possible.
"Dude we're moving to japan and might not see you for a couple of years.
"….."
"….."
"….."
"Are you crying?"
"n-no I j-just got sand in my eyes t-that's all."he replied his voice quivering
"you should seriously stop wearing those skin tight jeans, just because people mistake you for a girl doesn't mean you should act like one" lyin stated.
"Wait don't you have an aunt and uncle living in japan?"hichi asked
N-n-no the-the live in n-now."
"St lucia? Where's that?" hichi asked
"It's in the Caribbean, duh, dumbass and I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."
"Ignoring sucks."
"But come to think of it" kizuku began his voice steady now." my grandparents do live in konoha."
"Well that's convenient." Lyin stated
"Hmmm. Konoha isn't that where uncle minato lives? Wait where is that exactly?"hichi asked.
"Duh, it's between Suna and Kiri." lyin stated flatly.
"Alright dude, seriously that know it all thing you got going on there, stop it you're creeping me out."
"You're just jealous"
"But anyway man you should ask your parents to go that way we can still hang out but our flight leaves at 6.
"I pack quick don't stress yourself man"
"Yeah yeah, just hurry our seats are first class."
"Okay later"
"Yeah later"
"Wait my parents just came in lemme ask em."
"Okay"
After about 20 seconds kizuku came back.
"I can't believe it man they said no. "
"Bummer"
"I know right"
"Well we gotta pack so later"
"Yeah later" kiziku stated but he didn't seem too upset, hichi noted, as he hung up.
"Well let's get packing" hichi said."By the way, lyin."
"Yeah?"
"Are we getting sent to japan without a legit reason?"
"Yup"
"Okay then"
"Wait dude we're leaving so?"
"So?"hichi inquired.
"Well what are you gonna do about…well you know."
"Spit it out man."
"Suzanne"
As soon as the word left lyins mouth hichi dropped the phone his eye twitching again. "oh shit." he muttered and ran upstairs.
Lyin bent down to pick up his phone and heard a door slam.
"What the hell?" he asked no one in particular and started walking up the stairs.
When he got to hichis room he slowly opened the door and peered in.
Lyins P.O.V
I look in, is that hichi? Is he kneeling? What's he looking at, where'd that big ass picture of Suzanne come from and what is it doing on his wall and why didn't I notice it before now? Anyway, what the? Is he crying? Oh my god that snobbish little prick is actually crying, the dude is supposed to be just like me, he plays for life, he has like 6 other girlfriends. I should probably help him he looks upset.
End P.O.V
"Hichi" lyin called
"Dude I'm not gonna see her for god knows how long."
"C'mon man you have like 6 other girls"
"But she was the one"
"Yeah one of the many bitches you've toyed with."
Like one of those creepy horror movies hichi slowly turned his head towards lyin who seemed to teleport behind the door and was slowly closing it. Too late, before it closed hichis hand shot through and grabbed his neck.
"Is this a joke to you, cuz this is my life you little prick." hichi said in a menacing voice.
Lyins eyes began darting from left to right trying to think of a way out of this situation, suddenly he pointed behind hichi and shouted.
"Dude bakaru's messing with your psp."
Hichi turned around quickly but was only greeted with lyin slamming his room door shut and locking it securely .Lyin knew him too well if there was one thing he really liked it was his games.
"llllyyyyyiiinnnn" he roared banging on the door with all his might.
"Really dude you think banging on the door will make me open it?"
"uhhh"
"Just calm down"
"I will not calm down!"
"Please?"
"You think saying please will make me calm down?"
"Touché. And yes I do."
"Well it's not."
"Damn."
Hichi starts banging even harder.
"Okay, listen."the usual joking tone was not in his voice this caused hichi to calm down a little.
"Man I have to tell you no one else likes Suzanne mom and dad won't say it but they think she's bad for you and I do too."
"gimme 3 good reasons why I should."
"Fine. One, she's a crazy jealous psycho bitch I mean who doesn't want a guy to talk to his teachers or his mom, I mean c'mon his freakin' mom. Two, she's crazy obsessive I mean she calls you every 10 minutes. " At that moment hichis phone started ringing across the hall. "Right on time." lyin said flatly.
"lyin" hichi began.
"Three I bet she's the one who made you put up that picture of her in the first place."
"…"
"exactly." lyin finished.
"Fine" hichi said dejectedly.
He went to his room and started packing leaving lyin to do the same.
Hichi finished packing in about an hour and his dad entered.
"hichi I have something to admit."
"Shoot."
"One of the reasons I'm sending you to Japan is to get you away from that crazy ass girl."
"Which girl?"
"The suzie one."
"What is with you guys and suzane"
"She's just bad…"
Hichi cut him off "lyin already told me all this"
"Oh, did you kill him?"
"No but I tried."
"Okay. On to the next matter which car do you want?"
"The bmw."
"Alright I'll have it sent for you. By the way do you know which one your brother might want?"
"The mustang."
"Okay .but in any case let's go ask him."
They entered lyins room; he had 7 suitcases on a side already packed. They noticed several of his posters had already been taken down and his skateboards were still on the wall, his dad would send those with the cars. lyin was laying awkwardly with his head in his eighth case and his butt in the air his father immediately pulled out his blackberry and started taking pictures motioning for hichi to do the same he was surprised to see hichi snapping away on a digital camera apparently he went to get his camera as soon as he saw lyin.
"Should we wake him up now?"
"Hang on dad I need to take a few more."
"Okay okay we need to get you guys to the airport."
"Alright."
"But just for the fun of it lets mess with him one more time."
"I'm all ears" hichi replied.
Lyins P.O.V
I was having a weird as dream. I was dreaming I was pissing…..wait this happened before. I immediately jumped out of the suitcase …I fell asleep in there? No that's not the point my pants were wet and my hand was once again in warm water.
.DEAD.
Hichis P.O.V
I'm just leaving my room and I see lyin running down the hallway, his pants are wet.
"Mission accomplished."I mutter to myself.
He passes me and turns to bakarus door before literally kicking it down and rushing in. I hear a"lyin what the hell?" and a "your dead motherfucker!" then I hear muffled screams and maniacal laughter. Is lyin trying to kill bakaru with a pillow? Well its bakarus ass and that has nothing to do with me.
End P.O.V
As hichi turned to enter his room his dad came up the stairs.
"What's going on?"
"lyins trying to kill bakaru with a pillow."
"He thinks he did it?"
"Yep."
"Well hurry before he kills bakaru."
Hichi reluctantly went but after a couple of minutes they managed to pry lyin off of a terrified bakaru while sharing looks which meant I think we went a bit too far. After that the rest of the day was pretty uneventful with the guys just spending their time lounging around the house. They had a van drop their luggage off at the airport and ate and at 4:30 they got into their dads rolls Royce and were on their way to the airport. lyin had his laptop, he switched it on.
Hichi watched him and asked what he was doing.
"Emily, Jennifer, Jessica, Bianca, Brianna, Lisa, penny, Gabrielle and Nicole. "he whispered he didn't want his parents hearing this convo.
"Finally gonna tell em?"
"Yep."
"Good luck, and by the way aren't gabrielle and Jennifer friends?"
"Yep."
"Carry on then."
Lyin emailed the girls telling them he was about to leave the country for good, he sent them all the same message "sorry babe but I'm leaving the country for good and I don't know if I'll ever see you again." and at the end he put their names. They all emailed him back almost immediately saying the same thing "I'll miss you." but apparently gabrielle didn't reply, no sweat she'd see it later. His phone rang.
When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were standing on the edge of the unknown
"Nice to see you changed your ringtone." hichi commented
Lyin sneered and answered his phone "yo."
"Hey it's gabrielle."
"Hey whats up I just sent you a message."
"Yeah I just read it but the funny thing is I read it on Jennifer's computer. Could you explain that to me cuz I'm a bit confused."
"…"
"Lyin?"
"I'm sorry the number you have dialed is currently unavailable please try again later."
"lyin I know it's you."
"dot , dot , dot."
"lyin!"
"dot , dot , dot."
"lyin I swear if you don't ans…"
She was cut off by lyin hanging up the phone. He looked up and everyone was giving him a wtf look. That was lyin you never understand the shit he does. His phone rings again.
"yo"
"Hey lyin it's jennifer"
"Hey jen"
"So why did you hang up on gabrielle" she began but he cut her off.
"Me no speako no english" he said with a fake Mexican accent then hung up.
He looked up and was once again given the wtf look. Hichi asked him what happened and he whispered it to him , hichi just laughed.
"Well we're here" misato said after about an hour of driving.
"bakaru, boys get your carry ons."
"Bakaru?"The boys asked in unison. Bakaru was coming too. They both balled their hands into fists and shook them in the air shouting.
"Nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooo!"
"Stop being drama queens and lets go"their mom said.
Lyin put away his laptop; they bid their farewells and were off to board the plane. They went to first class and took their sits hichi pulling out his psp and lyin his ipod. After a few minutes someone their age walked in he was about 5'8 the same as the twins ,with jet black hair instead of blonde like the twins in a ponytail just like lyin and brown eyes unlike the twins' blue ones.
"Sup kizuku "lyin said when he noticed the person .
Hichi looked up from his game.
"Sup guys and bakaru." Bakaru just sneered.
"Yo kizuku I thought you weren't coming"
"well let's just say my parents had a change of heart."
"I knew you were lying from the way you spoke" hichi stated.
"Well nothing escapes you hichiboy." he said this seating down next to lyin
"So did you dump all those girls?"
"Yup did you?"
"Yeah"
"That means we gotta look for some new girls, sexy Japanese girls."
"You got that right. Oh and by the way,"he leaned closer and whispered," Did hichi break it up with Suzanne?"
"You know I didn't really ask him but I think he did."
"I hope he did, I hate that chick."
"Me too."
A couple of hours into the flight lyin was awakened by a steward gently pushing kizuku. It wasn't the sound that woke him but the steward was pushing kizu onto him, he got up turned around and fell asleep.
Kizuku was sleeping away until that god damn steward had come to wake him up; apparently he wanted to know if he wanted something to eat. He turned and saw lyin sleeping with his headphones still on, kizu reached over and turned off the ipod. He saw bakaru sleeping and surprisingly hichi was still engrossed in his game, the battery on his psp 3000 had long since died and he was now playing his psp go and that damn steward was still asking him if he wanted anything to eat or drink.
"You sure you don't want anything to eat sir?"
"Yes"
"Anything to drink?"
"No"
God damn it this dude was persistent.
"You sure…"kizuku cut him off.
"Noo!" he shouted, everyone looked at him, even lyin, hichi was still engrossed in his game. Kizuku got up and went to the bathroom he entered closed the door to take a leak. Knock knock someone was knocking on the door.
"its occupied."
Knock knock
"Goddamnit there's someone inside!"
"I know" came a woman's voice. She said this quite seductively. "now close your eyes and open the door. "
Kizu obliged.
The owner of the voice entered and immediately attached themselves to kizu, fondling him all over, it felt good but this chick needed a serious manicure her hands were rough but forgetting that he wanted to get some action he moved to grope her chest…..nothing…..his eyes shot open an what he saw was a man and that mans tongue was in his mouth, it was that damn steward, he let out a blood curling scream, pulled up his pants and ran out screaming.
"Hentai, hentai, that man is impure and unclean hentai I say." He screamed running past a surprised lyin and bakaru, hichi was more concerned about his game.
It took lyin 15 minutes to calm him down and he related his story to a stewardess, the stewardess assured him that the steward would be dealt with when they touched down and he was given a full refund. He was still a bit shaken up however.3 hours later they landed in konoha international.
After clearing their luggage and going through customs they proceeded to the exit and immediately found the people there to pick them up, I mean how could they not with that spikey blond hair they shared and naruto was screaming "over here!" they proceeded towards them.
The twins and bakaru bowed greeting "nice to see you again oji san, naruto." kizuku bowed as well and greeted"nice to meet you namikaze san, naruto san."
"Nice to see you again too." naruto and minato replied.
"You must be kizuku."Minato stated looking at kizuku.
"Hai."he was still a bit shaken and was watching minato suspiciously , he would be wary of other males now.
"Your grandparents are my neighbors and they asked me to drop you off." minato said trying to smile. What was with this kid he was just eyeing him like he was gonna rape him or something.
"So whats up hichi and lyin."naruto asked.
"Nun much how about you? You still the same baka?" lyin asked.
"Nah and last I checked it was your brother who was the baka."
"True he's a baka in name but you're a baka in, well, everything else."
Minato turned it had only been 5 seconds since they had reunited and already naruto and lyin were going at it like always. Those boys, he shook his head he helped move all thier luggage to a van he had waiting outside. He came back to the twins, their friend was still eyeing him suspiciously, and where the hell was bakaru.
"lyin."
Lyin was still arguing with naruto and couldn't hear.
"lyin!"He said a bit louder, the boys were already starting to work up a nerve good thing he and his brother had the whole thing worked out.
Lyin was still arguing.
"lyin!"He said louder than the second time.
Still no reply.
"LYIN!"He shouted.
"Yo."Lyin said turning.
Minato's eye twitched "Where's your brother?"lyin turned and pulled hichi closer.
"Here he is."lyin said flatly.
Minato turned and banged his head against a pillar, he turned back"I mean bakaru."
"Oh,"lyin said "He was behind….."He turned and didn't see bakaru. "Oh umm well I don't know."
Minato turned and repeated the banging.
Hichi's game finally died.
"Hey uncle minato why're you banging your head against the pillar?"He asked finally back to the real world.
"Cause your brothers an idiot."
"Which one?"
"Both."
"What did they do?"
"Bakaru is missing and lyin and naruto are arguing over nonsense."
"Bakaru's not missing he's over there talking to a girl." he said pointing.
Minato and lyin turned and saw him and lyin immediately had an idea.
"Hey kizu come here a moment."
Kizu did.
They began to talk but whatever lyin said pissed him off because their conversation ended with kizu walking away and lyin shouting "Fine, I don't need you I can do it on my own."
Kizu walked over to hichi.
"What did he want?"hichi asked.
Kizu whispered to him and hichi couldn't stop grinning.
Lyin walked over to bakaru, threw his hand around his neck and said in the gayest voice possible.
"Hey honey."
Bakaru turned.
"lyin what the…"
"Who's this bitch?" lyin asked.
"I know you're not talking about me." the girl responded.
"Yes I am you're the bitch who's trying to put the moves on my man."
"Oh so you're gay, that explains a lot." The girl said looking to bakaru.
"I – I – I – I – I "bakaru stuttered at a loss for words.
"Its kinda weird you're a couple and you both are so alike." she started "but anyways you won't need this anymore." She took a piece of paper from bakaru's hand and tore it.
"later." and with that she walked away.
"You better run bitch!"lyin shouted.
The girl came back and started taking off her earrings. Lyin ran for his life, he ran to and hid behind hichi with a speechless bakaru following.
"Well now that we're all here let's get going" Minato stated."Hey bakaru wanna drive?"
"I – I – I – I – I "he was still stuttering.
"Guess not."minato said.
Hichi and lyin were anxious to see what their uncle drove; he was rich so they knew it was something cool. kizu on the other hand didn't even wanna be near minato and was glaring at any male who walked too close to him. Naruto was jumping with joy he couldn't wait till the twins met his friends. Bakaru was still stuttering.
Lyins P.O.V
We're walking towards the parking lot to uncle minato's car; I wonder what type of car it is. Uncle minato stops and points at a car. A Rolls Royce. What is with these guys and Rolls Royce? To top it off the freaking thing was lavender colored. Why the hell did he have a lavender colored rolls Royce IN JAPAN. Wait where's Hichi? The bastard was already sitting in the car like nothing happened, what the hell is wrong with him? Is he blind? I made my face as serious as possible and asked minato a serious question.
"Uncle minato are you…..are you….a PIMP?"
As soon as the question left my mouth naruto and minato erupted with laughter "no, no"Naruto managed to cough out while laughing.
"This is moms car."
"That's even worse."This time it was bakaru who spoke he was thinking along the same lines as I was.
I open the door and enter, oh my god , this car had a leather interior and it was purple. It was affirmed I was officially mind fucked and the bright color had raped my eyes right out of their sockets
END P.O.V
The drive to the namikaze residence took about an hour. The twins had slept through it and when they woke up kizi wasn't there.
"We dropped him off already" naruto stated.
He didn't even say goodbye. Why,why,why! lyin shouted.
Naruto and minato gave him a wtf look. His ranting woke hichi, uh oh, too late, hichi had punched him in the jaw and got out of the car. He forgot about hichis problem with being woken up.
Their luggage had already been delivered to the house so they entered. They saw a pretty woman with long red hair. Like their mom's.
"we're back mom"naruto told the woman.
She was kushina, naruto's mother and minato's wife. The boys politely bowed and greeted her.
"Nice to see you again kushina san."they said
"it's nice to see you boys again as well." She said smiling at them.
Lyin yawned.
"You boys must be tired. Karen!"
A young brunette woman with green eyes came into the room.
"Yes ma'am."
"Can you please show the boys to their rooms?"
"Right away" she motioned for them to follow her."
"Wait" bakaru stated "I'm supposed to be staying at dad's old place across the street."
"Yes, but the renovations aren't done so you'll stay here for a couple of days" minato replied.
"Oh, okay." he replied and followed the maid.
Karen showed them to their rooms and they all fell asleep as soon as their head touched their pillows.