i would love to thank my Beta for her notes and words of encouragement for this one ! thank you Alana, you are simply lovely!
"You hurt me, Draco."
"I'm sorry."
And indeed, he is sorry. For the first time in his life he is sorry. His regret radiates from him like heat from a sun. In his kiss she can taste his bitter agony, the soul crushing emotional turmoil he is experiencing. She can feel it in the way that he holds her tightly against him. His mouth collides with hers like a beautiful shipwreck. He is like a drowning man coming to shore. His kiss is rough, raw, and wrenching. She can't breathe – there is no time or space for oxygen – it's him and her and nothing else. She is separated from him only by her gossamer thin Slytherin green evening gown , he can feel her pounding heart against his chest. She wants to pull away, she wants to run away from him – that is what her gut tells her to do – but let's face it; her instincts have been broken ever since The Marriage Law forced her into Draco Malfoy's bed. Her instincts are useless, like a broken alarm clock, and she can't rely on them as she could in the past. She tells herself to run away but doesn't. Instead, she lets it go on, and on. Time stretches out before them like a red carpet to the stars, and every sweet second is its own little slice of infinity .
How do they do this? Really, how do they – forget everything and gorge themselves on each other. Again, they get drunk on each other and the way their mutual lust drives them. They act as if their passion makes it okay or even right, because he loves her and he loves to hurt her and she loves him and she loves to hurt him in return and they don't know how else it should be done.
This isn't the place for what they are doing – this is a library. Outside is a ball room full of people. At any second someone could walk in – but she is long past caring what is appropriate. The rules were discarded long ago, burned to a crisp by the life she leads. With great difficulty, he pauses briefly. He rasps out a colloportus charm and casts a silencio spell to ensure their privacy. They fall back into each other surrendering to demands of their passions, a seductive slow dance around the dying embers of all the "should be's."