Yori is back with a new comedy fiction! This one is based on my family's dislike for those annoying telemarketers! They call at all the wrong times, don't they!? So, I've come up with this little shenanigan! In each chapter, another Sohma will be called by a telemarketer! And… Tohru will, too.
Here are the spoilers that you will need to know to understand some of the parts in this story:
Tohru and Kyo get together.
Akito is a woman and ends up with Shigure.
If I'm leaving any out, they will be stated later, in that character's chapter.
Yori: I do not own Fruits Basket, but I do own… O.O Never mind…
Hyper Rabbit: I'm baaaack!
Yori: (Knocks him out) No one cares. First up is…
(Hyper Rabbit wakes up)
Hyper Rabbit: You won't get rid of me so easily!
Yori: (Hits him twelve times) Kyo.
O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O
The phone rang around six times before anyone answered it. Kyo picked it up and said in an annoyed tone, "Hello?"
"Hello, sir," said the voice on the phone. "Would you be interested in buying some-"
"No, thank you." Kyo interrupted. He hung up the phone and started to walk away. The phone started ringing again. "What now?" He growled. "We really need Caller I.D."
He picked it up again.
"Hello, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just want to know if you would like some-"
"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" Kyo slammed the phone down this time. "I'm gonna go get on the chat room…"
Bad idea.
O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O
Year of the Cat has just logged on.
Year of the Cat: Is anyone here?
Hott Dude: Just me.
Year of the Cat: Who're you?
Hott Dude: Would you like to buy some lingerie?
Year of the Cat: What!? Have you been stalking me, you freak!?
Hott Dude: Maybe.
Year of the Cat: Who are you!?
Hott Dude: The name's Satan. Now, would you like to buy some or not!?
Year of the Cat has just logged off.
Hott Dude: …What's his problem!?
Kyo sat at the desk and stared at his computer. "His name is… He's selling lingerie to a guy…"
Tohru passed by his room and looked in. "Are you okay?"
Kyo looked at her with big eyes. She added, "Kyo-Kun, you look like you've seen a ghost! What happened?"
He turned back to the computer and put his forehead down on the desk. "I'm being stalked by the telemarketer from hell."
O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O
Yori: These are gonna be some short chapters… Maybe I'll be able to get more than one up today!
HR: That was kind of… scary…
Yori: You know what's twice as scary?
HR: What?
Yori: One day, my friends and I were at a theme park, and this really obese, old lady walked by in a bikini. It was very gross. I will never, ever wear a bikini after seeing that. (Goes into shock) (A/N: True story…)
HR: …Wow, that is scary sounding… Why was an elderly woman wearing a bikini for in the first place!? Yori?
Yori: (Still in shock)
HR: …I guess I'll have to write the next chapter…
Yori: (Snaps out of shock long enough to kill HR)
(Aya comes into the picture)
Aya: …Thank you for reading…? (Not sure what to do) Um… the next tortured character will be Akito Sohma.