A giant thank you to a certain-person-who-knows-who-she-is, who read this for me and gave me the courage to finally post this! This is dedicated to you!

Three Coffees and some Bad Poetry by the darkness revealed

Spoilers: Up to and including 2x16 and also a spoiler for upcoming episodes.

Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me.

Summary: The Warblers encounter a problem with their star Warbler after Kurt goes back to McKinley.

Notes: O cursed writer's block, with this fic I thee banish. Begone!

Mr. Schuester wanted to do another Journey song, Rachel was demanding that she do every solo in the next 200 years, and everyone was yelling at her while Sam and Finn tried to stop Santana from clawing Rachel's eyes out.

So, all in all, it was a normal Glee practice.

Kurt huffed and folded his arms, but smiled anyways. He'd missed being in New Directions, even with the massive amounts of drama and chaos.

Then the door slammed open and a familiar voice cut through the babble of voices.

"Kurt!" Blaine bounded across the room and threw himself on Kurt, his arms clasped around Kurt's waist. He nestled his head on Kurt's chest and sighed contentedly. "Ah…Kurt."

"Blaine?" Kurt gasped in surprise, hands automatically flying up to pat the head of fluffy hair before him. "What are you doing here?"

He looked up to see the Warblers filing into the choir room. "Um, guys? Why are you at McKinley? And why is Blaine vibrating?"

Sure enough, Blaine seemed to be quivering with massive amounts of barely contained energy, and Kurt could swear he was actually purring.

David shifted. "Er—that might be because of those three coffees he had."

Kurt choked. "Three?"

"Well, he was really exhausted so we let him have one," Jeff explained. "But then he managed to sneak away from us and drank another two before we stopped him."

"Coffee is yummy," Blaine murmured and then giggled softly. "Kurt, I can hear your heart!"

Kurt shushed him absentmindedly and patted his hair again. "Three coffees? Are you serious?" he hissed at the Warblers. "Blaine's your star Warbler! Shouldn't you be taking better care of him?"

"Hey, it's not our fault your boyfriend's a drama queen!" Nick cried.

Kurt blinked. "Excuse me?"

"It's true!" Flint said. "After you left, all he would do was sit around and mope."

"And eat lots of ice-cream," David interjected.

Flint nodded. "Lots and lots of ice-cream."

"He refused to go to sleep in case you called and he missed it," Wes continued. "And every time we tried to reassure him that you would not break up with him just because he missed a call, he would just burst into tears and start wailing, 'woe is me!' It was impossible to deal with."

"We tried to make him go to sleep after a while," David explained, "but he just stayed up all night in his room making up poems about you."

"Then he decided to read his poetry to us, which was even worse," Nick groaned. "When he got to Ode to the Smell of Kurt's Hair After He's Had a Shower, we decided it was time for action."

"So we packed Blaine up—that's when the three coffees happened—and brought him here," Jeff finished. "Simple as that."

"So, uh, thanks, Kurt! And good luck dealing with him!" Flint waved and started to follow the others out of the room.

"Wait!" Kurt yelled. "What do you mean, good luck?"

The Warblers paused.

"Well, you are his boyfriend, ex-Warbler Kurt, and that means it is your responsibility to take care of your partner," Wes pointed out. "We really do appreciate this. Give us a call when the coffee has worn off and we'll pick him up. Farewell!"

"You—you can't just leave me here!" Kurt yelled, but the Warblers were out of earshot. Kurt was left gaping, an overly caffeinated boyfriend clinging to him around his middle. With a sigh, he looked down at Blaine who was now humming a song about smushing bumblebees.

This boyfriend business was going to be harder than he thought.

END

Guys, I really don't like this fic. I seriously came this close to not posting it, that's how much I don't like it. But I know that if I don't post this, it'll be months until I get the courage to post something else. And that's not good. So here. Please be gentle!

I'm off to go dig myself a hole to stick my head in.