As he turned the paper over in his hands; as he weighed Jeanne against Tony DiNozzo; he took in all there was to see of this unhappy confusion between who he was before, and what he wanted now.
On one hand there was family, growing together; the dreams of Jeanne to hold forever that'd persisted despite his best efforts to silence them. Plans made for a future he desperately wanted.
Yet, no matter how much he loved Jeanne, Tony wasn't sure he could become forever Tony DiNardo just like that, just like the snap of fingers. Becoming Tony DiNardo was more complicated than just giving up his name and his job; it meant leaving his team.
Sure, Gibbs' return had demoted Tony; but it was still his team – it was all of their team, and it always had been. Every member was important and the team didn't work the same way without them all. They'd all felt the change when Kate had died; they'd all felt it when Gibbs left.
Could Tony do that? Could he split the team apart for the sake of Jeanne and a man who was only half way to existing?
Blankly he looked down at the slowly twisting paper in his hands, and one last time read the message written there before dropping it in the fire with a whispered, heartfelt, "goodbye, Jeanne".