Friday, January 4 2007 - Oh my god! Another story dishes out by me... with only half the effort!

Disclaimer - God. I'm tired of writing this. I mean, who would actually have the guts to say that they own something if their only gonna track you down later on. Okay. Message to the fanfictioners! Look for the disclaimer on my profile, okay? Then I won't go out of my way to actually remember.

My life has been one turn after another. It's so twisted; I bet god is getting off on it right now. I was abandoned as a kid, lived in a freakin' orphanage, got too old for it and got tossed into a small-as-a-bathroom apartment, living there until a nice guy named Iruka came by and gave me a home and a job. Sometimes, I wonder if people realize that life is one big cycle. Everybody makes the each other feel some way or another and they end up feeling that way too after a while. It's like the whole world is made up of the same soul. There are no real personalities, since everybody is the same. Oh my god... this is almost as bad as people who dress the same to fit in the same group.

Right now, I feel as if something is missing from my life. Some people don't know what, but I do. What I'm missing is...

My pride.

No, really! Iruka sensei sent me a butler; A computerized butler at that! It does everything; from opening a door to dressing me up in the morning without permission. And here is what pisses me off! He couldn't make it into a hot girl robot; he made it a stupid pretty boy with a stupid attitude and a stupid knack for stealing all the girls I bring home! Now some of my buds think I'm gay! Just 'cause Iruka sensei is into males, doesn't mean I do... right? Is being gay contagious? No, I didn't think so.

And another thing; I live in an apartment; not a mansion! Why the hell do I need a butler?! Why does the "butler" insist on rolling out the red carpet and literally strip me off to throw me into a bathtub of water and fluffy pink shit? Is the thing a perv or something?! He even goes as far as washing my back for me. Ugh.

I'm telling you that it's freaking me out. My life is bad enough without having an erotic robot fucking it up; like I said before, I had no parents, blah-dee-blah and the only fatherly figure I'd ever known is a gay man that enjoys screwing other gay men; not that I hate Iruka sensei or something. It's just that I'm not a homo.

Right now I'm in college. I don't know how or why; I just ended up here. I live in an average apartment (that needs no butler), and I have the average shitty neighbours; I'm convinced one of them is an ex-con. I pretty much live the same way everyday with none or minor disturbances; basically, I live by the book.

Until that is, when Iruka said something about whatever project he was working on. He said it was top secret and nobody knows about it yet so I should keep it secret. I didn't really give a shit about what he said, until he introduced me to a living, breathing dude named Uchiha Sasuke and left me with him. I thought he was one of those perfect emos from school that ever girl has at least fawned over once (gonna be my roommate I guess, it's Iruka who pays the bills anyway), until he kissed me. Not the stupid cute peck on the cheek either; it was a wet hot blast on the lips. Not the normal kind of way and... I don't have a way of describing it. I was totally shocked and freakin' mad. I had never had my first kiss and I would never, NEVER, give it to a guy. Especially a stupid piece of machinery that acts, eats, and... kisses like a real human being. And like I said before: I'm NOT gay!

Not like Iruka cares. I'm totally convinced that he wants to drag me into his realm of hot homo sex.

... Not that I'm insulting it. Anyway, back on topic here.

"Hey, Naruto!" cried Sakura, my one and only love- "Where's Sasuke-kun?" -that has been seduced by the pale-ass prince charming.

"Probably sleeping in my bathroom or something." I answered back carelessly.

Sakura's eyes widened and I had just realized how carelessly I had said it.

"What's Sasuke doing in your bathroom?" my pink haired beauty demanded accusingly. Probably thinks I either killed him or screwed him last night. Wish I did that... I mean kill him.

Oh yea. I just remembered; none of the girls and most of the guys in my school has ever been to my "house". Only my best buds, which was not a good thing anyway. Like I said before; they think I'm gay. And now I'm sure Sakura will think the same, spreading the rumour. One question I have to ask Iruka is: Why the hell does Sasuke have to go to school with me? I decided to come up with an excuse; quick.

"Uh... Sasuke's my roommate." Okay, just ease her into the tale now. "My uh... adopted father Iruka-sensei decided it was best to have someone accompany me to um... school, so he gave Uchiha a key to my... apartment and now he lives with me. And stuff."

Sakura eased up considerably and asked. "Okay then. Can I come by later?"

Okay... now we're in the ultimate danger zone.

"Oh! Um... No, I'm sorry, but Sasuke doesn't like visitors, and Iruka-"

"Hey Naruto you idiot! Don't hog up the girl." Kiba had appeared beside me and is now talking to Sakura. Feh, more like flirting. And then the others came. Shino, Gaara, Lee, Shikamaru, Shika's girlfriend Ino, Shika's stalker Neji and... I could go on forever.

By the time everybody got here, Sakura had disappeared in a huff and Sasuke was rounding the corner, headed for me.

"Hey Sasuke-kun!" smiled Ino in a weird fangirl greeting. Shikamaru turned away and sighed, "How troublesome."

The bastard just ignored her and walked on, dragging my arm with him. What the fuck is up with that? If he wanted to talk, all he could have done was say it! I was still severely pissed off at him.

In a dark secluded place under a big ass tree, he pulled me up against it and stuck his arms out, trapping me.

"What are you doing, you bastard?" I yelled at him through my prison.

He just ignored the question and instead, said in a stupid like-hell jealous voice, "Do you like Sakura?"

Okay, easy. "Yea, what's it to you?"

Oops, wrong answer.

He just pushed me up against the tree harder and said, "Why do you like her? It's not as if she would like you."

"What? You saying I can't get the girl? You underestimatin' me!"

Oops. Damn you stupid mouth!

He cupped my chin and look me in the eye. "What if I don't want you to get the girl?"

"I don't care you emo bastard! Go away!" I pushed his face away and ran, looking back to see he was lying on the ground on his back and staring at me like he was gonna kill me. I really hate myself. Now what do I do when I get home? Lock myself in the closet? Well, that's the only place Sasuke doesn't ever go. But seriously; if he wanted to destroy me, it's the easiest place to hide the body.

Holy shit; I'm already thinking about my death.

Actually... If it was me, I wouldn't bother reviewing this. Meh... I won't update for a while, since I got another NaruSasu fic going on. The most difficult thing about writing fanfiction is that you're using someone else's characters and you have to work extra hard in keeping them in character or no one would read it. Blah... Well, that's training in becoming an author. Mwahaha. Aw man... I have so many stories to update... :(

The Ever So Sarcastic MeowMeow66 X3