So I was thinking this morning that I haven't written a BL story in a while. Then I remembered Amigodude calling me out for not getting my Zombie story out in time for Halloween. That got me thinking that maybe I should do a Christmas story. An hour later, and here I am with a quick/simple BL one-shot; just in time for Christmas.
For the first time ever, I think I proofread this ONCE. Hopefully it's fun, not too OC, and not too littered with mistakes.
Oh, and I don't own Black Lagoon :)
As night fell on Roanapur, Dutch and Revy ascended the stairs to the Lagoon Company office. While they walked, Revy picked bits of tissue and flesh from her blood stained hair.
"Fuckin' disgusting." She commented as she observed the most recently picked piece of brain matter.
"I'm startin' to get a little fuckin' tired of getting caught up in these fuckin' bloodbaths. These fuckers wanna kill each other, the least they could do is wait for us to get out of their way."
They came around the corner of the hallway as Revy replied, "C'mon Dutchy; you know that's just a fuckin' pipe dream in Roanapur."
She opened the door to the office and her jaw dropped as she observed a truly alien sight.
"What the fuck?!"
A small Christmas tree had been setup in the office by none other than Rock whom was still at its side decorating it. Several small ornaments adorned the tree as did a single set of lights that flickered every now and again.
Benny sat on the couch eating from a bag of potato chips and commented, "I told him he was wasting his time and he yelled at me." He smiled and continued, "I figured I'd just let him be and wait for your reaction."
"I'll be damned, is it that time already?" Dutch asked, not entirely displeased with what Rock had done.
"December 24th." Rock replied with a wide smile.
At a loss for words or reaction Revy slowly approached the tree and observed some of the "ornaments". Among the other oddities on the tree, Rock had hung two empty magazines from her cutlass on the tree; now there was a problem.
Her teeth clenched and finally came the explosion, "WHAT THE FUCK ROCK?!"
She grabbed him by his collar instantly inverting his smile and began to reprimand him, "I don't recall you asking my fuckin' permission to touch my shit dumb-ass!"
"But Revy I needed…" She cut him off screaming like a lunatic, "SHUT UP!!"
After a few tense moments, the boss had calmed his gunslinger down. Having lost the argument to remove her magazines from the tree via a three-to-one vote in Dutch, Benny and Rock's favor, Revy stormed off to the bathroom for a quick shower.
Finally the realization that both Revy and Dutch were covered nearly head-to-toe in blood hit him bringing Rock back to earth, "What the hell happened to you two anyway?"
Dutch wiped some of the muck off of his arm and swatted it to the floor of the office, "Delivery from Mr. Chang to the cartel. Those boys don't know how to hold their wad for shit. Fuckin' idiots decided to do some house cleaning with their new merchandise and started killing off the dead weight."
"Merry fuckin' Christmas." Benny replied.
"Aren't you Jewish Benny boy?" Dutch asked with a smile.
"Hey yeah." Benny replied, his smile quickly turning into a frown, "What the fuck Rock? Where's the fuckin' Menorah?"
"I couldn't find one in time!" Rock replied, "Besides Chanukah started three days ago!"
"Ah, I'm just fuckin' with you." Benny replied with a smile.
"So is this it Rock, or do you have something else up your sleeve?" Dutch asked.
Revy emerged from the bathroom with soaked hair and wet skin, immediately catching Rock's attention. He quickly gathered his thoughts and replied to Dutch's question, "As a matter of fact I do."
While Rock walked towards the kitchen, Revy joined Benny on the couch and nonchalantly swiped the bag of chips from him.
Frustrated but cooled down, she barked, "Somebody get me a fuckin'…"
Rock cut her off handing her a still steaming mug. She accepted it and asked, "What the fuck is this?"
He handed identical cups to Dutch and Benny as he replied, "Hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps."
"Great. To warm us up from that hundred fuckin' degree weather out there." Revy replied looking thoroughly unamused.
Rock rolled his eyes and Dutch surprisingly came to his defense, "C'mon Revy. You could at least try and get fucked up."
"Like this minty fuckin' piss is gonna get me drunk." She took a sip of the Cocoa/Schnapps concoction and her actions seemed to slow.
A silence fell on the room as the rest of the Lagoon Company observed her contented reaction to the drink.
"Not bad right?" Dutch asked as he took a seat on the couch opposite Revy and Benny.
She took another sip, "I guess it's not that bad."
Rock smiled in relief. He knew her well enough to know that she had long forgotten about him using her magazines as ornaments.
"Suppose all that's left now is gifts." Rock stated.
"Gifts too?" Dutch asked with a smile.
"Of course, it's not Christmas without gifts." Rock replied as he retrieved several packages from a closet in the office.
He handed the newspaper-wrapped packages out, one for each of his colleagues.
Benny shook the box he received and said, "I feel kinda bad I didn't get you anything."
"Forget it. The three of you are all the family I've got now. This is just something from me, for you." Rock replied with a smile.
"So, can we open'em?" Dutch asked.
"Yeah go ahead." Rock replied as he took a seat beside Dutch.
Benny carefully opened his present and smiled at the contents which he raised into the view of his colleagues.
"What the fuck is that?" Revy asked.
"It's a panic button. You pull a key on your keyboard and swap it with this one." Benny replied with a smile.
"So you replace a key with it; it still does the same fuckin' thing right?" Revy asked.
"Well, yeah." Benny replied.
"That's pretty fuckin' stupid if you asked me." Revy replied.
"Well I think it's a hoot." Benny replied with a smile, "Thanks Rock."
Rock nodded and Dutch began to open his gift, "Alright my turn."
The big boss carefully pulled the wrapping from his gift. He could feel it was a book; the only surprise would be which.
"'The Roads to Freedom' by Jean-Paul Sartre. I've been meaning to give this a read; nice pick Rock." Dutch extended his hand to Rock and they shared a firm handshake.
After a brief silence all eyes were on Revy.
"Well?" Rock asked with his eyes locked on her.
"I'm not in the fuckin' mood." She replied taking another sip of her drink.
"Oh come on girl, just open the box." Dutch insisted.
"Ugh…fine." Revy placed her drink on the table and began to open her gift.
She violently tore into the packaging but instantly slowed when a letter was revealed, "What the fuck?"
She carefully raised the letter and read it to herself. Within a few seconds a smile formed on her lips and she reached back into the box retrieving a highly polished Zippo. The side facing her wore the same Jolly Roger as her cutlass and when she flipped it over; she found it had been engraved with her full name "Rebecca"
She flipped the lighter open, lit it and quickly flicked it closed extinguishing it.
"Do you like it?" Rock asked.
"It's fuckin' perfect." She replied still wearing a bit of smile, "Thanks."
"You're welcome Rebecca." Rock replied warmly.
"Alright…" Dutch said as he stood, "…as your employer, I feel obliged to offer you all a little something as well. Therefore I feel it is my duty, my responsibility, and my pleasure, to get us shit-faced at the Yellow Flag as soon as possible.
"Now we're fuckin' talking!" Revy shouted.
As they headed out to the Yellow Flag for the rest of the night, Rock slipped a cigarette into his lips and patted down his pockets. At a loss for a lighter, he tapped an already smoking Revy on the shoulder as they approached the door.
She turned to face him and he asked through the corner of his mouth, "Can I borrow that lighter?"
Revy smiled and very gently and most seductively placed her hands on Rock's shoulders. She leaned her head to his till the lit end of her cigarette touched his. Their eyes were dead locked on each other for a few seconds till Rock's cigarette caught when Revy finally pulled away.
She pulled the cigarette from her lips and replied, "Don't say I never gave you nothin'."
She smiled and turned to head back to the door, completely aware and confident in how big a tease she was. Without warning, Rock grabbed her arm and forcefully pulled her back to him. Though his gesture was completely spur of the moment, it couldn't have fallen in line any more perfectly. Revy's lips crashed into his and her eyes immediately doubled in size.
He pulled away from her a moment later, his arms, legs and head still attached and walked around a still frozen Revy and through the door.
"Merry Christmas Revy." He replied with a wide smile as he crossed into the hallway.
It just wouldn't be a jm BL fic without a Revy/Rock kiss ;)
Happy Holidays everybody :)