Healing
A/N hey this is my very first story. I hope you all like it
My name is Alice and I'm 17 years old. I have lived in Paris my whole life and apparently I have an eating disorder. I have been in this psychiatric centre for about 10 months now. The only reason I am writing any of this down is because my therapist, Angela, said it would help to complete the "healing" process. She says I have to write out a kind of diary about what I was like before I came here and what I am like now, so here goes.
When I was about 15 my mum got sick, she was my best friend. My dad had left us when I was about 2 so I don't really remember him. My mum and I had always been close; she was the only family I had left. But when she found out she had cancer it just about killed us both. She was in hospital for about 6 months before I stopped eating. The kids at school teased me a lot because I was always sad and didn't really talk to anyone. There was this one girl, Jessica, she was the worst. It started with name calling and making fun of me. But then it got worse, she started to hit me. Most of the time it was in places that nobody could see. But one time she got really mad at me. I don't even know what I did wrong, but she just lost it. She just wanted to take all of her anger out on me. I ended up with two black eyes and a split lip. When my mum noticed she said I had to go to hospital. She said that she had noticed I was losing a lot of weight and that it started about the time when I said that Jessica had hit me for the first time. I didn't mean to stop eating, I was just never hungry or genuinely forgot to eat, and well anyway she sent me to Olive Branch psychiatric centre.
Olive Branch wasn't anything like I thought it would be. It had a big cafeteria and a few classrooms. The dorms were quite nice as well. There were 2 beds although I didn't have a roommate yet I was told I would get one soon. The therapy rooms were comfy with a big couch and lots of cushions. Angela didn't force me to eat, she told me that I was to try to eat at least half of what was on my plate. Most days I didn't eat much but still all she told me was to try my best, so I did. After about a month of being at the centre my new roommate arrived, Bella. She was really nice, it turns out she had an eating disorder to. After about two days we became great friends. We both sat together at meal times and sat next to each other in group therapy and in class, she was the only person I would talk to except for Angela.
I was slowly starting to gain weight until I heard the news. It was about 3 months into my stay when Angela told me that my mum had died. I didn't cry when I heard the news. I didn't do anything. I stopped eating again, I stopped talking to everyone, even Bella. Angela started to get really worried about me when I weighed even less than I had before I came. She started to push me to eat more, she would sit with me at meal times and watch me, I just ignored her and went back to my room. When she asked Bella to try to get me to eat I got really angry. I started shouting at Bella and being mad at her until I finally cracked. One day when I was sitting in my room with Bella I just broke down in tears. Bella just held me until I calmed down, telling me that everything would be okay. When I had finally stopped crying we had a really long talk about everything that had happened to me, she helped me to cope. I talked to Angela the next day and apologized to her for being so horrible to her.
After my break through I was back on track I started to gain more weight and was slowly becoming healthier. There were another two times when I started to lose weight again. The first was when I was allowed to go and see my mums' grave. Bella came with me and I just sat and talked to her for about an hour while Bella held me and comforted me while I talked. But I got better again and was doing really well until Bella was allowed to go home. I had been so preoccupied with my own dysfunctional life that I hadn't noticed that she had been getting better a lot faster than I had. Bella put of telling me about her leaving until about 3 days before she had to leave. I got angry with her for not telling me and then really upset. Bella managed to calm me down by telling me how we would always be best friends. The night before she had to leave we sat up all night. We talked about what we would do when I got out and when we had finished school. We talked about leaving Paris and travelling the world, seeing all the sights. We had a tearful goodbye and I got a bit depressed. I wasn't eating very well but then I thought about Bella and how well she had done. I realised that the quicker I got better, the quicker I could get out of here and travel with Bella.
I have now been in the centre for about 10 months and I am getting to leave tomorrow. I still have trouble with food sometimes, but I know that whenever I'm struggling I can just talk to Bella and she helps me. She is coming with her mum to pick me up tomorrow. Oh yeah that's the best part, I'm getting to live with Bella and her family until we finish school. Her mum is really kind to take me in and I don't think I'll ever be able to thank her enough. It's going to be really emotional tomorrow because I'm going to have to say goodbye to Angela. She has become one of my best friends, I feel like I can tell her everything. She's already told me that I can phone her anytime I need someone to talk to which I think will help me to completely get better.
So there you have it, that's my story. I have no parents, I am recovering from an eating disorder yet I am really happy. I have the world's best friend and a great therapist. My life is now going great and I feel great. So I am eternally thankful to Angela and Bella for healing me.