Two Weeks, Two Hours, To Healing

by

LorMesorLAM

on Jan 4th, 2008

written after " Untethered " I know another one about that episode. Sorry.

Disclaimers...The characters Bobby Goren and Alex Eames do not belong to me. Ild be rich if they did. I am writing this purely for entertainment purposes only. I am not making any money from this. Also I do not have a beta reader. So any mistakes, please forgive me. Feedback as always. Should I continue or make it a one shot ?

Lori

" Bobby, Please open up. Im not leaving until you do. And I know youre in there. " She said. She placed her ear close to the door and was just about to knock again when she heard his heavy footsteps coming towards the door. Then she heard the chain lock on the door sliding back. The distinct click of the deadbolt caused her to move back from the door a bit. When the door opened up, standing there before her was her partner. Bobby Goren. All of his six foot four inch frame and broad shoulders. He wore a tight white t-shirt and his dark blue NYPD sweats. White socks adorned his size 13 feet. His facial expressions, dark,red rimmed eyes and all, told a solemn tale. She knew he had been crying but to speak that would embarrass him, so she chose to overlook it. The lines on his face made him look older than his 45 years and spoke volumes of the pain he quietly endured.

What Bobby had been through during those seven days...One hundred and sixty eight hours...well, it was unbeleivably tough. And to top it all off, it might have been all in vain. His brother had been using all along and his nephew Donny, well, he just might turn out to be one of Franks junkie friends. Lying to him was one thing, but lying to her, Bobby wouldnt stand for that. She knew he was more upset about that than anything. And it was too late to fix anything. What was done was done. Change could not happen. Bobbys 168 hour ordeal in hell, would be forever etched in both of their minds. Although Bobby felt vindicated because he felt that what he did began an investigation into the unecessary torture, abuse and death of the prisoners at Tates Correctional Facility. He felt no matter what they did, however bad their crimes within society were, To kill them just for the sake of killing them was wrong and watching them as they slipped from this world...well, that was cruelty beyond his comprehension. Warden Bellis...She must have been getting off watching each one suffer and die. Alex thought for a moment...How dangerously close her partner had come to that very same fate. It was almost too much for her to bear. Heck, for both of them to bear.

The Cheif of Ds had doled out his sentance...Indefinate suspension. And he wasnt to return to work until he was cleared by psych services. Alex knew that it bothered Bobby to a certain degree, but she also knew that Bobby wouldnt challenge the ruling. To do so would almost certainly mean that he would lose his job, and he liked what he did too much. Besides, like she thought to herself before, Bobby knew what he did was right. So guess what...FUCK the cheif of Ds. He could rot in hell for how he felt and treated her partner.

Looking into Bobbys eyes she knew there was something else he felt bad about. Probably the write ups that were going into hers and Rosss jackets. Because of him, they would be marked for the rest of their careers. She had to get him to talk about this. She had to make him see, that everything was alright.

So they stood there for a moment, looking silently into each others eyes. Bobby leaned into his door and saw his partners red rimmed eyes.

" She was crying too? " he thought to himself... " but why? "

One more second. She looked at him and said quietly " Hey. Im glad I didnt have to break down the door. "

It was a lame attempt at trying to get a smile out of him.

Surprisingly, it worked. There was a small hint of a smile. " Hey " he said back.

Another quiet second.

" Look Bobby. " she said " Weve got to talk about this. You gonna invite me in ? "

she asked.

He looked over at her and gestured to her with his right arm to come in.

Once she was inside the apartment, he closed the door and she took off her coat.

" Let me take that. " he said.

She gave it over to him and watched as he went over to the closet and hung it up.

She went to take off her shoes and he told her that she didnt have to worry about it.

" You want something to drink? " he asked.

She looked over at the clock...3am. Maybe she should have some coffee. This will be a long night and then shell have to go back to work at around seven.

" Ive got Half and half and all the sugar you want. " he said

She laughed. Then nodded.

He disappeared into his kitchen and put on a pot. After a few minutes, he re-appeared in the living room to find her up and looking at his collection of books. Some very rare first editions.

" Itll be a few minutes. " he said

She startled for a moment. Then turned and looked at him. " No problem. Can we sit for a minute ? " she asked.

She walked over to the large black leather sofa and sunk into its soft cushions. So did he.

" Look Bobby..." she said before she was cut off.

" Alex..." he said as he interrupted her "Please, before we really get into this...I wanted to say...no...I have to say... Im sorry. "
She looked deep into his eyes . Right where the truth was buried.

" Sorry ? " she said. " Bobby...Theres nothing to be sorry for. "

He squirmed in his seat. He had to say something...he wanted to.

" Bobby. Theres nothing you can say to me that I have to forgive you for. And you didnt do anything to warrent my forgiveness. Were partners. "

" But..." he said " But what about the write-ups ? Theyll be there in yours and Rosss jackets until the end of your careers. What about that Alex ? Neither one of us can fix that. "

" Bobby...I dont care about that. I made my decision to stay partnered with you a long time ago. And Im determined to keep it that way. As for Ross, I cant speak for him...BUT... Dont second guess him though. He was there for you with me. Backing you up. When you needed him the most. I think he just pretends to be a hardass sometimes...you know...just because he has to. Hes coming around. "

Bobby was not totally convinced.

" I just wish this didnt have to happen. I mean, Frank...he was a prick, he played us. He lied to you...He lied to you Alex. And Im beginning to think that Donny was lying too. I think Donny was nothing more than one of Franks junkie friends. Maybe he was Franks supplier." he said.

Alex reached across the sofa and put her hand on his arm. She looked him in the eye and said " I know...I feel the same way you do. And I know you would have liked it if this never happened, but it did. And theres not a damned thing we can do to change that. You did what you did for the greatest of reasons. "

" Yeah but, I not only endangered my own life...I put both of our careers on the line and put you in a precarious position. Now Ross is in the middle of it too. Explain to me one thing if you can Alex...How can anything that I do make up for everything Ive done ? How Alex ? " he asked her in an agitated tone.

She was quiet. This was one of those...damned if you do or damned if you dont deals. Nothing she said would have been right. There was no right or wrong answer.

Bobby stood there for a second. " Just as I thought. " he said. Then he turned around and started to head towards the kitchen to get their coffee.

Alex got up quickly from the sofa and held out her hand towards him.

" Ah...Bobby...Before you go in there...Please hear me out. "

He stopped in his tracks and turned around.

" There really is no concrete answer to that. All I can come up with is time. Time Bobby. Thats the answer.

If youll let me encourage you, youll see I mean every word of this. Eventually this too will find a place of its own.

Did you do th right thing ? " she asked him.

He nodded his head yes.

" Did you do what you thought was right ? " she asked him again.

He nodded again. This time trying to withold tears that threatened to burst out onto his face.

He spoke in almost a whisper. " Yes... but once again, You helped me...went out on a limb for me. "

" Yes ...I did. And It was my decision. And thank God I did. Because if I didnt...Yould be dead Bobby. Just like Jay. And no-one would have known. As it was, Ross and I got to you just in time. You were so badly dehydrated. that..well you know the rest. Two weeks ago, for three long days and nights you were lying in the hospital getting re-hydrated. Jesus Bobby...All I kept thinking about, besides your quick recovery, was what my life would have been like if you had succumbed to that torture. . I even went back to Judge Garrett. And how you felt when Doctor Shimo called to tell you that your mother had a psychotic break and had to be restrained. I remember what you looked like when you came back from Carmel Ridge that Monday. When you slept, I cried and thanked God for your safe return. I never once left your side. I couldnt. I saw the wounds on your wrists and ankles from being restrained. And Im not stupid. A persons psyche can be broken in as little as twelve hours if you deny him or her the basic needs of life. You were strong Bobby. Dont let anyone tell you different. You survived. You have greater resistence in your pinky finger than most people have in their entire being. I have to tell you all of this because its important to me that you know and understand that things are alright. " She wanted to hug him but she knew better. Bobby might be a dog with some of the other women he dated but Alex was much more than that to him. They werent dating but they were just about as close as a man and woman can be without the physical closeness.

Bobby didnt know what to say or how to react. It was in these moments with his partner that he wanted to take things to the next level. What could he do? He looked over to her and put his head down.

She looked at him. His broken and sullen form. " Aww Bobby. Come here. He moved closer to her and probably for the very first time ever, the two drew together in a healing hug. Alex let her tears flow freely and backed away slightly and looked at him. " Go ahead Bobby, Let it out. You cant keep it locked up forever. " They drew close once again and she felt his release. Not in tears . Bobbys body shook like the temperature had dropped to thirty below. he was like that for at least a few minutes. Too much happened too fast. The last two years, Bobby and Alex had had incredibly intense situations that seemed to get worse with each case. He missed his mother beleive it or not. He had cut off Frank, Lost Donny. Almost lost Alex, Damn near got shot...the list just went on and on. Finally he started to calm down and Alex could feel his body begin to relax. He backed away and noticed the clock. Five am. Alex wasnt going home. Sheld stay with him tonight. Held take the couch.

He looked down at her. " You still want that coffee? " he asked.

" It smells great. Sure Ill take a cup. I got a long day tomorrow. Ross put me on desk duty until you got back." she said.

Bobby smiled.

He walked into the kitchen and she followed him. After he poured them both a cup, they sat together in his kitchen, drinking coffee, feeling a bit better. They still had alot more to talk about but at least Bobby understood that everything was alright.

In two weeks and two hours,Bobby had found his healing strength in his best friend.