Chapter 1: Back to LA

Loren's POV

I can't believe we moved back to LA! Why mom, why are you doing this to me? You saw with your own eyes how much better I was doing when we moved to New York 14 years ago. This city brings back the kind of memories I tried my whole life to push away, knowing that I would never be able to forget them. Unfortunately for me the company my mom was working at had to close because they got in money problems. My cousin Grace is the one who found my mom this new job in LA. Grace was a bartender at a fancy club at sunset strip. The owner still needed someone to do the books, so Grace recommended my mom Nora for the job. My mom immediately accepted, knowing that this was a ones in a life time chance. I was happy that she had a job. I just didn't like the idea of moving back to LA, but this wasn't about me, I had to be strong for my mom and stop whining about what happened 14 years ago. I knew that if I talked to my mom that she would stay in New York, but she had let so many things slip away, she gave so many things up for me. I couldn't be the one holding her back. So that's how I ended up moving back to La. Now I'm here in Tarzana in the Valley. Laying on my bed in my new room, in my new house. It was 4pm and I decided that I needed some fresh air. So I got up and went to the kitchen, where my mom was.

''Hey honey, are you done unpacking your stuff?'' my mom asked when she saw me. ''Yeah, uhm mom is it allright if I go out for a while? I asked. ''Are you sure that's a good idea?'' Nora asked with concern in her eyes. I faked a smile and answered her ''I'm allright mom, I just need some fresh air. I will be home before dinner.'' I saw my mom giving in, I knew she was concerned about me being back in LA. ''Allright honey, be carefull'' ''I will'' I said. I gave my mom a kiss and walked out of the door.

I took my car and drove to Griffith Park. I wondered if any thing had changed in the past 14 years. When I arrived at Mulholland drive I stepped out of my car, locked it and made my way up to the hill. When I walked up I saw that nothing had changed. It felt so weird to be here at age 18 instead of age 4.

I saw the old lonely tree. The tree still had my engraving in it. My dad made it with a knife, he had scratched my name and my age in it. 4Loren, like the tree was made just for me. I sat down, resting my back against it. I looked at the view and felt like the 4 year old kid that was so amazed about how little the houses looked. Sitting at my old spot, memories started to fload into my head.

I remembered being a happy 4 years old kid, living down the hill with my mom and dad. Just an average normal happy family. Unfortunately it couldn't stay that way. Reality hit me when I realised that all the good things never last forever. One night I was up at the hill watching a meteor shower with my dad. It was one of the best nights of my life back then. And just like that I had to experience how the worse night of my life felt. My parents started to have arguements, and those arguements turned into real bad fights, I could here the yelling when they thought I was asleep. I just kept telling myself that they would made up and that everything would be okay again. One night they where fighting again, I wish I didn't decide to walk out of my room. That way maybe I wouldn't have heard my dad saying that he never wanted a child. I wouldn't have seen him walking out of the door, without even looking back. That day my whole world came crashing down. I cried and asked my mom where my daddy was, what I did wrong? And my mom just held me and kept crying that it wasn't my fault.

I felt tears falling down my cheek, I didn't even realise I was crying. I never cried. I wanted to be strong for my mom. The day after my dad walked away, I wasn't the same kid without any worries. No I tried to let my mom see that I was responsible and that she could count on me. Me a 4 years old kid!

I wiped the tears away when lyrics started to fload into my head:

Four years old

With my back to the door

All I could hear was the family war

Your selfish hands

Always expecting more

Am I your child

Or just a charity ward?

Tears started to fall down again. I quickly wiped them away and stood up to go back home.

When I arrived home I saw my mom laying on the coutch watching tv.

''Hey mom'' I simply said when I walked in.

My mom stood up from the coutch, ''Hey Loren, are you oke? she asked while pulling me in a hug.

I returned her hug. ''I will be, I just need some time to start to see LA as my home again.''

''I'm so sorry Loren for putting you in this position. I know how hard this is, but it will get better I promise.''

I smiled at her ''I know mom, I know.''

We walked to the kitchen and I started to set the table while my mom made a salad. When we sat down I saw that my mom had made Lasagna. My favourite food. I thought it was sweet how she was trying to make me feel good.

''So tell me Loren, are you excited about your first day at school?''

''Hmmm, yes I think so, I just don't know what to expect.''

''Don't worry, everything is going to work itself out.''

''Thanks mom, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.''

''Goodnight honey.''

I helped cleaning the table and went to my room. I changed into my pyjamas and took my journal. I wrote the lyrics I came up with at the hill, and went to sleep. Tomorrow was my first day at West Valley Charter. I just hoped that my mom was right and that everything was going to be oke. Even though I knew that it would never last.

So what did you guys think? This is my first fanfiction, I'm sorry if this isn't as interesting as you expected, but it will get better I promise! Let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas just review or PM me. I might update tonight, if I don't than I will definetely update tomorrow! Big shout out to: fanfictionFANGIRL1623 That girl is simply amazing! She is the one who actually encouraged me to start writing a fanfic. Make sure to read her stories too!

See you soon!

xxx- ImagingMe