Happy Days?
Chapter One
Disclaimer: I do not own How I Met Your Mother.
Author's Note: The story is AU after Season 6 episode 16. Comments are welcome. And I'm super rusty at writing so this could be bad. I honestly don't know how I feel about this story. Hopefully you guys will like it.
Chapter One
"You should call her." I tell Barney.
"Why would I call her? Nora's gross." Barney said in his high pitched voices which gave away the fact he was lying. I find it so weird that I want to slap Barney for acting like an over grown child yet I want to smile at the way Barney get so easily flustered when I bring up Nora. I can't help but push him into this because I want him to be, I don't know. Happy? Yeah I think happy is the right word.
"I never said you should call Nora." I said with a smile, catching his slip. I wait for some sort of reply but he sits quietly, pouting.
Five minutes of silence is enough to piss me off. So I give up trying to talk to him. Instead I pull out a pen and write Nora's number on a napkin.
"Okay I guess I'll just leave this number here for whoever wants it" I say as I slide out of the booth with my drink. I don't really know what to do now so I go over to the bar.
"Hey can I buy you a drink?" said a tall stranger now hovering over me. That was fast. I guess he's good looking enough to buy me a drink. But one glance at his shoes tells me that he isn't a guy I'd want to date or even have a conversation with.
"I'm Steve."
"Robin." I mechanically flash him my news reporter smile and he eats it all up. I can't help but want to sigh at the easy at which men are enticed by me.
The guy with the tacky shoes starts rambling and I glance over at Barney. He still hasn't picked up the number. Jackass. Why can't he grow up and have an actual relationship with someone or treat a woman like a human being and not just a pair of boobs.
"Robin?"
"huh?" I reply hoping he doesn't notice I'm not paying attention.
"I said are you originally from New York?"
"Oh no. I've live in New York for over 5 years."
"oh." Steve replied.
Barney had finally picked up the number, his cell phone in his hand.
"So you like scotch?"
"Who doesn't like scotch?"
Barney has dialed the numbers.
"Listen I don't do this very often," Barney was talking on the phone," and I totally understand if you," Barney was smiling, "don't want to but just you seem really nice," I've never seen Barney smile like that before, ever, "and I was just wondering if?" Barney hung up the phone and I could tell Nora had said yes by the way he's smiling at his drink, allowing himself to be vulnerable for a few seconds.
I interrupted the stuttering man and say "If I'd like to go home with you? Yes?" I don't know what made me say this, maybe because I couldn't face Barney gloating about his success.
"I was actually going to ask you if you'd like to get a cup of coffee sometime." Steve mumbled trying to hide his discomfort.
I felt the sting of rejection and it must have shown on my face because he quickly replied, "Oh no don't take it that way please. You're beautiful. It's just I just got out of a serious relationship and I'm finally trying to date, so I want to take things slow. And you seem really nice and just..." I still felt embarrassed from my assumption. I want to leave and nurse my wounded ego.
"Okay well it was nice meeting you Steve I'd better get going." I quickly leave the bar hoping the coldness outside will blow away all the embarrassment I felt.
"Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, you gotta help me" Barney whined.
I roll my eyes as I get a beer from the refrigerator.
"I can't Barney. I told you I have to use all my ideas to plan a romantic dinner for Zoey this weekend. She's expecting something big. Besides you're just doing this to get Nora's pants. She's just another one of your bimbos."
I guess Barney still hadn't admitted his feelings to anyone yet, am I the only one who noticed the way he felt about her? I hesitant on sitting on the couch because then I would risk being forced into the conversation. But I sit down anyway hoping that if I timed my sips of beer to the pauses in conversations, I could successfully remain a bystander.
"Robin I'm surprised that you're okay with Barney trying to sleep with one of your friends." Ted said.
Crap, thanks Ted, so much for not being a part of the conversation.
" I'm fine with it." I say, hoping it would be the end of the conversation.
"Really Robin?" Ted looks… Surprised?
I frown, "yeah why wouldn't I be okay with it. Nora's a big girl."
Ted seemed like he was about to say more but Barney interrupts him, "Okay I got what I needed. Later." Barney grabbed his coat and headed for the door.
Ted looked over at Barney, "What do you have in your hand?"
"NOTHinggg" Barney's voices now sounded like a chipmunk.
"Is that my idea's journal in your hand?"
"NOOO"
Barney ran for the door and Ted jumped off the couch to stop him. But Barney slammed the door before Ted could reach it. Ted ended up running into the door and falling on to the floor.
I snort, almost shooting beer out my nose.
Ted gets up and brushes off his pants and just looks at me.
Crap. He has his lecture face on. I do my best to come up with an escape plan. I could run into my room but he could block me off. I could go out the window but I might break a bone and then Ted would surely catch me. I settled for staring really hard at the TV screen trying to hold off the conversation that Ted will quickly ignite. There is nothing I can do to prevent it.
"You're seriously okay with this?"
"Yes." I snap back quickly trying to defuse the bomb that is Ted Mosby.
"Right" he says. I can practically hear him eyes roll. I'm tempted to ignore his sarcasm but Ted always uses sarcasm at its lowest form. Ted hasn't master the subtle technique of sarcasm where the listener is subtly snubbed and has lost the argument. Ted uses sarcasm like a 10 year old that just looked the word up in the dictionary and decided to give it a go. Ted is the guy who looks out at the rainy sky and says 'well at least it's a nice day.' And you're tempted to strangle him because it's not like you haven't heard that before.
But Ted is one of your best friends so I can't kill him in his sleep. He's a great guy and gave me a home but sometimes I just want to smack him.
I look over at Ted and he's got his dad look on.
"Robin, do you..?"
"No." My voice got really high when I said this and for a moment I wonder why I'm acting weird. But I push the thought away. Dad Ted was rearing its ugly head and I'd have to deal with it before it became a bigger problem and mom Lily got involved.
"Listen Ted, I care about Barney but there is nothing left between us. I just want him to be happy."
I quickly go back to staring at the TV, hoping the conversation is over.
"Then why were you snapping at me?"
"Because you're too hard on him and you never take him seriously." I don't take my eyes off the TV.
My last statement finally quiets Ted down.
"You're right." He finally said, "It's just hard to believe that Barney could fall for someone else. It's just he's Barney and... Just it's weird. I mean, Lily's front porch."
I rip my eyes of the TV screen and glare at Ted. "What?"
Lily's front porch? I hope to god he wasn't talking about what I thinking he talking about.
Ted shrank away from me.
"NOTHING!" Cried ted, who now sounded like 5 year old girl; I mental gloat that I could reduce him to a little girl.
"What are you talking about?"
Ted runs for his room. What faulty logic, he should have gone for the front door. He might have escaped.
"I don't think so Mosby." I yell.
I hop off the couch and lung on to his back which causes him to crash to the floor.
"Ouch."
"Spill it Mosby. Or I will tickle you."
"You wouldn't dare."
I reach over and tickle his armpits and him to start twitching.
"Stop. Stop! I surrender."
I get off him and Ted slowly stumbled to his feet acting like he had just received a hockey injury.
"These were new pants."
I sigh heavily and stare at him pointedly.
"Okay well you know Lily's front porch image?"
"The one where she tests all your future girlfriend by imagining if they can be playing bridge with her and Marshall at an old age?"
"Yeah. Well. You and Barney are a part of the group and part of the porch, and even thought Lily doesn't imagine it; but ever since Barney and you went out, well you guys have always been together in the porch scene for me."
My heart goes into overdrive. Ted is crazy. Barney and I are only friends. Barney in some ways might be the best friend that Lily could never be, but we weren't good together. I try to convey this all in one stare to Ted because I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about my failed relationships with an ex who picks out wedding colors to match the skin tone of his current girlfriend. Zoey's and his current wedding colors are green and pink. Which I disagree with, I think don't think green really compliments Zoey's complexion, maybe something in cream or off white? Oh my god what am I thinking? I'm clearly spending too much time with Ted.
Ted looks at me because I'm taking too long to respond.
"You're crazy." I reply and go back to the couch to watch TV.
"Maybe I am but I'm not the one watching a blank TV screen."
It was a boring day at the bar when Barney came running into the bar and stumbled into the chair at the head of the booth and said "You guys, Nora is with me."
Everyone stares at him.
"And she wants to meet you guys and I don't want you guys to say anything that could let say. Upset her. So you know lie for me."
"I'm not lying." Lily replied smiling.
I followed lily's lead, "I'm not lying either."
Marshall and Ted quickly chorused in after us. Barney's face fell, "But you guyssss. I really like Nora and she could be the one."
Lily smacked Barney in the face, "you liar."
"Okay what do I have to do to get you guys to lie to Nora for me?"
We all are silent for a minute contemplating his request.
"I want a horse." I reply.
"What?" Barney questions, "A horse?"
"Yeah a horse. I mean Marshalls getting Lily a horse and I want one too so we can both have horses."
"Marshall's getting me a horse?" Lily turns to look at Marshall. "Marshall what is Robin talking about?"
"Baby I have no idea. You know reporters they are liars and just make stuff up. It's the thrill of the job. She's an addict." Marshall kept rambling and Lily became more and more suspicious.
"Yeah Ted and Marshall were talking about getting Lily a horse." I replied slightly confused. "Have you guys not gotten it yet?"
Ted winced and tried to stay out of the conversation.
"OKAY you guys, if I buy both Lily and Robin a horse, will you guys lie?" Barney yelled over the arguing voices.
Marshall quickly said yes, and lily narrowed her eyes but nodded. Ted hesitated but folded, and I smiled.
"Okay let me go get her."
"Wait, where is she?" Ted asked.
"Oh I gave her the wrong address, she's probably super lost and circling the block, there is no 234 ½ address." Barney laughed and left the table to go get her.
"You're not off the hook mister but oh my god Robin we're getting horse!" Lily shriek and she clasped her hands together. I smiled back at her.
"So what are we supposed to say about Barney?" Ted inquired.
Marshall looked at all of us and whispered quietly, "It's best if we say nothing directly about Barney."
We all nodded as we saw Barney and Nora walk in.
"I don't know how that ½ symbol got in my text. You know apple phones, always autocorrecting your stuff, getting you in trouble." Barney led Nora to the table, "Everyone this is Nora, Nora, Ted, Marshall Lily, Robin."
Barney grabbed another chair and sat next to Nora at the end of the table.
"So Barney has told me so much about all of you so let me ask you, is he as charming and nice as he seems?" Nora smiled as she finished her sentence.
No one replied to her question. In fact it was amazing how all of us attempted to stare off into directions pretending that she hadn't asked the question. There seemed to be rule that none of us could make eye contact or one of might burst and lily and I wouldn't be getting horses. We better get our horse.
I snuck a peek and Nora. She was pretty and she had an accent. Is that why Barney liked her, because she had an accent? I mean what made her more special than any other woman that he would actually have feelings for her? I could understand why he liked me, I'm Robin Scherbatsky. I mean come on. I'm hot and we were great friends. But Nora, I don't see it. She's nice and pretty but what is it that makes his heart beat faster for her?
Lily accidently made eye contact with Nora and Nora smile in response. Nora looked at lily expecting her to answer, "Oh Barney you know he's Barney. I mean you know him and whatever you think of him must be true….." lily rambled.
"That wasn't too much of a stretch was it?" lily whispered to Marshall.
Marshall shook his head.
"lovely," replied Nora, "he is quite amazing." She grabbed his hand and smiled at him. Barney and Nora gazed at each other and for a moment; the look was too intimate for me. I looked down at my empty hand which at the moment felt too lonely so I grabbed a napkin and started wrenching it together. I hope the look would end soon because it's making me uncomfortable. God I hate feelings, they are so annoying why can't I just be happy for Barney?
"Well I'm glad you guys are dating but I gotta go. Night everyone" Ted said.
"Bye Ted it was nice to meet you."
Ted extended a hand to shake Nora's hand but she stood up and gave Ted a hug.
Nora sat back down she kissed Barney on the cheek.
I think that's my cue to leave. I didn't want to be the 5th wheel.
"yeah I should get going too."
"It was nice seeing you Robin. I'll see you work tomorrow." Nora said as she got up. She reached over towards me. I leaned back.
"what are you doing?"
"I'm giving you a hug silly".
"oh, okay."
I lean forward and let her wrapped her hands around me. I rarely felt awkward but this was one of those moments that I did.
"Okay night everyone."
I quickly walk out of the bar and I can't help but feel upset that Nora hugged me.
It has been four long weeks since Nora met everyone. It was weird when she kept joining us at the bar but now I was finally kind of use to it. She made Barney behave and everyone else seemed to be really taken by her. Which was good. Right? Barney managed to find a girlfriend that he liked and the whole gang liked her; which is surprising because Ted's love life has shown that is a hard thing to do. The only girlfriends Marshall and lily have approved of when it comes to Ted's romantic life were, Stella and well, me. So it was rare for the group to be so welcoming of a new comer. I guess. But I don't really want to think about it. I have a killer hangover. I'm trying to sooth it with gallons of coffee. I've staked my claim on the coffee pot in the staffroom and I'm hovering over it to prevent any of its deliciousness from being stolen from me. I need more coffee to stop this pounding head ache. I need to stop drinking so much.
"Hi Robin!"
Oh her voice is like a whistle. A fleeting second pasted by where I considered grabbing the coffee pot and smashing it against her head so I won't have to hear her voice when I can barely handle hearing my own breathing. But that would hurt the coffee so I settle for wincing at her and she just laughs back. Barney always said her laugh sounded like a bell which almost made my gage all over myself. And right know I don't see it. It sounds more like a freight train trying to hit my head.
"Rough night?"
"You have no idea" I mumble back.
"Ah I'll try to talk quieter so that I don't make your headache worse." She smiles her as she squeeze over me to get some coffee. "I'm pretty tired myself. Last night was a long night."
I wrinkle my nose. I do NOT want to hear about that. I just might actually puke.
"Oh oh, noo, nothing like that Robin. No it's just. Well. Can you keep a secret?" I want her to stop talking. "Oh who am I kidding you must know since you're friends with Barney. Well yesterday Barney was pretty upset." And now I don't want her to stop talking and yet I do. "He had a meeting with, well his father. And I don't know the full story but he came to my place rather upset and we had to stay up late and watch all his favorite movies just to calm him down. I never want to watch Star Wars ever again." Nora laughs and I can't help but laugh with her. That was totally Barney and for a moment we connected but then my laughed almost turn into tears. It's like something inside me snapped. But I laugh some more, not because of Barney but because I feel like a cliché and I keep saying things that are for wimps. I turned my back to her so that she didn't see how liquidly clear my eyes were.
"I should get to work." I say sternly.
"Oh, Okay?"
Nora sounded confused. I was too.