Authors Notes: I own nothing Harry Potter related obviously. I do However; own the characters whose names you don't recognise.
Chapter 1 Ernie sightings and Gilderoy Madness.
It was early on a glorious sunny morning; Hannah Abbott was busy in Madam Puddifoots' coffee shop waiting for a hot cup of tea, trying to glance at the Daily Prophet another person was reading while trying to get her purse out of her bag. "Oi get your own paper." Glancing at the woman behind the counter, she was tapping the counter impatiently with her finger nails. Looking apologetically at the woman, she was digging still further into her bag, determined to find her purse.
Why is it that when you need to find something you never can, especially when there is a queue building and there is some impatient woman tutting at you? It must just be some random thing life just throws at you.
She had finally retrieved her purse, while the people behind her were clapping and cheering, some even making comments like: "Finally." Grinning sheepishly she handed the money over and took her tea, she then made her way forlornly out of the shop like a dog that's been scalded.
Checking her bag to make sure she put her purse back in, she bumped into someone walking along the path. She saw that it was her friend and partner Natalie York," Hello must be the coffee I'm rushing around all over the place today." They walked together and decided to go to the sweetshop to stock up as they liked to have a bowl on the counter so customers could take one when they leave.
Natalie was struck by a sudden thought and said "So how did last night go? I heard you had a hot date," Looking at Hannah for a reaction and right on schedule she blushed, smiling Natalie replied "So it went that well?" Hannah talked about everything that happened on said date right up until he walked her home.
Natalie winked at Hannah and said" Did he try to kiss you? All romantic like? You know what men are like they'll try anything once," Grinning and gesturing madly she didn't notice where she was going, she bumped into someone else and this time she fell over. As she did though she didn't notice she was holding on to the other persons arm, bringing him down with her.
Trying not to laugh but failing miserably, Natalie hoisted Hannah up and then pulled up the other clumsy person. "Hannah, how do you ever manage to stand up right?" Hannah dusted herself off and apologised profusely to the man. She suddenly noticed who it was. His eyes were as blue as the sky, she was instantly transported to their days a t Hogwarts; studying for exams, practicing spells on an unsuspecting Filch.
Natalie waved her arm in front of her face, Hannah then seemed to come to herself. She heard a distinct buzzing of conversation around her and trying to figure out what they were saying so she could contribute, she noticed that Natalie was giggling loudly at something Ernie had said and Hannah felt a frisson of jealousy building.
Coughing to try and get their attention, she realised she sounded like a moody school girl trying to get people to notice her. Natalie heard the sound Hannah made and tried not to laugh, jealous much? God I'm not going to kiss him in the middle of Hogsmeade for goodness sake. Get a grip Hannah. She thought to herself if she wasn't my friend this would be quite funny, actually this is still quite funny.
Touching Ernie's arm just a little bit, Natalie wondered if Hannah would see and react, she did and if looks could kill she would be on the floor dead faster than you could say Avada Kedavra.
Hannah began talking to Ernie about what she had been up to since Hogwarts and found out that Ernie was now Professor of Herbology. He had also found out that she owns a book shop.
Ernie was impressed, "A book shop that's good, you always liked reading. I'd always imagined you owning a bookshop." Hannah couldn't take her eyes off Ernie; Ernie was touching her arm and leaning into her listening intently.
Natalie was getting frustrated with the both of them; they are both so bleeding obvious. I wish they'd kiss already; it's like watching one of those slow starting films where nothing happens.
Hannah nodded and tried to listen as Ernie began talking and smiling, she really couldn't take her eyes off him he was so gorgeous. His smile. And those cute dimples. Damn he's stopped talking he wants me to speak.
Ernie looked Hannah worriedly; he waved his hands in front of her face, "Hannah I was just saying we should get a drink after you finish at the book shop, you know catch up we haven't spoken for ages," Hannah looked up and realised what she did, blushing she nodded and said: "Yeah sounds good want to meet at the Three Broomsticks?" They had just arranged a time to meet when Ernie hugged Hannah and said: "It's been really good seeing you, see you later. Nice to see you again Natalie." Hannah just stood there gazing back at Ernie stunned at the hug, Natalie waved goodbye to Ernie; looked at Hannah and laughed.
Natalie was still laughing at Hannah just standing right in the middle of Hogmeade staring after Ernie like a love sick puppy, shaking her head she started pushing Hannah in the direction of the book shop, coming to herself, finally Hannah blushed at the direction today had taken her, who would have thought I'd ever see Ernie McMillan, man of my dreams ever again? Today has got a whole lot better already.
Natalie watched Hannah blush, she said "What was all that about? Ernie was asking perfectly normal questions and you started acting all weird?" Hanna shook her head and replied, "Nothing, I'm just pleased to see him. That's all." Natalie snorted, and Hannah said "What,"
Natalie said, "Oh nothing, I mean I was pleased to see the guy as well, but I wasn't panting all over him like a dog in heat," Hannah was shocked into silence, she didn't realise she'd been like that I mean it's not every day the man that you like comes into your life the second time around, the first time was at Hogwarts but she was a kid and she didn't think he liked her in that way.
"Stop looking so scandalised I'm only joking, you weren't really like that; you are so easy to wind up. Besides it's so obvious that you fancy Ernie, why don't you tell him you like him?" Natalie said. Hannah hadn't considered telling Ernie about her feelings; she was concerned about being friends again after the whole thing with Voldemort. They had lost contact. That's the way things go when you leave school, you move on and make friends in other places.
They had finally got to their shop; Hannah was feeling kind of hyper and was dancing around like a mad person. Hannah finally noticed Louise waiting outside the shop, Hannah came bounding over hugged her; picked her up twirled her around. Natalie looked on worriedly god Hannah has really lost it she thought.
Hannah then put poor dizzy confused Louise down and then composed herself and opened the door, "What was all that about? Has Hannah finally lost plot?"Louise said; as she followed Natalie through the door.
"I'll explain later. " Natalie promised as she took their handbags into the storage room, Hannah then decided to put all the stock away with her wand. Louise helped, Hannah then decided to write the dreaded letter to the guy she was going to cancel on. Now how should she start?
Louise and Natalie noticed Hannah bent low over the counter concentrating hard on something, looking at each other they crept over and decided to scare the living daylights out of her. Natalie grabbed her around the waist and Louise touched her shoulders.
Hannah on target jumped into the air looking at the two girls laughing their heads off. "You two are a pain, haven't you got work to do?" looking suitably told off, they walked away. Natalie looked back saying "who's the letter to?" Hannah put the paper and quill to one side deciding to do it later replied "Remember that guy I had date with tonight? Well I'm cancelling."
"Why?" Natalie asked abruptly, Louise shook her head at Natalie and before Hannah could explain she replied," Ernie of course, she isn't interested in anyone else."
Hannah blushed," Not really the point but I can't meet Ernie and then see this other guy it would be too weird."
"Hannah- Ernie has only just come in to the picture again after all these years, I know you still fancy him but think about it. He has probably got a girlfriend by now."
Hannah stuck her tongue out at Natalie," Stop trying to squash my enthusiasm over Ernie I know he isn't dating anyone else, he really isn't and I'll be fine you two stop worrying."
Hannah changed the sign to Open; she couldn't get what Natalie said out of her head, she knew it would be stupid to assume Ernie didn't have a girlfriend. But Hannah couldn't give up that easily, she had fancied Ernie for ages and she had to find out if he liked her as well.
Natalie was sorting the cash from the safe. Louise was sorting out the booklist from Hogwarts staff, keeping some back for herself. Hannah then decided not to cancel on the guy, it wasn't fair to him. She could have a few drinks with Ernie and meet him afterwards, simple.
Hannah decided though to write Susan Bones a letter telling her all about the Ernie sighting, she also asked her if she had any plans soon for a girl's night. Beckoning her owl to her, she tied the letter to its leg, and opened the window then it flew out.
Louise remembered the state Hannah came to work in and commented" So Hannah, what was all that about then this morning? Had too many coffees or have you finally gone mental. I mean having Natalie as a best friend will do that to you." Natalie threw a cushion at Louise at said comment.
Natalie looked thoroughly upset at the suggestion that she was some kind of escaped mental person on the run and that she was contagious, anyway you couldn't catch mental-ness, " Oi you; it was Ernie induced madness. Wasn't it Hannah?"
Louise looked at the pair of them. They were as bad as each other, "That's not a medically recognised illness." Louise then went to the storage room and came back carrying the strangest cardboard cut out panting slightly and leaning against said cardboard cut out.
Natalie said. "Really? Well it should be, the symptoms are quickening heartbeat; coming over all faint" – as she said this Natalie swayed on the spot with her arm over head," and occasional stuttering," Louise finally understood.
"Wait Ernie McMillan! He's professor of Herbology now, god I'm glad I wasn't there. Imagine how totally embarrassing that could have been. The horror" Louise looked relieved she had not been there to witness that potentially awkward situation.
Hannah shook her head. Oh to be 15 again, when the height of un- cool was to be seen talking to a teacher outside of school. Doing a suggestive dance she came over to Hannah and said," Though he is gorgeous. I do notice that when we have his class the girls actually pay attention to what he is saying." Hannah looked suitably shocked at what Louise said about Ernie and she was a little bit jealous about other girls looking at him that way.
Damn it girl stop getting silly they have a stupid crush on the teacher, and who can blame them? Ernie is really, really gorgeous. He has lovely eyes; she thought and was not paying attention to anything.
Natalie noticed Hannah go off to Hannah land again probably having Ernie daydreams again, "Quick Louise she's having Ernie themed thoughts. Get a bucket of water." Louise looked at Natalie like she was mad," Well okay that's a bit drastic, okay look shove her."
Louise shook her head," I'm not shoving her it could lead to me being sacked. I know I'll wave my hands in front of her face." Natalie sighed.
"Oh thank you genius, what brilliant and clever plans you come up with, next you'll be telling me to poke her in the eye." Hannah looked up at all the commotion, just as Natalie was ready to slap her she said," What's going on?"
"Finally! We thought we'd lost you to those Ernie fantasies, were they any good? I bet Ernie was dressed up in his Hogwarts robes, like a man in a uniform Eh, Hannah?"
Hannah blushed beet red and Natalie started singing "Hannah loves Ernie" Louise joined in and added a dance routine, dancing around the shop singing a customer came in. The customer looked shocked and disapproving, as though the mere thought of singing and dancing merrily was the state that all young people were mad.
Hannah walked the customer around them, just as they were working out a second verse. And asked if she needed any help, the lady declined and wondered off to a different section of the bookshop. Muttering about how in "her day it was different and young ladies should conduct themselves with a little decorum". Mad old bat, try laughing for a change, you miserable old sod. Hannah thought as she walked away to see Natalie and Louise leaning against the counter, looking very out of breath.
Natalie had something in her hand and was waving it about," Guess who's got a book signing this afternoon?" Natalie grinned as she saw Hannah and Louise trying to work it out, having not seen the schedule.
"We give up, who has a book signing this afternoon?"
"I'll give you a clue he has won Witch Weekly's most charming smile award five times, when we were in school he released his autobiography "Magical me" and he was our useless second year Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."
Hannah looked repulsed, "Great Gilderoy Lockhart will be here, and making middle aged women part with their money while winking cheekily at them," Hannah shook her head. She couldn't believe he was here promoting another book, it took her right back to the summer of her second year. The women queuing up to meet him then were vicious; she ended up with bruises over her arm after that day, being pushed and shoved.
Louise picked the book up showing the others the cover; it had a couple being rather close. Like those Mills and Boon book covers only with the added bonus of including magic. "It seems he wasn't content with banishing Banshees, he now fancies himself as some kind of Lord Flash-heart." Putting the book back on the pile, Louise shook her head.
"Louise- how do you know about Gilderoy Lockheart?" Hannah asked puzzled.
"Oh my mum has a collection of his old books and photo's, such a big fan. She was relieved when his memory came back."
Hannah looked surprised at what Louise had said," Anyway I got a phone call from numerous women wondering if they could ask him questions about his life. Well I asked his manager and he says its okay."
Natalie looked shocked," Really. Did they sound mad? Why would they even bother, the man's as useful as an elephant in an antiques shop. Can you imagine the questions though, "Oh Gilderoy will you marry me." What hair care routine do you have? Are you single or married?"
Hannah and Louise watched as Natalie pretended to violently throw up behind the cut out of the man in question, both laughing Hannah said "Great just what this shop needs swooning middle aged women, come to think of it I'll get some more chairs around in case some of them are over come." Hannah lifted her wand and a number of chairs floated into the main shop floor from the back room storage area.
Natalie then noticed a Hagrid shaped shadow looking conspicuous in the Animal section, nudging the other two girls they decided to sneak up on him, Hagrid being the size he is doesn't scare easily it was worth a try, Hagrid looked around shiftily and wasn't paying attention; the girls scared him to within an inch of his life.
"Bloody Hell, Oh it's you three. I still see you are up to your usual mischief." Laughing Hannah asked if there was anything they could do for him, and if he is still in touch with Harry, Ron and Hermione.
"No haven't seen them so much lately, they have children now so. I've met them though- right little trouble makers, take after their dads," How are you two girls doing Louise I see quite often, but you two not so much now you've left- are you still causing trouble?" Hannah was dumb struck she didn't think she was that much of a rule breaker, okay so she occasionally joined in with some pranks now and again. But to hear Hagrid talk you'd think I was some Fred and George clone.
"Natalie still causes trouble, much to my amusement and frustrations. But I have mended my small time pranking ways, haven't I Natalie?" Natalie was repulsed by the way Hannah was talking she did join in it was true, but she had to be persuaded and only when Ernie had convinced her then she would do it.
"Yeah properly ashamed of her I was; who's going to be my fellow partner in crime? Although she did not join in, I mean I have to carry on my Pranking. I did promise the pranking gods that I would. They can be scary."
Hannah had to forcefully refrain from rolling her eyes at Natalie, I mean pranking gods. What in the name of hell is she talking about? Louise was listening intently to the pleasing conversation," Oh dear Natalie was known well by the staff at Hogwarts and especially Filch. She had taken to practising new spells on him and because he was a squib. He could never fight back; she had this signature spell as well it was quite good practising it on unsuspecting Slytherins."
Natalie was bowing, curtseying and waving to some random customers as they walked past them, they moved on shaking their heads. Louise was thrilled and was pestering Natalie to teach her the tricks of the trade.
"Oh god Natalie no, you can't go around corrupting young girls head it's not right. Anyway we can't have you wondering around with a head as inflated as Gilderoy Lockhart's," Hannah noted with amusement as Natalie began practising her signature on a bit of discarded parchment.
"You are just jealous that I have a talent for mischief, I could write a book and pass on my wonderful skills as a prankster to the next generation." Then she suddenly whizzed past to the back room to fetch something, coming back panting slightly she placed a piece of parchment on the counter and concentrating she began sketching out a few ideas.
Yeah I should write a book about mad people and I could use Natalie as a case study, that would be enough crazy for a whole booklist, Hannah thought. "What are you planning to call this masterpiece then? How about: Mad things I did at Hogwarts that I never got expelled for. Or: How to completely waste time in school, with pointless things and never do any home work." Natalie shook her head.
"No, I need catchier titles. Besides that last one would never fit on the front cover," Hannah decided to warn Louise about the dangers of spending too much time with Natalie, I'm surprised I haven't ended up that mad yet, Hannah thought as she busied herself with getting things ready for the envitable frenzy of Gilderoy worshippers.
"Natalie so what's this signature spell then?" Louise asked as she walked over to Natalie. They were huddled over in the corner while Hannah was dealing with the customers; trust them to be trying to get out of doing any work. Hannah thought to herself.
"So what is this idea you have then trainee prankster, you are now under the guiding influence of the master." Natalie held Louise's hands like she was the god of the earth.
Louise was talking quiet and in hushed tones," Well I was thinking of playing a spectacular prank on Snape, I know he's my head of house. But he is a right prat." Natalie looked positively gleeful at this.
They continued like that for a while, Hannah hearing pieces of conversation as she went past them" Shall we call the plan operation Snape is a greasy git," Oh so amusing and original, that won't give them away at all. Hannah thought sarcastically as she went to get some Butter beers. Coming back through and hearing something else, Natalie said calmly," I always thought Snape was quite gorgeous all dark and menacing."
Laughing and trying to breathe Louise said "You can't mean Snape the king of all that is greasy?" Hannah was shocked at this, not once did she mention at Hogwarts that Natalie had a thing for supposedly dark wizards, must remember that one it might come in handy as bargaining tool. While she was considering her options she decided to set up the area for the book signing.
Must remember to lay out biscuits for people and lay out chairs for the photographer she thought as she waved her wand and the table came whizzing past narrowly missing Natalie, "Watch it Hannah when this book is published I need to meet my public, I can't go around with body parts missing." Hannah laughed and said" You never know it might make you more interesting and you might sell a few more books."
Natalie went over to Hannah and hit her playfully on the arm while Louise looked on smiling," So I see you two have stopped your revenge plans on Snape I see? Are you ready to do some work?" Natalie nodded," Yeah we have at the moment. But you'll see it will work, it will be brilliant. People will be talking about it for years."
"Convenient though isn't it? How you won't be at Hogwarts doing the prank, while Louise is and she will be the one getting in trouble for it." Hannah said looking at Louise.
"Ah but that doesn't matter Snape favour Slytherin's over all the other houses, he won't punish me." Louise said looking at Natalie.
Natalie put her arms around Louise's shoulders, "That's the spirit. A true prankster never thinks of the consequences, but of the rewards."
Louise suddenly took a piece of parchment out of her pocket and showed it to Natalie," This looks great, we will have to stock up at Fred and George's shop." Hannah tried to look at the list, but Natalie grabbed it and gave it back to Louise.
"Not in front of the newbie, rule one: never show any incriminating evidence to anyone. They might betray you, anyway Hannah would only persuade you to not do it or she would tell the head of house. She was such a goody- goody; I can't tell you how many times I've wished for a fellow prankster as a best friend. I suppose you can't have everything can you?"
Then both girls read the list of the plan and began doing their evil maniacal laugh, Hannah thought only one thing: they are both insane.
"Oh Natalie there was an owl this morning that came for you, you have been entered into a competition: The most deranged person in Hogsmeade, first prize is a trip to St Mungo's; second prize is a t- shirt saying "the second most deranged person in Hogsmeade; and all I got was this stupid T-shirt," Louise barley containing her laughter and Hannah laughing so much she had to hold on to the nearest thing: which was the counter.
She collapsed against it and said," She has a collection of those prizes don't you Natalie?"
Natalie decided to ignore everything Hannah had said, the kindly thing to do will be to prank her. Maybe next time thought Natalie as she said," Dinner time already? Doesn't time fly when you're having fun? I'll do the sandwich run if you want?"
Hannah said:" Why don't we close the shop and go out for dinner? We could relax a bit ready for when the stampede arrive," Both girls agreed and Hannah waved her wand and 3 handbags came zooming in, each going to their rightful owners.
Natalie and Hannah both cast locking charms on the door, and then they locked arms with Louise and headed in the direction of the Three Broomsticks
Natalie mentioned something about the Weasley's joke shop, Hannah's face darkened as she wondered what Natalie was up to. Noticing Hannah's face going all "What's she up to?" Natalie reassured Hannah, "Don't worry Hannah it's for the Snape Prank, no need to get jittery."
Grinning madly Hannah said "But with you there's nothing to say you won't prank me with these "supplies", I have known you for years Natalie." Walking in step with Hannah, Natalie put her arm around her best friends shoulder. "Aw Hannah I'd never prank my friends ever, even if they do deserve it sometimes."
Nodding but mentally disagreeing with her, Hannah knew that Natalie would never promise not to prank anyone. She loves pranking people, she took an oath apparently so needs must. She did notice that Louise and Natalie were walking a few steps in front of her, so she moved back hoping to listen in to their conversation.
"She is totally paranoid though, thinking that all I do is prank people," Natalie said looking distressed with her hand on her head dramatically.
Louise laughed" Yeah but with you she has every reason to be worried: you're known as the famous prankster of Hogwarts for heaven sake, she is totally within reason to panic as you're reputation speaks for its self."
Louise had stopped in the middle of the path for a moment; Natalie looking dumb struck back at her, and Hannah running to catch up with them. I didn't realise they walked that fast, Hannah thought stopping at the sight of Louise blocking the path.
Hannah just looked puzzled at Natalie, Natalie just shrugged, until she noticed a boy come into view, he was a brunette, tall and handsome. He was talking to another boy in front of the entrance to the Weasleys joke shop.
Natalie decided drastic times called for drastic measures. She had decided to wave her hands in front of Louise's face, hoping that will get her out of this. "What are you girls like? Can't even see a gorgeous man; without standing there staring and acting like idiots."
Louise suddenly came to herself and noticed the other two staring at her like she had something on her face, putting her hands up to her face anyway checking just in case," What are you doing Natalie?" She asked while watching every move the cute boy made.
Natalie said" Oh nothing just making a mental note never to take you out in public again, because obviously in the presence of a good looking man. You lose the plot." Wagging her finger at Louise she then said," By the way, who is the underage hottie?"
Louise's face went bright red she looked at Hannah as if hoping that doing so would convince her to lay off the subject, it failed anyway as Hannah was slightly interested herself.
"Fine then I'll find out myself," And no sooner had she said those dreaded words had she ran over to where the group of boys were, Hannah and Louise looked at each other. They both thought the same thing: this is going to lead to trouble.
Natalie then ran back to the other two grinning madly, "The tall and handsome boy that you were ogling, seems to know who you are. He also wants to know why you haven't been writing to him over the summer, he also said he has been meaning to write to you and ask you out. He wants you to meet him later on." Louise leapt in to the air and started doing a funny victory dance.
Natalie was joining in too; she stopped suddenly and said," Stop that if he sees you doing that he's going to regret asking you out." Louise continued doing the dance," Nah he wouldn't. We are friends, best friends; I have fancied him since first year."
The girls went into the Weasleys joke shop; Natalie had suddenly rushed off desperate to buy her merchandise obviously. But Hannah was pleased that Louise finally has a date with her friend, Louise suddenly said to Hannah. "That was quite embarrassing though, to have Natalie storming over to him and saying the things she said. Oh my god what did she say to him?" Louise started coming over all faint, the shop assistant came over and asked if she wanted a glass of water. "Yeah" The shop assistant waved their wand and out the water poured in to a glass.
"Thank you," Louise said and gulped the water down, she then handed the glass back to the shop assistant.
Natalie came over clutching her merchandise close to her and smiling at the other girls; she then noticed Louise drinking a glass of water looking terribly flushed "Is she alright? When I left her she was doing her victory dance and now she looks like she's going to faint."
"Yeah she isn't very happy about the way you handled that by the way. You embarrassed the poor girl." Hannah said as Louise nodded in agreement.
"Well to be honest staring at the poor boy; wouldn't get her anywhere so I talked to him and told him that she fancied him. She should be thanking me really." Louise, Hannah noticed that she would be making an important speech.
"Natalie I am grateful and everything but I could have totally handled it," Natalie on the other hand was giggling to herself quietly," Handled it! Thanks to me you have a date tonight with the handsome guy, if it had been up to you; you would have been staring at him all day."
Louise shook her head," I would have talked to him eventually. "Blushing slightly Natalie and Hannah took pity on their friend, as they each knew what it was like to feel like to have a crush on someone.
"Besides," Natalie continued. "I am known as the love doctor, even though I am only qualified in matters of mischief. I happen to brilliant at matters of the heart," Natalie said with a smug look on her face. Louise turned and asked Natalie a question about something.
Natalie looked at Hannah desperately as though willing her to believe this total lie, Hannah instead snorted and said," Natalie is to matters of the heart like what Gilderoy Lockhart is to Defence against the Dark Arts. Useless," Natalie tapped Hannah playfully on the arm. Louise looked worried about her date with gorgeous Ravenclaw Ross.
Natalie pouted and said, "Hang on! I did set up that one couple. What were there names? Anyway it was a successful set up." She punched the air and grinned at the doubters. "Okay I'll give you that one, so you have one successful match under your pretty little belt." Hannah teased.
In all that time they had left the joke shop and finally got to the Three Broomsticks, Natalie and Louise had elected to find a table as the popular bar looked to be quite busy today, "I'll get the drinks then," Making her way over to the busy bar area, she then recognised her friend- Susan Bones fellow Hufflepuffer. "Susan." She shouted until she actually heard her and came walking over, the friends hugged.
"Hannah! what are you drinking girl?" Susan said as she waved at the barman to get his attention. Hannah relayed the drinks to Susan and they chatted a while, waiting for their drinks to arrive. "I'm with Natalie and my co-worker Louise; do you want to join us?"
"Yeah, just here on my lunch break it will be good to see Natalie again, how are you all?" She said as she passed the requested drinks over to Hannah, "Well you know what Natalie's like always the prankster. How are you?"
"Really. Really, well. I'm finally with Justin though. It took us long enough didn't it?" Hannah nodded as they both wended their way to where Natalie and Louise had found them a table.
Natalie got up and made a grand gesture of welcome which onlookers snickered at and said, "Susan how the devil are you?" Susan looked at Hannah and Hannah just shook her head. "Oh I'm fine, how about you?" She said as she sat down between Hannah and Natalie.
"How rude of me, Louise, this is Susan. She was in the same year as Natalie and I and a fellow Hufflepuff," They shook hands and said hello to each other. "Is it true that Ernie is a teacher at Hogwarts?" Hannah nodded and blushed bright red, Susan looked at Natalie.
"Did you know that there has been an Ernie sighting, today in fact?" Natalie sat there grinning while an obviously embarrassed Hannah sat there quietly.
"Yeah she wrote to me and told me, so any further on?" Natalie snorted and said," Those two. Are you kidding me, though they do have a date tonight? Don't you Hannah?" Hannah seemed to have lost the power of speech and just nodded.
Hannah seemed to be just quietly gazing at her drink, listening to the conversation. She didn't know why they were making such a big deal; it was one date it might not even go that well. Susan noticing how quiet Hannah was said "Are you alright?" Hannah got up from her seat and said:"Does anyone want another drink?" They all shook their heads so Hannah wondered off to the bar to get another drink.
Clutching her drink she sat down by Susan and they continued their conversation, topics included what everyone did after Hogwarts and who was dating who," Did you know that Neville is dating Luna Lovegood, Seamus and Lavender are together as well." Oh this is all so much more interesting than world news and current affairs: everyone else's dating life. Well who cares?
Putting her drink down on the table, she was surprised to then see a puff of smoke and a waiter suddenly appeared at the table waiting to take their order.
"When the waiters' Apparate like that it scares the life out of me." Hannah said turning to talk to Natalie.
Natalie looked at Hannah with a smile on her face and says," That's because of your nervous disposition, me however, love it especially if he is cute." The waiter was waiting patiently by Hannah, grabbing his pad out of his pocket.
Realising they hadn't decided what they wanted to eat yet; they each grabbed a menu and quickly placed their order.
Natalie decided to take a chance and just before the waiter had fully Apparated away, she pinched his backside," Natalie calm down girl, we can't take you anywhere can we?" Hannah and Susan shook their heads giving each other a "She hasn't changed a bit look" While Louise was laughing along and gossiping with Natalie.
Natalie on the other hand was giving Hannah and Susan a look that could be described as "Little miss sweet and innocent," on anyone other than Natalie that might have worked. But Hannah and Susan knew better, Natalie was winking at them and said." What? the waiter was cute, and at least then you get better service."
"Oh no Natalie, what you have done is probably put the poor man off serving our table at all," Hannah said pretending to glare at Natalie. Natalie has been on the end of that glare too many times for it to actually work.
"How's work going Susan?" Hannah asked as she began sipping her drink.
"Fine It's all good, how about the book shop?"
"Good. We have Gilderoy Lockhart coming later on for a book signing. So it will be really crowded," Then Hannah noticed another waiter just Apparated at the table with some plates, obviously what the girls ordered.
The waiter that Natalie had crudely pinched winked at Natalie and she sighed like a girly girl, while grinning at the other girls. They graciously accepted their plates and tucked into their food.
Before the cute waiter Apparated he asked," Would you like anymore drinks for this table." He wrote the orders down and then Apparated.
"Well you're in there Natalie." Susan grinned and Natalie gently curtseyed with the fork still in her mouth, "As I said to Hannah. The only way is to be direct: If you want something, take it. And I wanted to pinch his backside," The girls were laughing and whooping. Natalie was basking in the glory. The waiter arrived back with the drinks and they floated to their rightful owners.
After about half an hour the plates were empty and Susan got up to use the toilet, the other girls were discussing the meal. The waiter came back and asked if they would like pudding," No." Said Natalie, batting her eye lashes at the hunky waiter. "But I will have your name and number." Hannah looked at Louise and shook their heads.
The waiter wrote on the pad and winked at Natalie, he collected the plates." Could you bring us the bill please?" Nodding then he Apparated away, Susan then chose that moment to come back to the table.
"Did you get his name and number?" Susan inquired; while draining the last dregs of her drink.
Unfurling the piece of paper the cute waiter had written his details on, Natalie then cleared her throat:
"Nick Platt," Natalie read. "He lives in Muggle London though," Hannah noticed as she read over Natalie's shoulder.
"No problem. I'm going to give him a big tip though" Natalie said as she high fived Susan.
She then put the piece of paper in a safe place in her bag and Hannah said," So you have managed to capture another poor unfortunate man in your web of love."
"Well I can't help it if I've got natural magnetism." Said Natalie as she began smoothing her skirt down," Anyway before we leave I'm going to say goodbye to the nice waiter." Before she had the chance to leave Louise said:
"Here is our share of the bill. So then you have an excuse to talk to him again," Said Louise; as she gave her the money.
"Louise you mad person. I never needed an excuse to talk to a man before, have I Hannah?" Natalie asked, looking as if the mere suggestion would question her whole way of life.
"No she hasn't, I remember the one time when we went out to a Muggle dance club. She went up to a random man that she liked and started kissing him in the middle of the dance floor."
Susan had nodded and replied," Ah yes a story I still laugh about to myself, I try not to do it in public as people will think I'm deranged, me and Hannah just stood at the bar giggling at Natalie." Natalie however, had started grinning.
"What a beautiful end to a great night out, eh girls, anyway I'm changing my ways. I'm going to be all shy and retiring." Natalie exclaimed throwing her hands in the air to signal the point
Susan, Louise and Hannah just looked at each other then started to laugh, just managing complete words Hannah said," You shy and retiring. That's like saying the world is flat, it just doesn't make sense."
Susan looked around at her friends and thought to herself how glad she was to have come to the Three Broomsticks pub for lunch.
"Look guys I have to go otherwise I'll be late back and the boss will kill me, Hannah and Natalie it's been great seeing you again. Louise it's been great meeting you, Nat and Hannah look out for my owl okay girls night soon." Susan said as she began walking towards the door.
"We better start making tracks you two or we will miss the book signing," Hannah worried.
"No we won't there won't be a book signing until we get there, we have to let them in you daft cow," Natalie remarked as she wondered to the bar to pay the bill.
Louise and Hannah got their handbags and Natalie's too, "We will be by the door okay Natalie." Hannah called after her as they walked to the door to wait for Natalie.
"So did you kiss good-bye then?" Louise said noticing Natalie striding towards them and she noticed Natalie's unusually red face. Hannah pondered this as Natalie doesn't embarrass easily, deciding to wind her up they began making kissing faces as they were walking back to the shop.
"Very funny you two, very mature. I'm surprised at you Hannah. You actually laughed, the world must be about to end." Hannah whacked Natalie with her handbag and then they finally got back to their shop.
Natalie and Hannah did the relevant spells in order to unlock the door; Louise took the bags off the girls and put them in the storage area.
Hannah bought in the table and filled it with Gilderoy's latest offering. She also put out plenty of seats, moved the card board cut out to the correct place. She noticed the cut out kept winking at her and flourishing his wand, thinking she could be imagining it she went to get some tea made.
"The card board cut winked at me, and it keeps flourishing its wand."Hannah said.
"What do you expect this is Gilderoy Lockhart we are talking about; I would be shocked if it didn't." Natalie said.
"Girls want a cup of tea before his royal highness comes"? Both girls nodding Hannah flourished her wand and did the relevant spell. The kettle was boiling nicely. She then filled the cups with sugar and began making the tea the way the girls liked it.
Natalie noticed the mugs come back before she noticed Hannah and she grabbed one and said:"Thanks Hannah you're a star," Hannah then put her tea behind the counter.
The bell under the door rang which signalled the arrival of a strange looking man," Pete Holloway, from the Daily Prophet.", I'm here for the Gilderoy Lockhart book signing. Where do you want me?"
"By the table if you don't mind, I'm Hannah. The other two are Natalie and Louise. Before we get started would you like a cup of tea?" Hannah asked politely. Pete nodded and Hannah waved her wand at the cupboard and a cup came out and she got the kettle to boil.
Hannah was wondering how long all this would take as she was expected to meet Ernie after we closed the shop, the clicking of the kettle meant the water had just boiled, so Hannah went to finish making the tea.
Natalie however, was making use of her time flirting with the man from the Daily Prophet; she could hear her giggling prettily. Is it strictly normal that I could tell when my friend is laughing for real or when she is using her "flirty" giggle? Thought Hannah shaking her head, I'm going insane.
"Oh Pete you are funny," Hannah heard as she rolled her eyes. God what that poor man must be thinking, or what he must be subjected to right here in this little bookshop. Must go and rescue nice man from the clutches of mental Natalie.
"Tea is up, there you go Pete, and I hope Natalie hasn't been making a nuisance of herself?"
"Why do you always think I'm making a menace of myself? I was just being friendly," Natalie said sulkily.
"There's being friendly and then there's being a nuisance. Which may I point out is nine times out of ten what you are doing." Hannah replied.
Pete turned to thank Hannah for bringing him the tea, Hannah saw the look on the poor man's face it was a: "Thank you for rescuing me from this mad and frankly nosy woman."
Hannah gave him a "You're welcome," look and sat down behind the counter, Natalie walked over to Hannah with a cheeky look on her face.
"Trying to suck up to the journalist," Natalie asked waging her finger at her but grinning wickedly. Looking back and waving at him, she turned to Hannah and said: "He is really cute though."
"Who's really cute?" Louise shouted loudly, the people who were waiting for the signing to start and the man himself; looked at Hannah and she blushed," Louise could you say that any louder? I don't think they heard you In Madame Puddifoots tea room." Louise rolled her eyes and said: "Sorry, who's really cute?" Hannah noticed she did say it in a quieter tone.
"Natalie was ogling the photographer from the Daily Prophet, but what's new there." The bell rang again and then there was a stampede of women and Hannah noticed looking shocked some men in that crowd. They must be on the hunt for that book for their wives or girlfriends.
Hannah heard a few women sigh, and fan themselves with their books. And then she heard clapping, "Hello my dear devoted fans, it's me; Five times winner of Witch Weekly's most charming smile award and, two times winner of the Quill and Parchment award for best fictional character. Gilderoy Lockhart. Welcome to my book signing."
"Does he have to say that every time he arrives in places? He should hire a person to say it all before he goes in to the room, it would save his voice and time." Hannah said as Natalie and Louise were giggling along
Hannah noticed the crowd trying to get as close to him as possible, she then went over to Gilderoy to show him where to sit," Over here Gilderoy. This table is for you at the front." Nodding and trying to weave their way to the front was as hard as Hannah thought it would be.
The other two were handing books out to the women as fast as possible, while all the time re stocking the shelves. It's going to be a busy afternoon, Hannah thought, "Now after the book signing there will be a Q&A session, you can ask him any questions you might have."
There were women everywhere screaming, some had even made homemade banners- with many pictures of Gilderoy posing and grinning, all saying the same thing: I Love Gilderoy. The men that had accompanied some of the women were gathered uncomfortably in the Quidditch section; they were all muttering to each other.
The women had started to queue up, some being polite and helpful; but others were being downright rude. Pushing some up against the book shelves, Hannah saw this." Now be careful of the book cases, we don't want them to fall on you." The women that had heard were giving Hannah a disgusted look, as though a young person shouldn't be telling middle aged women what to do.
Hannah just looked at them muttering to herself, fine I hope they do fall on you. The other girls had gone behind the counter to take the money, Hannah decided to go and help. She noticed that the photographer was clicking away, trying to get as many picture as necessary.
"Busy isn't it?" Louise remarked, Hannah nodded. Natalie however, said" Look at the great buffoon, flinging his hair around like he is doing a shampoo advert." Louise was giggling madly, Hannah was of course confused. Being a pure blood does that to you, especially if you have Muggle and half blood friends.
"He probably would consider doing it if he was offered; remember one of his ambitions was to create his own line of hair care products." Hannah grinned and Natalie was downright laughing manically, tears running down her face.
A woman came over and started to collect a book from the shelf, hearing the girls giggling she said:" Please don't laugh at one of the most important writers of our time. Not to mention him being devilishly handsome," She cooed all the time nudging Hannah and grinning.
"Yeah if you like that sort of thing, besides he's as about as handsome as Hagrid," The other two really laughing now tears running down their faces and barely breathing.
Over an hour later the book signing was finally complete, some women requested to have their photos taken with Gilderoy; others wanted to have numerous books signed claiming to have lots of presents to buy. Hannah guessed that she wanted more copies for herself. More money for us I suppose, Hannah thought.
Natalie, Louise and Hannah all looked at each other, for the time had come for Gilderoy to answer the fans questions." Let's hope the questions are sensible, though looking at this lot I wouldn't count on it." Natalie said while Louise and Hannah laughed appreciatively.
Gilderoy stood up and came in front of the table, Hannah meanwhile waved her wand and the table swished in the back room storage area. Gilderoy cleared his throat and said: "Now I will be taking some questions, who would like to go first? Don't be shy ladies."
A nervous looking woman right at the front clutching her copy of Gilderoy's book cleared her throat and said:" Was there a specific person you based your leading man on?" Gilderoy winked and grinned doffing his cap to the lady who had asked the question.
"Well ladies there was some speculation on who the leading man was based on-," Really thought Hannah that must have been a slow day news wise if that's all the papers were reporting on.
"- He is a bit of late and great Dumbledore, power wise. Now I don't you ladies running away with the idea I'm not as powerful as the great man. Because I am," he looked at the nearest woman and winked at her. She promptly fainted; Hannah went over to her and offered her a glass of water.
"I'm fine," she exclaimed knocking the water out of Hannah's hand. That woman needs a swift kick, and I would only be happy to do it. Thought Hannah, Gilderoy was obviously continuing regardless of any interruption
"But looks wise, he is a bit of a watered down version of me. And for that absolutely brilliant question, the fair lady gets a signed photo." The lady in question looked disbelieving at him, he however; nodded. She then wended her way over to him to get her signed photograph; she didn't expect to get her photograph taken with the man in question.
He pulled her over, she was fussing with her hair, and then she posed. Gilderoy's hand on her back, Hannah could see the woman was shaking. She was itching to get back to her friends to rub their faces in it.
The ladies all sighed and fanned themselves, clutching the ladies standing next to them, Natalie decided that she should open her mouth to spout some wisdom, Insanity more like Hannah thought wickedly.
Natalie looked at the scene unfold, "Bloody hell, a signed photo with a famous author and it seems to make them go over the edge." Louise and Hannah laughed, finally the last question had been asked. It was as Natalie had feared, the dreaded "Will you marry me?" Question, Gilderoy politely declined as he said he was dating another fellow writer, grinned at the women.
Some hearing that piece of information decided to seek revenge, "Did you hear that woman threatening his "supposed," girlfriend with the Cruciatus curse?" Natalie asked pointing at the mousy haired woman leading the pack of jealous women.
"They need to get a grip for goodness sake, they really should know better," Hannah said as she finally led the cooing women out of the shop.
The cameraman came over sheepishly and asked, "Gilderoy would like a photo with you three girls, if you wouldn't mind?" Hannah asked for about half an hour, so she could ask what the other's thought and so they could spruce themselves up for the camera. "Ok then I'll go and tell him, see you in a bit." He went over to him relaying the information back; he looked over and grinned at her.
Natalie came over to Hannah after putting the books back on the shelf, nudging her she said," What did the cute photographer want?"
Hannah replied," He said that apparently Gilderoy wants his picture taken with us." Natalie choked and said," Hasn't he had enough pictures taken of himself today? Is he trying to break a new world record?" Laughing they agreed and dragged Louise over.
Louise was wandering what all the fuss was about, when Hannah turned her around. She saw Gilderoy checking his hair in the hovering mirror, and then it dawned on her," He wants us to have our photo taken with him?" Looking at each other and rolling their eyes Natalie came out with" Clever isn't she? She will do well on her O.W.L.S. If the topic was stating the bloody obvious."
"Ah I am ready now girls so if you could just stand by me. Not in front of the face," He replied cheekily as Louise accidently stood in the cameras view of Gilderoy. "Must not forget a shot with the book eh," He said as he put his arm around Natalie's shoulder.
The girls and Gilderoy all grinned for the camera, but before the man clicked his camera, Gilderoy grabbed Hannah dipped her like a romantic screen hero would; and kissed her, the cameraman grinned behind his camera and took that exact picture.
Louise and Natalie went behind the counter, just as Gilderoy picked Hannah back up again and dragged the camera man behind him as he left the shop.
She saw Louise and Natalie giggling and dipping each other as though they were about to kiss. "Stop it right now," Hannah warned.
"Well who got dipped and kissed by the winner of Witch Weekly's most charming smile award, then?" Natalie asked Hannah while nudging Louise, Hannah blushed.
"Don't go getting any ideas, you two it was all a publicity stunt." Hannah said as the other two were making kissing noises at her.
"When is the wedding? Oh I bet it would be a fabulous wedding, how can it not be?" Louise said as they waved their wands and out popped a rainfall of confetti.
Natalie grinned and remarked nudging Louise," Imagine the children." Louise and Natalie then started dancing around Hannah while the confetti continued to fall.
"Oh great that's another mess that's got to be cleaned up, go on you two," seeing their faces. Too bad they acted like children sometimes, with Louise though it's expected. But with Natalie, Hannah shuddered.
Half an hour later the shop was as clean as a whistle. Hannah went into the back room to retrieve their handbags," Well I've got to go now girls. Can't keep Ernie waiting."
Natalie shook her head and nudged Louise, "Eager isn't she? by the way I want a full report of all that happens on said date." Louise looked sad, she didn't want to miss out on any gossip but she was leaving for Hogwarts tommorrow.
" All the good gossip happens and I miss it." Louise said angirily, turning the sign on the door to "Closed" and she followed the girls outside.
Natalie and Hannah both got their wands out and proceeded to cast the relevant spells to lock the front door, Hannah turned and put her arm around Louise.
"Don't worry babe, I'll send you owl updates. Though to be perfectly honest there won't be anything worth reporting, as it's not a date." Natalie and Louise then went to Maddame Puddifoots Tea rooms for a quick cup of tea.
Hannah followed reluctantly. When they got there Hannah was explaining that she couldn't stay long as she had to meet Ernie. Natalie guided Hannah to the nearest table while Louise ordered the tea.
Sitting down besides Hannah, Natalie looked at Hannah then said" Hannah we need to go through a plan of action, hence the tea." Hannah just looked at Natalie; confusion obviously written all over her face.
"Plan of action?" Hannah remarked playing with the sugar bowl on the table.
"Yes you don't want to just walk in there unprepared do you?" Natalie looked at Hannah as though she was mad.
Sighing obviously annoyed at having to explain to poor, misguided Hannah," Well I will give you a guide for you to follow, things to say and do. And don't get drunk is the first order of the guide."
Hannah looked at Natalie and said in her most angelic voice," I wouldn't get drunk." Natalie looked back disbelieving as Louise came back with a tray of drinks and three cakes.
"Louise you are an angel, ooooooh cheesecake how did you guess?" Natalie gushed as she took her tea and cake off the tray, Hannah and Louise followed suit, then Louise took the tray back to the counter.
Louise took her place back at the table," Natalie your love of cheesecake is frankly disturbing." Hannah sat there grinning spooning her Victoria sponge into her mouth as daintily as possible.
"I remember at school her mum used to send her packages with cheesecake in them- every week." Natalie, nodding eagerly; eating her cheesecake happily.
"Yeah she used to freeze them so they wouldn't de-frost. I don't know how I didn't put on lots of weight at school, I suppose the Quidditch helped." Hannah shook her head.
"Natalie you were a Beater, all you had to do was slug a bat about the entire time. It's hardly a work out."
Natalie turned to Hannah and remarked," Those bats were heavy." Looking seriously at Hannah and Louise, she spoke." Anyway enough talking rubbish we have to advise Hannah, about her date with Ernie."
They talked for two hours going through the in's and out's and the do's and don'ts,( Natalie kept raving on about something called a remote controlled device, "We could listen in and tell you where you are going wrong.")
Hannah thought that idea was stupid, she said goodbye to the others, and that she would see Natalie tommorow. Hannah was exhausted by the time she eventually got back to her flat, she unlocked the door and went thorugh it she went into the sitting room to find her dad's owl buzzing about like it's had a lot of energy drinks.
Hannah ran around the room trying to grab this mad owl, hearing noises Hannah's dog Jack started whining. She finally got the excitable owl down, she then retrieved the letter tied to it's leg. The owl started fluttering aound, and hooting it's joy at being free again.
Hannah read the letter, it was the same customery letter she got from her dad, the usual stuff. Hannah wrote a quick reply and got the owl down. She then sent the bird back to her dad.
Hannah then decided she should let the dog out, walking to the dogs area she could hear him whining even louder. She openend the door and out he came skidding about like he was walking on ice. Running over to her he licked her hand, wagging his tail and carrying his lead.
Hannah looked at her dog, his tail wagging happily, his eyes giving her "the look", I must be mad knowing what that look is on a dog. Taking the lead out of the dog's mouth she stroked him and said," So it looks like we are going for a walk then."
Trying to put the lead on Jack was proving difficult, "keep still you mad dog," but the dog kept trying to walk to the front door. She couldn't hold him still. After the fourth try he was finally ready, she opened the door and off they went. Not before she did the locking spell.
After two hours of mischevious behavour (from the dog) they had finally got back to her flat, she opened the door and Jack trotted merrily in. Hannah pulled him to her, looked at him while she was trying to distract him enough so she could take his lead off.
"Jack! What have I told you about trying to bark at big dogs? They will bite you and tear at you, you wally. Go and have a drink, go on in there." Jack walked away with his tail between his legs, as though she had shouted at him. He turned around as she shut the door to be treated to Jack's puppy dog eyes.
Hannah sighed and shut the door, damn that dog had a way of making her forget any bad things he's done, just by giving her that puppy dog look. She still had to get her self ready for meeting Ernie, she ran upstairs and into her room.
She unloaded her wardrobe and put the contents on to her bed and then organised them into "Work," "Casual" and "Night" Looking at the evening wear, she realised she had nothing she could wear.
Damn it all, she thought. Then she noticed tucked away discreetly behind the contents of her wardrobe was a pale blue skirt. Perfect then she found a white camisole top, with some white flip flops. Casual, she didn't want to seem like she was bothered. She was meeting Ernie for chat, to catch up.
Hannah decided to have a shower. Once she was out it was deciding what perfume to wear; something summery would be good. She selected one and used it. Fetching the clothes she had selected to wear she put them on and sat near her mirror, "Looking good today Hannah, big date?" blushing she put on some make up - the minimum look was her favorite, she wanted to look fresh not over done.
Half an hour later she was outside her door locking up when she heard a whisling sound, her neighbour came over - James Edge, he was very good looking. "Hannah where are you off to on this lovely night?" Blushing slightly she explained she was meeting a friend.
"Oh a friend is it?" He chuckled seeing Hannah blush, "Oh how cruel fate is. Why I was just about to see if you would like to accompany me to dinner, but that isn't to be." He sighed dramaticaly, he winked at Hannah and waved before walking away.
Hannah felt light headed, what was going on with her? She fancied Ernie not him, shaking her head she Apparated into Hogsmeade.
She made her way to the Three Broomsticks pub, she went inside and noticed that it was busy. There were crowds near the bar and lots of people sitting down, suddenly she heard someone shouting her name," Hannah, Hannah. Over here, I've got us a table." She followed the voice. It was Ernie calling her.
She sat down at the table, she hadn't noticed a second person there. But there was another glass as well as Ernie's, by the time that had registered Ernie had gone to get another round of drinks.
"Hello Ernie mentioned we would have a guest, I'm Jasmine - Ernie's -
Hannah was talking to herself chanting " Not girlfriend," about a million times.
- Girlfriend, and you must be Hannah?" She asked holding her hand out as though she was expecting Hannah to shake it. Hannah wanted to get out and run as fast as her legs would carry her. But she couldn't she had to stay and see it through.
Ernie had finally came with drinks, she took hers off the tray, Jasmine was smiling at her polietly. Hannah swallowed harshly, I want to hit her. Physically cause her pain, like the Muggle's do. God why did I agree to come, Hannah thought. I could be watching paint dry, rather than listening to Ernie gushing about his "Grilfriend".
Hannah shuddered at the thought, wait they are talking to me. Must feign interest Hannah thought gloomily, just get throught this and you can go home and wallow in self pity.
Plastering an obviously fake smile on her face she turned to Jasmine and said: "So what do you do for a living?" She grinned sickengly at Ernie and said," We met at Hogwarts, I don't know if you are aware but Ernie is the Herbology teacher. And I am the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."
Oh how very original, both meet as teachers, Hannah felt sick. She turned to the "Bitch," and Ernie and said;" I'm going to the bar, want any more drinks?" She breathed a sigh of relief when they declined, she decided to get one for herself though.
Once there she decided to get a bottle of wine. Start as you mean to go on, Hannah thought. Maybe this will lessen the pain a bit, she probably thought it wouldn't but did it anyway. Paying for her bottle of wine, she headed back to Ernie. She did notice that Jasmine had put her mouth on Ernie's neck and he was grinning and stroking her back.
Coughing slightly to signal her arrival( not that they noticed.) they coninued to act like the world worst people to spend a pleasent evening with, pouring her wine in to the glass she instead decided to people watch, she loved doing that just watching the world go by. She heared a snippet of the convesation from the next table.
" So I caught him with my sister, the pig I told him I never wanted to see him again. What's wrong with me? Am I so repulsive that men can't help but look to my family members? She's a loser, I'll get off with her sister instead," The woman that was talking started sobbing really loudly.
Hannah on hearing this started to get nearer to the edge of the chair so she could listen, she fell of the side in her desperation to hear the rest of the story, she could hear kissing in the background. It was those two, grabbing her wine she poured herself another drink.
Realizing she had already drunk half a bottle of wine she was starting to feel woozy, she decided to stay at the table for a bit as she didn't want to get up and fall over.
"Ernie is she alright? She looks slightly drunk," Jasmine said, Hannah was starting to resent her being concerned. She was obviously faking concern, so she could look like the angel infront of Ernie and I could like the destructive drunkard.
Ernie looked over at Hannah and grinned," What are you like?" Hannah tried to sit at the table as lady like as she could. Hannah picked up the wine and took a sip. This time from the bottle, now she had drunk all the wine from the bottle, she decided to get another drink.
Slurring her words she asked the others if they want a drink, she meandered her way over to the bar, occasionaly bumping into some random men," Hello there, would you like a drink?" Hannah nodded and followed the nice man, he gave her the drink and asked what her name was.
"Hannah, how about you," she slurred unattractively. He looked at her and grinned, completely drunk.
"Hello I'm Paul Thomas, nice to meet you," She shook his hand( tried to- hand to eye co- ordination is not very good when the person is drunk. So I hear) Hannah started swaying slightly.
"We should dance you know, I need to dance. I was born to dance," Hannah stated and started to move, Paul trying to follow. Hannah sarted doing some complicated moves, which involved spinning around on her back with her arms waving madly in the air.
Ernie noticed a crowd gathering in the middle of the pub, he went over to investigate and noticed Hannah on the floor with her arms and legs in the air; as a bloke started trying to spin her around. The other men and some women were dancing and clapping.
Annie the barmaid was looking dissaprovingly on as the noise of the crowd grew louder. Hannah got up to a crowd of people whooping and cheering, she smoothed her skirt down and noticed Ernie and started blushing.
Ernie grabbed her arm and said," Hannah are you alright? You are drunk and you seem upset about something, talk to me I'm your best friend." Hannah started giggling really loudly and shouted to the room at large, "Drinks are on me," the crowd clapped and chanted Hannah's name.
Hannah turned back to Ernie and said," Ernie I am fine, what's it to you what I am doing it is none of your concern. I'm having fun, go back to your grilfriend and leave me alone." She pushed him angrily away as Annie called to Hannah about settling the tab.
Ernie went over to Jasmine. She asked how it went, "Jas there is no reasoning with Hannah when she is like this. Stubborn is what she is." Shaking his head, he noticed the crowd around Hannah got still bigger. Hannah getting still more drunk, she started dancing on the tables, with her friends.
Hannah heared the crash as her friends and herself wobbled slightly as the table collapsed and the glasses ontop of it smashed, grinning like a maniac; she turned to friend" It was a shame I was just starting to enjoy that," Then she passed out on the broken and legless table.
Annie came over seeing Hannah passed out on the table, she almost ran over to Ernie exclaming" Get Hannah out of here she is causing mayhem," Ernie nodded and ran over to where she was.
He noticed that she was not passed out on the broken table anymore, she had disapeared. Blimey where had she got to Ernie thought.
Hannah had gone behind the bar, she had also helped herself to some drinks and started to throw bottles to her friends. They caught them and started whooping and cherring. Hannah looking decidedly pleased with herself, then started to climb on to the bar.
Steadying herself she was now standing on the bar, she felt happier than she had in a while, and all the jealousy about Ernie and his "bitch," faded away. She was that singer, what was her name begins with a C. Oh who cares, she started dancing, people in the bar were stopping entire conversations to look at this crazy girl standing on the bar.
"Hello there my beautiful fans and admirers," She cooed blowing kisses to random people, then she started taking her clothes off to some tune that someone was singing.
Ernie had noticed an even bigger crowd growing near the bar area, wonder what's going on; Ernie thought excusing himself from his girlfriend. He went over to find out what all the noise was.
Hannah was really really enjoying herself she felft alive and pleasure was pulsing all over her body, but then she felt dizzy and she fell slightly, trying to get back up to finish her dance was proving difficult.
Hannah had fell off the bar and into the crowd, Ernie had noticed Hannah fall and went over to her. He picked her up and took her over to where Jasmine was.
"Jas I'm going to take Hannah to her friends house ok I'll see you tommorrow," she looked liike she was going to argue but Ernie butted in,"I have to she is my friend and I can't let her wander the streets in the state that she's in."
Jasmine nodded slightly cursing Hannah and Ernie, she then kissed Ernie on the cheek and made her way to the door. Ernie lifted Hannah higher so that he could hold onto her better and went to the door, Annie came over saw Hannah in Ernie's arms and said. "She is lucky your here to help her. See you later"
Once outside he put her upright and tried to get her attention, she swayed slightly and grinned at him, shaking his head he held her hand and apparated.
Appearing outside Natalie's flat he knocked the door, please be in; he asked slightly praying to god that someone was. He noticed lights on in the hallway and then the door opened to a half asleep Natalie.
Wiping the sleep from her eyes she noticed Ernie at the door with a slightly funny looking Hannah, Natalie looked from Hannah to Ernie.
"What's she done now?" Asked Natalie, as she pulled Hannah away from Ernie and into the doorway. Hannah was swaying and doing high kicks.
"Well she met me and Jasmine at the Three Broomsticks sat down and got slightly drunk, I don't know what happened." Ernie said looking worriedly at Hannah as she started trying to get Natalie dancing with her.
Trying to fend of a drunk Hannah was harder than she thought possible, she looked at Ernie and shook her head; poor Hannah he has no idea that she fancies him, and now there is a Jasmine involved that can't have helped the situation.
" Thanks for bringing her back, do you want to come in for a cup of tea?" Natalie asked.
"No I'd better be getting back, Ive got be up in the morning. Hogwarts term starts tommorrow." Ernie walked away waving at Natalie as pulled Hannah inside and shut the door.
She tried to get Hannah into the sitting room and sit down, she had to force her to keep still,"Hannah stay there will you. I'm just getting you some pillows and blankets." she pulled her wand out and did the spell, they landed by the side of Hannah.
Natalie then got Hannah to lie down and she placed the pillows down and then tucked her in, she pulled heer wand out and then in came a bowl, some potion and a glass of water.
"Night Hannah you drunkard you, try and get some sleep and forget that prat Ernie and his silly cow of a grilfrined,"