Title:We Get There
Characters/pairings: Neal/Peter
Rating: M [ for later chapters]
Summary:Neal feels that Peter is not himself, when he finds out why he pushes Peter away & sends him on a self destruction journey but they will find each other again. (l suck at summery) plz R&R !
Disclaimer: White Collar is not mine if it as, it would be slash heaven!
A/N: This is my first attempt at Neal/Peter fic so l'm sorry if they seem a bit out of character .
this is SLASH so if slash is not your thing 1. you're crazy 2. really crazy 3. not good crazy, but just crazy

Beta: By the amazing cedricsowner I want to thank her so much for loving and editing my story, you make all my mistakes go away ;)

This story is written for my lovely Maryam who is my soul mate & this story was written as a motivation for her to study !

Chapter 1:

Neal couldn't but notice that Peter had started to behave weird in the past few weeks, he stayed longer than usual in the office , which he barely left, Neal suspected that sometimes he even sleeps there.
Neal sat across from Peter who looked really tired, black circles under his eyes; that just looked dead. The usual sparkle that Neal had learned to love was gone, it looked like someone had turned off the lights in Peter's eyes.
He couldn't but feel that Peter has been avoiding him in the last few weeks. Their normal flirting was gone - he didn't invite him to lunch anymore, as if he was tired of his company. This made Neal try even harder, but it only seemed to push Peter even further away.
Peter closed the meeting and just collapsed into his chair, closing his eyes and not moving. Neal waited until everyone had left the room, then he moved to the chair next to Peter and placed his hand on Peter's thigh. Peter's eyes flew open and he stared at Neal.

"Neal, what are you doing?"

"l could ask you the same thing."

Peter arched his eyebrow "Excuse me?"

Neal turned to Peter in his chair so he could face him. "You're not being yourself, you never leave the office, you're grumpy, you look like you haven't slept for days."

Peter turned away from Neal. He just looked at his hands but he didn't say a word in return.

"Peter, please talk to me", Neal begged, trying to catch Peters eyes. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Peter stood up without even making eye contact with Neal. He made his way to the door, but Neal was faster and blocked the door so Peter had no choice but to face Neal.
Neal expected some reaction from Peter, to throw him out of the way, yell at him or make some cynical remark, but Peter just stood there, with this dead look in his eyes.
Neal wanted to shake him until he got some sort of reaction from this 'Peter shell' that was standing in front of him. He placed his hands on Peter's shoulders and gave him his best smile, but Peter's gaze was still blank as before.

"Peter if you don't tell me I'll have no choice but to tell Elizabeth!", Neal tried to joke; maybe this would lighten his mood a bit.

Peter's eyes finally found Neal's and Neal was shocked to see the misty eyes looking back at him.

"Well and maybe on this occasion you could ask her why she left …"

He shook Neal's hands off and moved him out of his way. Neal was too shocked to protest. He just watched Peter leave, and even his back looked defeated.

0o0o0o0o

Neal couldn't understand. How could he have missed such an important piece of information about his partner? His friend?
He trusted Peter more than anyone in his life, more than he had ever trusted Kate or even Mozzie, he had barred his soul more than once to Peter and he couldn't but feel deceived.

Neal had never been the guy to gossip around the office, but the FBI was just like a gossip hive so it didn't take too long to find the information Peter wouldn't share with him.

Elizabeth had got a job offer in Washington, she had felt it was a once in a life time opportunity, and she had taken the offer.
She had expected Peter to come with her but Peter hadn't. So a few weeks ago she moved out, took Satchmo with her and left Peter with divorce papers.

Neal looked for Peter for the rest of the day but he was nowhere to be found, he didn't have anything to do at the office so Diana just sent him home.
As soon as he got home, he tried Peter's cell and home number, but no luck.

A knock on the door woke him up, he looked at the clock and it was 2:07 am; he didn't bother to dress and just opened the door in his sweatpants.

It was Peter or someone resembling him, his hair was wild, he was wearing his tie around the head and his eyes were glancing with drunkenness.

"l signed them" he mumbled. He couldn't stand anymore, he lost his balance and stumbled towards Neal who managed in the last second to catch him. He dragged Peter to the couch.

"Coffee. We need coffee", Neal stated, making his way to the kitchen

"Don't leave me, Neal, please don't leave me!" Peter cried. Neal's heart skipped a beat at this plea. Peter had always been the strong one. Seeing him like this was breaking Neal's heart.
He lowered himself next to Peter on the sofa. Peter leaned against him and Neal stroked his hair. They stayed like this for a while.

"You probably know everything by now don't' you?" He looked at Neal who in return nodded in agreement.

"Why didn't you tell me about Elizabeth?" Neal broke the silence again.

"Would that make any difference?" Peter moved away from Neal.

"YES, you're my friend, Peter, or so l like to believe." Peter's hair covered his eyes and Neal couldn't (or didn't want to) stop himself from reaching out and brushing the hair away. Peter looked right into his eyes. His heart was racing so fast from the look he gave him he had to break the connection before he did things he would regret forever.

"We aren't friends, Neal, you're a con man and I'm just your babysitter and when your 4 years are over, you'll leave me just like Elizabeth did, you'll go on adventures and forget all about me until l probably arrest you again … once a thief always a thief."

Neal tried to pretend the words Peter said didn't hurt him or had any other impact on him, but the words stung no matter if they were coming from a drunk man. "You know l wouldn't do that! l know you're hurting, but what happened with Elizabeth isn't my fault"

"Ahhh, but you see, it is."

"What?" Neal swallowed hard, looking shocked at Peter

"It's kinda obvious, don't you think? There's no White Collar unit in DC so there's nothing for you there."

Something in Neal's mind clicked and he moved himself farther away from Peter, who wore the saddest smile he had ever seen.

"And if l left you here it would be a one way ticket back to jail"

"Peter …"

"Yeah, so l had to choose between sending you back to jail or save my marriage."

"Peter, you didn't …"

"Ohhh, Neal, but l did, sad, isn't it ? That l preferred a thief, a liar, a con man over my wife…"

Neal embraced Peter. He wanted him to know that he would never hurt him, never let him down, never let him regret the decision he made, that he would make it worth every single second of his life.

Peter snuggled his head in the crook of Neal's neck. He hadn't felt the warmth of another human being since Elizabeth had left. Neal felt Peters lips on his neck. His heart stopped, he forgot how to breathe and tried to move away from Peter, but his grip was too tight. His hand stroked his bare back, he pushed Neal down and placed himself on top of him.

"Peter, please", Neal begged.

But Peter ignored the plea. His lips climbed up Neal's neck and explored his jaw line. He moved his hand away from underneath Neal and was gently going up his stomach. When his hand reached Neal's neck, Peter finally stopped.
Neal gasped for air. He realized he had been holding his breath the whole time. Peter's eyes looked straight at him, but he didn't see any lust there or desire, all he saw there was pain, drunk pain. He opened his mouth to tell Peter that they couldn't, that his heart was broken, that he didn't want to take advantage of him, but Peter misread Neal's intention and pressed his lips to Neal's. Peter tasted like heaven, better than Neal had ever imagined, his lips were so much tender and softer, he tasted like cheap beer and desperation. He couldn't lie to himself that he hadn't wanted this from him; well, he didn't even remember since when, it seemed he had wanted Peter since forever.
Peter's tongue claimed Neal's mouth, every last of Neal's defenses was about to crumble, but he held to the last shred of it and pushed Peter away.

"Peter, stop! Not like this!"

Peter looked hurt, as if he had just got slapped. He tried to move towards Neal to kiss him again, but Neal pushed him away and stood up, moving far away from the sofa. He didn't trust himself if Peter tried to kiss him again.

"I left my wife for you!"

"Peter, don't …" Neal turned away from Peter, not able to stand the look he was giving him.

"I thought that this is what you always wanted? To have me all to yourself? I got rid of my wife for you!"

"No, you didn't, she left you and I …" Neal hesitated "I … love you and I don't want to be your rebound, I deserve more than to be your 'l just want to forget my wife fuck' and then watch you go and be happy with someone else."

Peter stood up and made his way to Neal. As he stroked his face gently, Neal covered Peter's hand with his and planted a little kiss on it, then moved it away from his face.
Peter looked hurt but Neal kept convincing himself that he was doing it for him, to protect him.

"So it's like this"

"Peter don't make me the bad guy! You're drunk, you're hurt, you don't think straight, you don't know what you want."

"I want you."

"Peter…"

"I do … I always did"

"Peter, please, stop"

"Tell me that you don't want me and I'll go."

"I don't …." He couldn't finish the sentence because Peter's lips were on his again, his hand was on his waist, puling him so close that Neal could feel how hard Peter was. Peter broke the kiss and looked into Neal's blue eyes, but just as before all that Neal could see in them was pain. Peter was leaning for another kiss, but this time Neal was faster.

"I don't want you Peter"

Peter stopped in midair, studying Neal's face, searching for a sign that this was just a lie, another con, that he just wanted him to try harder, but there was no sign of lying in Neal's face.

Peter let go of Neal and walked out of the door. Without looking back he slammed the door behind him. Neal jumped from the sound and as hard as he tried, he couldn't stop the tears from running down his face.

TBC