This one-shot is based off of the plot bunny, "Follows the theme 'nothing to live for when you're sleeping alone'." Not sure how much I actually like it. Enjoy the Spaqualad-y goodness.
Disclaimer - I only wished I owned them...
Warning - SLASH! If you don't like it turn back now. You've been given fair warning. Don't send me reviews saying how it's horrible and disgusting. I'll just laugh.
Never Say the Words
Roy tossed and turned on his bed, unable to find a comfortable sleeping position. He crushed a body pillow to his chest, sighing heavily. It just wasn't the same. He couldn't sleep.
After another hour of restlessness, Roy threw the body pillow against the wall with a feral growl.
"Damn him. Damn him…." Roy pulled himself out of bed, throwing a red shirt on over his bare chest before stalking out of the room.
He made his way into the common room of the Titans East Tower, grumbling the entire way. Karen, known by most as Bumblebee, was reclining on the couch, watching television. She glanced up in surprise as her archer teammate stormed into the room.
"Can't sleep?" she asked gently. Roy threw himself onto the couch beside her.
"Huge surprise there," he muttered, resting his head in his hands. "Ever since he left…I'm not used to sleeping alone."
"Roy, he left for a reason. And I promise, it wasn't to cause you pain."
"I know he didn't. He never would." Roy sighed. "He's too caring for that. But it still hurts, even knowing it wasn't intentional."
"Did you ever stop feeling sorry for yourself long enough to think about why he left, then?" Karen prodded, sitting up to face him.
"I just kind of figured he didn't love me anymore," admitted Roy, shrugging.
"Don't be a fool, Roy Harper," admonished the team leader. "Garth still loves you. He probably always will. You know this as well as I do."
"Then why did he leave?" Roy demanded, jolting upright to begin pacing the room.
"I think you're far more qualified than I am to answer that question. Think about it for a minute. What would make Garth decide to leave?"
"What are you, my shrink?"
Karen sighed, standing up to grab Roy by the arm and force him to face her.
"No. I'm your friend. Now you listen to me, you useless idiot," she growled. "Garth still loves you. You could see it as well as I could the day he left. Garth is also selfless. If you hadn't realized this yet then you don't deserve him, anyway. The only reason he would leave would be if he believed he was hurting you or he thought that you no longer loved him."
"That's ridiculous," Roy snapped. "Of course I love him."
Roy's eyes narrowed dangerously, and for the first time Karen noticed that he wasn't wearing his ever-present mask.
"Of course he knew I-" Roy stopped suddenly and swore. "No, he didn't. I never told him," he muttered, realization finally dawning. "I never actually told him I loved him. I just thought he knew…."
"How could he?" Karen asked, voice gentle once more.
"Did you know," Roy began, ignoring his teammate's question, "that the only reason we never told anyone about is was because I didn't want to deal with the press and the homophobes? He wanted to tell people. He didn't want to have to hide."
"Roy, dearest, you are utterly hopeless," Karen told him, shaking her head.
"Probably. Thanks, though."
"Thanks? For what?"
Roy grinned. "For being awake now. For listening to me rant. For giving me a much needed smack upside the head. Metaphorically, of course."
"I could do it literally, too," offered the insect-girl with a smirk.
Roy shook his head. "I'm sure you could. However, I'm kind of fond of the few brain cells I have left, so I think I'll take a rain check and go back to bed."
"Goodnight, Roy," Karen called after the archer as he headed back to his room.
"'Night, Karen," he replied, waving a hand at her. He disappeared into his room.
"Speedy, tell us. How has your team coped with the abandonment of Aqualad? How has this affected team workings? Are you looking for a replacement? What about this Argent we've heard so much about? Or maybe HotSpot?"
The news reporter thrust a microphone in the archer's face – the only Titan willing to answer press questions. Bumblebee ignored them; Aqualad, when he was still on the team, was far too private to answer such questions; and Mas y Menos still didn't speak English.
This particular question, however, seemed to irk the teen much more than the reported had anticipated.
"He didn't abandon us," snapped Speedy. "He needed some time alone, away from the team. We gave him that. So no, we're not looking for a replacement of any kind. No one could replace Aqualad. He'll be back when he's ready. And we'll be waiting for him. I'll be waiting for him."
The reporter froze. "Are you saying that you and Aqualad were-"
Garth switched off the television.
"Roy, you great idiot," he muttered to the empty room. A small smile played on his lips. Sighing, he pulled on a jacket and left his apartment, where he had been living since he left the Titans two months ago.
"Well, Roy, I hope you know what you are doing here," Karen announced as the depleted team made its way back into the living room.
"So do I," Roy replied, promptly sprawling on the couch.
"Long as we've got that cleared up." Karen yawned. "I'm going to bed."
Mas y Menos waved their twin goodbyes as well, zooming off towards their room.
As soon as he was alone, Roy sighed heavily. That was most definitely not an experience he wanted to repeat. Ever.
"Garth, love, I hope you heard that," he whispered, closing his eyes.
"I did."
Roy shot up at the sound of the Atlantean's voice.
"Garth! You're back!" Roy paused. "Or I'm dreaming, which is a much more reasonable answer."
"It's not a dream, Roy. Promise."
Roy frowned, unconvinced. "Oh, what the hell," he decided, and moved towards Garth before stopping short.
"I mean, um, it's great to see you again. How have you been?"
"Roy, you moron, come here." Garth held out his arms, and Roy rushed in, embracing the other teen tightly.
"Missed you," he murmured.
"I missed you, too. But I saw the broadcast," Garth raised an eyebrow at Roy. "What was that for, anyway? I thought you didn't want to tell anyone."
"But you did." Roy shrugged. "Besides, they were going to find out eventually. Better that we chose the playing field. They can't claim that we were too ashamed to come forward now."
"You're not?"
"Not what?" Roy asked, puzzled.
"Ashamed. Of me. Of us."
Roy was shocked. "Of course I'm not! Why in all nine hells would you think that?"
Garth sighed. "We were always sneaking around. You didn't want anyone to know. In public, we were friends, nothing more and nothing less. What was I supposed to think?"
"Oh, Garth." The archer pulled the other over to the couch, sitting next to him. "That's entirely not it at all. You told me once that relationships like – like ours weren't uncommon in Atlantis. No one cared really. Here…here it's different. People treat you differently. People will hate you without even knowing you. I didn't…I didn't want to put either of us through that; I didn't want you to be hurt. It finally occurred to me through the timely intervention of Karen that I was hurting you more than they ever could."
"You really think I didn't know what I was getting into here?" Garth asked, watching Roy carefully. "I've been on the surface a long time now. I watch the new; I hear things. I knew what I was doing when I kissed you, and I knew what people would say. I didn't care. I'd rather face their disgust than have to hide what I feel for you. We can't change who we are, Roy. Don't try."
"I wasn't. And you're right. We should have told them earlier." Roy sighed again. "I guess it doesn't really matter now, though. What's done is done."
"Exactly." Garth stood up, pulling Roy to his feet with him. "Now, it's late. You should be asleep."
"I haven't been able to sleep properly in two months," admitted Roy. "Not since you left."
Garth chuckled. "Well, let's see if we can fix that, shall we?" He led Roy down the hall towards his room.
"Fair enough. Hey, Garth?"
The Atlantean paused. "Hmm?"
"I love you."
'I know. I love you, too, Roy."
El Fin
Thoughts? Reviews are amazing inventions, you know. XD