I was reading a fanfic in the Zoids category and decided to do a little
something like that. Hence: this little random game show. (I hope Spectral
won't mind that I reconstructed his idea.)
Disclaimer - I don't own a studio, or the nuclear/atomic/plasma weapons, or the Xmen characters (or else they wouldn't put up as much as a fight when I *ahem* ask them to make an appearance).
****
The Lights start up, then dims, then light up again, then dims back into dark colored blackness (because that's the only type of blackness)
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge!!!"
FORGE: "Sorry, bumped the switch."
The lights go on, this time staying on, revealing a studio trailed with cables and complicated looking machinery.
VOICE OVER GUY: "Somewhere, far far away, on a planet-"
RUBBER DUKI: *Pops up in a puff of smoke, then coughs, waving the smoke away* "New Zealand, I'm in Palmerston North New Zealand. Just read the lines Pyro. *Mutters* Aussies." *Pops away in another puff of smoke. Coughing can be heard from behind a curtain*
PYRO: *in a low voice* "Just trying to make it interesting" *Normal voice* "Welcome to Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show. And now, your host: Duki!"
Rubber Duki reappears in a cloud of smoke behind a desk with a lot of chrome and flashing buttons while Pyro does some, errr, pyrotechnics creating patterns with his beloved flame thrower (and almost frying Forge who was repairing god-knows-what on a support beam above the studio).
DUKI: *Coughing* "I really need to work on an entrance that doesn't do as much damage to my lungs." *Looks up, expecting applause* "Errr, Pyro? Where's the studio audience?"
PYRO: *shrugs* "I dunno, on my job application it only said that I was the voice over guy, pyrotechnics guy and the show assistant. It didn't mention anything about being the publicist." *Goes back to making flame sculptures while laughing insanely*
DUKI: *Sighs* "Forge?"
FORGE: "Don't look at me, you kidnapped me from my lab and let's just say that contract didn't mention anything about publicizing either."
DUKI: "So I have no audience?"
FORGE: "Duh"
DUKI: "Well. this could still work" *Yells* "Pyro! Bring out our guest!"
PYRO: "Guest? What guest?"
DUKI: "The guest that you were supposed to book.y'know for the show?"
PYRO: "Oh that, I didn't book anyone."
DUKI: "And you didn't do that WHY???"
PYRO: "Well, first I had trouble choosing someone, and when I finally made a decision that person ran away screaming when they saw me arrive. I dunno why, I mean just because I accidentally set fire to their car once doesn't mean. okay, so it wasn't an accident and it was his hair not the car but still."
DUKI: "Ok, ok I get the point. Good thing I had Forge install a trans- dimentional transporter/black hole." *points to a closed closet door* "I'll have to triple your paycheck Forge."
FORGE: *from backstage* "And seeing how you're paying me nothing then that'll be-"
PYRO: "Three Dollars? Hey! How come he gets more than me?"
DUKI: "Because apparently kidnapped staff does the job better than hired yet insane ones." *Receives glare from Pyro* "Now, roll out the guest chooser gizmo Mr. Pyro."
Pyro runs backstage before coming back with a trolley that has a checkered tablecloth covering it. Underneath the cloth there is something bulgy sticking out.
Rubber Duki unveils her guest chooser thingy. It looks like a bingo machine (the type where you turn the handle and all the balls inside spins around). She turns the handle several times and sticks a hand inside to grab a ball.
DUKI: "And our last minute guest is. B4?" *Grabs another ball from inside the machine* "A7? This isn't my guest chooser." *Frowns* "But if this is a bingo machine then who's got my guest selector?"
*A retirement village somewhere else in the world*
A man turns a bingo machine lookalike and selects a ball.
BINGO OPERATOR: "Wolverine"
AN OLD LADY WITH A PINK HAT: "Bingo! Finally, I've been eyeing that cup of coffee with real caffeine in it since last week." *Runs up front to receive her prize of real coffee* "I don't care what those doctors say, I need my caffeine."
*Back to the studio*
DUKI: "Ok then," *Takes a deep breath* "In the face of adversary I will prevail! THE SHOW MUST GO ON"
PYRO: "Oh, so THIS is the cockoo side of your personality. I was afraid I'd never see that version of Rubber Duki."
DUKI: "You."
PYRO: "What about me."
DUKI: "Based on my horrible decision making skills without the help of my character selector. A simple game of deduction leaves YOU to be my first guest." *Grins like a squirrel who's just seen a pile of nuts. Wait a minute, squirrels can't grin can they? I mean their facial anatomy-* "Ok astrix describer, don't go overboard now."
PYRO: *for the first time looking less maniac and a little scared* "Me? What about Forge, he's entertaining, your viewers will love him muuuuch more than me - "
Rubber Duki presses a large blinking red button located on her desk. A pothole opens from below Pyro and he reemerges shackled to a chair directly in front of Duki (minus his flame-thrower).
PYRO: *looking at the shackles on his wrists and ankles* "A little overboard doncha think?"
DUKI: "Sorry, safety precautions, for my sake." *Takes out a bible from under her desk and tosses it to Pyro* "Now before I begin with the questions. St. John Allerdyce, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
PYRO: "No."
DUKI: "Fine, your choice." *Presses a random button. A large and serious looking cannon revolved from its former position and pointed directly at Pyro.* "I call it the Popsicle Maker Four thousand and twenty two." *Presses another button. Pyro's flame-thrower lands in front of him* "Now, do you want to take the oath or do I have to ice both you and your flame- thrower?"
PYRO: "You're bluffing."
DUKI: *Raises an eyebrow* "Am I?" *Pulls a lever. The cannon charges up and blasts the flame-thrower, encasing it in a thick layer of ice.* "Now, do you agree to the terms?"
Pyro looks at his ex-flame-thrower, then at Duki.
PYRO: *nods* "Fine, I do."
DUKI: "Good! Now for the first question: What's your favorite color?"
PYRO: *Pointing at his costume* "Isn't that obvious? You waste your first question asking about my favorite color?"
DUKI: "I guess it was a little obvious."
PYRO: "It's blue."
DUKI: "Blue? I would've guesses red or something."
PYRO: "Well, red was my favorite color yesterday. Tomorrow it might be yellow, or purple. I change my mind a lot."
DUKI: *low voice* "Ok." *Normal voice* "So what model is your flame thrower?"
PYRO: "Well it USED to be a QuickBurn four-hundred but NOW it seems like I'll be needing a new one."
DUKI: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is it true that you once barbecued a deck of Remy's cards so he stuck a plastic horse's head in your bed?"
PYRO: "No."
DUKI: "Oh. have you tried?"
PYRO: "Burning his cards? Nah. My hobby is trying to set non-flammable items on fire."
DUKI: "Ok, I'm done now."
PYRO: "Four questions? You went to all this trouble just to ask me four question?"
DUKI: "Well. maybe the reviewers will ask you more questions. But if you want, you can enter the bonus round challenge: Burn Burn Burn.
PYRO: "Ok. But I don't have a fire."
DUKI: *tosses him a lighter* "Good luck!" *presses a button and Pyro vanishes*
Forge sticks his head out from behind a screen door.
FORGE: "Does he realize that he's gonna try and battle 400 robot sentinels?"
Pyro's voice came through from behind another partition.
PYRO: "BRING IT ON ROBOTS. Muahahahaha."
DUKI: "Yeah, but I don't think he minds."
VOICE OVER GUY (which is a pre-recording of Pyro's voice): "And that's all for now. Tune in next time for another fun-filled episode of Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show!"
******
OK, so what do you think? Review is you want to ask questions for our guests (and Pyro). Review if you want to suggest a way to blackmail a guest. Just review.
Next Time:
Toad and Scooter boy
-Rubber Duki
Disclaimer - I don't own a studio, or the nuclear/atomic/plasma weapons, or the Xmen characters (or else they wouldn't put up as much as a fight when I *ahem* ask them to make an appearance).
****
The Lights start up, then dims, then light up again, then dims back into dark colored blackness (because that's the only type of blackness)
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge!!!"
FORGE: "Sorry, bumped the switch."
The lights go on, this time staying on, revealing a studio trailed with cables and complicated looking machinery.
VOICE OVER GUY: "Somewhere, far far away, on a planet-"
RUBBER DUKI: *Pops up in a puff of smoke, then coughs, waving the smoke away* "New Zealand, I'm in Palmerston North New Zealand. Just read the lines Pyro. *Mutters* Aussies." *Pops away in another puff of smoke. Coughing can be heard from behind a curtain*
PYRO: *in a low voice* "Just trying to make it interesting" *Normal voice* "Welcome to Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show. And now, your host: Duki!"
Rubber Duki reappears in a cloud of smoke behind a desk with a lot of chrome and flashing buttons while Pyro does some, errr, pyrotechnics creating patterns with his beloved flame thrower (and almost frying Forge who was repairing god-knows-what on a support beam above the studio).
DUKI: *Coughing* "I really need to work on an entrance that doesn't do as much damage to my lungs." *Looks up, expecting applause* "Errr, Pyro? Where's the studio audience?"
PYRO: *shrugs* "I dunno, on my job application it only said that I was the voice over guy, pyrotechnics guy and the show assistant. It didn't mention anything about being the publicist." *Goes back to making flame sculptures while laughing insanely*
DUKI: *Sighs* "Forge?"
FORGE: "Don't look at me, you kidnapped me from my lab and let's just say that contract didn't mention anything about publicizing either."
DUKI: "So I have no audience?"
FORGE: "Duh"
DUKI: "Well. this could still work" *Yells* "Pyro! Bring out our guest!"
PYRO: "Guest? What guest?"
DUKI: "The guest that you were supposed to book.y'know for the show?"
PYRO: "Oh that, I didn't book anyone."
DUKI: "And you didn't do that WHY???"
PYRO: "Well, first I had trouble choosing someone, and when I finally made a decision that person ran away screaming when they saw me arrive. I dunno why, I mean just because I accidentally set fire to their car once doesn't mean. okay, so it wasn't an accident and it was his hair not the car but still."
DUKI: "Ok, ok I get the point. Good thing I had Forge install a trans- dimentional transporter/black hole." *points to a closed closet door* "I'll have to triple your paycheck Forge."
FORGE: *from backstage* "And seeing how you're paying me nothing then that'll be-"
PYRO: "Three Dollars? Hey! How come he gets more than me?"
DUKI: "Because apparently kidnapped staff does the job better than hired yet insane ones." *Receives glare from Pyro* "Now, roll out the guest chooser gizmo Mr. Pyro."
Pyro runs backstage before coming back with a trolley that has a checkered tablecloth covering it. Underneath the cloth there is something bulgy sticking out.
Rubber Duki unveils her guest chooser thingy. It looks like a bingo machine (the type where you turn the handle and all the balls inside spins around). She turns the handle several times and sticks a hand inside to grab a ball.
DUKI: "And our last minute guest is. B4?" *Grabs another ball from inside the machine* "A7? This isn't my guest chooser." *Frowns* "But if this is a bingo machine then who's got my guest selector?"
*A retirement village somewhere else in the world*
A man turns a bingo machine lookalike and selects a ball.
BINGO OPERATOR: "Wolverine"
AN OLD LADY WITH A PINK HAT: "Bingo! Finally, I've been eyeing that cup of coffee with real caffeine in it since last week." *Runs up front to receive her prize of real coffee* "I don't care what those doctors say, I need my caffeine."
*Back to the studio*
DUKI: "Ok then," *Takes a deep breath* "In the face of adversary I will prevail! THE SHOW MUST GO ON"
PYRO: "Oh, so THIS is the cockoo side of your personality. I was afraid I'd never see that version of Rubber Duki."
DUKI: "You."
PYRO: "What about me."
DUKI: "Based on my horrible decision making skills without the help of my character selector. A simple game of deduction leaves YOU to be my first guest." *Grins like a squirrel who's just seen a pile of nuts. Wait a minute, squirrels can't grin can they? I mean their facial anatomy-* "Ok astrix describer, don't go overboard now."
PYRO: *for the first time looking less maniac and a little scared* "Me? What about Forge, he's entertaining, your viewers will love him muuuuch more than me - "
Rubber Duki presses a large blinking red button located on her desk. A pothole opens from below Pyro and he reemerges shackled to a chair directly in front of Duki (minus his flame-thrower).
PYRO: *looking at the shackles on his wrists and ankles* "A little overboard doncha think?"
DUKI: "Sorry, safety precautions, for my sake." *Takes out a bible from under her desk and tosses it to Pyro* "Now before I begin with the questions. St. John Allerdyce, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
PYRO: "No."
DUKI: "Fine, your choice." *Presses a random button. A large and serious looking cannon revolved from its former position and pointed directly at Pyro.* "I call it the Popsicle Maker Four thousand and twenty two." *Presses another button. Pyro's flame-thrower lands in front of him* "Now, do you want to take the oath or do I have to ice both you and your flame- thrower?"
PYRO: "You're bluffing."
DUKI: *Raises an eyebrow* "Am I?" *Pulls a lever. The cannon charges up and blasts the flame-thrower, encasing it in a thick layer of ice.* "Now, do you agree to the terms?"
Pyro looks at his ex-flame-thrower, then at Duki.
PYRO: *nods* "Fine, I do."
DUKI: "Good! Now for the first question: What's your favorite color?"
PYRO: *Pointing at his costume* "Isn't that obvious? You waste your first question asking about my favorite color?"
DUKI: "I guess it was a little obvious."
PYRO: "It's blue."
DUKI: "Blue? I would've guesses red or something."
PYRO: "Well, red was my favorite color yesterday. Tomorrow it might be yellow, or purple. I change my mind a lot."
DUKI: *low voice* "Ok." *Normal voice* "So what model is your flame thrower?"
PYRO: "Well it USED to be a QuickBurn four-hundred but NOW it seems like I'll be needing a new one."
DUKI: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is it true that you once barbecued a deck of Remy's cards so he stuck a plastic horse's head in your bed?"
PYRO: "No."
DUKI: "Oh. have you tried?"
PYRO: "Burning his cards? Nah. My hobby is trying to set non-flammable items on fire."
DUKI: "Ok, I'm done now."
PYRO: "Four questions? You went to all this trouble just to ask me four question?"
DUKI: "Well. maybe the reviewers will ask you more questions. But if you want, you can enter the bonus round challenge: Burn Burn Burn.
PYRO: "Ok. But I don't have a fire."
DUKI: *tosses him a lighter* "Good luck!" *presses a button and Pyro vanishes*
Forge sticks his head out from behind a screen door.
FORGE: "Does he realize that he's gonna try and battle 400 robot sentinels?"
Pyro's voice came through from behind another partition.
PYRO: "BRING IT ON ROBOTS. Muahahahaha."
DUKI: "Yeah, but I don't think he minds."
VOICE OVER GUY (which is a pre-recording of Pyro's voice): "And that's all for now. Tune in next time for another fun-filled episode of Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show!"
******
OK, so what do you think? Review is you want to ask questions for our guests (and Pyro). Review if you want to suggest a way to blackmail a guest. Just review.
Next Time:
Toad and Scooter boy
-Rubber Duki