A/N: I tried to hold it in, but the Dipcifica shipper inside of me can't hold back anymore... Anyways, here's the first chapter of East of Northwest.
It was summer. Most kids would be inside and playing video games. Of course, most kids weren't the Pines Twins. Dipper and Mabel Pines were planning to spend the summer with their friends in Piedmont, California. But their parents had other plans.
This is how the Pines were sent to their Great Uncle Stanfords little tourist trap, the Mystery Shack, in the quaint little town of Gravity Falls, Oregon. Their parents had no idea just how much trouble they put their children in.
Stanford Pines was not what someone would call a 'good person.' He was a professional con-man with a fair amount of money to his name. He understood the way people with money think, whether they be rich or poor, he knew how their minds tended to work. Which is why he was completely and utterly surprised at the request of the blonde girl in his doorway.
"You, a Northwest, are asking me to provide you with a job at the Mystery Shack..." The old man pinched his cheek and winced at the pain. "Alright... definately not a nightmare..."
"Look, are you going to let me apply for the job, or not?" The blonde girl sighed. This was the last place in town she could even attempt this. Her parents, while not necessarily against letting her get a job, had no wish to influence any of the potential employers with their money. Anywhere else in town she could work had given her a very polite no.
"Well, I guess so, do you have a resume?" The man adjusted the fez atop his head.
"I'm twelve years old." The girl replied flatly.
"Touche, I like your style. Come back tomorrow around..." The man pulled a list out of his pocket. "Let's see, they get here around then, so... Can you come by around 1:39 PM tomorrow? I can tell you what the job entails then."
"I can arrive then, Mr. Pines." The girl replied, letting out an internal sigh of relief. "I'll just be on my way then."
"Alright." The door shut as the old man lifted the eyepatch he had placed over his glasses. "Ugh, I don't really want to have a Northwest under my employ but..." He looked around the shack and noticed it's state. "Honestly, I need all the help I can get with this place. At least I can get away with paying her minimum wage." He grinned and chuckled to himself, before seeing a mouse run across the floor. "Soos! We have mice! Take care of it!"
Dipper sighed as he looked out the bus window. This summer was probably going to be normal and fairly boring. But he couldn't help feeling slightly excited at the same time. He was going somewhere new, he already knew every square inch of his neighborhood in Piedmont, but he had never been to Gravity Falls before. Not to mention his sister's happy-go-lucky attitude was always somewhat contagious. He turned to look at Mabel, seeing her moving her head back and forth as she swung her legs and attempted to sing along with the song on the radio station the bus driver had on. The noises she was making weren't even close to real words, but he found it amusing all the same.
It was a minute longer before the bus stopped and the twins grabbed their things. Outside was an old man dressed in a tux with a fez on his head, along with an eyepatch on top of his glasses.
"Hey there, I'm your Great Uncle Stan." He said as he used a smoke pellet. "Tah-dah!"
Dipper heard a deep inhale beside him, and he smiled to himself knowing what was going to happen next.
"Grunkle Stan! I'm so happy to finally meet you!" In a pink and brunette blur, Mabel attached herself to the man. "I've heard you have a bunch of weird stuff at your house, can you do the smoke thing again? Do you have an owl? Do you have a Salamander?" Mabel gasped as she thought of something. "Do you have an owl with the head of a salamander?!"
"Uh, well. I think I only brought one pellet with me, also I'm not entirely sure about the Owlamander thing, but I could probably have Soos make you one." He pried Mabel off of himself and straightened his suit. "Anyways, let's get going. I have a tour scheduled in a half hour, and an interview a few minutes after that." As he walked away, Mabel and Dipper heard him mutter quietly to himself. "Grunkle, huh? I kinda like the sound of that."
The twins picked up their luggage and followed their Grunkle for a few minutes before they spotted a brown pickup truck with what could only be described as a large man-child sitting in the driver's seat. "Hey there Mr. Pines, hey little dudes, you don't mind if I call you guys little dudes, do ya?"
"Soos, it's rude not to introduce yourself." Stan told him. "Kids, this is Soos Ramirez, he's the Mystery Shack's handyman."
"Nice to meet you." Soos turned his cap around. "You dudes just get in the back, then we'll be back at the best place on earth!"
"Put your stuff in the bed of the truck." Stan told the two pre-teens.
"Bed?" Mabel asked confused.
"The open part in the back." Dipper told his sister as he lifted his luggage up.
"Oh! Can I ride back there?" Mabel asked Soos.
"Sorry girl dude, my abuelita would kill me if she knew I let someone ride back there. Just head to the back seats." The handyman said with a chuckle.
Mabel complied, and the truck began moving moments later.
"Kids, I want you to come down to my office once you've gotten your stuff all set up." Stan told them. "I'll show you around the shack then."
Mabel asked Stan and Soos a couple more questions before the truck arrived in front of what looked like a fairly run-down cabin with the words 'Mystery Shack' in big wooden letters on the roof.
"Alright dudes, welcome to the best place ever!" Soos told them proudly.
"Soos, show them to the attic, would ya?" Stan said as he walked into the shack. "Wendy, pay attention to the register, the next group of tourists are gonna come in at any second!" The man yelled.
"Alright, do either of you dudes need help with your bags?" Soos asked the twins.
"Nope, I'm pretty sure we've got them." Dipper said as he grabbed his suitcase and a bag full of his sister's yarn.
"Yay!" Mable grabbed two suitcases and began hopping from foot to foot. "Come on, let's go! I want to see our room!"
"Alright, follow me dudes." Soos said as he began walking to the shack. Mabel ran literal circles around him while Dipper followed at a safe distance.
When the twins got into the attic, they saw two beds on either side of the room, both were made and ready for someone to sleep on. The twins eagerly began unpacking their belongings, a few books and changes of clothes for Dipper, and a few changes of clothes, a few sweaters, and Mable's knitting needles and her yarn were brought out of her luggage.
When the twins finished and headed downstairs, Dipper noticed the time on the clock in the kitchen was 1:38.
"I wonder why Grunkle Stan wants to see us?" Mable asked Dipper. "Do you think he's actually a spy for the government and he needs us to mind the shop while he's on his secret spy business? Or maybe-"
"Maybe we should ask him ourselves." Dipper said, interrupting his twin's possible rant.
Pacifica Northwest was nervous, although no one would be able to tell by looking at her. She had thought her parents were okay with her getting a job, but it turns out they had bribed everyone in town to turn her down. They didn't bribe Stan Pines or Toby Determined though. She could understand the last one, she wouldn't be caught dead within five feet of the place the fake reporter worked.
Her father was silent, she knew he had the bell somewhere on his person. He was going to the Mystery Shack with her so she could 'apologize' for asking about a job there.
The limo arrived in front of the Mystery Shack at 1:35, Pacifica and her father got out of the car, the twelve year old girl was wearing jeans and the only pair of shoes she owned that weren't heels. The door was open.
"Excuse me, can you point me in the direction of Stanford Pine's office?" Preston Northwest asked the red-haired teen at the counter with displeasure clear in his voice.
"Go past the room of oddities and turn left, it's a big double door." The teen answered, bored. Not even raising her head from the magazine she was reading.
Preston and Pacifica followed the directions, eventually ending of at a set of double doors. Inside, they found Stan sitting at his desk.
"Huh, your early, and you brought your pops." The old man said gruffly. "Would either of you like a seat?"
Preston took a single glance at the chairs in the office, and grimaced. "I believe we will both stand. I heard that you accepted my daughter for an interview to work..." The current head of the Northwest family tried to find a word to compliment the shack. "...here, but I am afraid I must apologize. She was unaware that I had only a small list of places where I would allow her to work, and this place was not on it."
"Is that so? That's too bad." Stan could read people, it was one of the skills that led to his success in this business. "I was thinking that you would embrace the chance to have your daughter act a little independently, things like that reflect real good on parents, y'know?" Stan could tell that this caught the wealthier man's attention. "I was even thinking of promoting your mudflap factory too, since I know a lot of tourists come here from out of town."
Preston Northwest wanted his family name to only equate to the best of the best, but what Stan Pines said definately sounded good. After all, the Mystery Shack was the main draw for tourists in this backwater town... "Hmm... I suppose I might allow you to hire my daughter..."
"Oh really? This almost sounds too good to be true..." Stan knew Preston's game, he was going to try to push for more than Pacifica was worth, but a glance at the body language of the twelve year old told him that hiring her was in her best interest. Besides, maybe she would get along with Dipper and Mable.
"I assure you, it's not." Preston Northwest grinned. "All I would need you to do is pay my little girl a fair amount, sponsor my mudflaps, and make sure she doesn't get hurt while working here." Preston thought these were fair terms, and far less than Stan was expecting him to ask, if the look on the old man's face was anything to go by.
"I was planning on doing that already, so if everything is all wrapped up..." Stan could tell that Preston got his hint.
"Well, good luck with the interview sweetie!" Pacifica's father said as he left the room and walked outside.
The room was silent until the two people in it heard a car start up and drive away.
"So, first question, and answer me honestly little lady: why do you want a job?" Stan asked Pacifica.
"Well, I..." Pacifica cut herself off. "I guess I just wanted to do something with myself instead of just spending all my time cooped up inside the mansion." Stan squinted at the girl, as if he was trying to see if her head would reveal whether or not she had lied.
"You're hired." All the nervousness Pacifica felt immediately turned into confusion.
"What? Aren't there more questions you need to ask me?" Pacifica asked, not entirely sure what was going on.
"Nah, the whole interview thing was mostly to see if you had come here on a dare or something." Stan leaned back. "You'll be meeting your new coworkers in a few minutes, actually..." He looked at his wristwatch. "They should be here already."
Moments later, Stan and Pacifica heard high pitched giggling, and a cracking voice.
"C'mon Mabel, give me back my hat! We need to go to Grunkle Stan's office!" Dipper yelled as he chased his hyperactive twin.
"Where do you think I'm leading you?" Mabel teased back at him as she threw him his hat and entered Stan's office.
Dipper grumbled as he put his hat back on and walked in as well. "So why did you want to see us Grunkle Stan?"
A/N: I'm not gonna stretch myself too thin with this. I believe it's an interesting What-If for Gravity Falls, and these 2209 words more of a preview than an actual story right now. Once I've finished a couple of my other fics I'm working on, I'll begin working on this in earnest.