I needed a break from revision, and out of nowhere, this appeared. It was written very quickly and hasn't been beta-ed so there are bound to be mistakes, but I hope the overall concept makes sense. This isn't really a Sabriel story in the romantic sense, although I hope to write one of those someday – it's about seeing something of yourself in someone else and consequently wanting to watch out for them. Well, you can decide if it's classed as Sabriel after you've read it. Please review and comment what you think
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. If I did, Destiel would be canon and Gabriel would never have died – or at least, he would have been brought back before now.
The truth was, Gabriel had always been watching the youngest Winchester. It hadn't been his job to – in fact, with what the boy was, it was probably expected that he stay as far away from the boy as possible – yet he had always felt an overwhelming need to protect the him, once he had discovered who he was. That was the real reason why he had died for him in the end, and why he had put in so much effort before to try and prepare him for everything that was going to come.
The first time they had met, Sam had been just two years old – barely even a toddler – yet unlike all the other toddlers at the park, his expression had been almost morose, and he had been sat in the sandpit with an air of being much, much older.
Gabriel had hesitated with approaching him – a lone man walking up to a young child tended to cause all sorts of unwelcome gossip – but noticing that the small boy appeared to be alone, he had grown concerned and moved to squat alongside him.
"What's up, little fella? Lost your mummy and daddy?"
Sam's lower lip had trembled, and before Gabriel could fully understand what was going on he was crying, turning into Gabriel's arm and clutching it like a lifeline.
"Hey, it's okay," Gabriel had soothed, quite confused by what was going on. "Here..." He had fished a strawberry lollipop out of his pocket and handed it to the upset toddler.
Almost instantly, the crying had stopped and the child had looked up at him with grateful, still watery eyes.
"Thank-you," He had said, in a voice so soft and innocent that it forced a real, genuine smile onto Gabriel's face.
"Anytime, kiddo," Gabriel had replied, sticking his own lollipop in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it.
"My mummy's dead." The boy had suddenly said, and Gabriel had almost fallen over at the knowledgeable, accepting way he had said it.
"Oh." Gabriel was practically rendered speechless – a rare occurrence, but there was just something about this child that did something to him. It made him feel pity, and archangels turned tricksters just don't feel pity. It isn't a requirement of the job.
"She died when I was a baby. I don't remember her. But daddy says it was my fault." The boy continued talking quietly, sitting down in the sand and kicking out his feet, the lollipop clutched in one tiny fist.
"Why would your daddy say that? It can't be your fault, you were a baby." Gabriel tried to be reassuring, putting one hand on the child's shoulder, but he was still confused.
The boy looked up and met Gabriel's eyes, murky green pools staring into golden ones. "I don't know. But daddy isn't here now. He went away again. Dean said he would be back today but he wasn't. He lied."
Gabriel started to reply, but was cut off by a voice shouting "Sammy!" The little boy stood up and ran over to where another boy of about six was standing anxiously.
"I told you to stay in the motel, Sammy! Come on, dad's coming back soon."
Sammy. Something clicked in Gabriel's mind as he watched the two boys leave, the smaller one leaning into his big brother's side. They must be the Winchester brothers. The future righteous man, and the one who would start the apocalypse. Sam Winchester – the boy with the demon blood and the prophesised vessel of Lucifer.
At that moment, Gabriel had known that he should stay away from the younger Winchester. But he also knew that he wasn't going to. There was just something about the boy that made him want to protect him – he wasn't the embodiment of evil that the others made him out to be. He didn't listen to the gossip of Heaven very often any more, but he had heard enough to know that this boy would be hunted – and he definitely didn't deserve it. Not when he was so innocent and oblivious and already so old before his time.
Gabriel had roughly kept track of where Sam Winchester went after that, dragged around the country by his hunter father. He had never gotten too close – he didn't want John to start hunting him, after all, and he wasn't going to stop being a Trickster just for this boy – but he had continued to keep tabs. It had only taken a couple of years for them to cross paths again, although admittedly, the only reason was because Gabriel hadn't realised how close his hiding place was to where the boy was staying.
He was working as a janitor in a supermarket – he liked working as a janitor, it meant you could get in anywhere without being noticed – when he had noticed a couple of small boys wandering alone in the ready meal section. He had discreetly wandered over, not used to seeing such young children without parental supervision, when he had recognised one of the boys and stopped. Sam Winchester. He was older now – around four or maybe even five – and clutching an orange juice bottle in one hand. His little face was creased in worry, and he looked no happier than when Gabriel had last seen him. Gabriel knew that he shouldn't walk over – he might be recognised – but he couldn't fight the urge to talk to that interesting little boy again. He was important to Heaven, and even without that, he was an enigma.
"Can I help you boys?" He asked, jovially walking over.
Instantly, the elder Winchester had stepped protectively in front of Sammy and glared up at Gabriel.
"We're fine. Just picking up something for dinner. Our dad's too busy."
Gabriel put his hands up in mock surrender, the mop he was clutching in one of them waving in the air.
"Okay, kiddo, no need to get so stressed. I'm just asking." He smiled down at Sam, before realising that the boy was looking up with something close to recognition on his face.
"Do I know you?" The boy asked, stepping out from behind his brother.
"Sammy, don't talk to strangers! Of course we don't know him!" The elder boy had pulled at Sam's sleeve, but he pushed him back.
"Dean, stop it! I don't need you on my back all the time!"
"I'm just looking out for you, Sammy! Dad told me to."
"Yeah, but dad's not here, is he? Dad's never here! So you don't always need to go doing what he tells you to."
Gabriel observed the exchange almost warily. It was obvious that the two young boys cared for each other, but it was also obvious that their father was always absent, and as a result the older boy had stepped up to become a father figure – and Sam seemed to resent that fact.
"Fine! I'm going back to the motel, you can go and do whatever as you obviously don't want me around!" Dean glared at his little brother before picking up a random box of microwave Indian and storming off, with all the petulance of a child his age.
Sam looked both angry and upset, and Gabriel stepped forward to stand next to him.
"He's just looking out for you, kiddo. I used to do the same for my little brothers."
Sam looked up at Gabriel with what was unmistakably a bitch-face – pretty impressive for a chubby-cheeked four or five year old.
"I know that, I'm not stupid. I just wish he'd stop trying to protect me from everything, I'm old enough to understand."
Gabriel looked down pityingly. The kid didn't understand anything yet, and he would never be ready for all of it. His stubborn attitude almost reminded Gabriel of how he himself had been, many years ago back in Heaven.
"Here," He reached into his pocket and pulled out a lollipop, the same flavour as the one he had given Sam a couple of years ago. "Go after your brother. You don't want to go falling out with someone who's got your back."
Sam blinked up at Gabriel, then reached for the lollipop, unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth.
"Fanks," He mumbled, his voice distorted around the lollipop, then ran off after Dean.
Gabriel stood and watched him leave, still clutching the mop. The poor kid. He was so desperate to grow up and be part of what his family did – he didn't understand that really, that was the last thing he should want. Especially with what he was, and what he would become.
The third time they had met, Gabriel had been very careful to hide who he was from Sam. It hadn't mattered so much before, but now he was determined that his interest had to stay unnoticed by anyone else who was watching – Sam was getting older, and Hell was bound to be observing his progress.
Once again, Gabriel was hiding as a janitor – this time in a dilapidated elementary school. Sam had turned up two days ago, enrolling for a few weeks while his dad chased up a hunt. He was now seven years old and clearly underfed, but he still had the same intelligent and thoughtful look in his eyes as he had back when he was just a toddler.
Gabriel was rearranging one of the store cupboards, a scratchy beard and moustache that he had grown as a disguise hiding his face, when he had heard a crash behind him and turned around to see a boy sprawled on the ground where he had tripped over Gabriel's cleaning equipment.
"Sorry, kiddo!" Gabriel exclaimed, stepping forward to help the boy up. The boy looked up and Gabriel felt recognition flit across his face – Sam Winchester. He had known the boy was here, but seeing him laying on the ground surrounded by cleaning bottles was slightly unexpected.
Sam scrambled to his feet, quickly trying to gather the items he had displaced, his cheeks burning red.
"It's fine, kiddo, get back to class. I'll deal with the mess." Gabriel smiled warmly at Sam but the boy just got a very guilty look in his eyes.
Realising something, Gabriel smirked.
"Are you ditching, Sammy-boy?" He teased.
A wary expression appeared on Sam's face and he tensed, looking up at Gabriel.
"How do you know my name?"
Oops. Gabriel had forgotten that he was supposed to be hiding that he had seen the boy before.
"You're new fish. They always talking about the newbies in the staffroom." He lied easily, smiling again at the boy.
"Well, it's Sam." The boy said adamantly, stepping away from Gabriel.
"As you wish, Sammykins. Anyway, I'll ask again, why are you ditching? Don't worry, I won't tell the principal." Gabriel was honestly intrigued – from everything that he'd observed so far, Sam was closer to the nerd end of the spectrum than the ditcher end. That was his brother Dean's job.
Sam's gaze flitted from side to side nervously, then he sighed.
"Dean, my brother, he needs my help. He asked me to ditch and meet him. I don't normally do it though, I like school, I'm not a bad kid like that." He sounded earnest, like he really wanted Gabriel to believe that he was good. It send a pang through him – he wanted so badly to be accepted as good person, when Gabriel knew better than anyone that with demon blood inside him, he really wasn't. He could never be.
"I'm sure you're not," Gabriel soothed, unwrapping a Snickers bar.
Sam's eyes lit up at the sight of the chocolate.
Gabriel chuckled. "Here, kiddo, take it. Go now or the principal'll see you. Oh, and don't go out the front gate, there's a loose wire next to the science block that I haven't fixed yet – slip under there, there's no cameras so they can't see you."
Sam looked confused, but took the Snickers anyway. "Why are you helping me?"
Gabriel laughed. "I like you, kiddo. You seem cool. Just don't tell anyone about this."
The boy nodded vigorously then turned away, and Gabriel smiled. Sam Winchester really was a cute little kid – far too trusting for a trainee hunter and future vessel of Lucifer, but a nice kid. It was a pity, really, that he of all people was being groomed to be Lucifer's vessel.
It was barely six months before they met again – but this time, Gabriel really didn't want to. John Winchester had caught his Trickster sent and was trying to hunt him for the murder of a bank worker. The guy had totally deserved it – the lying, cheating thug – but hunters never saw it like that, so now Gabriel was hiding. Not that it would matter if he was staked, but still, the process was quite unpleasant even if it didn't kill him.
He had been sitting on a park bench in the dark, completely disguised as a balding, fifty-something year old man, when he had noticed out of the corner of his eye someone sitting beside him.
"Why are you sitting outside in the dark?" The person asked, and Gabriel jolted as he recognised Sam Winchester's voice.
"I like the dark." Gabriel replied simply, pulling a pack of Malteasers out of his pocket. "Why are you sitting outside in the dark?"
"I had a fight with my dad. Again." Sam's voice sounded resigned.
"You fight with your dad a lot then?" Gabriel enquired, although he felt that he already knew the answer.
"He blames me for my mum's death."
Gabriel knew that – Sam had told him the first time they had met – but that didn't make it sound any better.
"He doesn't like that I worry about school, either. Says it's not important because I have to go into the family business. But I don't want to do that, it's dangerous, and I like school. I want to get a proper job, not worry about everything all the time."
Gabriel smiled sadly. Sam would never be able to leave this life behind – not with who and what he was – but he should be able to. He felt a great sense of empathy with the strange kid.
"I never used to like my dad much either, kiddo. I was expected to – we all were, with who he was – but he never actually saw us, we had to do everything he said and he never gave us anything in return. My brothers were always fighting and he never did anything except cast one of them out – and he wouldn't even do that in person. When I eventually did see him, he didn't even apologise, didn't explain anything – just told me what to do and expected me to obey, with no explanations. I loved him, I still do love him, but I couldn't stand the way he treated us. All of us." Gabriel's voice was practically bitter, and he knew that he shouldn't be telling anyone this – Sam Winchester especially – but the kid was young and didn't know what Gabriel was really talking about, and it felt good to get it off his chest.
He barely realised what was happening before he felt a pair of small arms around his waist and realised that Sam was hugging him. Smiling, he put one of his own arms around the little boy and sighed.
For the first time, it felt like he was with someone who almost understood him. It was just some kind of screwed up karma that meant that someone was a seven year old with demon blood.
The next few times, Gabriel decided against approaching the boy – he simply checked in every now and again, making sure he was okay. He watched a nine year old Sam share his first kiss under a tree at school – terribly clichéd really – and smiled as a ten year old Sam proudly ganked his first demon. It became his default thing to do whenever he was bored – visit Sam Winchester. It wasn't creepy, it was just that Gabriel felt a strange kinship with him and wanted to protect him, even though he knew that in the end, he couldn't.
Sam was fourteen when Gabriel next decided to speak to him, and was just starting a growth spurt – Gabriel had an annoying feeling that he was going to end up being dwarfed. Why did his vessel have to be so annoying short? He had been a perfectly respectable height back in the 9th century or whatever...
Gabriel had been serving justice on a few locals who had been particularly sinful in his opinion when he realised that the Winchesters were in town, searching out a group of vampires. He hadn't seen Sam in a while and they hadn't spoken in even longer, so he decided to see how he was doing. Donning an appropriate disguise – a strange floppy cap and a pair of sunglasses – he walked over to the local shop that he knew Dean or Sam were likely to turn up at and waited, picking up a magazine to flick through.
It was only a few minutes later that the bell on the door tinkled and Gabriel turned to see Sam stepping in, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets and a worried expression on his face. Well, worry wasn't exactly an unusual emotion for the youngest Winchester, so Gabriel supposed he was fine.
He waited until Sam was looking through the salad selection – salad, really though – before moving to talk to him.
"Haven't seen you around town before," He commented casually, glancing at the fridge as if he interested in pre-packaged sandwiches.
Sam jumped, looking at Gabriel with wide eyes. "Oh, no, I'm not – I'm just here for a few days with my family."
Gabriel almost laughed at the way Sam reacted when he had approached. Priceless.
"Seeing relatives?" He asked innocently, amused by this older, easily flustered Sammy.
"Um, yes, that's right." Sam smiled uneasily, looking up at Gabriel.
"Well, you enjoy that, kiddo," He grinned, clapping the boy on the shoulder. Struck by a sudden inspiration, he added, "But stay away from the houses down by the marsh, they're dangerous to be around at night. Anything could happen down there."
Sam paused, clearly picking up on Gabriel's hint, and Gabriel stifled a chuckle, grabbing a random sandwich so as not to arouse suspicion before walking over to the sweet section.
"Wait!"
Gabriel heard the exclamation and turned, seeing Sam stood behind him inquisitively.
"What did you mean, don't go to the houses by the marsh at night?"
Gabriel shrugged, not entirely sure how to proceed without giving what he knew away. "Just that, kiddo. You hear rumours. People disappearing there, strange goings on. Every town has a dodgy area, and that's just the dodgy area of this town. It's no big deal."
"What rumours?" Sam pressed, seeking the information almost urgently.
Gabriel sighed, deciding it wouldn't hurt to give away a little more information than he really should, just this once. He couldn't resist those puppy-dog eyes.
"Look, kiddo, there are always stories in an old town like this, most of which aren't true. But there are a few which are true, and the ones about that place are." He picked up a Snickers bar. "You're not gonna believe me if I tell you, so just trust me that those houses are bad news." He only added the last bit to half keep up appearances.
Sam cracked a smile. "Trust me, I've heard some strange stories and I'm more likely to believe you than anyone else."
Gabriel knew that, he really did. But a little corner shop probably wasn't the right place to acknowledge that.
"Just let me buy this and then we can talk outside."
Sam's face fell. "My brother's waiting for me, I don't know if I can stay."
Gabriel shrugged, partially disappointed but also relieved that he was now unable to give too much away. He stepped up to the counter and set down his sweets and sandwiches, observing as Sam stepped into line behind him.
It was only once they had both paid and were about to walk out of the store that Gabriel spoke again.
"Look after yourself, won't you, kiddo."
Sam frowned and looked over at Gabriel.
"Um... sure..."
Gabriel smiled and nodded, before adding, "Oh, and if you do for some reason go to those houses, use this." He dropped a vial into Sam's shopping bag before quickly leaving, flying off as soon as he was around the corner.
Sam had been both perplexed and grateful when he had fished out the vial of dead man's blood – it left a huge number of questions about the strange man from the shop, but it came in really useful when Dean got himself captured and Sam had to fight his way through to set him free – there isn't much a vampire can do when it's screaming in pain, and the blood seemed especially potent. Archangel mojo can come in very useful.
The last time that Gabriel had actually spoken to Sam was just after when Sam had stormed out on Dean and his dad to try and lead a normal life. Truth be told, Gabriel had been expecting it to happen for a while, but it just made him pity Sam when he actually did it – he could never really leave this life, and Gabriel knew it, but he wasn't going to begrudge the boy a few years of happiness first.
Sam was sat at an empty bus stop with a couple of bags, waiting for a bus to take him into his new life, when Gabriel appeared, this time disguised by an enormous hooded coat – it was raining, after all.
"You look deep in thought." He commented, sliding down to sit next to Sam.
This time, Sam didn't jump, he just sighed, running a hand through his slightly unruly hair.
"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing." He said simply, glancing at Gabriel through his fringe.
"D'you want to talk about it?" Gabriel asked, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket. Sam frowned at the gesture, almost like he recognised it.
"It's just – I've always been with Dean, on the road, looking out for him as he looks out for me. It feels wrong to be leaving him. I don't care about leaving dad, but Dean – it feels kind of like betrayal."
"Who is Dean, your brother or something?" Gabriel played innocent, twirling his tongue around the lollipop and looking at Sam.
Sam seemed to remember that he was talking to a stranger. "Yeah, he's my brother. We're pretty close, although he can be a jerk at times."
Gabriel laughed. "All brothers are like that. But you have to let go eventually and go your own way."
It probably wasn't the advice that he should be giving Sam, but he found himself wanting to make the sort-of kid happy.
Sam gave a small smile. "Yeah, I guess."
Gabriel stuck his hand in his pocket and fished out a second lollipop. "Do you want one?" He asked, holding out his hand.
Sam smiled to himself and took it. "Thanks. You know, I don't know if it's something about me, but strangers seem to like handing me sweets. Not drugged ones or anything, just normal ones. I don't even normally have a sweet tooth."
Gabriel gasped in mock horror. "You don't have a sweet tooth? Seriously, kiddo, how is that even possible?"
Sam laughed at the expression on Gabriel's face. "I just like eating healthily, that's all."
Gabriel shook his head in disapproval, removing his lollipop from his mouth so he could talk. "Madness, that is, kiddo. Utter madness."
There was a pause. "It's Sam," Sam suddenly interjected. "Not kiddo. Sam."
Gabriel smiled. "Well, nice to meet you, Sam the health-freak. You can call me... Loki."
"Loki? Like the Norse god?" Sam questioned, sounding intrigued.
Gabriel laughed. "Yes, very much like the Norse God."
"Your parents were into mythology then?" Sam asked.
Gabriel thought around for a plausible lie, before deciding to tell the truth. He probably wouldn't be seeing the kid for a while now that he was getting out of hunting – not until Azazel started his plan.
"I don't know about my dad, but the rest of my family hates Norse mythology – they're super religious. I called myself Loki, it wasn't given to me. It's easier, though, going by that."
"Do you not get one with your family?"
Gabriel sighed. "I love my family but it's so messed up I just can't handle it. I haven't seen any of them in ce – years. Haven't seen them in years." Gabriel inwardly cursed at the almost slip-up.
Sam didn't seem to notice. "I know the feeling." He said softly.
Silence fell again and Gabriel sucked on his lollipop, pulling out another one when he finished the first. He heard Sam laugh.
"You weren't lying about being a sugar fanatic." Sam commented.
Gabriel shrugged easily. "What can I say, I love sweets. It's not like it shows or anything." He gestured to his body, hidden by the massive coat, and Sam rolled his eyes, smiling.
"Do you know what time the bus is actually supposed to get here?" Sam asked.
Gabriel laughed – he had almost forgotten that they were at a bus stop. He glanced over at the timetable.
"Well, the timetable says five minutes, but in a rough area like this, who knows."
Sam sighed, pulling his jacket closer around him.
"You cold, Sammy?" Gabriel questioned.
Sam looked up and glared. "Don't call me that."
"Sorry... Sammykins?"
He received another bitch-face.
"Sammyboy?"
Another glare.
"Moose?"
Sam looked appalled, then burst out laughing. "Where did that come from?"
Gabriel shrugged, smiling. "Moose it is. It just suits you."
Sam shook his head, clearly still amused. "I don't see what's wrong with just Sam. But whatever. Yes, I am cold – I haven't got a fricking enormous coat wrapped around me."
Gabriel laughed. "True, that... you do have what looks like your entire wardrobe at your feet though, you must have another jacket."
To Gabriel's surprise, Sam shook his head. "I don't... we never had that much money, and I only needed the one."
Gabriel's eyebrows rose. He had never realised, in all his years of watching, just how poor Sam Winchester was.
Deciding that he may as well screw the disguise – he was basically pouring out his life story anyway – he took off the coat and held it out to Sam.
"Here, Moose, take it. I'm not cold anyway, and it sounds like you need it."
Sam frowned. "I'll be fine." Then recognition flashed through his face. "So it is you..."
"Come again?" Gabriel feigned innocence.
"The man at the park, when I was really young – a toddler – I barely remember. You gave me a lollipop. I think I saw you when I was older as well. Are you following me around?"
"What? Of course not, stalking a kid's just weird." Keeping an eye on one for his own safety was much more excusable. "I might have seen you before, but I don't remember you – to be honest, kids tend to be quite fond of guys who are always eating sweets, and they all merge together. I think I'd remember you, anyway."
Wait, why had he said that? Gabriel barely felt in control of his own words any more.
Sam noticed the phrase as well, but said nothing. Instead, he gratefully reached down and grabbed the enormous coat.
"Is this going to fit me? No offence, but you're kind of short."
"We can't all be tall, muscular freaks of nature, Moose! But that was too big on my anyway, it should fit." Or rather, angel mojo would make it fit.
"Muscular?" Sam almost sounded teasing as he pulled the coat over his shoulders, sticking the hood up for extra warmth.
Gabriel reached over and prodded one of Sam's biceps. "Definitely."
Sam gave a slightly weird look at Gabriel, and it was only then that he realised that he was practically flirting. With a teenager. Who had demon blood.
"Anyway, Moose, this bus is taking forever so I think I'm gonna dash. Maybe see you around?"
He must be imagining things – it almost looked like Sam's face fell in disappointment.
"Yeah, maybe. Thanks for the coat."
"Don't mention it." Gabriel smiled, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a Twix bar. "Here, take this. Everyone's gotta have some sweets every now and again."
Sam laughed, but took the chocolate and stuck it in his own pocket. "Thanks again."
"Take care, Sam." Gabriel was more serious with that statement – he really hoped that the boy would be okay for a couple of years at least. Before his life fell apart again.
Sam blinked at the seriousness. "Yeah... you too.."
Gabriel smiled one last time before trudging away, only going a few steps before flying off.
So that was the real reason that Gabriel did everything for Sam Winchester. When they had first met he had been intrigued, and as the boy grew up, he had felt a greater and greater kinship – a kinship that had threatened to almost turn into attraction. That was why he had tried to help him, in his quirky little way, and that was why he had died for him in the end.
It was also why God planned to resurrect him, when the time was right – Sam Winchester needed someone else to care for him, now more than ever, and while Gabriel wasn't perfect, deep down, he had a good heart. A heart that would look out for Sam.
Yes, as you can see from the ending I really want Gabriel back... hmm, I already have ideas for a possible sequel. Maybe. Please review with your comments on everything and PM me if you have any queries! Thanks