"So here it is, welcome to the party." I followed my blonde friend AJ inside her huge house filled with bunch of loud, drunk people. We were passing them, going further inside, almost every guy greeting her with a kiss on a cheek, girls hugging and squealing hi. It made me feel uncomfortable. Them strangers dancing, rubbing one against another, cursing, drinking hard alcohol, although I'm pretty sure most of them are underage. This isn't my thing, partying. In such a vulgar way especially. No adults around giving them permission to do whatever. I can't say it isn't attracting in some way either, taking a bite of the forbidden apple. But I guess I wouldn't feel fine to flirt with someone I barely know nor furthermore, just like they do. "So I'll go say hi to a couple of people outside, you go check the place if you want to. Feel free to do whatever." Amanda tapped my shoulder and I nodded, well instructed. AJ is a shortcut of her full name just so you know. I am so going to skip the most crowded places. It's not that I am antisocial or anything, just not my type of a party and I seriously wouldn't appreciate to be disturbed by any drunk guy. If asked to name only one thing here, that I could honestly approve? I'd say music, enjoyable to my liking.
I took a walk around the back of that enormous house, inspecting anything I found interesting, which is a lot! Many fancy little stuff, doors and more doors. In my plan, I wasn't going to run through each room, peeking was enough satisfying option. The song playing at the moment captured my thoughts with its lyrics. Words started swimming through my mind,
Just wanna find you,
wanna find you
I know your love will set me free
Just wanna find you,
wanna find you
I need your love to believe.
It put me into a scavenger hunt mood, as message kind of paired with my actions, not literally though. I passed the stairs and went deeper into the empty hallway. There, another door on my way. I pushed the handle down and them lightly forward, welcoming dim light to my eyes, a different song to my ears. Something I'm familiar with, Whispering by Alex Clare. Music was softly echoing through the air, leading a figure... dancing in the brightest corner of this huge place - some sort of a dance studio I guess? Rare thing it is. I slid my head inside, intrigued by ongoing show and watched her travel across the dance floor. All these smooth jazz moves, beautifully expressing pain and anger, got me hooked. And that girl, especially her I found myself absorbed in. A girl with curly, medium length, blond hair, tied in a messy ponytail, taller than me, most likely because I'm pretty short. I entered fully, totally not bothering how rude this may be and so I leaned my back against the wall. She kept going, probably not aware that pair of eyes were following her every step. I was really enjoying how cool this choreography was done, polished in every detail. The girl seems to be well trained, with perfectly shaped body too. She herself seems perfect but as she stayed in motion, I couldn't capture her face in focus. Instead, my eyes were chasing after her wavy curls, how they were brushing across her face and flying the opposite ways she was moving. So oddly captivating. When the song's elision was hitting its end, she threw them down, signing the bent position she finished with. It felt like this hot, sensual, almost erotic performance has brought me into some sexy, psychological movie scene, which started meanly playing with my mentality. The skin on her arms was shining from sweat, reflecting that dim, warm glow... and eventually her face began to appear. Strands of hair slowly moving to sides of that- oh so beautiful face. I was standing there, staring, with my mouth slightly open. Unrealistic my mind whispered, whole her, that amazing creature. She is ideal! Or so I thought, until I connected my sight with hers. A powerful lightening-strike-alike feeling overpowered my whole body as it hit me, that this missing thing which of every human being is looking for, was right in front of me.
"Hey uhm can I help you?" My daydream was disturbed quickly, as I realized, she was aiming her attention at me, supporting her upper body against her knees. Crap! My presence has been exposed.
"No, I- I'm sorry? Don't bother yourself." I turned to the side, ready to leave but just then? She started slowly jogging toward me. Double crap!
"Wait! Is there a chance that I know you?" Her pleading, panting voice stopped me from escaping. It made me feel like she fought the lack of air in her lungs just so she could ask this question in time.
"No, I don't think so." I shook my head and smiled politely, pressing my lips into a tight line. Her eyes lit up immediately and a smile has been returned back to me. I don't know, it was so adorable, the face she made, as if I did something meaningful, something unspoken yet telling. My heartbeat quickened and I started growing nervous. This girl is intimidatingly pretty.
"Epic conversation." She snickered, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Yes, like if we were a movie." Seriously? Why did I say that?
"Exactly." Her eyes dropped down while the chuckle she let out, caused a shiver to ran through my spine. Am I making it awkward? She is trying to make conversation and I just like can't communicate with her, because in my mind she is- Jesus Christ! You can't have a conversation with Jesus Christ, you just go speechless. No- erase that, my mind must've been injured I think. She's female, not anything other than my sex. She is my sex! Maybe I should just leave? But truthfully, I couldn't get more comfortable standing on the opposite of someone like her. The blonde goddess cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at me and also pointing a finger. "So how did you end up in here?"
"I was just exploring." I answered honestly, lowering my sight afterwards. I became a little ashamed of my flippancy, I wasn't in my own house, unlike her, I could tell.
"You must be AJ's new friend then." To my surprise, she seemed positive and well informed as well. I looked back up, crinkling my nose in disbelief. How does she know that?
"I guess yeah." Her eyebrows rose and she tapped the tip of her nose with her index finger, conspiratorially, very proud of herself. I couldn't help and let loose of a growing laughter. Smart! She bit on her bottom lip then, not moving her eyes off me. I locked that connection and quickly found myself sucking on my own lip, chewing angrily to hold on that breathtaking excitement. Our gazing was intense and my mind started whispering to me things I should be embarrassed of. The time slowed down. Felt like eternity in slow motion, until suddenly, my left arm was abruptly hit with door. I whined out of pain, automatically jumping away. What the hell!?
"Oh here you are, I've been looking for you everywhere." AJ's cloudy face appeared to us and it brought me back to earth again. Right! I totally forgot about her! But still, that pain! Seeing this situation, curly hair cutie immediately stepped in, touched my sore arm and protectively moved me aside. The feel of her skin on mine nearly knocked the breath right out of my chest, as all of a sudden, I experienced a tingly shudder flowing down my body. Well that's odd. What just happened? I watched her standing between me and AJ and just then, I realized how tall she really is! I'm guessing 5.8 feet ish? Comparing to my 5.3? Yeah. Wearing a black, loose, sideboob visible tank top on, which was teasing my eyes. How much I would want to learn what's hidden underneath, I thought... but that'd be weird right? Her back I was facing mostly but still, I could see the side of her face, which was turned to the other blonde leaned against the door frame.
"Are you guys having, like beer only?" She raised a suspicion and pierced her eyes at Amanda. Standing so close to me, that her heavenly scent reached my sense of smell. Every little thing accentuating her perfection, narcotizing whole me by the way.
"Of course, don't you worry, I've got everything under control." Tall girl then added crossed arms and oh-really glare confrontation.
"Right." Yeah, AJ didn't fool her and the movement she answered with, brought my attention back to her gorgeous curls. I ended up squeezing my hand into a fist, because something about them was making my palm all itchy. Believe it or not, I had my mind fogged with the idea of running my fingers through them, to try and feel them under my touch. My mind is sick!
"So, I see you met my sister." Buzzed blonde turned to me then, ignoring the hottie anyways. Wait. She's AJ's-
"Sister?" I snapped my eyes back to the tall one, same time as she choose to look at me over her shoulder. Her face flashed me that pretty smile again, causing my stomach to flutter so badly. Sisters, I could've seen this coming, obviously!
"Yeah Allison, this is my sister Alyson." AJ waved her hands through the air in an introducing manner. "Confusing huh?" That smile, it felt strangely pleasing, holding my cheek muscles in a horribly long lasting cramp.
"Just Aly." Aly, her voice sounds so enjoyable. So beautiful and same sexy.
"Sonny." I replied, scanning her features and saving them in my memory card. From up close I noticed the vintage beauty mark she has right beside her lips. And how amazingly remarkable her eyes are. In a shade of a light green, momentarily transparent even, simply everything when they connect with mine.
"Nobody told me there's a shortcut for your name." AJ mutter-complained, distancing her glassy glare away. Although it was funny I didn't get distracted from Aly who moved back to my right side, rolled her eyes and playfully shook her head on her sister's childish whine. She's like a work of art I can't look away from. A thing to admire.
"AJ babe? Are we playing hide and seek? Come and get out!" We heard some guy's singing voice calling in the hallway which made Amanda liven up like a kid in a toy store.
"I'll be right with you!" She answer-yelled back and one more time gave us her attention. "I have to get back there. You know, that impatience." She hissed playfully. "You going, staying?" Was that meant to me? I blinked rapidly, realizing that it of course was. I didn't have any answer prepared. I don't know? Yes? I may not? No, I'd rather stay? See what might happen- holy! Did I just think that?
"I-?" Words got stuck in my mouth, confused with my thinking marathon. It made her chuckle, very amused actually. What's so funny? And why am I losing control over myself?
"Watch over your guard around her then." I furrowed my brows.
"Why?"
"AJ!" Aly, the curly hair cutie growled annoyed, understanding her sister's overtone.
"She's homo, she may eat you like a cookie. Cause you're pretty." When I fully registered the entire statement, out of numbness I couldn't even tell of how much my face fell. She's- She's gay? And so pretty? Being pulled by super strong gravity, I fixed my eyes almost ninety degrees to my right, to her. My just created fantasy is slowly arising, when it should stay where it came into existence... and her looks ain't helping at all!
"AJ!" Aly raised her voice, checking on me carefully. Amanda only swayed in front of us, holding on the door frame still.
"What? That's a truth, my sis is a full faced lesbian and she hunts those sugar trains you're driving in." Hold it! Rewind it. Me pretty? And driving a what? What the hell does that even mean? "Aly look at her face!" They both observed my reaction, as I step by step was getting dizzier. What is happening! "I'm just kidding, she wouldn't hurt a fly." AJ snorted with laughter and next? Closed the door behind her, left, just like this. As dumbfounded as I was, I still managed to sneeringly mock her stupid heehaw but I was way too confused to put myself together. We were standing there in silence, me looking down at my feet, Aly probably feeling same uncomfortable. I honestly became insecure. Why on earth did I have to walk on a girl who happens to be a goddess! Who simply swept me off my feet! I'm a girl and I'm experiencing this unusual pull towards her which is indescribable. I mean, she's attractive as in there's-no-existence-of-a-word-that-would-enough-describe attractive and for God's sake! I'm straight! Which now feels like a lie... aren't I? Is this some sort of gay irresistibility those people have or what? I've spent here about ten minutes and for this very moment I know, I'm entirely trapped.
"Well that's it for introduction." I opened my once closed eyes again, woken up by that tone Aly used, subdued, daunted. I didn't mean to make her feel that way. My own personal issues caused this awkward silence, not any of those affective jokes Amanda made of us two.
"Wasn't that bad." I tried with a wrinkled nose smile, hoping my weak comforting skills will do the work.
"No, Not at all." The sarcasm, there, she needs a little more of convincing.
"Your dance moves said a lot by itself." I fully turned to her, putting my swag smirk on. Aly looked away and finally, in the corner of her lips the sun started coming out of clouds.
"Thanks, I guess." She moved her eyes back to mine and they were all sparkly, a huge, adorable grin emphasizing their loveliness. What is it about that smile that I can't look away? "How about you Sonny? You dance?" Oh? No I don't like where this is going.
"No, I suck really bad. I look better watching." I tried.
"You do okay but why not give it a try?" That intense, coquettish gaze she was giving me, as I read this right, for a brief moment almost persuaded me to answer the way she was hoping me to... but! I sobered, eventually saying what was right with me.
"No seriously, someone walking on me when my face hits the floor isn't a nice image."
"Here" Before I realized, before I managed to catch another chance to decline, she passed me and locked the door. "Problem solved. Now come on, I wanna see your moves." She didn't give me a single second for objection, as her hand slid into mine, forcing me to focus on my suddenly melting legs only. What is happening to me? Answers!
"Okay simply relax, we'll go slow." Aly was standing next to me and pointing to the mirror. The way she said it, I was blushing already, even before screwing the entire thing up. Dare you my dirty thoughts! "Relax. It's not like I have hidden cameras in here." Right. What? "Observe my reflection and whenever ready, follow." She began with the music and I did my part- which was noting of course. The tender sound of piano mixed up with flexible moves of hers, that movie thing happening agai- "Earth to you girl?" A sweet giggle buzzed through my head.
"Huh? Yeah okay." I whispered and turned myself into this dance. We did some parts together and I was trying to copy it the best I could. I must say I got hooked. I was enjoying it actually a lot but apparently not paying enough attention. Momentarily losing myself got me some trouble, as I mistakenly stepped the wrong way and bumped into her. Aly must've seen this coming and as prepared, she caught me by my arms, easing the impact. I still was going pretty fast though, so I crashed into her anyways. That feeling, I can't put it into words. Our bodies connected for the very first time and stayed that way, because I simply couldn't move away. It was stronger than me and froze me entirely. Instead to face her, I cowardly lowered my eyes, parking at her cleavage, holding myself steady by her waist still. She's so soft there, wow and that view in front of me? I'd sin regretting such stumbles. Aly leaned backwards, checking on me, making my situation potentially the worst ever. Her hips were pressing against mine in the process and my jaw dropped dead. Seriously, I had no control anymore.
"You okay?" Her hands sliding down a bit, eventually crossed my short sleeves and entered the exposed skin area.
"I uhm-" Shut down! I became speechless, mind locked. I was holding her and she was holding me, tenderly, her hands so warm, same way as her body radiating against mine. We were so close. She's a stranger yet my body's screaming with need to keep her exactly where she was.
"Sonny, you okay there?" Aly lowered herself to my face level, searching for my attention with these- beautiful- irises. I could feel her breath brushing my lips already. Those lips. No!
"I uh I'm-m sorry." I stuttered and stepped back, finally finding that power in me to escape.
"Are you kidding me? That was amazing!" She crossed her arms and with impression written in her expression, smiled broadly. My brows knitted as I got really confused at that point. She's talking about the dancing part right?
"I don't know if you've noticed but I just crushed into you."
"Yes you did but it also took you only a couple of minutes to master almost the whole thing. You've got skills."
"A memory."
"You know that's not just it." I know. This is so pathetic of me. I better let go.
"Thanks, I actually had a lot of fun. Comparing to that party, I guess" I pursed my lips, believing I should probably go back there as I was invited by Amanda in a first place. "Fuck." I turned my back to her and cursed so low only I could hear me.
"That's why I hide in here most of the time. AJ doesn't have normal friends, before even party begins, people are already wasted." Through the mirror I glanced at her again, realizing we both have that opinion in common.
"Join me then, you seem sober and actually normal." Aly was staring at my back, as my eyes had her as a target. Her enigmatic expression made me feel uncomfortable, then sick in the stomach even. Let her say something already!
"You're pretty normal yourself." But there's a but right? Visibly she was still searching through her mind, focusing her sight away and just when I was nervously panting already, her eyes met my reflection. "Yes, I'd like that." Really? "-but? I have to change first." Bubble of that rising tension burst finally, leaving me happy and dry.
"Right of course." I nodded rapidly, understanding what I'm supposed to do. "So I'm just gonna-" I gestured to the door, announcing that I'll wait elsewhere but once again, she didn't let me finish. Muting me entirely, she gently took my hand into hers, interlocking her fingers with mine.
"Come upstairs with me." All my ears registered was a seductive murmur which probably didn't even happen. My mind creates so many meanings of anything she does or says, too many wrong ideas of meanings, which eventually leads me to confusion, like this time.
"So where are you from Allison aka Sonny?" Aly opened her closet as I sat on the bed in front of her.
"Wisconsin." Her room in a deep, brick-red color painted, mixed with black accents every here and there. The entrance on the right from me, a big, dark brown closet with a pair of bifold door in front of the bed, as I already have mentioned. The bed covered with black sheets and lots of matching pillows, every little thing wearing a print of her fragrance.
"Cool I'm from Michigan, born in Germany originally." Aly briefly turned to me, in a mystery way rekindling the fire in my chest. How the hell is she so beautiful? I feel awkward with myself.
"Oh." She turned back away from me again and my eyes immediately glued to her palms, realizing what they were about to do. Its fingers hooked under the hem of her shirt and pulled it up. At that point I couldn't be any less discreet, as I wasn't even peaking. She was undressing on my eyes and I was following the show very carefully. Every single inch of her exposed skin, until that violet bra appeared to me. My mind was spinning, part of it rebelling against the concept of thinking of a woman in that way, but another part reveling in the excitement of the foreign and forbidden. I fucking don't understand anything anymore.
"Yeah, I was less than one year old when my parents moved to States and here Amanda was born. No other siblings from then on. When I was four and AJ two, we settled here." She suddenly turned to me fully and I snapped my head away so quickly, I'm surprised I didn't end up with whiplash.
"Like main story in one pill." I replied, still looking elsewhere. I should start blushing, maybe that would teach me a lesson! Catching my attention with her motion, Aly flashed to my left, stopping herself next to some other clothes she had laying on the armchair. The room wasn't messy as I may have pictured it. It was the exact opposite, clean and so comfy. I know that second thing doesn't have a thing to do with tidiness but I don't care. Aly rolled through a few t-shirts that didn't seem to fit her and threw them on the bed.
"What's your story Sonny?" My story? Okay. My main focus first. Don't look in her direction please.
"Well, I was born and raised in Wisconsin." I started, observing how her picking process was coming to an end. She pulled out another shirt from the very bottom of the pyramid of probably freshly washed clothes and decided to put it on.
"Any siblings?" Her hands stretched above her head, revealing that sexy sideboob in its fuller glory.
"No I'm the only child." I lowered my eyes quickly, both, running away from the dangerous view and summing how uninteresting my life is. I couldn't gather my thoughts into something cool to share with her, despite the fact of hard brainstorm going on. I missed anything she was doing in the meantime, still thinking and working this out, until the seat next to me wasn't empty anymore. I glanced over at her to learn, that my face was being scanned. That awkward silence...
"Are you okay?" Are my own thoughts so loud?
"Yes." I gritted my teeth nervously, waiting what else may surprise me. Aly nodded only and pushed herself up, moving back to the closet. I sighed relieved, placing my attention to what was happening in front. The picture started changing so fast, one thing, another and in a split second her leggings flew down her legs. It's like if she was doing it with purpose. Why not treat me with a stunt gun already? My damaged breathing became louder, when she reached for something to the upper shelf. That shirt lifted up a bit and I just then noticed those back dimples. This is like the hottest level of hotness! Aly slid her toned legs into a pair of black, ripped jeans then and pushed them up, turning back to me. "How old are you?" I asked, hardly turning my own attention from her physical side.
"I'm nineteen, how about you?" No. Nineteen?
"Uhm sixteen." Involuntarily, I pushed my eyes down, the angle letting me to only see how she stepped into her black, combat boots.
"Really?" Yeah just point it out already. I'm a kid for you. Damn this whole thing. "You don't seem to be at all." My sight as called, bounced back to her, me unbelievably stunned that she didn't rub it in. Isn't it a deal? What the hell? "So tell me now, what are you doing in California?" Is it some sort of an opposite day today? Aly grabbed her cargo jacket in both hands and sat next to me, awaiting the answer.
"School?"
"Which school?" A straight lip line was replaced with a sweet smile and I went on. No matter how irritating my short answers may be, she still keeps going. That trait saves my situation each time and I like it.
"Lincoln's Educational Facilities."
"What major?" Smile breaking into a soft grin.
"Music major." She's unbelievable. "I've got a scholarship." I whispered and her eyes widened.
"Wow, so you must be a geek." Oh now you're mocking me?
"I worked for this very hard." I announced very proudly.
"I bet. It's not easy to get there. They have the best schooling programs on this side of a country." Well informed, as usual.
"Yeah and the longest dorm awaiting lists." I whined.
"Doesn't scholarship provide a room?" Aly fixed herself then to face me better.
"No, not here. They offer many majors as well as courses for both high school and college classes, there's no place for dorms for so many... and I'm on a checklist."
"So where are you staying?" The ice has been broken and our conversation started floating freely in no time.
"A rental apartment in San Fernando area." Aly's eyes flickered between mine as she got a satisfying set of information about me. Should be my turn shouldn't? "I see you have plenty of music stuff around you." I decided to take a little tour around her bedroom. "Three guitars, piano" In which I am in love with. I ran my fingers along the instrument's keys. "Music sheets." I added up another related thing, moving closer to the window which was situated in the furthest corner from the entrance. "Looks like a big deal here." I turned back around to see her standing behind me.
"It's just a hobby." Alyson whispered, her fingers lightly creasing the sheets I mentioned before.
"You probably sing too?" Just-a-little hand gesture was the only answer I got and I couldn't help not to go on. "I'm not falling for that." Her eyes found my stare, that adamant face cracking up slowly, pointing out my obstinacy.
"Maybe I'll play for you someday." Okay two things forced my mouth to open when she spoke up, a someday involved and second, craftily skipped thing.
"I didn't ask about playing!" I followed all giggly girl outside her room then, leaving the topic closed inside.
I stepped off the last stair, diving into a crowd of people... again. I was washed back over with this uncomfortable feeling which blinded my attention and I immediately got lost. I pushed through a few guys but I couldn't spot her, neither any freer space to take a breath. The music changed into some dance rhythm of Sia's and my whole surrounding started jumping up and down. Move your body is just a lyric people, it's not a freaking concert! Like a huge unbreakable wall they were, impossible to pass. Shit. My defensiveness was to back up to the nearest wall wherever that could be. At that point I was scared, scared that I could get injured. They were too close, not paying any attention. Someone bounced at me, pushing me at someone else and then I was grabbed by my left arm. That's a jungle! I froze in panic, not caring that that hand was still on mine.
"Here you are." I heard and prayed it was meant to me. "Come on." My right palm was covered with warm hand from behind and it got safer immediately. I already knew it was her, though I couldn't turn around to confirm. It was too tight between those people. She pulled on my arm, leading me backwards. The space I was once occupying disappeared in a snap and each of my steps got faster as they started moving our way. When the situation reached its climax, I jumped out through the door way and some huge guy immediately blocked my vision.
"Holy shit!" I hissed, curling in between her arms. I entirely ignored the fact that we were outside already and that I was cuddling my back to her, totally blown away.
"Are you okay?" That angelic voice whispered to my ear and I sighed with relief.
"That was intense." I blurted out, straightening up.
"Yeah it's the music. I thought they'll crush you." Oh God, I thought same thing too, trust me. "Come on, let s sit down." I nodded weakly, taking the last look of that zoo.
"Where you and AJ know each other from?"
"Community service." I replied honestly but carelessly, instead focusing on everything that was around us. We were sitting in Aly's backyard, deeper on the white bench situated few meters away from the pool which was separating us from house. The animals were still partying hard and I could finally rest my eyes on something else, as they were far enough. Many shrubs and bushes lightened by cool white net lights surrounding that part of a garden, were creating very romantic scenario.
"Oh, so you're that bad ass!" Hmm? I got my mind back to her, summing this conversation together.
"No, I wouldn't say that." I blushed, apprehending Aly knows the dark side of my story. "We passed the speed limit way too much, it would be weird if they didn't pull us over." I corrected what she's just told me, trying to look the least rebel.
"But you pushed that cop." Dumbfounded, I faced her instantly. Why does she know that, it's totally out of context.
"He threw me off-balance with what he said to us." Alyson left it with an understanding pause and eventually nodded.
"Okay."
"I took it personally." As awkward as it got again, she pushed all that aside and continued.
"So you've learnt a little about each other then."
"Just a tiny bit I guess, it's been three weeks only." And AJ's rather observing me instead of talking.
"I bet, it's my sister's thing. Programmed not to bond or empathize." I smirked, finding it very adequate to reality. Sisters but both totally different. Aly seems to be very empathetic and politely absorbed into my story. This is very attractive I gotta admit. "Have anyone showed you around yet?"
"No not really, I don't know many people around here." A long unheard screams became louder, forcing our sight in its direction. A group of guys, with trapped girl on top of that human platform approached the pool, gaming to throw her in. Brainless idiots.
"You know me now." I snapped my thoughts back to Aly but still both we kept watching the show.
"Is this an offer?" More people ran out of the building and one after another started jumping into the water. Then some squealing barbies also.
"Maybe?" And some more of them and I got bored eventually, deciding to entirely focus on our conversation. "Damn someone please help me overpower this noise!" I giggled, admiring her cuteness. She's adorable. "Did AJ bring you over?"
"Yeah" I nodded, trying to spot the place she was looking at.
"I wouldn't count on the way back then." A helpful finger gesture directed my sight to no one else but Amanda... in the pool, having undeniably lots of fun. My expression fell, as I found myself totally stood up. "Don't worry Sonny, I'll drive you home." Aly bestowed me with a warm, protective offer, gaining even more trust points.
"Thank you." She's a life saver.
"No one has a problem that you're here this late hour?" Does she really, like truly care?
"I don't think so, my mom stayed in Wisconsin. She's an artist so she needs to be in her own four walls you know? She lives in a different world." A blindly, closed world where even I can't reach her.
"Anyone else?" I thought for a second, eventually coming to conclusion that she must've meant a possible second parent, as I didn't mention no one.
"No, it's just her. I don't have a father." Aly accepted that with another understanding nod, politely letting go to ask.
"So nobody's waiting for you right now?"
"Exactly." In seconds, my answer became incomplete to my own perception, as something else was knocking to the door. I narrowed my eyes curiously, finding suspiciousness in that returning question. "Why?"
"Do you have a couple of hours free maybe? Like any plans for tomorrow?" Tomorrow's Sunday right?
"Uhm no, I guess not." My forehead crinkled, following the thinking process.
"Okay come on then, I wanna show you something." Aly stood up, blocked my front view and held out a hand, sending me an encouraging look.
"Like now?" I spat, questioning credibility of my words same time, as I reached out for her.
"Yeah come on."
Aly took me to their garage, avoiding the crowd best she could. Holding my hand this entire time, so she wouldn't lose me out of sight again. I don't mind at all. I became comfortable with it. "AJ's seriously messing with neighbors again." She hissed cynically, pointing out a curfew hour. Seems like her sister's insuppressible. We entered the dark room, closing the door behind us. The loud party noise muffled immediately and I could again hear my own thoughts. "Wait, I need to find that switch." Aly mentioned, stepping away.
"Uhm by any chance, is it a rope pull?" I threw to the darkness.
"Yeah, did you find it already?"
"It's hanging right in front of my face." I pulled the twine down and there was light. Aly cracked, realizing it was indeed brushing my nose with its end. "Yeah" I added ironically and moved to the side. Beside Amanda's motorcycle, which I had opportunity to see before, there was a stunning, black, Chevrolet Camaro, probably forty years old version.
"Okay, hop in. When the door opens we can hit the road."
"That's your car?" I blurted out, not believing my eyes. It's a beautiful machine... and a beautiful person owns it? What spell did I say to get into this dream?
"Mhm, come on it's past midnight, I need to show you something." I've known her for, what, two hours? And everything she says I am ready to believe in and follow. That convincing her nature is. So I followed also this time. We got inside the car and soon set off.
Twenty minutes later we had Toluca Lake far behind but as I am not familiar with Los Angeles area, I had no idea where we were. Aly was driving quietly, leaving me with so many doubling questions. What might be the idea in her head?
Another few minutes has passed and the car slowed down, taking a turn towards a gas station afterwards.
"In case you need a toilet, just carry on. It'll take me a few to refuel." As she mentioned, a need appeared suddenly and I of course used that card. I got out of the car, immediately crushing into a cool breeze. Half an hour ago I saw people swimming in a pool and now it's cold all of a sudden? We were at the end of September and California weather for now seems tricky to me.
I took a short time in ladies room, cleverly quickening through the situation as the WC wasn't in a satisfying condition.
"I think I've been followed." I spoke up after returning, to get some of Aly's attention.
"Don't say?" As awaken as she got, I thought she'd be ready to beat up anyone who happens by. That's strange?
"Yea I wouldn't go there if I were you."
"I didn't think it through, otherwise I'd escort you." She replied, still busy with the car. In my eyes she seemed so protective, someone who makes you feel comfortably safe with. It must be her thing I guess. I'm surely not an exception.
I walked around the car, having another moment with this amazing vehicle again. I could imagine myself getting used to driving it every day. It would make a better of each. I eventually got back to where Aly was, finishing with lean against the hood. My eyes inspected the counter, wondering how long this may still take.
"What's the fuel consumption of this car?"
"Twenty-one liters." I snapped my eyes to her, calculating things in my head. "Why?" I then glanced down, noticing another suspicious thing.
"You refueled full seventy liters tank and a ten liters canister." Aly furrowed her brows at me, smirking smugly, probably coming to conclusion why such statement.
"Okay?" She still tried me though.
"That's for more than two hundred and thirty miles drive." I was given a short lasting impressed look only as she then turned away from me toward the building.
"You're a one short smartass you know?" I could hear before Aly's back disappeared inside. I don't like to be uninformed and here she'll totally ignore me. It was written in that glare.
"Where are we going?" I took yet another try and broke the dead silence that was lifting above our heads ever since we left the gas station.
"You'll see." That big secret, why is it such a big secret anyway?
"It seems like a long drive ahead." I decided to play oblivious, hoping she'd share some hints.
"But the place is totally worth it." Crap!
"Which is?" Don't you think I'll give up that easily.
"Why would I tell you and spoil all the fun?" Aly briefly flickered her eyes off the road to fully look back at me. "Take that scare off of your face please." The tone was highly bothered.
"I'm not scared." I stood still with my statement, though I was aware, deeper underneath I indeed was scared... just a little.
"Right." And apparently, same aware was she, at some point proving to me, that she might be able to read me better than I myself do.
"My flesh creeps every so often." Yeah, sometimes it's better to let go, especially when you already are at lost position.
"I'm not a rapist if that's what you're afraid of." I glanced over at her, to meet the honesty in her eyes.
"I believe you." I nodded. "I don't think the rapist would keep telling me they're not a rapist. They'd just rape me."
"Eventually" Aly whispered dramatically, trying to build that theatrical tension. I stayed my sight at her, imagining that possibility. The more I thought, the more I saw it unrealistic. It eventually led to a burst of laughter, as I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"I'm sorry, I just can't picture that." As sarcastic as I was, she either way joined, finding it same amusing.
I checked my phone for time, after who knows how long drive. 2:11am it read, letting me know it's been about two hours. The vision behind the window wasn't clear, as it was drizzling. Still, I knew the darkness of night wouldn't uncover much. The most of what we've driven was through a highway and I didn't really pay attention but since Aly directed the car to an empty road, I again grew curious.
"You're not using GPA, you must know the path so well then. Or are going to pick a random place to do whatever." I mumbled out my thoughts, a bit tired to keep it in.
"I-" Aly started, having the answer at the tip of a tongue but again, realization pushed her guard up. "I see what you're doing there. You're trying to dangle inside information, get me talking. It's not gonna happen." That's funny how I have not even tried to do anything and almost succeeded with it.
"Am I that transparent?"
"Like liquid soap." Oh that's clever.
"Wow I should write this down."
"Damn it! I've missed another turn." Something other than the radio alarmed me to take a look in the driver's direction. I might have been tired but I kept Aly in check from time to time, just so she wouldn't fall asleep. Plus admiring her features.
"It's like the fifth one. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah I just get distracted that's all."
"That's a lot!" I chuckled sarcastically. "What distracts you to that point?"
"Nothing, can you pass me that Red Bull can? It's in the back." I did what she mentioned, following the instructions, extra opening it for her as a bonus.
"Thank you." I took a minute to observe her behavior then.
"You're sleepy." I summed, seeing how heavy her eyelids became.
"I'm fine." Aly tried to convince me, adding a smile for a better effect.
"Why are you distracted then." I pushed harder.
"Your presence."
"Aren't you used to drive with a passenger?" Is this even possible?
"It's not the thing."
"So what is?" Until now she should be already aware that I won't let go easily.
"It's just you-" Me? "-and that look you're giving me every so often. That distracts me." She started, pronouncing. "There! You see, stop doing that-" a dramatic wave of a hand filled the pause, "Face!" and she finally spat. I'm doing nothing wrong, she's just pleasing my eyes, that's all.
"It is distracting you?" I purposely started the game all over.
"Yeah."
"Maybe if you told me where-"
"Not a freaking chance." Damn!
Another hour I counted and noted a forest kind of area surrounding us for a longer period of time now.
"If you're sleepy you can nap." I yawned loudly, batting my lashes to somehow bring back the focus to my eyes.
"I'm good, I better check on you. After all, you're the one here driving and barely focusing."
"Ha ha, very nerdy observation, keep them coming." She gets adorable when you're pushing her buttons.
"Are you planning on murdering me and burying my dead body in this forest?"
"We'll see how the things go." The way she hooks into my every commentary. I can't get enough.
"Okay, I'm seriously looking forward to the future then."
"Hey." An angelic voice softly called out to me. It felt so peaceful with that silence and warmth hugging me from around. I was halfway sleeping, giving my eyes a break. "Open your eyes." No! Everything but not that. I stubbornly grimaced. Don't bring tension to my bubble please. "Come on." It whispered again, covering my forehead with Its tender touch. Oh that's much more convincing. I thought and lifted my eyelids up a bit. I was facing a huge tree, wide-huge. Holy hell! "You're back." I rolled my head to the left and in that darkness I felt Aly's presence.
"Where are we?" I whispered, still enjoying her hand on my head, sweetly stroking it with her thumb.
"At Sequoia." Those fingers gently moved into my hair and I breathed out any worry I ever had. I've never experienced such a good feeling. "The sun is awakening, do you wanna go see?" I gave a head nod as an answer, pushing forward a whole loads of following steps.
"You gotta stay close and keep quiet so we know there's no bear chasing us." Aly joked as we made an exit of the car on each of its side. I held my voice in, carefully moving towards her. "Here, wear this, it's chilly." My fingers inspected whatever I was given, finding it to be a nice, snuggly material. I pushed my bare arms inside the woolen cardigan sweater's sleeves and crossed them afterwards just so I could feel extra comfy. "Okay, let s go." Everywhere dark, though the sun was throwing some of Its beams here and there. The shadows of these big trees were the guilt. I was walking right after Aly as she knew where to lead. That sweater smells just like her. I smiled, hugging myself more into it. With each passed meter, it was getting warmer and brighter. We finally were stepping into the sunrise. "Here, hold my hand, it's gonna get slippery in places." I quickly accepted the idea, interlocking my fingers with hers. "Wow your hand's really cold." Aly stopped briefly, turning to me. Her palm immediately squeezed mine, stroking the uncovered skin with Its fingertips. "If you're cold tell me and we'll go straight back to the car."
"I'm good, really." Yeah, I was just a bit chilly but I now wanted to see what's at the end of that path. We moved forward again, leaving the trees to our backs as we stepped into a rocky edge. To my eyes appeared a view so breathtaking, I had to be held by someone anyways. The sky seemed entirely grey-blue but right with the horizon line, with very tops of sequoias, a hazy, yellow shade was setting in, parting the sky into two colors. A green valley from far, lightened by new morning. This entire beautiful landscape, I couldn't express the happiness it was causing. She was bringing. "It's like if we were at the end of the world." I whispered, cuddling my face against her arm.
"Hanging Rock leaves Its mark." She smiled with satisfaction, giving me some more time to live that moment. I watched, as the nature was coming back to life, ignoring the passing time. "Come on, let s take a seat." Aly nudged me lightly, just so I could catch up with the steps she had planned.
Some of that incredible time was behind us and I began noticing that Aly was getting more and more tired, fighting with attacking sleep. My reaction became necessary eventually as she's the driver.
"Aly, hey." It was already visible how her thinking abilities were damaged, as she didn't respond at sight. "You need some rest." I continued slowly, just so she fully caught up with what I was saying. "Come on, lay down." I ordered softly, not giving her a chance to disagree, as I reached for her arm, the one which was further away from me, to pull her over. There was no but, uncovering how much tired she really was.
Aly fell asleep in no time, giving me a chance to finally admire my surroundings without stressing out. Every single thing seemed so peaceful, yet full of life, beginning with her face. It was carrying a visible emotion of exhaustion and she was deeply dreaming. I have been gifted with so much of soothing harmony throughout that time, my past would never gather even a half of it. It gave me a reason to reevaluate life... I might actually need to rethink some aspects of my every day, gloomy adventure, because this amazing human here, is opening my eyes to a whole different side of world. Less scary and empty as it always seemed to be, more caring... loving.
Aly woke up after a short hour, becoming any more talkative. As the silence between us kept existing, I grew irritated with need of a topic.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" I spat awkwardly, demanding the idea to leave my system.
"At the time no." Aly paused after, looking over at me. "Are you with someone at the moment?" I rapidly shook my head.
"Have you been with a girl before?" I oddly continued as my curiosity was poking my brain. She raised her brows and bit on her bottom lip.
"Yes, I have, have you?"
"Me? No." I defensively denied, blushing deep red. I didn't see it coming right back at me. I glanced at her over my shoulder carefully then. Her eyes were angled toward my direction, that smirk she was holding, drilling through my soul. The look she was giving me screamed, as if she knew what I was thinking. "Would you say more?" I tried.
"It was a mistake."
"Why? I thought you were-" I pushed deeper digging probably way too much.
"She- was a mistake. I apparently was a faze for her."
"Wow I feel bad for you."
"We lasted three months and she hooked up with some dude. She wasn't even bi as far as I'm concerned." Poor thing.
"Seems like you need someone anything else than one hundred percent straight as your next choice."
"Yeah." She chuckled. "If you have someone in mind ring my bell." I'll keep that in mind.
There another silent moment has come and I was left with my own thoughts. Thinking and thinking, I should say something, shouldn't I? I peered at Aly out of the corner of my eye and well? I still had nothing. She was playing with a strand of her hair that was loosely laying on her shoulder. I'm loving these hair. Why does she make me feel that way? It is so irritating. I looked down at my palms. Maybe? Just maybe. I'm not entirely straight? But how can you crack that shell open. There has to be some way right? My confidence started growing as I glanced over at her again. I may take a shot, what am I loosing?
"Can I ask you a personal question?" I started, not waiting any longer. Aly's eyes popped up at me immediately.
"Sure, what is it?" Here we go...
"I was just wondering-" oh God, can't she look away! A wave of heat flooded over my insides. I can't be facing her when saying this. There goes my confidence. My eyes escaped any place else than her direction and started wandering aimlessly. Just go ahead! My mind hissed through its teeth at me. "How? Or when did you realize that you're into- you know- the... you know-" Shit, what a burn. Now I surely sounded immature, as a kid I am to her. No!
"Girls?" Please just don't laugh.
"Yes girls." Briefly I checked on her reaction. She had her lips pursed, searching for the answer in her head. There was no single laugh line on her face. Does that mean I'm taken seriously?
"Well? I guess I never had this attraction toward opposite sex you know?" Easy for you, I seem like torn between two directions! That is even more confusing. "I was thirteen I think, when I started realizing that I see things differently. But I kept it to myself. World is cruel, people gets judgmental, I- my school had a past with bullying homosexual teens so I preferred on staying in a shadow." Oh that's so depressing I think.
"Didn't you tell anyone?"
"At that time? No."
"Who was your first trusted one." Aly remained quiet for a while. That expression she had written on her face, puzzling. I couldn't read it. She was looking down at her intertwined fingers, the corner of her lips slightly twitching. As if from some sort of nerve, as if she wanted to say something but her mind wasn't ready. I must've hit a wrong string with this question. She made it obvious, there was a secret buried underneath. I was ready and set to let it go but I couldn't find proper words to pass through the growing awkwardness... and as of a listened request, I heard a muffled sound of a thunder somewhere far from us. I was given a help to push this conversation forward. "This place is breathtaking." I started, watching the landscape covered in fog in front of me, secretly glancing over at Aly. She looked up and smiled so weakly you could barely notice.
"It's been some time since my last time here, I used to come here a lot."
"How did you find out about this place?"
"A friend brought me here... once- one time." She corrected herself. "It became some sort of a special place." And then again her eyes dropped. Is it my fault she keeps closing herself up? I think there's no other way than asking.
"What is it?" I whispered calmly.
"Nothing." She took a few before answering back. Why do I care so much?
"Hey." I turned to her more and waited until she looked up. These eyes making my heart skip a beat. "So they shared their spot with you, they must've been attached." She smiled, puckering her lips with a tight squeeze.
"Ricky. His name's Ricky. Yeah he was my best friend ever."
"Why aren't you coming back with him anymore."
"I uhm- heh." She stuttered, chuckling uncomfortably. "It's difficult? I mean ugh that involves a longer story I guess? I wouldn't wanna bore you or anything." She wanted to say it, I could tell. And I wanted to learn her more.
"I've got time. Plenty of it, counting all the time needed to get back." She watched me carefully, saving my words and when the process was done, she nodded quickly.
"I better start over." Her eyes lowered as she swallowed a dry throat. "So one day, about a year and a half ago I guess, I had this shitty, humiliating episode in my high school. Let's just say that my sexuality has been questioned by some shallow bitches who couldn't survive a day without making someone's life miserable. And so I became their next target. There- were like- so many versions of that stupid gossip they've created, spreading speed of light fast I can't even remember what it said at the start. But? As usual they succeeded, turned another person down." Bullying that is, been there. "It really gotten to me, no one knew what the truth about me was beside me and me only at that point." Four years she kept it a secret? "I couldn't deny the rumors and defend myself because it was against everything I was. I ended up crying in my bed for the rest of the day, each and another eventually. I had a hard time accepting the fact I'm different myself, not to mention facing the truth in front of others. That seemed like the end of the world to me. Ricky was my only best friend I had, I shared all the secrets with him beside that one fact. He was two years older and wasn't attending to that same school... but somehow he always knew when It was kicking me in the guts. That day he came by to cheer me up. He was aware I wouldn't let go of it so easily so he convinced me to go someplace else than school the next day. He stayed the night and in the morning brought me here. We talked about random stuff, I remember how he was always trying to make me laugh, like turning the simplest, smallest things into a comedy just to make me smile." Aly's poker face seemed to becoming weaker as she continued. "I kept on having my lows so we started on talking it through. Anything of our conversation doesn't matter much now... Ricky, he decided to finally level with me so that... in the middle of my babbling he kissed me." Oh wow! "I was so caught out of guard I didn't even react back and simply let him do this."
"Is that the reason you're not friends with him anymore?"
"No, I mean that thing had an impact on what was going to happen but still I would never want to lose him. Now I know that but then, when we parted I made it clear that he just ruined our friendship. I was harsh. I wasn't thinking, clearly!" The next thing Aly did was a sarcastic chuckle. "I don't know why I'm telling you this." She looked away and started whispering so I wouldn't hear. "I never talked about it with anybody."
"Maybe you needed to let it out off your chest?"
"To a random person." She snapped back, irritated with herself.
"I won't say a word if you're worrying."
"I uhm I'm sorry, it came out wrong." Her face turned back to me, full of sincere apology. "It's just that- ugh well? The thing is that I find you worth of my trust. That confuses me cause I barely know you." Really? That's exactly how I feel about you!
"Your secret is safe with me." I assured her as she pursed her lips.
"He told me he was in love with me. The only thing I've never expected him to say." Her expression saddened immediately. "Like if my face came in contact with a wall. I was a bitch to him before and I still went on." Aly sighed, battling with her thoughts. "My dumbest choice of defense was to confess I was not into him that way. That I am gay. I let him know I loved him of course, but on a brotherly level and that nothing would change me as I am." She was projecting so much pain I myself waned to pull her into a comforting hug. "His response was a nod, only. The guilt which it left, hunts me till these days. He never knew I was gay and I was giving him so many false hopes. At the end of that day, when he drove me home, I asked him to call me so we could talk whenever the tension burns down? He never called me back." Aly swallowed hardly. "Never- answered his phone. Or showed up at my door... ever again." Her eyes became glassy. "After the weekend, on the Monday morning... that was a really rainy and cold day-" her voice got shaky and that vein on the forehead appeared, as her blood pressure was visibly raising. "There was a phone call, from his mom- that he hang himself." She nodded, looking down, becoming silent. Shivers, cold-shower alike, clawed down my spine and I got speechless. That must've been devastating. The fact how she unconsciously crashed him? And how guilty that must make her. "It's not a scar yet. But I got passed it somehow." Aly turned to me and smiled. "I was born this way and I can't help that opposites collides with it. I may have made some bad choices in my life but If I was to advice something-" Whoa, did she just see through me? "Don't rush yourself. You can always talk to people but not everyone understands. Acceptance is an entirely personal process." I listened, enchanted with everything she was saying, not hiding behind that shame curtain anymore. "Personally, the acceptance stage took me the longest as it is still new to me sometimes. I've been at figuring myself out thing for that past six years but I'm more and more comfortable with it now. It gets easier."
"When the doubts between sides ends then?" I broke my silence, desperate of information.
"Sometimes those doubts aren't what they seem to be."
"What do you mean?"
"We might as well be attracted to both genders in different measure. There are very few people that are actually fifty/fifty. You can have different sexual orientation and romantic orientation too, be sexually attracted to both but just want a romantic relationship with one gender. Bisexuality isn't normally equal." So as I gather all this into one, a solid solution appears. I've always thought that I was straight but maybe I'm not.
"You seem sure about yourself, though."
"I'm just into the type of person that doesn't grow hair on their face." That statement made me snicker. How the hell does she do that.
"So you're not into labels?"
"No, and I think you shouldn't stress that much about it either. Don't make it your priority... to label yourself." Aly then flashed her million bucks worth smile at me, making me feel a little confused.
"What?"
"It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately. It's about who you fall in love with."
As I know much more about Alyson till now, I stopped finding momentarily silence uncomfortable. We spent some more time up there, until eventually weather started to change its mood.
"It's drizzling." I commented, covering myself more with her sweater.
"I think it's time when we back away. It's getting slippery." Aly checked the rocky ground underneath her and got alarmed. "Okay, yeah it already is!" It hit me just then that the more I tried to move up, the more I was sliding down.
"Holy shit!"
"Okay don't panic, just crawl backwards." Right! I looked up to realize, she was already in a save zone. How the hell! "Here, come on." Aly tried to reach to me without stepping into the wet slope I was at. It didn't work.
"Please do something, I'm going down!" I yelled, begging for mercy. Every now and then I was briefly glancing behind me, praying to see a way out of situation. Aly got on her knees, reached forward as much as possible and grabbed me under my arms.
"Slowly, very slowly, start crawling." She instructed, pulling me into her. Thank God for a sober thinking of at least one!
My feet reached the sand, where I could feel save again and I breathed out the heaviness off my back. "That was. Something."
"Look how the rain falls down, it seems so light. Flies down like feathers." I got lost in it with a snap, forgetting about the past danger it caused.
"This peak is magical. I learn it all over again every single time I get here."
"How often is it?" I directed my sight at her.
"Seven times or so." within a year? "I never had anyone to share it with me though." I all over again fell victim to her undeniably sincere stare.
"Thank you... for showing me." She sent me a warm smile and nodded slightly.
"Let's get back to the car."
It took us another four hours to get back home. I instructed Aly where I lived and was safely dropped there. I however was really worried, as the level of Aly's energy was dangerously low and she still had about twenty minutes of driving ahead.
"Here, I hope you enjoyed that little kidnapping." She managed to make a loose joke, though she was hardly reacting.
"I did incredibly a lot but I have a favor to ask you." I took out my phone and handed it to her. "Could you let me know when you get back home? If you arrived safely." She took her time to familiarize with the question, taking the cell from me eventually. I observed how carefully she swiped her finger through it, adding her number in. She then pressed the dialing button and a vibration of her ringing phone echoed through the air. As the three signals passed, Aly hung up and turned the menu back to the default screen. Before I was handed my phone over, the blonde took last look at it. The main picture I had set on, was of me and AJ on our bikes and that seemed to capture her attention. Her green eyes scanned it a few times and with the last check, her thumb covered her sister's par, leaving only me in a cropped photo. "I'll call you." She whispered softly, promising yet another, future one on one.