"A home, doesn't have to be...a house.
And a family, doesn't have to be...related."
-Cory Baxter
There a building stood. Surrounding it were some trees, the grass felt bright and healthy. The building sat in a secluded area on the edge of town, sitting next to a forest. A small parking lot accompanied it. There was a slight breeze as the first visitor closed the door of his car, holding in his hand an invitation. Marrowsky read the invitation once more to confirm he had the right address. He tightened his badass shades and walked inside. Looking around, he saw no one. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some headphones, take a guess what he did with them. He reach over to his Walkmen, strapped to his belt, and pressed play.
/PGNU9i0_eIs
Haiku Drama World Tour
Chapter 1: The Shit Awakens
Marrowsky danced around the empty, dark room. Banging his hands off a table to the rhythm, he picked up a rodent and sang into it as if it was a microphone. Marrowsky twirled around and skipped about, stepping in and splashing spilt water, kicking rodents around. He skid a bit with his slippery shoes before the lights went and his attention was caught, bringing his spiritual dance to a stop. He turned the volume down and turned around to see Sam at the door.
"Sexy as fucking fuck, bro. Dance me a little more Ni!" Sam exclaims.
"It's nice to see see you too, Sam." Marrowsky replied, holding his hand out for a nice, firm shake.
"It looks like we're the first to arrive" he said, pointing out the obvious.
"Who the fuck are you?" asked Sam, giving Marrowsky a tubular fist bump because handshakes are for fucking faggitsZ.
Mr. Moogle walked into the room next, dropping his bags to the floor and extending his arms out in joy.
"kupo!"
"That's our Moogle!" Marrowsky smirked.
"What the fuck did Moogle Mr. turn Chinese or something" Sam scratched his head.
"It's good to see you, Sam and Marrowsky." Moogle greeted.
"What? Marrowsky? Is that really how you pronounce it? I've been pronouncing it as Marrowsky this entire time" Cloud said, walking into the room.
"I don't even know the correct way" Marrowsky shrugged.
"Well Marrowsky sounds fucking dumb, like a rat or something. I'm gonna continue to call you Marrowsky" Cloud crossed his arms.
"Is this the turnout?" Cloud asked, looking around.
"I guess four isn't too bad for Haikucon, the goal was three" Moogle said.
"I like Pusey" said Sam.
A sixth person entered the room though! It was Nicholas, who was the size of an Oompa Loompa.
"So you bi*ches actually showed up, huh? This is crazy, we gotta hold hands and masturbate before this ends guys. Oh Cloud is here, cringe" Nihcpls said.
"Right here buddy" Cloud flashed Nicholas a middle finger with a snarky smile.
"What is that implying? That you want to stick your finger up my butt hole because you are gay? Well o.o ok Cloud Nine gay" Nicholas responded.
Cloud flew backwards and crashed (and broke because he's a fatass )into a table due to the amount of ownage he got from Nicholas' comment.
Lemon walked into the building next.
"Finally another kike" Cloud said with relief, dusting off his shirt.
"Yeah another kike for you to have gay sex with because you're a dyke" Nicholas said.
"Look man I am not offended by your hurtful comments I am just a simple boy looking for a good time and don't want to cause any trouble just let me eat some Fritos and chatter amongst my internet friends" Cloud said
"Goddard Cloud shut the heck up you spoke so long we have to skip Lemon / line now" Moogle complained.
Fang walked up.
"I am Fang" Fang said.
Fang walked over to the tables to eat some snacks.
DryBones walked in next, wearing a slick backpack.
"皆さん、こんにちは" DryBones greeted.
"I've been practicing my Japanese."
"That's pretty cool, DryBones" Lemon said.
"Thanks Avocado"
"What"
"Sorry I was thinking of someone else" DryBones finished, sitting down at a table with Sam.
DaUsername walked into the room.
"." he said
"What" Lemon asked, confused.
"Sorry I was posting filler" he explained.
Right behind DohUsername was Bless, who popped his pants on the spot in an attempt to be funny.
"What" Lemon asked.
"Lemon you don't have to say what to everything" Mr. Moogle said
"Hi" Bless said.
"Ok who sent these invitations because they should have known not to invite Fuc🌵in Bldss" Nicolas sighed.
"Come on Nick, I don't think Bless is that bad. He's a pretty normal guy just like you and I once you stop looking at the negatives" Lemon argued.
"Lemon he just pooped himself in an attempt to be funny" Nicholas said.
"I miss Ziggy" Bless stated.
StarForce appeared next.
"Hey guys c:" he smiled.
"StarForce my man" Nicholas said, giving him a bro hug.
"This is gonna be so fun" StarForce exclaimed positively.
"hi" Bless said.
"Hey" Robert replied.
"What the hell, who are you? How long have you been here?" Moogle asked.
"As the sentence said, my name is Robert. I have been here for awhile."
"Have you just been standing there and we haven't noticed you?" Marrowsky asked.
"Yeah" Robert answered.
Element walked in next.
"Holy shit people actually showed up I thought it was just gonna be Nicholas and Moogle."
"No..." Bless said.
"Well whoever is hosting this bash fully paid for all of our trips, that certainly makes the offer easier to accept." Marrowsky said.
"Yeah laugh out loud my mom doesn't even know I'm meeting friends here she just thinks we're on vacation and I went wandering" Element said.
"This is retarded let's stop trying to add logic to the meetup it just happened" Cloud suggested.
"Let's kill Cloud" Nicholas suggested.
"Heh" someone said.
"Shinxy? Really? You're attending Haikucon too?" element asked
"Yeah 3 :3~" Shinxy said.
"Omg Shinxy you're here now, awesomeness use " Nicholas said.
"hi uh Peter?" Shinxy greeted.
ToastWolf came in next.
"Hey frienfs" ToadtWolf Gregg
"ToatWolf hi I've been wanting to tal to you..." bless blushed
"Not now Bless I have to find Rhythm" she said, pulling out a map.
"Never gonna happen. Rhythm's gone." Cloud scoffed, shoving penis in his mouth.
"Don't let Cloud's gay comments get to you ToastWolf I think you can find Rhythm" Bless said.
"I think he's either...in California...or...Utah...one of those two..." ToastWolf said, scratching her not beard because girls don't have beards.
Robot was there next.
"Beep beep"
Alice walked in next.
"The boss is here now" she said, putting sunglasses on.
"That's my thing..." Marrowsky sighed, looking down.
Element scoffed, looking away from Alice, Madorky, Squishward or whatever to face Nicholas and Moogle. Alice didn't come alone, with her was internet superstar GenesisFrenzy aka Riley, holding a phone in his hand he was recording himself walking in.
"Hey guys, GenesisFrenzy here, today I'm going to be doing something a little different. I'm here at Haikucon to meet up with some friends and have a good time! I-"
"Who the hell is that" ToastWolf asked.
"He's a friend of Madorky's. He hangs around the Kik chat a lot" Cloud explained.
"Kik! No!" Nicholas yelled.
"He's not even a haikuer why should he be here..." Element asked.
"Beep" Robot said.
"On the country. I actually do have a Haiku account." Riley said
"All fairs and love is not war, we should not be mean to Riley he's just looking for a good time" StarForce said.
"Where is Luke I need someone here who actually cares about me" Riley asked.
"There's Cloud" Alice said.
"Me and Cloud have a rocky relationship..." Riley sighed.
[before the time that is now]
Riley: Cloud the admins of the amiibo chat are trying to get me banned for posting a risqué picture of Lucina, I need you to back me up so they don't ban me. I'm asking you as a friend.
Riley adds Cloud to the amiibo Kik chat.
Cloud: Kick him kick him kick him kick him kick him kick him kick him
[back to the present]
"I'm pretty sure he was just joking" Alice assured him.
"Hey Riley" Lemon greeted.
"Oh hey Bless" Riley greeted back.
"No..." Lemon said.
"Hey, over here. I'm here now, look over here it's me Stickboy, haha I'm here now I'm in the spotlight haha" Stickboy said
"Who is this guy that I don't know?" Robert asked.
"Im fucking Stickboy" Stickboy burped.
"Hey please watch your language" DryBones asked politely.
"Great what we need is more of the type of people that familiar with I am not" Robert sighed.
Outside of the building the haikuers could hear some screaming.
"Did you remember to pack your ointmet"
"Holy shit for the 🍂🐐th time yes shut the fuck up"
"Be careful now they could be rapists but I don't care enough to check myself"
"Oh my Arceus you're EMBARRASSING ME get the fuck out of here"
"Watch your fucking mouth you little piece of shit you got a mouth as bad as your whore of a mother, why don't you go suck some dick and beg for money on the streets like her you worthless pile of trash"
"Mom what the fuck" GingeraleDragon said, getting out of the car and slamming the door.
"I love you sweetie have fun and be at the hotel by 6:00 pm" Mama Gingerale said, waving a kiss goodbye.
"Whatever!" he said, he pushed his glasses up, put his iconic Charizard cap on, and entered the building.
"Kept you waiting, huh?" Gingerale smirked.
"Hi GinegraleDragon!" Mike greeted.
"Mike!" Nicholas said with excitement,
"Mike's back? I thought he blew up or died or something" ToastWolf noted.
"Say that again slut and I'll hang you by your intestines and eat out your insides so you hope I did died haha !-.-" Mile threatened.
"Hey guys I'm here too" GingeraleDragon tried to get a word in.
The next three all walked in together: Blooberri, Pantz, and Sunnia.
"Yo" Pantz said.
"Pantz? That's cool..." Cloud said to himself, puffing out his coat collar to conceal his blush.
"Hey Sunnia" Alice greeted, putting a hand out.
"Uh...hi..." Sunnia said nervously.
"I'm berri glad to see you guys" Blooberri said.
"Laugh" said Fang.
"Whoa, six new boobs have entered the building" Riley said.
"Kick Riley" Cloud suggested.
Sam went up and kicked Riley in the asshole.
"You like that bitch take it up the ass bro !" Sam laughed, stuffing his knees deep inside Riley's butt.
"No stop the viewers don't want to see me getting my ass kicked!" Riley cried.
"Yes they do kick him kick him kick him" Cloud said gleefully.
Riley was in pain emotionally and anally.
Grenade walked in next.
"Hello" Grenade said.
"Bro!" Sam greeted, running over to pee on him in an assortment of dominance.
"Thank you" Grenade thanked.
"Heh, I'd like to pee in Element /" Shinxy said quietly.
"Shinxy what the fuck man" Element said.
"Looks like I showed up at an interesting time" Pseudonym said dully.
"Yo Psudo!" Gingerale said happily.
"Pseudo." he corrected with a sigh.
"Well this is a pleasant surprise. But at the same time the humor of the three person party pic subtitled Haikucon has lost its charm"
"Hey look it's Pseudonym no one cares lol" Stickboy said.
"Wow thanks I'm gonna go cry from how hurtful that comment was. Nice job destroying me with your powerful words. Your shirt is on backwards by the way." Pseudonym replied nonchalantly.
"I was doing that ironically" Stickboy rolled his eyes. He then quickly glanced around to see if anyone was looking then ran away to switch his shirt around.
"I miss Ziggy" Bless said.
Ziggy came.
"Top cute Bless" Ziggy blushed, twiddling his fingers.
"Ziggy you're here too!" Lemon hugged him.
"Wow top gay Lemon haha...ha...I'm not gay..." Ziggy said.
Outside giggles from girls could be heard.
"Now now ladies you're distracting me, let me park the car and stop touching my muscles" Rydli pleaded.
"Sorry Rydli, I just...I just...uhhhhhhhxmsksj" the girl said, moving her body closer to Rydli so her boobs were on his arm.
"What the heck I can't see with your breasts all over me woman give me some space" Rydli sighed.
"Rydli can we stop at Burger King I'm hungry" another girl, less hot, from the backseat asked.
"You should have asked when we passed one 30 minutes ago and when we weren't in a parking lot." Rydli complained, stopping the car and getting out.
"Rydli I want to have sex with you" another girl said.
"I'm BUSY Lana, can't you see that? I'm gonna go check up with some friends just wait in the car ok." Rydli commanded.
"Ok we'll be here making out if you want to join us" one of them said, twirling her hair.
"Fuck girls I wish I was gay" Rydli sighed as he walked into the building.
"Riddles you're here!" StarForce said joyously.
"Sorry I took so long these girls were holding me up" Rydli explained.
"Wow nice lie Rydli" Ziggy said.
"Oh you wanna call me a liar?" Rydli asked.
"He ain't calling you a truther" Blooberri noted.
"Fellas FELLAS!" StarForce screamed, pushing Rydli and Ziggy away from each other with both his hands.
"Hey Rydli did you bring the stuff" Nicholas asked.
"Yeah here it is" Rydli said, giving Nicholas a bag.
"What was that?" ToastWolf asked
"Nothing" Rydli said.
"You brought Nicholas a bag of nothing?" ToastWolf asked.
"Yes and you have toast in your name some of us do stupid things" Nicholas said
ToastWOLF GRABBED the bag from Nicholas' hand and opened it up. There was nothing in it.
"It was a test and you failed" Rydli said.
"No..." ToastWolf exclaimed.
The next to show up was Lukeguy.
He walked into the building. I mean inside that would be silly haha!
"Luke is here, dope" Alice smiled to her friend, the Luke.
"H-...hi..." he said nervously, looking at the ground.
"AaaaaAAAAAAAA. AaahHjjjhHhhhhh." Luke's brother said, walking up from behind and dumping a bowl of soup on his head.
"oh" DaUsername said
Luke's brother punched Luke in the face and pushed him to the ground, slapping his face.
"I told you not to follow me..." Luke muttered under his breath.
"AAHAHAHAHAAHAH!" Luke's brother took a tire and threw it at Luke's head.
Luke sighed, taking a leash out of his pocket and attaching it to his brother's collar. He tied the leash around a pipe that was on the edge of the wall. Luke's brother frolicked around but his leash kept him from getting far, so he began to take off his clothes.
"Luke!" Riley ran up to Lukeguy and in defense Luke pulled out a pocket knife and stabbed him.
Riley fell to the ground coughing violently.
"Riley is dead yes!" Luke said, shaking.
"Finally, the mass murder had to start eventually I was getting bored" Nicholas said.
"Blood! Yum!" Mike said, licking Riley's blood off of his stomach.
"Anger" Fang exclaimed.
"Great, first Cloud is mean to me, then Samuel kicks me in the ass, and now Luke my love stabs me. Being nice here was..was a bad idea...ugh...its not use..." Riley coughed
"Its not use" Cloud repeated.
"Its not use" Alice repeated.
"Its not use" Mike repeated.
"Its not use" Luke repeated.
"What are you guys doing?" Pseudonym asked.
"Sorry it's a Kik thing, just shitposting" Cloud explained.
"That...doesn't translate well into conversation." Pseudonym said.
"Kys" Ziggy said
"Can we just remove the Kikes from the group?" Rydli suggested.
"Why I oughta" Marrowksy said angrily, getting ready for fisticuffs.
"FELLAS!" StarForce yelled.
They were all interrupted by the arrival of a certain someone. A horse carriage pulled up about 20 feet from the building. Some haikuers stood outside to see the visitor. A horse made a horse noise and the door to the carriage flew open. A suitcase dropped out and landed on the ground. The young man jumped out of the carriage fluidly and majestically, as if he was doing an air walk. Landing on the ground with a gentle bow, he stood up slowly, lifting his head for all to see, crossing his arms, and giving a smirk. He gave a nice point to himself
"KONO REU DA!"
"gay" Carz said, stepping out of the carriage after him.
"Moguls should duck the horse and blaze it up so we can cum cum cum cum orgy bless is gay" Carz said
"Haha you were expecting Dio but it was I, Reu!" Reu said
"Oh yeah, ahem. Pleasure to be reunited with you wise guys" he continued in an Italian accent, putting a hat on.
"You know what this day has been missing? Smash." Cloud stated.
"Fuck Smash" Nicholas said.
"Melee was a mistake" Reu said.
Cloud walked over and pushed Reu under the horse carriage then slapped the horse's ass so it ran over him.
Joe walked up next.
"Yooooooo hey guys!" she greeted.
"Joe..." Pantz said.
"Pantz bro we meet again hey wanna smoke weed haha just kidding unless you want to in which case I bought weed"
"Joe wtf are you thinking. Of COURSE we would smoke weed. We came to Haikucon to do some kooky and regrettable things not to shake hands and talk about things we would already talk about online" Pantz smiled.
Jp, Eden, and Berserker walked into the building next.
"Hey guys" Jp greeted.
"Hi." Eden said.
"Shrek." Berserker said.
"Haha, classic Berk. That is so Berk. I'm really feeling Berk right now!" Rydli laughed.
"Hi Jp" said Stickboy.
"Did somebody say J...nothing after that just the letter J?" J said.
"Well technically yes I did say J but it was apart of Jp meaning Jp" Stickboy said.
"Color me surprised, I could really go for a Peanut Butter and Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjj sandwich right now :D" J raised his eyebrows repeatedly.
"You know Jjjjjjjjjj is just the letter J said over and over again and not a long drawn out J right? You could just say Jaaaaay because that would actually make sense" Stickboy said.
"Ok hold on can I do my line again"
J walked out of the building and back in.
"Whoa whaaaat? What is happening here? Are all of my haikuer friends gathered in this one location? Why didn't you guys tell me?" J asked.
"J are you honestly expecting us to believe you coincidentally walked by this building right as Haikucon was going down, happening to be in the same county let alone the same state?" Mr. Moogle asked
"I had no idea guys no one invited me" J confessed.
"Show us your invitation J" Jp said.
"Invitation? I didn't get one!" J said.
"I just like hanging out in this old abandoned Milwaukee warehouse on the weekends" he admitted.
"Whatever" Gingerale scoffed, flipping his hair.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeererrerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry guys!" Kirby shouted, entering the place.
"Oh shit Gluvr's here" ToastWolf said with excitement.
"Uh hey let's use more appropriate language here pal" DryBones said.
"DryBones it's a party live a little" ToastWolf encouraged.
"No"
"I miss Ziggy" Bless said.
"This is so amazing! What should we do guys? We can play some music together with our instruments, or play board game irl, I also brought...cards against humanity!" Kirby jumped around with glee.
"By the way does anyone know who that screaming naked boy in the corner of the room is?"
Everyone stood or sat quietly as the next haikuer walked in, only the sounds of their footsteps could be heard as they approached the group. The haikuer wore a red mask covering the lower and upper quarters of their face, leaving only eyes and a beak to be seen.
"Am I late?" they asked.
"Who is that?" StarForce asked.
"StarBird." Jp said.
"One of the more mysterious haikuers, nobody knows StarBird's age, appearance, not even their gender." she explained as StarBird walked past the group, grabbing a cup of coffee from a catering table and then standing down at a table quietly.
"Strange, one of the last people I'd expect to show up" Alice said.
The 39th person to enter was none other than Naomi, or better off known as Isaac These Days.
"Hey guys" Isaac greeted.
"Hi Naomi" Rydli greeted.
"I'd prefer Isaac" he said.
"No problem, welcome to Haikucon" Reu topped his hat and shook Isaac's hand.
"Wait where is Jillian or otherwise known as Flameflare?" StarForce asked.
"Don't be foolish StarForce you were in HDA don't you remember what happened to her?" Gingerale said.
"Oh yeah true" StarForce nodded.
"That did happen" Grenade confirmed.
"Well no need to elaborate since we all remember what happened" Kirby said.
One final person showed up shortly after. But like J, it was someone without an invitation. Jacob the otaku walked in, knocking on the door to alert his presence.
"Yo bros.." he waved.
"Whoa Jacob you actually showed up!" Lemon said.
"Well sometimes a coops gotta fly you know what I mean" he said.
"Ok I know we've seen some obscure haikuers here before but who the fuck is Jacob?" Element asked.
"Jacob "Rock My Socks Off" [insert last name here], joined Haikik after being met in a Smash chat, stayed and grew accustomed to our lifestyle. He's a staple at this point" Alice said.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhg this is HAIJUCON not Kik-Kon? Get that nasty weeb piece of trash out of of here he doesn't belong!?" Robert yelled.
"Whoa slimmer down there, Madonna. I'm just here for a good time and Fritos no need for hostility. And also I'm not a fucking weeb I chose my username when I was 12." Jacob explained.
"Come on guys Haikik is just a division of Haiku, he still communicating with a lot of the community. It's not like this is a Haiku oriented game show or anything in which case of course we shouldn't allow him" Mr. Moogle said.
"Alright but if he acts up I'll go angryphent on this bitch" Element said.
Jacob took out a small pocket notebook titled "Haiku References and You", and scanned through the pages.
"Oh that was a good one" Jacob chuckled.
"I wouldn't want to remove myself from the group, though, am I right" he laughed, bumping his elbow on Cloud.
"Well it's been 15 seconds and no one new has showed up I think we can take this as an indication that everyone is here" Marrowsky said.
"Let's do shit"
And Haikucon's true party began there.
"Alright guys we need to go in with something big. You know what I'm thinking?" Nicholas asked.
"Satanic sacrifice?" Shinxy asked
"Yes." Nicholas said, snapping his fingers.
"Alright but we need someone to use..." Blooberri scratched her chin because it was itchy.
Cameron barged into the building.
"Rev up those dicks, because I sure am one huge faggot!" he shouted.
Lukeguy stabbed Cameron, he fell to the ground and the haikuers started beating him up. Nicholas threw him on the ground over a pentagram and his internal organs started to burn and bleed out. All of the haikuers save for Lukeguy and Berserker joined hands in a circle around the pentagram and set their hair on fire, bowing down so their heads joined together and a giant blaze engulfed Cameron, he screamed in agony as he burned to death in front of the haikuers.
"That was cool" Sunnia said.
Some menacing chuckles could be heard from an unknown source. The haikuers looked around trying to pinpoint who was laughing.
"So here you all are. Gathered once again." the mysterious voice said.
Some haikuers just looked at each other and shrugged.
The man appeared from a puff of smoke on the stage standing in the back of the room. He held a cane in his hand and wore a top hat, gloves, and some sunglasses.
"Are you the host?" Kirby asked.
"Yes I am. I sent out all of the invitations and paid for your trips here. Well, except for J and Jacob, but the more the merrier." he shrugged.
"Wait who are you? A haikuer we haven't seen a selfie of?" Jp asked
"Just call me The Admin for now" he insisted.
":s" was the expression on Cloud's face.
"That's not a very creative title." Pseudonym said.
"I'm here to propose something" Admin spoke as he walked across the stage.
"A trip around the world."
"I'm in" J said confidently.
"Haiku Drama World Tour"
"I'm out" Element backed away.
"Another Haiku Drama?" StarBird asked.
"Are we on camera right now? Hi mom!" StarForce said.
"Every week is a new location. The longer you survive, the more of the world you'll see. And as fans of Total Drama may have figured, this season also has a musical overlay" Admin explained.
"No no no no I've had enough of this shit I already died twice in these stupid things, I'm not signing up for this" Element complained.
"Will you do it for 1,000,000 stars?" Admin asked.
"What kind of question is that, the odds of me beating everyone is like 1/40 I'm never gonna win" Element said.
"Hey Element shit the fuck up I'm digging this" Joe said.
"Guys this is what we always wanted! The haiku road trip on steroids, this will be great!" J insisted.
"Hmm" Robot said.
"Well said Robot" ToastWolf said.
"I'm not sure about this, Haiku Drama + 20,000 feet in the sky = death" Rydli said.
"Yeeeeeeeeh I don't knoooooow, it's a trip around the world but eeeeeeeh I don't feeeeeeeel like it" Gingerale said.
"Come on Gingerale, it's what Cameron would have wanted" Pantz said.
"Oh yeah, rip Cameron..." Gingerale said.
"He died too young for his own good" Riley sighed.
"Actually guys I think I'm still alive" Cameron coughed.
"Shut up you're irrelevant" Cloud said, kicking him.
"What do you guys say, one last ride together?" Admin offered one last time.
The haikuers looked around at each other to see the different expressions. Some were worried and others were had a questionable look, Sam had one of confidence and Lukeguy looked nervous just to be here.
"Just do it." Berserker said.
Suddenly, a lion jumped through the window and roared.
"What the heck where did that lion come from?" Joe asked.
"It looks like we just entered The Real Milwaukee" J said.
"Quick, feed it Cameron's body and we can make a run for it!" Nicholas suggested.
"Now Nicholas that's just rude" Robert said.
"Hold on let me explain why sacrificing a persons to make a getaway is justified" Nicholas said.
A huge plane crashed through the building, running over the lion and splattering blood on Jacob's new white jeans ("really dude"), and also tearing down the back wall and knocking over the coffee maker like an asshole.
Admin knocked on it and a door flung open, a short set of stairs popped down.
"Follow me" Admin said, waking inside.
Everyone followed him inside.
"This plane has two chambers for you to sleep in. Whichever team loses a challenge will sleep in this lower-class chamber. Better strap on so you don't fall around, it gets bumpy back here." Admin explained.
"We have to sleep standing up? Ugh that sounds so strenuous" Pseudonym sighed.
"Then don't lose faggot" Sam pushed him down.
"This first class chamber is for the winners of the challenge. They get to chill and relax in this cozy area with a food bar, TV access, massage chairs, and carpet flooring." Admin continued.
"Holy FUCK CARPET FLOORING" Ziggy screamed, rolling around the carpet.
Joe licked the carpet.
"You will be served breakfast, lunch, and dinner here in the mess hall area of the plane" Admin said.
[Admin in le confession toilet]
"And here you can let everyone at home know how you feel, I'm sure you're used to this by now"
[le end]
[Berserker in le confession toilet]
*fart*
[le end]
[Lemon in le confession toilet]
"This sounds like it's going to be fun. I don't have my eyes on winning but I'm sure it'll be fun along the way"
[le end]
"There's also storage for your shit and other rooms that you can stand in or whatever who cares. Oh and one final, important room. This is where the elimination ceremonies will be held. The losing team will vote for someone to leave. For every ceremony all but one receive a bag of deez...Mountain Dew can. They will all move on to live another day, the loser will have to take the drop of shame and parachute down to wherever the hell we are at that point of time." Admin continued.
"That's nice and all but I'll have to decline, thanks for the tour but I must go back to my PC" Element said, opening the door and about to jump out.
It was then Element looked down and screamed like a little girl when he noticed they were already airborne. The wind fiercely blew inside, he accidentally took one step out but his hand was grabbed by Marrowsky who tugged him to safety, Admin closed the door.
"Element don't foll" Cloud said.
[Lukeguy in le confession toilet]
"...I hope he folls."
[le end]
"Yeah that wasn't very smart of you" Admin said.
"What the fuck? Who is even flying this thing?" Element asked, his heart racing.
Admin showed them all to the cockpit hehehe ok sorry anyways the cockpit. Admin opened the door and zombie was flying the plane.
"Hey gays" Imboo greeted.
"Imboo are you ever gonna get a spot as a contestant?" Pantz asked.
"No stfu"
"Riley you can stop filming everything this is a televised show" Alice said.
"No Alice you see my fans, of GenesisFrenzy my YouTube channel, will love to see everything on the show from my point of view, it'll be like so real!" Riley said.
"Ok have fun killing your phone everyday" she shrugged.
Ding!
"Did someone finish making hot pockets?" Grenade asked.
"Hot pockets? What? What kind of question is that? Shut up. Whenever you hear that ding it's time for the musical segment. You'll have to break into a musical number no matter what you are doing. You don't sing? You're out." Admin said.
[Element in le confession toilet]
"Easy enough, this just got easier. Because this is easy not to mess up. And by mess up I mean doing what you're supposed to do.
I'm not going to sing."
[le end]
"So we just...sing..." Sunnia said.
"Yes that is the point of this." Admin said.
"What if we're shy teehee" Lemon asked.
"Too bad, you gotta do it." Admin answered.
"Either way, that was just a sound test. The next time you hear it, it'll be the real thing. Anyways, it looks like we're coming up on our first location!" Admin said.
"Really? What is it? Paris? London?" Kirby asked.
"I hope it's Japan so I can buy one of their nice toilets" DryBones said.
Everyone shook as the plane came to a jarring stop, loud noises of scrapping metal from outside could be heard. Admin looked out the window and saw they ran over a deer.
"Really dude? Imboo I hope you get better at this" Admin sighed.
"Isn't Imboo like 13 how is he flying a plane?" Jp asked.
"Oh Jp haha. First time on Haiku Drama, huh?" J laughed.
Outside Admin stood in a large desert wasteland. The haikuers started to walk down the stairs one at a time GingeraleDragon got to the ground first.
"You. Left" Admin ordered.
"Ok" Gingerale said, walking to his left and standing alone.
Rydli was the next to reach the ground.
"Right" Admin ordered.
"Not my right your right"
Rydli stood alone on the right side.
Mr. Moogle appeared next and was sent to the left, Fang fourth sent to the right.
As each haikuer got to the ground, Admin ordered them to either the left or right group. Eventually all 40 were separated into the two groups. 20 for both of you can't divide 40 by 2.
"Say hello to your new teams, fellas. Feel free to choose your team name yourselves.
Everyone looked around at their teammates.
Team 1:
GingeraleDragon
Mr. Moogle
Robot
Nicholas
Isaac
Berserker
StarForce
Robert
Reu
J
Stickboy
Mike
ToastWolf
Madorky
Sam
StarBird
Sunnia
Lemon
Blooberri
Riley
Team 2:
Rydli
Fang
Element
Pseudonym
Bless
Carz
Jp
Grenade
Ziggy
DaUser
Shinxy
Cloud
Joe
Kirby
DryBones
Eden
Marrowsky
Lukeguy
Pantz
Jacob
"Heh, hey Element looks like we're on the same team" Shinxy blushed.
"Yes there was a 50% chance of this happening what a surprise" Element replied.
[J in le confession toilet]
"Me and Marrowsky aren't on the same team...no..."
[le end]
"I miss...oh hi Ziggy" Bless said.
"Hey Bless" Ziggy responded.
"I'm an ironic memeing piece of shit"
"oh"
"Bless on my team? Can this GET any gayer? All we need now is minions." Carz sighed
"Hey Riley looks like we're on the same team. That's coop." Alice said.
"Not now I'm trying to masturbate"
"What"
"Imagine me orgasming in places all around the world. That would be amazing" Riley said.
"You're such a lirtle freak" Alice said
"Bless AND Jacob? Could this team get anymore homosexual?" Cloud sighed
"Hey you little shit that was my shitpost faggot now back off or I'll Shrek you're faking dick off" Carz threatened.
"So we're on the same team Nicholas." Mr. Moogle said.
"Ah yes the unbearable duo. I meant unbeatable fuck autocorrect" Nicholas said.
"Me and Niclas are on the same team! Swastikal, let's fuckin murder everyone and eat their dead bodies!" Mike suggested
"That's a good idea" Nicholas said.
"Cloud...Luke...Bless...that guy I don't know but he uses Kik so he's probably an asshole...ugh hopefully I can fail that musical thing soon." Element grunted, a huge anime tear fell from his face
"What the fuck was that oh my god just being around them is making me a weeb" Element sighed.
Stickboy glanced over to see Jp on the other team and sighed.
"Alright so team names. I'm thinking Super Smash Brothers Melee" Rydli suggested.
"Good name" Cloud said.
"The Meat Beaters" DryBones suggested.
"DryBones go away. I got it; The Strawhats." Cloud said.
"None of us have strawhats" Eden said.
"Team Boobs" Bless said.
"Girl boobs or Drake and Josh boobs?" Kirby asked.
"I..." Bless said.
"Team Buttercup" ToastWolf said.
"Team Swastika" Mike suggested.
"oo that's a good one, let's go with that" J said.
"Agreed." Reu said.
"Alright we've decided our team name will be-" Mr. Moogle began before being cut off.
"Wait wait wait. I just had a hilarious idea. Let's ironically call ourselves Team Jacob!" GingeraleDragon suggested to no one's amusement.
"No." Alice said.
"But think about it, imagine the hilarity when the other team notices our name and goes "Oh I'm picking up what you're putting down" and names themselves Team Edward accordingly. But here's the kicker: there's a JACOB on THEIR team"
Gingerale explained, chuckling to himself.
"No. Our team name is Team-" Moogle began.
"JACOB!" Gingerale screamed.
"Gay. We're the Troll Slaiyers" Cloud said confidently.
Some Team Jacob members face palmed.
"I, for one, approve of Team Jacob's name" Jacob said.
The teams get their group photos and were ready for the challenge.
"Alright Admin so where are we? What magical land will begin our world tour?" Marrowsky asked.
"Utah!" Admin proclaimed.
"More like whotah, right?" Jacob said.
"Stop talking." Robert replied.
"Utah, eh? This happened to be one of my leads on Rhythm's location." ToastWolf said.
"Oh, really, we're going with this? That wasn't just a one note joke? Ok then" Stickboy said.
"Shut up your entire character was swearing last season" ToastWolf said.
"Alright, settle down contestants. Your first challenge here in Utah is simple: climb Kings Peak." Admin said.
"Kings Peak? Isaac asked.
"I know this! It's the highest point of Utah, and takes at least a 32 mile hike" J explained.
"J why do you know this, nobody cares about Utah" Gingerale said.
"I love geography, I find facts about different states and countries interesting" he explained.
"Is that going to help us win the challenge? I think not, so shut up" Gingerale said, crossing his arms.
"Anyways, I should also mention everyone is allowed one bag full of their gear for every exploration based challenge. Some challenges can be tedious, but bringing food and water can help" Admin said.
"Oh that's wonderful, let me just get my bag from the hotel back in Milwaukee." Pseudonym said sarcastically.
"Not my problem" Reggie said.
"I don't know about you guys, but this is gonna be AWESOME for my Pokewalkers" Riley said, swinging the strings of his sweater with Pokewalkers attached to each one around.
Admin reached under his hat and pulled two books out, he tossed one to each team, caught by StarBird and DaUser.
"Fun fact, most of Utah is Mormon. The most Mormon of the U.S. When you reach the top of Kings Peak, I also want you to have that Book of Mormon with you. If you fail to have the book in your possession...you lose!" Admin explained.
"K" Fang said.
"Can I hold the Book of Mormon?" DryBones asked.
"No DryBones you'll mess it up somehow and then we'll all vote you off and you'll be stuck in Utah" Cloud said.
"Can I hold it?" Bless asked.
"Sure I don't care what happens to you" Cloud said.
"I thought DaUser was holding it, who put you in charge Cloud?" Kirby asked.
"oh" DaUser said.
"I think DaUser should hold on to it, he won't let us down" Kirby suggested.
"Ok blush" DaUser said
"So, I nominate Robot to hold the book" Mr. Moogle proclaimed.
"Yeah sure ok" Robot said, firmly grasping the book.
"Well then LET'S FUCKING GO!" Sam shouted, pumping his fists.
Ding!
"And with the beginning of the challenge comes our first song" Admin said cheerfully.
"Great a montage could make this a lot less tedious" Grenade said.
"Now go" Admin ordered, and everyone too off.
"Guys I don't know about this how can I just make up a song on the spot I'll look silly..." Lemon said nervously.
"Cheer up Lemon, if Phineas and Ferb can do it so can we" Blooberri encouraged.
[Song #1 - Ain't No I In Utah]
Lemon: U! T! A! H!
Jacob Choir: UTAH! UTAH! LET'S GO!
Jp: Here we go now, our journey begins!
Shinxy: I'm super really happy to be with elly-kins! /
Mr. Moogle: It helps that I'm experienced with singing in a choir.
Eden: I don't want to sing, but the situation is dire.
Riley: I wanna to be the very best, the best there is on YouTube
Jacob: I want to marry a cloud
J: I want to travel the world
Sam: I WANT TO WIN
StarForce: Hey gang, let's give a teamwork song a spin!
Troll Slaiyers run across some rocks standing in a river.
Slaiyer Choir: Cause there ain't no I in Utah!
Jacob Choir: Stubbornness won't get you very far
Both Teams: Together's the key, until the preliminary. Winning is our destiny!
DryBones: Go to Japan
Kirby: Make lots of friends!
Lemon: Live a mundane life
GingeraleDragon: Blah blah blah, I just wanna kick some ass
Cloud: Settle it in-
Nicholas: Fuck Smash
Pseudonym: All this singing and running makes me wanna die
Pantz: Death is good, but you gotta try
Jacob Choir: Cause there ain't no I in Utah!
Slaiyer Choir: Stubbornness won't get you very far
Blooberri: Together's the key
Rydli: Until the preliminary.
Isaac: Winning is our destiny!
Mike: Can't wait to murder all the Jews!
Reu: yare yare daze...this guy's giving me the blues
Fang: I hope I can stop J2
ToastWolf: I need to find Rhythm...
DaUser: .
Stickboy: Speaking of rhythm, we need help with that, a lot
Bless: My dick says yes, but my heart says no, I'm not sure I'll just follow le flow
Carz: Gay
Joe: What did you say?
Carz: Gay
Joe: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Carz: GAY! GAY! GAY!
Grenade: U to the T, to the A to the H
Marrowsky: Like Uracil to Thymine, and Adenine to...Hypoxanthine?
StarBird: I'm not used to this stuff but I'll give it a shot
Robot: My singing has no inflection cause I'm a stale robot.
Robert: But the despite of it all, we will sing and not fall
Berserker: Ehh...ehhhh...ahhhh...sing words...
Jacob Choir: THAT'S RIGHT! Cause there ain't no I in Utah!
Slaiyer Choir: Stubbornness won't get you very far
Both Teams: Together's the key, until the preliminary. Winning is our destiny!
Madorky: The road is long, and we've only just started
Element: Who is to say you'll even make it far? Damn it who farted? Fuck that rhyme
Shinxy: Yay! You're still in, and your singing is fine! :3
Ziggy: At the end of it all, a waifu will be mine
Stickboy: I can't think of a rhyming line
Sunnia: Bloo's selfies, looking fine
Admin: That's all but one, finish it off Luke!
Lukegiy: I...pebirg
Everyone: That's right!
Cause there ain't no I in Utah!
Ain't no I in Utah!
Not about you, not about me
All about us, and the U.S has UTAH!
Jacob Choir: U!
Slaiyers Choir: T!
Admin: A!
Everyone: H!
Mr. Moogle: and don't forget about the mormoooooooooons
[le big finish]
The Troll Slaiyers were walking together up a ragged path, fatigued from singing even thought most of them had one line. A man wearing a white shirt and black tie, with some nice black pants and shoes, wearing only a smile, made them all stop.
"Hello!" he greeted.
"My name is Elder Wright! And I'd like to share with you this book of Jesus Christ' he began to sang.
"Please stop, we already had our musical number" Marrowsky requested.
"Ni hao! My name is Elder Nguyen"
"Elder, huh? Do you have the elder scrolls? That was an elder scrolls reference." GingeraleDragon said
"Actually I was wondering if you've seen my book?" Elder Nguyen asked.
"Book? Of what? ToastWold asked.
"Eternal life! Is super fun!" Elder Wright was dancing by bending his knees.
The Troll Slaiyers for the most part were plugging their ears, but Joe was smiling and bouncing her head rhythmically to the singing.
"So anyways have you seen my Book of Mormon?" Elder Nguyen asked.
"No." Nicholas said.
"Come on guys we should get going so the Trill Slauers don't get ahead" Nicholas said, beginning to walk.
"Can I walk with you?" Elder Nguyen asked.
"No." Nicholas said.
"So anyways, did you know Jesus Christ used to live here in the USA?" Elder Nguyen was telling Nicholas.
The rest of the team follower closely.
[Berserker in le confession toilet]
"I hope this doesn't last long"
[le end]
"So yeah have you seen a Book of Mormon?" Elder Wright asked.
"No." Cloud said.
"Yeah we actually have one right here!" Kirby said.
"We need that for the challenge though..." Eden said.
"After we get to the top of Kings Peak and the challenge is over you can have it" Kirby said.
"Thanks for the offer but I don't even need the book myself." Wright said.
"Why not?" Kirby asked.
"Not to be rude but we should probably get moving." Grenade suggested.
Elder Wright began to explain as they walked up the path.
"You see, each Mormon has a buddy. One buddy holds the book with all the knowledge and power while the other Mormon does all the physical work. But one thing you must make sure never happens: The Book of Mormon should never be burned."
"Oh" DohUser said
"Sounds cool to me!" Ziggy said, flashing a thumbs up and combing his hair back.
"There are lots of boulders ahead, how should we get across them?" Jp asked.
"We can climb over them" Jacob suggested.
"Whoa Jacob you're pretty good at this where did you learn so much about rock maneuvering?" Rydli asked.
"Me and my dad go hiking a lot" Jacob said.
"That's pretty cool, bro. Sounds like a valuable team member to me" Rydli winked.
"Well." Jacob smiled and out his hands to his hops.
"Glad to see some appreciation for my skills, bro!" Jacob replied
[Rydli in le confession toilet]
"Y'know, I'm really feeling Jacob! He hasn't actually talked to me before, since he's just been on Kik. So I must have left a good press ion on him B)"
[le end]
The Troll Slaiyers were climbing over the rocks, while Team Jacob approached the opposite side of the mountain. They looked up to see if they could see the top.
"Looks like a long way up" Lemon said.
"Thanks for confirming that, Lemon." Stickboy thanked.
"Hey what if we all got on each other's shoulders and made a 20-person tall tower? Then the person at top would be at the top!" StarForce suggested.
"You're an idiot" Alice said.
"What if StarBird flew to the top?" ToastWolf suggested.
"I'm not actually a bird, ToastWolf." StarBid replied.
"Aha! So that narrows your species down by one!" ToastWolf said, taking out a pen and paper and writing that down on a piece of paper.
"Well since Berserker is still half robot half thylacine half human we can use the power of his arm to shoot Robot in the air, once she gets to a certain height she can kick in her rocket boost just enough to reach the top" Mr. Moogle suggested.
"Well since Shrek is still half onion half Blart half ogre we can use the power of his fort to shoot Barry Bee in the air, once he gets to a certain height he can kick in his spaghetti boost just enough to foll off the top" Alice said.
"Well since Shrek is still half onion half Blart half ogre we can use the power of his fort to shoot Barry Bee in the air, once he gets to a certain height he can kick in his spaghetti boost just enough to foll off the top" Mike repeated.
"Well since Shrek is still half onion half Blart half ogre we can use the power of his fort to shoot Barry Bee in the air, once he gets to a certain height he can kick in his spaghetti boost just enough to foll off the top" Lemon repeated.
"Well since Shrek is still half onion half Blart half ogre we can use the power of his fort to shoot Barry Bee in the air, once he gets to a certain height he can kick in his spaghetti boost just enough to foll off the top" Riley repeated.
"Let's just walk to the top" StarBird suggested.
"Someone wake Stickboy up he's sleeping like a Mexican aka Bless" Nicholas said.
"Or me" Lemon said.
"Oh shit Lemon how long have you been here i thought you died or something" Nicholas said
"Ok ok so I'm The Awesome, Rydli's The Power, Shinxy's The Gay, DryBones' The Bastard, Element's The Fire Power, Jacob's The Sissy, and Cloud's The Money Guy" Marrowsky said.
"You can't just give titles to 40% of the group, what is everyone else?" Jp asked.
"Good point, we should get rid of the other 60% so we don't have deadweight" Cloud said.
"Why am I The Sissy? Can't I be The Awesome?" Jacob asked.
"Nobody knows you" Marrowsky said.
"Hmm, I'll sacrifice my title of The Power and give it to Jaxon because he's my bro" Rydli said.
"Really niggers you're just gonna leave the rest of us out like that" Ziggy said.
"Why the hell am I The Fire Power?" Element asked.
"Retard. You're the master of flame wars" Bless said.
"Yeah Element even Bless knows that" Cloud said.
"Heh, I think you're pretty hot Elent..." Shinxy blushed
"Ok Shonxy seriously you need to end this Elent talk" Element said.
"Hey guys I think we're nearing the top" Marrowsky said up ahead s bit.
"Great. That's great. Great. Lol greats. Haha great. Lol." Joe said.
"Do you guys want to hear about my Mormon backstory?" Elder Nguyen asked the team.
"No Elder Nguyen shit up" Robert said.
"NDOS! We're here" said Sam.
The team all ran and emerged at the top of Kings Peak.
"We did it! We win! This was so underwhelming! But we did it!" Riley shouted.
"It's kinda pretty looking down from here." J said, peering over the distance.
All of the Jacobs gathered near the edge and looked over as the sun was setting, looking over the sea of trees and mountains, and the water flowing from a nearby lake.
"This is like Super Smash Bros Brawl" Alice said.
"Brawl!? Not Melee? Preposterous!" a voice shouted out.
Cloud and the rest of the Troll Slaiyers went running up to the peak.
"Your to slow" Riley smirked.
"No!" Bless shouted.
"The clouds look very pretty from up here..." Jacob said, his heart beating and his penis blushing.
"So we win right? So now we have to walk back, right? Ugh..." Isaac sighed.
"Actually, it's not over yet." Admin said, walking up from the shadows.
"What do you mean?" Jp asked.
Elder Nguyen sighed, then walked up to the peak with his hands behind his back and spoke facing the sunset.
"It's no coincidence we met. You see me and Elder Wright have something in common." Elder Nguyen said.
"Is it that you two are both Mormon." Grenade asked.
"Both of us seek companionship!" Elder Wright smiled.
"You see, the Mormons were sent here from another dimension to do battle until only one remained. Once a Mormon is defeated, they are sent back to the Mormon world! Only by burning a Mormon's Book of Mormon can you truly defeat a Mormon!" Wright continued.
"And me and Wright are the last of the Mormodos." Nguyen sighed.
"Mormodos?" Pantz asked.
"Our true name. But that doesn't matter, what does matter is that we both now have partners and now we can fight. The winner of this battle will be the Mormodo King!" Nguyen shouted, turning around and pointing a finger dramatically.
"The final part of today's challenge, guide your Mormon partner to victory. Whosever Mormon dies loses!" Admin said.
"Can I give the book to someone else so I don't look bad if I lose?" DaUser asked.
"Nope! Too late!" Admin said.
All of the haikuers stood near the edge as Robot, DaUser, Elder Nguyen, and Elder Wright stood in the center of the peak.
"This ends now lol" Wright said with a smile.
"How do we use the books?" Robot asked.
Robot opened the book and a giant light flashed out.
"seer stones!" Robot shouted, reading some lines.
Elder Nguyen shot fireballs out of his mouth and they knocked Wright onto he ground.
"That really hurt!" Wright chuckled cheerfully.
"Uh..." DaUser said, quickly flipping through the pages.
"Urim and Thummim" DaUser shouted.
Elder Wright ripped his tie off, making Joe shekel from the intensity. Wright roared and leaped at Nguyen, scratching his face.
"Golden plates!" Robot shouted.
Golden plates emerged from Nguen's hands, and he flung them at Wright, who dodged them epically and caught one in his mouth, throwing it back with Might.
Nguyen and Wright began floating in the air, throwing out dozens of punches and kicks at each other, successfully blocking each one.
"Jerusalem!" DaUser shouted.
A sound wave escaped from Wright's mouth, knocking Nguyen to the ground.
"Hahamnanahja good game !" Wright said.
"No! This is not over!" Nguyen screamed, grabbing Wright's leg and tossing him over the cliff.
"Jesus Christ!" Robert said.
"...of Latter Day Saints" J finished.
"Looks like it's all over now" Nguyen said, crossing his arms.
DaUser looked at his Book of Mormon and at the cliff.
[le flashback]
"I think DaUser should hold on to it, he won't let us down" Kirby suggested.
[le end]
DaUser looked over at his team, Kirby looked disappointed.
He ran towards the edge and jumped off to everyone's gasp. His fatness made him fastfall. He held his hands out toward Elder Wright. Elder Wright held his hand out.
The two were getting closer to the bottom, but DaUser extended his arm out as far as he could, the inches between their hands were shortening.
"Anyone up for some Groovy Smoothies?" Alice asked.
Just then Elder Wright came flying up, holding DaUser in his hands. He let him down on the summit, and they looked at each other confidently, nodding.
Elder Wright's hair was now spiky and flowing crazily.
"Hello! My name is Elder Wright!" he greeted.
"Impossible!" Nguyen shouted, he jumped at Wright but he did a twirl, letting Nguyen fly right past him, and grabbing his arms in the process. He tugged on them hard as he knees Nguyen's back.
"Ahhh!" Nguyen shouted.
"Say uncle!" Wright laughed.
Nguyen's eyes went all white and he shouted at the top of his lungs, he kicked his arms and legs out and a huge force pushed Wright away. Wright held his arm in front of his eyes to avoid getting dust in his eye. Nguyen flew at him and gave him an uppercut, blood came out of Wright's chin.
Nguyen added in a 20x punching combo and then slam dunked him onto the ground, where the force of his landing caused the ground to form cracks. Nguyen flowed down quietly, crossing his arms. He began to walk away by was stopped by the sound of laughter.
"Why do you persist to act so cheerful? You're going to die. This battle is over, accept it." Nguyen scoffed.
"No...you see...that's the thing about Mormons." Wright said, slowly getting of the ground, blood all over his face.
"No matter how hard you try to knock us down, no matter how silly you try to make us out to be, deep inside we have a heart of gold. You don't have to agree with us, you don't even have to like us. But nothing will end my will to live a happy life." Wright said, standing up and readying his arms.
"I will make sure the Mormons have a benevolent king!" he shouted, coming at Nguyen.
Nguyen blocked all of the attacks but each one knocked him back a little, making him grunt.
"Where is this power coming from?" Nguyen asked.
"Lost tribes!" DaUser shouted.
Wright shouted and a bolt of waves made Nguyen fly backwards.
"Kick him! Kick him!" Cloud shouted.
Wright kicked Nguyen over and over again, finishing him off with a blow to the jaw.
Nguyen tried to get up, but fell over like a doofus.
"Did I win?" DaUser asked.
"Sure, just burn Robot's book and it's over" Admin said.
"Ok how do I do that?" DaUser asked.
"Uh oh" Wright said.
Nguyen spit a bit of fire onto DaUser's Book of Mormon.
"Uh oh lol" Wright laughed.
"Looks like we've won, only one way to celebrate" Nicholas said, guiding Team Jacob to the fire where they all joined hands and set their hair on fire.
"No..." DaUser said, trying to put his fire out.
"It's ok, DaUser, you did your best!" Elder Wright said, giving DaUser a big as he began to fade away.
DaUser held Elder Wright in his arms as he smiled and closed his eyes, before the book burned to a crisp and he faded some more.
"Just remember, it's not your fault" Wright smiled, then shrieked in agony as his face melted, eyes fell out, and straight out died and faded into nothingness in DaUser's arms.
DaUser looked at the ground with an overwhelming face of horror.
"That's the thing, positivity and optimism will never stand a chance against sheer power and destiny. Elder Wright just happened to be born a loser." Elder Nguyen said.
Reu watched Nguyen walk away down the peak.
The plane hovered next to the peak.
"Alright guys, everyone jump aboard. The first elimination will be starting soon. Troll Slaiyers, you're up!"
The haikuers were all gathered on the plane. Team Jacob was enjoying themselves in the first class department while the Troll Slaiyers were awaiting their fate in the elimination chamber.
[Robot in le confession toilet]
You know, all of this happened kinda fast. We just showed up for Haikucon, got invited for the show, and all unanimously agreed to join, and here we are already set in motion of the show at the end of only one day." Robot said.
[le end]
"A toast, to our first victory. And many to come." Mr. Moogle said, raising a glass of Mountain Dew with a Doritos chip clinging on.
A bunch of the Jacobs rose their glasses to the toast.
StarBird sat away from the others, sighing and looking out the window.
"Here we are, the first elimination ceremony" Admin announced, the Troll Slaiyers were seated among three rows of seats, two seats filled by seven contestants and one row eight.
"You all casted your vote on the desired loser's passport. 19 will move on, but one will fall...who will it be? Right now, we find out..." Admin said.
Everyone looked around at each other, some with confident expressions others feeling nervous.
[Element in le confession toilet]
"The sooner they let me off this place the faster I can get home. I've been away from my PC for too long...but with my luck I'm gonna survive long enough to be eaten by a giant Shinx or get gangbanged by a group of Lenny faces..."
Element sighs
[le end]
[Kirby in le confession toilet]
"It's hard to make a choice because I don't want to say goodbye to anyone...but a game's a game I'll have to do this"
[le end]
[Cloud in le confession toilet]
"Easy vote, let the failures foll"
[le end]
[Jacob in le confession toilet]
"Still have no idea who most of these people are. Eenie meenie minie..."
[le end]
"Now since the game has only just started and the numbers are high, the votes scatter a lot. We do have lots of different people voted for, but only a small margin determined this lose" Admin explained.
"Right on" Ziggy said.
"Now for the Mountain Dew cans...safe tonight are Marrowsky, Eden, Pantz, Ziggy, Grenade, Cloud, Jp, Shinxy, Element, Kirby, Joe, Lukeguy, Bless, aaaaand Pseudonym" Admin announced, throwing a can to each respective contestant, who all caught theirs except Luke, it hit him off the head.
Rydli, Fang, Carz, DaUser, DryBones, and Jacob were the last 6 Mountain Dewless.
Rydli glanced over at Jacob, then focused his attention back on Admin, smiling confidently.
"Oooooo someone's about to get grounded grounded grounded for 0283748202928364739282738 years" Carz said.
"Thank you for that Carz. Anyways, you and Rydli get the next two cans." Admin said.
Fang, DaUser, DryBones, and Jacob remained.
[DaUser in le confession toilet]
"Oh..."
[le end]
[DryBones in le confession toilet]
"B-but...Japan-sama..."
[le end]
[Jacob in le confession toilet]
"Oh I see how it is, picking on the new guy, huh? No...the kikes had to have backed me up on this..."
[le end]
The four remaining Slaiyers looked at each other.
"J2 probably tampered with the votes" Fang shrugged.
"Right, anyway, Jacob and DryBones get your Mountain Dew cans so we can get this over with quicker." Admin said.
"Yes! Not the first voted off two times in a row! Oh boy! Who wants to celebrate with some wheel of fortune later?" DryBones asked.
"DryBones go back in your cage" Element ordered.
DaUser and Fang, the final two. They looked into each other's eyes and then at the final Mountain Dew can. The intensity was rising...
"Only one can move on..." Admin said one last time.
DaUser closed his eyes.
"The final Mountain Dew can goes to..."
Fang screamed internally.
"Dalosername" Admin said.
"Yes." Dawinnername said, receiving his Mountain Dew can.
"What? What sorcery is this? I didn't even do anything? No!" Fang shouted dramatically.
"Drop of shame awaits" Admin smiled, handing Fang a backpack.
Fang walked over to the edge and gulped.
"Do I at least get a chance to come back?" Fang asked.
"Maybe. But what would be the point? Nobody who ever comes back ever wins" Admin said.
"Well it's fun..." Fang said.
"Yeah whatever have fun in the wasteland of nothingness that is Utah" Admin said, shoving Fang off the plane, and he screamed as he fell in the darkness.
Some of his teammates gathered to the door to watch him fall.
[Rydli in le confession toulet]
"And the first has fallen. 38 to go, one by one, they will all fall..."
Flex
[le end]
With the Troll Slaiyers down their first member, their now remain 19, and 39 overall. Who will be eliminated next? Where will we go next? Who the fuck am I? Find out next time on Haiku! Drama! World Tour!" Admin shouted.
"And so my first day of Haikucon has concluded. Some guy I've never met was thrown off the plane and a bunch of Mormons had a fight to the death. Kinda craving Five Guys right now. This is GenesisFrenzy, singing off" Riley said to his phone camera.
"Hey Riley can I be in your video?" ToastWolf asked.
"No. Mostly because you asked me literally right after I said I was ending the video." Riley said.
"Oo, oo, is there time for me to do a Team Rocket reference? It'll be a classic throwback yes!" J said, preparing his voice
"To-"
"Love ru lol!" ToastWolf said.
"No!" J said.
"Maybe there's still ti-"
Cut to Admin standing alone in the elimination chamber, watching the sky outside. He dials a number in his phone and calls it, putting the phone to his ear as the other end picks up.
"Hey Simon. Get ready." he said.
End of Day 1
Initiation at 2.63%
20-8-5 / 8-1-9-11-21-5-18-19 / 23-5-18-5 / 14-15-20 / 20-8-5 / 15-14-12-25 / 15-14-5-19 / 20-15 / 2-15-1-18-4 / 20-8-5 / 16-12-1-14-5